The Northern Lights

~ MaryG ~ 40 Comments

I think a lot of people in the Northeast (including me!) checked off “See the Northern Lights” from their buckets lists last night. This was especially rewarding for those of us who missed seeing them in May. Who knew our once-in-a-lifetime chance would come twice in one year?

The Northern Lights from my very own neighborhood last night around 7:15pm. I was on my way to choir practice and happened to look up.

This feels like a lot of things.

Remembrance

The lights and colors in the sky last night reminded me of my close friend from college, Carla, who died in 2022. She had brain cancer. She really wanted to see the Northern Lights before she died, but was too sick to travel, so her friends and family found a way to project them onto the ceiling in her bedroom in Santa Fe. It was beautiful.

A Sign

I know I’m not alone in feeling a lot of anxiety about the state of the country and the way it feels like we’re never going to go back to “normal” — no matter who wins the election. I’ve never in my life been afraid of a US election, but I’m afraid of this one.

Similarly, I never once saw the Northern Lights as a kid growing up in Massachusetts, but this year, many New Englanders saw them twice! A little girl standing near me last night said, “this is God.” Maybe so. Or maybe it’s a sign of transition to a new era—an era where completely new things happen.

Unknown new things are scary and I have a strong urge to “circle the wagons” and try to protect the ones I love. (I think to myself, “please stay in Massachusetts where you’ll maybe be a bit safer from gun violence, flooding, dangerous reproductive care, crappy public schools, etc.)

But I know that’s not really possible.

My new granddaughter will hopefully live into the next century. She will live out most of her life in this new era, whatever it may be. I want her to feel free, adventurous, and safe to explore the world beyond her home state.

Living in the transitional time

An activist friend of mine left for New Zealand yesterday. She’s staying until the end of the month. She said she just needed to get out of the country for these last few weeks before the election. I can relate. In some ways, it’s all just too much.

Maybe seeing the aurora borealis is the reminder some of us needed to center ourselves and live in the moment. Humans have been around a long time and have accomplished many great things and many terrible things. Even though it sometimes feels like end times are upon us, there’s a decent chance that something great is just around the corner too.

Final thought: just breathe

Related post:

Northern Lights II

Greece and virtual travel

~ MaryG ~ 9 Comments

What’s a country that’s at the top of your bucket list?

I’m not sure if or when I’m ever going to make it back to Europe, but I’d like to see Greece in person before I kick the bucket. I was a history major in college. I want to see the birthplace of Western civilization. Also, I hear the food is amazing.

In the meantime, we’ve been doing some “virtual travel” through a company called Indigare. The trips are offered to us as a free benefit through our bank. At first, I thought that this was just a sad holdover from the pandemic lockdown and the “tours” would be totally lame. But I’ve actually enjoyed these virtual trips, which include a private tour of a major site, followed by live Q & A with scholars and experts. I always like it when I ask a question (in the chat) and they answer it live. It’s done through Zoom.

So far, we’ve done virtual tours of:

Machu Picchu and the lesser-known Inca ruins of Chachabamba with famed explorer Peter Frost

UNESCO’s Alhambra (Spain’s Royal Masterpiece) in Granada

Olympia, Greece: The Birthplace of the Olympic Games

India’s Architectural Masterpieces: the Taj Mahal, Agra Fort and Itimad-ud-Daulah (the Baby Taj)

King Tut at the newly opened Grand Egyptian Museum near the Giza pyramids in Egypt

Next up is “Japan’s most extraordinary art destination” this Thursday at noon.

Aaaaah, no airports, no jet lag, no huge bill$, just a fresh cup of coffee and expert tour guides showing me something really cool.

Alhambra (image from Pexels)

Dealing with caterwaulers

~ MaryG ~ 15 Comments

What are your strategies for SEO?

Soprano Enforcement Operations are difficult and delicate.

I’m no professional singer, but I’m a decent amateur choral singer. I’ve been singing in choirs my whole life. I’ve had voice lessons. I can sing high notes well. I can give a choir director what they want.

Also, I love to sing, as do many other people with far less experience than me. So, what to do when one of them feels very happy and confident singing soprano alongside you – very loudly with no real sense of the pitch? The term caterwauling comes to mind. Here are a few strategies:

  1. Appreciate her enthusiasm! She loves to sing, just like you do.
  2. Never, and I mean NEVER, correct another singer in your amateur church or community choir.
  3. You’ll notice the director trying to tamp down the caterwauler, who may or may not catch on. All you can do is MODEL the correct way to sing something and do exactly what the music director asks.
  4. Sing softer and with the best possible technique. The caterwauler will hopefully realize that she’s screeching like a cornered cat and pipe down on her own.
  5. If you have a good ear and a bad ear (like me), position yourself with the caterwauler near your bad ear and the rest of the choir on your good side. (It’s more important to hear them than her.)
  6. Final tip, and this one is a bit risky. Just prior to important soprano entrances, subtly block the ear near the caterwauler (you can pretend you’re scratching your head or adjusting your glasses). That way when the caterwauler blasts in with the wrong note, she won’t throw you off and you can help right the ship.

