What’s a quote that perfectly describes your outlook on life?
This WordPress writing prompt is basically a repeat of two days ago, with different wording.
As it happens, a commenter on my posteat dessert first (Sambuca from Ontario) planted the idea of peach ice cream in my little brain and I could not stop thinking about how it’s a seasonal “featured” flavor at my local ice cream stand that I have never tried. So, last night, I rectified the situation.
I thought I was ordering the smallest size available (it’s called a “kiddie”) but now I know that I need to order a “mini” if I really only want a little bit.
Ice cream twice in one week. Someone had to do it.
But I haven’t really been anywhere for over a year now. This is due to my husband’s health. His shitty knees took a turn for the worse after our trip to Ireland last summer. He ended up getting two total knee replacements in 2025/26. If you haven’t heard, knee replacements are a real bitch. After that, he got a mysterious set of symptoms that may be partly related to the knees that I hope are finally subsiding. Fingers crossed! He’s back to planning for the future—he’s mapping out a new vegetable garden and signed a contract to purchase solar panels for our home.
I’m hopeful that we can start to travel again soon. I’ve rebooked a trip to Acadia National Park in Maine, which I had to cancel last year due to his knees.
Nowadays, everything I book is cancellable. For decades, I never canceled a single trip, but now that I’m in my sixties, I know that shit can and does happen. I had to cancel my planned weeklong Dance Camp because I got plantar fasciitis in my left heel. Oh well. These things happen.
My calendar is always marked with the last day I can cancel any trip without losing too much money.
Magical moment in Yellowstone National Park, August 2024, shortly before we became grandparents for the first time
I’m not sure who said this originally: Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first
But I will always attribute it to my dear friend’s late father. Last summer, at her daughter’s wedding, when I arrived at my seat for the reception, this was my place setting.
And in that spirit, here’s a photo of an amazing dessert I had last night. (I actually had it after dinner, but I was not too full and enjoyed every bite.)
The flavor is “vanilla blueberry crumble” and it is delicious. It’s vanilla with fresh blueberries and graham crackers from the locally famous Kimball Farm.
That’s a small! (I finished it, obvi)
I don’t know if other parts of the country have local ice cream stands that were originally dairy farms operated by hearty, entrepreneurial types who decided to expand into ice cream in the early part of the 20th century, but eastern Massachusetts has many great options. Many have been in continuous operation since before WW2 and the ice cream is amazing.
What’s a skill you consider basic, that most people don’t actually know how to do?
So many people say they “can’t sing” and it bugs me. Everyone CAN sing, but not everyone can sing in tune. My mother is a non-singer. She said she’s so bad at it that she was told to “mouth the words” to her sorority song, so as not to be heard by whatever audience listened to sorority girls sing songs in the 1950s. I’ve literally never heard her sing.
My husband can’t read music or play an instrument but he can sing — in tune. He will do karaoke in a pinch, if required. I think it’s because he listens to a lot of music and sings or hums along.
That is honestly the best way to learn to sing: Sing or hum along with music you like.
If you can’t find a song you like, then sing this one. It’s the classic.
Julie Andrews taught me
Imagine a world where nobody ever says “I can’t sing,” but instead just joins in with everyone else, I think it might actually fix all our problems.
I feel like this is low-key one of the “God questions.” It’s not directly asking if you believe in God, but who else is providing the “reasons,” if not God?
It’s hard to imagine there could be any conceivable “reason” for the awful things that happen in this world. Here in Massachusetts, we are dealing with daily gruesome reporting on the Lindsay Clancy trial—the labor & delivery nurse who strangled all 3 of her young children and then attempted suicide by jumping out a window in a state of post-partum psychosis, while her husband was out picking up dinner. He came home to find his wife paralyzed on the front lawn and all three of his children in the basement with exercise bands wrapped around their necks. What possible reason?
When my own three cousins were tiny (under 5), their mother (my aunt) found a lump in her breast and then died of breast cancer at age 30. I had prayed so hard to Catholic God for her to live. But Catholic God decided she should die. And, at her funeral, Catholic priest implied God had a good reason for “calling her home” to Him early. I’m pretty sure that was the exact moment I quit believing in the Catholic Church and its God.
