The Northern Lights

~ MaryG ~ 40 Comments

I think a lot of people in the Northeast (including me!) checked off “See the Northern Lights” from their buckets lists last night. This was especially rewarding for those of us who missed seeing them in May. Who knew our once-in-a-lifetime chance would come twice in one year?

The Northern Lights from my very own neighborhood last night around 7:15pm. I was on my way to choir practice and happened to look up.

This feels like a lot of things.

Remembrance

The lights and colors in the sky last night reminded me of my close friend from college, Carla, who died in 2022. She had brain cancer. She really wanted to see the Northern Lights before she died, but was too sick to travel, so her friends and family found a way to project them onto the ceiling in her bedroom in Santa Fe. It was beautiful.

A Sign

I know I’m not alone in feeling a lot of anxiety about the state of the country and the way it feels like we’re never going to go back to “normal” — no matter who wins the election. I’ve never in my life been afraid of a US election, but I’m afraid of this one.

Similarly, I never once saw the Northern Lights as a kid growing up in Massachusetts, but this year, many New Englanders saw them twice! A little girl standing near me last night said, “this is God.” Maybe so. Or maybe it’s a sign of transition to a new era—an era where completely new things happen.

Unknown new things are scary and I have a strong urge to “circle the wagons” and try to protect the ones I love. (I think to myself, “please stay in Massachusetts where you’ll maybe be a bit safer from gun violence, flooding, dangerous reproductive care, crappy public schools, etc.)

But I know that’s not really possible.

My new granddaughter will hopefully live into the next century. She will live out most of her life in this new era, whatever it may be. I want her to feel free, adventurous, and safe to explore the world beyond her home state.

Living in the transitional time

An activist friend of mine left for New Zealand yesterday. She’s staying until the end of the month. She said she just needed to get out of the country for these last few weeks before the election. I can relate. In some ways, it’s all just too much.

Maybe seeing the aurora borealis is the reminder some of us needed to center ourselves and live in the moment. Humans have been around a long time and have accomplished many great things and many terrible things. Even though it sometimes feels like end times are upon us, there’s a decent chance that something great is just around the corner too.

Final thought: just breathe

Related post:

Northern Lights II

Single motherhood

~ MaryG ~ 22 Comments

What’s something you used to worry about but don’t anymore?

I used to worry that something would happen to my husband before our kids grew up. I worried that he’d die and I’d be left to raise them alone. We never had life insurance policies. (Too expensive) When I had just one child (my daughter), I figured I could manage. Somehow, she and I would get by. After my son was born six years later, I was really dependent on my husband (and his income). I wouldn’t have been able to do it on my own without help.

Sometimes now, I just revel in the relief of having them both grown and living independently. I am here if they need me, of course, but they don’t NEED me, need me—in that food/shelter/life/death kind of way—anymore. Phew.

I still worry about my husband dying, but it’s more about me now. How would I change the water filters on my own? Or reprogram the sprinklers after a power outage? Who would watch Masterpiece with me??

Nantucket, 2007
I sometimes found raising two kids hard with two parents on the job—literally, one for each kid. We also had a helpful set of grandparents nearby. Hats off to all the women who raise children completely on their own. Some of them do it so brilliantly, but I’m glad I don’t have that particular worry anymore.

Just peachy

~ MaryG ~ 21 Comments

What’s a quote that perfectly describes your outlook on life?

This WordPress writing prompt is basically a repeat of two days ago, with different wording.

As it happens, a commenter on my post eat dessert first (Sambuca from Ontario) planted the idea of peach ice cream in my little brain and I could not stop thinking about how it’s a seasonal “featured” flavor at my local ice cream stand that I have never tried. So, last night, I rectified the situation.

I thought I was ordering the smallest size available (it’s called a “kiddie”) but now I know that I need to order a “mini” if I really only want a little bit.

Ice cream twice in one week. Someone had to do it.

And yup, it was just as delicious as it looks.

Bucket List update

~ MaryG ~ 26 Comments

What are your top 10 travel destinations?

Between 2023 and 2025, I was on a real run with my Bucket List. I did all this stuff:

Grand Canyon ✅ 2023

Paris ✅ 2023

Finger Lakes & Hot Air Ballooning ✅ 2024

Outdoor Concert at Tanglewood (summer home of the Boston Symphony Orchestra) ✅ 2024

Yellowstone National Park ✅ 2024

Saw the Northern Lights ✅ 2024 & 2025 (right in our own town—we got lucky, twice!)