Highly recommended film for choir ladies (and gents): The Choral on Netflix, starring Ralph Fiennes. I really loved it. My husband (who is not a choir guy) liked it too.

Good People

~ MaryG ~ 11 Comments

What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?

Probably could have saved myself a bunch of pain by not worrying so much about what my parents thought. The guilt trips were (and are) detrimental to my mental health. I’m in my 60s FFS and I still have to brace myself to tell them I’m not going to do certain things they want (like invite a difficult relative to my home).

Now, I’m not saying my parents were anything like the Afghani immigrant parents in Good People—the new bestseller by Patmeena Sabit—but I did find certain elements of that poor girl’s story somewhat relatable. (My father is a second generation immigrant from Italy.)

Warning: spoilers ahead

If you read it, what are your thoughts? Was it an “honor killing” or not?

The most upsetting chapter to me was the medical examiner’s report. The description of what Zorah was wearing when she died was just so…poignant. I stopped and cried at that point in the book.

I guess the part I related to was the whole idea of parents being more concerned about what the community or the neighbors think rather than what is actually going on with their child. Also, siblings getting dragged into each other’s problems. You are not your brother or sister’s keeper. I don’t think that expectation is healthy. I’m not saying siblings shouldn’t care for each other, but when shit hits the fan, the actual adults in the family should deal. Don’t drag your other kids into a big mess that is not of their own making.

If Zorah’s brother did do the awful thing, do you think he was equally as guilty as her father? Or less so, because of his age and likely being pressured by the father?

And goodness, where was the mother in all of this and why was she so weak?

I know, I know…it’s the motherfucking patriarchy.

Solar ON

~ MaryG ~ 10 Comments

As of yesterday morning around 10am, our new solar panels are ON and doing their thing.

There’s an app that shows us exactly how much energy our panels are producing in real time.

Also, we voted. Our ballots are in the mail. Massachusetts had a record nine ballot questions this time, which is ridiculous. The single most ridiculous question was about repealing our wildly popular recreational marijuana law, which passed in 2016.

Hard NO on Question 8.

Almost time to harvest our homegrown weed

Harvest morning

~ MaryG ~ 12 Comments

Tell us about your morning routine.

My morning routine is get up, drink coffee, read stuff, write stuff, do word games, and generally live the leisurely life of the retired.

Yesterday morning (and by morning, I mean slightly before noon) I went out to the new vegetable garden with my husband and he harvested some lettuce, which we ate in a salad last night, so that was exciting.

Bibb lettuce
Swiss chard is not ready yet
We’ve had a few radishes already

This morning, I’m going to go get a flu shot at CVS. Woohoo! Exciting day 😉

Tell everyone it’s your birthday

~ MaryG ~ 18 Comments

What’s the best way to meet new people while traveling?

I wrote many posts about my trip to Ireland in 2025. I turned 60 on that trip and it was my first ever extended group tour. I think we had 28 people in all, including me and my husband. We were together for about a week.

I was nervous about how I’d like traveling with strangers, but wanted the ease of not driving or needing to book every attraction and meal myself. I researched a lot of tours and chose Rick Steves, largely for the price and the fact that Steves is a well known Trump-hating liberal. I figured the chances of me getting stuck making small talk with some Texan in a red hat were minimal.

It was great. I decided on Day One to be open and friendly and our group had great rapport. Our Irish guide Joe was a deeply intellectual and thoughtful artist type (bit of a tortured soul), but honestly, what better type of person to show you Ireland? When it rained, he played us haunting songs like Fairytale of New York by the Pogues and Grace by Rod Stewart on the bus’ sound system.

That’s Joe on the right paying our tab in a pub in Listowel, County Kerry, Ireland. The other man is the pub owner and son of the famous Irish playwright John B Keane (author of The Field)

I was not shy about jumping in with my questions (like is “paddy” a slur or not? Short answer: yes, but they can use it). Joe teased me—a lot—but that was OK. He needed someone to play off and help him lighten up at times. Plus, it was MY birthday, which I made clear.

Blowing out my 60th birthday candle in Dingle, Ireland

I’ve kept in touch with a few folks from the group, including two sisters from Minnesota who came to Boston, where I met up with them. They gave me credit for our group getting on so well. They said I just came in and announced “it’s my birthday this week and I want everyone to sing to me” and that broke the ice. It turns out there were two other birthday girls on our trip, so we celebrated them too.

So, I’d say go ahead and try a group tour on your next foreign excursion, but do your research about the company you choose. Make sure it matches your personality. And then, don’t be shy. Don’t be obnoxious, but don’t be shy.

Rick Steves Group Tour photo near Gallarus Oratory, Dingle Penninsula, County Kerry 🇮🇪

Welcome the stranger

~ MaryG ~ 17 Comments

If aliens arrived tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d ask them?