So no, I don’t think “everything happens for a reason.” Some things are just horrible misfortunes that nobody deserves.
My aunt Betsy (far left) holding one of her children. She died a year or so later.
I have fond memories of two women with whom I studied abroad in fall 1985. We were in Rome.
One woman went to the same college as me and we stayed friends when we got back to our campus in Connecticut. We kept in touch after graduation. For years, she would call me on my birthday. I’d pick up the phone and she’d just say “Ciao Maria” and I knew exactly who it was. She was a bit mysterious and I typically had to wait for her to call me. I rarely had contact info for her. And then, after a number of years, she vanished. No social media profile, no alumni directory info, not on LinkedIn. I really don’t know what happened to her. I miss her sometimes, but whenever I’ve googled her, I come up empty. (I once sent off an email to what I thought might’ve been her work address, but never heard back.)
The other woman was my roommate in Rome. We didn’t go to the same college, but got along great. She went to an Ivy League school and was planning to become a doctor. We did not keep in touch after Rome, but I was always grateful to have had her there with me. Welp, I googled her this week and found out she’s a renowned plastic surgeon with her own skincare line. She’s helped all kinds of people—from burn victims to trans people needing gender-affirming care. She’s got a podcast and does all kinds of great work in the wellness arena too.
I reached out via instagram and she was happy to hear from me. We then texted a bit and I sent her some old photos from our time abroad. Perhaps we’ll get together at some point, but probably not. It’s been over 40 years since I’ve seen her. I had forgotten that two of the other women in the program were friends of hers from high school. She said the three of them “see each other all the time.”
I’m left feeling both completely inferior (a renowned plastic surgeon!) and sad that I lost my real friend from Rome (the one I stayed in touch with for years) while she’s still palling around with her old friends.
Sometimes you should just let the past stay in the past, I guess. Maybe that’s the lesson.
My two “friends for a season” on the right, partying in our convent dorm room in Rome, Italy, 1985.
We saw The Odyssey yesterday—the latest blockbuster film from Christopher Nolan. Honestly, I was not a huge fan of Oppenheimer, but it’s not like we were going to skip the biggest film of the summer. (As you may have heard, it’s three hours long and cost 250 million dollars to make.)
I did a bit a “research” beforehand (I watched one video and read one article in the NYT), so I knew some basics about: Zeus‘s Law; Helen of Troy; Ithaca; and the Greek gods Zeus, Athena, Poseidon and Hades. I recommend doing that before seeing it or you will be confused.
My husband, who read way more Greek mythology than me as a kid, but didn’t brush up before the movie, was pretty confused. He gave the film a resounding “Meh.” In addition to being confused, he felt that none of the characters were particularly well developed.
My take home message was this: war is hell and (most) men are pigs.
The best scene in the film is when the witch Circe (brilliantly played by Samantha Morton) turns Odysseus’ men into actual pigs. It’s not a subtle message.
And as if to make the point more clear, I read these two bits of news upon my return from the theater:
As I watched 3,000 year old Troy burn, I couldn’t help but think of Tehran, Gaza, Kyiv, Manhattan and scores of other cities and countries that have seen bombings and other manmade violence in my lifetime alone. Some places are getting drone-bombed right now for God’s sake.
War just never seems to go away permanently. Where there are men, there are wars.
My son grew up with the girl next door. He was three when we moved here and she was the only other little kid in the neighborhood. She’s two and half years older than him, but when they were small, that didn’t matter.
They played in leaves, they played in snow, they played in sand, they bounced on her trampoline. They played video games or did legos together when it was too cold to go outside.
“Can I call Maddie?” was his #1 question in life for many years.
Eventually they grew apart, but she was his first best friend.
The Girl Next Door.
John and Maddie in 2005. She turned 28 yesterday and I reached out to her Mom with this photo. Her Dad still lives next door, but we don’t see him much.The friendship lasted through several years of grade school.
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