Key West ✅ 2025

Ireland ✅ 2025 (my 60th birthday trip)

But I haven’t really been anywhere for over a year now. This is due to my husband’s health. His shitty knees took a turn for the worse after our trip to Ireland last summer. He ended up getting two total knee replacements in 2025/26. If you haven’t heard, knee replacements are a real bitch. After that, he got a mysterious set of symptoms that may be partly related to the knees that I hope are finally subsiding. Fingers crossed! He’s back to planning for the future—he’s mapping out a new vegetable garden and signed a contract to purchase solar panels for our home.

I’m hopeful that we can start to travel again soon. I’ve rebooked a trip to Acadia National Park in Maine, which I had to cancel last year due to his knees.

Nowadays, everything I book is cancellable. For decades, I never canceled a single trip, but now that I’m in my sixties, I know that shit can and does happen. I had to cancel my planned weeklong Dance Camp because I got plantar fasciitis in my left heel. Oh well. These things happen.

My calendar is always marked with the last day I can cancel any trip without losing too much money.

Magical moment in Yellowstone National Park, August 2024, shortly before we became grandparents for the first time

eat dessert first

~ MaryG ~ 33 Comments

What is your favorite quote?

I’m not sure who said this originally: Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first

But I will always attribute it to my dear friend’s late father. Last summer, at her daughter’s wedding, when I arrived at my seat for the reception, this was my place setting.

And in that spirit, here’s a photo of an amazing dessert I had last night. (I actually had it after dinner, but I was not too full and enjoyed every bite.)

The flavor is “vanilla blueberry crumble” and it is delicious. It’s vanilla with fresh blueberries and graham crackers from the locally famous Kimball Farm.

That’s a small! (I finished it, obvi)

I don’t know if other parts of the country have local ice cream stands that were originally dairy farms operated by hearty, entrepreneurial types who decided to expand into ice cream in the early part of the 20th century, but eastern Massachusetts has many great options. Many have been in continuous operation since before WW2 and the ice cream is amazing.

Here are my top four:

Kimball Farm

Bedford Farms

Great Brook State Park

Crescent Ridge Dairy Bar

Do-Re-Mi

~ MaryG ~ 24 Comments

What’s a skill you consider basic, that most people don’t actually know how to do?

So many people say they “can’t sing” and it bugs me. Everyone CAN sing, but not everyone can sing in tune. My mother is a non-singer. She said she’s so bad at it that she was told to “mouth the words” to her sorority song, so as not to be heard by whatever audience listened to sorority girls sing songs in the 1950s. I’ve literally never heard her sing.

My husband can’t read music or play an instrument but he can sing — in tune. He will do karaoke in a pinch, if required. I think it’s because he listens to a lot of music and sings or hums along.

That is honestly the best way to learn to sing: Sing or hum along with music you like.

If you can’t find a song you like, then sing this one. It’s the classic.

Julie Andrews taught me

Imagine a world where nobody ever says “I can’t sing,” but instead just joins in with everyone else, I think it might actually fix all our problems.

Obama sings Amazing Grace

Don’t be an Eeyore

~ MaryG ~ 14 Comments

Who is the fictional character you relate to the most?

My husband has a cousin who’s an Eeyore. He just is and, apparently, always was.

I really don’t want be an Eeyore, but it’s hard not to be, if you read any news at all.

Today I hope to snap out of Eeyore.

I think (and hope) I’m more of a Kanga, in need of a quick visit from Tigger to perk up.

Happy Friday.

God questions

~ MaryG ~ 32 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Do you think everything happens for a reason?
View all responses

I feel like this is low-key one of the “God questions.” It’s not directly asking if you believe in God, but who else is providing the “reasons,” if not God?

It’s hard to imagine there could be any conceivable “reason” for the awful things that happen in this world. Here in Massachusetts, we are dealing with daily gruesome reporting on the Lindsay Clancy trial—the labor & delivery nurse who strangled all 3 of her young children and then attempted suicide by jumping out a window in a state of post-partum psychosis, while her husband was out picking up dinner. He came home to find his wife paralyzed on the front lawn and all three of his children in the basement with exercise bands wrapped around their necks. What possible reason?