Assuming they’ve come in peace, it’s always good to greet a stranger with warmth and kindness. So, I probably wouldn’t start right in with my big questions. I’d be more like what do I call you? Am I pronouncing that right? How was your trip? Maybe offer a little welcome gift like these dahlias that my husband grew in our front garden.

Arithmetic

~ MaryG ~ 15 Comments

What’s the most underrated life skill?

View all responses

This article from the Washington Post focuses on better listening, which is an important life skill. But I feel like everyone knows that listening is important. (That doesn’t mean they do it well, but they know they should.) The main tip in the article comes from therapists, but it works for everyone: “If someone is upset, try to listen to what they’re saying and paraphrase it back to them.” It’s called reflective listening.

In terms of underrated skills, I feel like math gets overlooked. And by math, I don’t mean calculus or geometry or even algebra…I mean arithmetic. You know…adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing and doing percentages in your head. You really shouldn’t need a calculator to figure out what 20% of your bill is in order to tip your hairdresser or server.

For a year or so, I was doing a daily brain-enhancing app that had both language and math exercises, but it wasn’t free and I didn’t renew it. Still, I’m surprised how much of the math stuck with me.

I worked the jewelry table last Saturday at my church’s country fair. Although we had Venmo set up, most people paid cash. I had to figure out lots of sums and then make change for lots of people quickly—all in my head. Honestly, not to brag or anything, but I nailed it 😉. I was just as good as the other lady working with me—and she’s a high school math teacher. I think it was the app.

I need to go find another math (arithmetic) app to keep practicing all the little tricks that make it come fast and easy, when you need it. It’s good “rip off protection” too. You’re harder to scam or take advantage of when you can do arithmetic in your aging head.

This photo is from the jewelry booth at last year’s fair. We had a lot more people this year, including many “hoverers”—women who just couldn’t pry themselves away. My sense was that this was a year to “treat yourself” to some cheap used jewelry because everything else in life is insanely expensive. And we know who to blame for that: 🍊🤡 & his GOP enablers.

If you’re American, for the love of GAWD, make sure you’re registered to vote in the midterms: IWillVote.com

Keep going

~ MaryG ~ 8 Comments

What’s a personal mantra or philosophy you live by?

I finally got around to watching Season Three of The Comeback on HBO and it was wonderful. It’s topical (the writer’s strike and AI are big themes) but also I’ve never loved Valerie more. At 63 years old, Lisa Kudrow’s tragicomic Valerie Cherish somehow gives women of a certain age the dignity they deserve.

Here’s the defining scene (copied from Reddit):

Jane: “I’ve watched you for 20 years, Valerie. 20 years, in an industry that offered you nothing but humiliation. I don’t know how you kept going.”

Valerie: “Isn’t that funny? I never felt that. Humiliation? No. No. Well, I felt when people were mean to me or insulting, sure, you know? But that didn’t serve me. I just needed to get where I was going. But humiliation? No. I think you have to agree to be humiliated, and I never signed up. I don’t know. Just did the best with what I was given, right? Isn’t that what being a human being is though? Right? You just make the best of things. Otherwise, you’re just left behind and miserable all the time, you know? Yeah. Things aren’t always going to be the way you want, right? Not always gonna get the perfect job, or whatever, but you have to make the best of it. You have to adapt. Keep going. Anyway, that’s what I tried to do.”

Jane: “I feel like I’m seeing you for the first time.”

Valerie: “Really? Maybe that’s why you haven’t been able to get this doc right. You’ve been telling the wrong story. Now tell the one about Valerie Cherish.”

Along with Hacks, The Comeback is one of the greatest TV shows ever about women in entertainment. And so so funny 😂

Also, cameos galore in Season 3. Actors I love just kept showing up in scenes.

Oh, the places we went (without Siri)

~ MaryG ~ 34 Comments

What’s the best way to explore a new city?

I just gotta point out that before smart phones, “exploring a new city” was completely different. Young people have no idea.

First, if you were driving there, you could get completely lost just finding the city, because you had to rely on maps—fold-out paper maps or atlases (books of maps). There was no Siri, there was no Google Maps, there was no MapQuest or Waze. There was no phone in your car. There were road signs and your own God-given sense of direction.

In the olden days, the absolute best way to explore a new city, was to meet up with a friend (or a friend of a friend) who lived there. If you were lucky, they’d let you crash on their couch. At night, they would take you to some local dive bar where you met their friends and got a feel for what it was like to actually live in their city.

In the day, you wandered around visiting record stores and coffee shops and tourist sites that you’d heard of by word of mouth (talking to other humans).

My friend Julie and me kicking around San Francisco in 1988. We stayed with a high school friend of hers. We’d driven up from LA where we’d also stayed with a friend in West Hollywood. Fortunately, it was hard to get lost on that drive up from LA. We knew if we kept the Pacific Ocean on our left, we’d get there eventually.