When my own three cousins were tiny (under 5), their mother (my aunt) found a lump in her breast and then died of breast cancer at age 30. I had prayed so hard to Catholic God for her to live. But Catholic God decided she should die. And, at her funeral, Catholic priest implied God had a good reason for “calling her home” to Him early. I’m pretty sure that was the exact moment I quit believing in the Catholic Church and its God.

So no, I don’t think “everything happens for a reason.” Some things are just horrible misfortunes that nobody deserves.

My aunt Betsy (far left) holding one of her children. She died a year or so later.

Inferiority complex

~ MaryG ~ 23 Comments

I have fond memories of two women with whom I studied abroad in fall 1985. We were in Rome.

One woman went to the same college as me and we stayed friends when we got back to our campus in Connecticut. We kept in touch after graduation. For years, she would call me on my birthday. I’d pick up the phone and she’d just say “Ciao Maria” and I knew exactly who it was. She was a bit mysterious and I typically had to wait for her to call me. I rarely had contact info for her. And then, after a number of years, she vanished. No social media profile, no alumni directory info, not on LinkedIn. I really don’t know what happened to her. I miss her sometimes, but whenever I’ve googled her, I come up empty. (I once sent off an email to what I thought might’ve been her work address, but never heard back.)

The other woman was my roommate in Rome. We didn’t go to the same college, but got along great. She went to an Ivy League school and was planning to become a doctor. We did not keep in touch after Rome, but I was always grateful to have had her there with me. Welp, I googled her this week and found out she’s a renowned plastic surgeon with her own skincare line. She’s helped all kinds of people—from burn victims to trans people needing gender-affirming care. She’s got a podcast and does all kinds of great work in the wellness arena too.

I reached out via instagram and she was happy to hear from me. We then texted a bit and I sent her some old photos from our time abroad. Perhaps we’ll get together at some point, but probably not. It’s been over 40 years since I’ve seen her. I had forgotten that two of the other women in the program were friends of hers from high school. She said the three of them “see each other all the time.”

I’m left feeling both completely inferior (a renowned plastic surgeon!) and sad that I lost my real friend from Rome (the one I stayed in touch with for years) while she’s still palling around with her old friends.

Sometimes you should just let the past stay in the past, I guess. Maybe that’s the lesson.

My two “friends for a season” on the right, partying in our convent dorm room in Rome, Italy, 1985.

Impossible dream

~ MaryG ~ 28 Comments

What’s your biggest dream?

We saw The Odyssey yesterday—the latest blockbuster film from Christopher Nolan. Honestly, I was not a huge fan of Oppenheimer, but it’s not like we were going to skip the biggest film of the summer. (As you may have heard, it’s three hours long and cost 250 million dollars to make.)

I did a bit a “research” beforehand (I watched one video and read one article in the NYT), so I knew some basics about: Zeus‘s Law; Helen of Troy; Ithaca; and the Greek gods Zeus, Athena, Poseidon and Hades. I recommend doing that before seeing it or you will be confused.

My husband, who read way more Greek mythology than me as a kid, but didn’t brush up before the movie, was pretty confused. He gave the film a resounding “Meh.” In addition to being confused, he felt that none of the characters were particularly well developed.

My take home message was this: war is hell and (most) men are pigs.

The best scene in the film is when the witch Circe (brilliantly played by Samantha Morton) turns Odysseus’ men into actual pigs. It’s not a subtle message.

And as if to make the point more clear, I read these two bits of news upon my return from the theater:

Pig Trump

Pig Hegseth

As I watched 3,000 year old Troy burn, I couldn’t help but think of Tehran, Gaza, Kyiv, Manhattan and scores of other cities and countries that have seen bombings and other manmade violence in my lifetime alone. Some places are getting drone-bombed right now for God’s sake.

War just never seems to go away permanently. Where there are men, there are wars.

A world without war seems an impossible dream.

Local food

~ MaryG ~ 15 Comments

What’s a promise you made to yourself that you’ve actually kept?

When this latest poorly-managed public health crisis started, I promised myself I’d patronize our local farmstands more.

Yesterday, we went to two of them and bought lettuce, cucumber, broccoli, and berries.

There’s a slice of pound cake under that pile of berries. And yes, I added whipped cream before eating. 😋