The Northern Lights

~ MaryG ~ 40 Comments

I think a lot of people in the Northeast (including me!) checked off “See the Northern Lights” from their buckets lists last night. This was especially rewarding for those of us who missed seeing them in May. Who knew our once-in-a-lifetime chance would come twice in one year?

The Northern Lights from my very own neighborhood last night around 7:15pm. I was on my way to choir practice and happened to look up.

This feels like a lot of things.

Remembrance

The lights and colors in the sky last night reminded me of my close friend from college, Carla, who died in 2022. She had brain cancer. She really wanted to see the Northern Lights before she died, but was too sick to travel, so her friends and family found a way to project them onto the ceiling in her bedroom in Santa Fe. It was beautiful.

A Sign

I know I’m not alone in feeling a lot of anxiety about the state of the country and the way it feels like we’re never going to go back to “normal” — no matter who wins the election. I’ve never in my life been afraid of a US election, but I’m afraid of this one.

Similarly, I never once saw the Northern Lights as a kid growing up in Massachusetts, but this year, many New Englanders saw them twice! A little girl standing near me last night said, “this is God.” Maybe so. Or maybe it’s a sign of transition to a new era—an era where completely new things happen.

Unknown new things are scary and I have a strong urge to “circle the wagons” and try to protect the ones I love. (I think to myself, “please stay in Massachusetts where you’ll maybe be a bit safer from gun violence, flooding, dangerous reproductive care, crappy public schools, etc.)

But I know that’s not really possible.

My new granddaughter will hopefully live into the next century. She will live out most of her life in this new era, whatever it may be. I want her to feel free, adventurous, and safe to explore the world beyond her home state.

Living in the transitional time

An activist friend of mine left for New Zealand yesterday. She’s staying until the end of the month. She said she just needed to get out of the country for these last few weeks before the election. I can relate. In some ways, it’s all just too much.

Maybe seeing the aurora borealis is the reminder some of us needed to center ourselves and live in the moment. Humans have been around a long time and have accomplished many great things and many terrible things. Even though it sometimes feels like end times are upon us, there’s a decent chance that something great is just around the corner too.

Final thought: just breathe

Related post:

Northern Lights II

Graveyard installed

~ MaryG ~ 13 Comments

I am happy to report that the young fellow we hired to install some new garden beds and a deer fence for my husband was successful. Matt was our “plow guy” last winter, but we discovered he also does landscaping (as many plow guys do). Matt brought along two actual children with him as helpers and they worked all weekend long. When I asked if the boys were his nephews or younger brothers, he said that they were just two industrious boys who asked for work. It turns out they were 14 and 15 years old. I have never seen boys that young work so hard. I was a bit worried about them, but the weather was perfect and they seemed fine. I brought out snacks a few times and my husband gave them each a cash tip.

Matt in the new garden area on Saturday morning
Here’s how it looked Saturday night
And here’s how it looked last night after they left—my husband entering the raised bed enclosure for the first time.
Does it remind you of anything??
I’m sorry, but to me it looks like a bunch of freshly dug graves 🤣
If we got more trick-or-treaters, I’d attempt to create a graveyard scene for Halloween. I mean, it would be PERFECT.
A blank slate for my husband to pursue one of his great loves (plants) in his upcoming retirement. You can see two of our fruit trees behind the raised beds, and the big clump of cannabis plants on the right. (They’re going to get moved inside the fence next season.)
If this were an actual family graveyard, I think I’d want to be buried in one of the big containers inside the deer fence. This big grave seems too exposed. It is slated to become a butterfly garden 🦋

So, back to the prompt (sort of):

What’s the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?

I think it was pretty darn kind of me to help make one of his retirement dreams a reality. (I found Matt and had the bright idea to contact him for this job.) Last weekend was supposed to be my Bucket List trip to Acadia National Park, which I canceled mostly because my husband was not feeling well enough to travel. (Weather would’ve been perfect for it too.)

I trust my kindness will be repaid in organic vegetables, pretty flowers and cannabis galore in the coming years. And I’m sure I’ll make it up to Acadia – eventually.

Massachusetts Dems

~ MaryG ~ 14 Comments

For what it’s worth, I think very old people should retire, especially from Congress.

At age 80, Ed Markey is too old to be elected to a six-year term as a Massachusetts senator. I voted for his 47-year old primary opponent Seth Moulton—a Harvard graduate (Physics Major), multi-term U.S. Representative, decorated Marine Corps veteran, and married father of two daughters.

The main objection to Moulton seems to be that he once said something along the lines of “I don’t want my daughters to have to play contact sports with formerly male athletes.” This seems like a ridiculous reason for Massachusetts “progressives” to throw him under the bus, but that’s exactly what they’re doing, including many of the activists from my church.

So now, I keep my mouth shut. I’m obviously going to vote for Markey over any Republican in the general election.

Markey is a tall old white man (not a known member of the LGBTQ community). He has no children. I believe he served in the Army Reserves during the Vietnam War. My favorite thing that he’s done as Senator was to speak out against the TikTok ban.

Here’s what the New York Times had to say about this race.

Fruit trees

~ MaryG ~ 34 Comments

We hired the young man who plowed our driveway last winter to help install my husband’s new vegetable garden (aka The Retirement Garden), which will have four large raised beds, irrigation, and a deer fence. (Fingers crossed the kid is up to the job. The soil where the fence posts need to get sunk in is very hard.)

In the meantime, a few of the many fruit trees my husband planted about twenty years ago have survived deer and other blights and are producing fruit. And for some reason, this year, the squirrels are missing in action. Typically, they would’ve had these trees stripped by now.

I made my first ever pie from the apples in our yard yesterday.

According to Google,
“Winesap apples are a classic American heirloom variety prized for their deep, cherry-red skin, exceptionally crisp texture, and unique, tangy, wine-like flavor. Dating back to the colonial era, they are famous for an intense sweet-tart profile with spicy undertones, making them a premier choice for fresh eating, cider brewing, and baking.”
My Winesap apple pie was really good. I used the basic recipe that’s printed in the bottom of my pie plate, but these apples definitely have a complex, spicier taste than the usual store-bought varieties.
Thank you squirrels for taking a vacation this year.
Bosc pear tree
Asian pear tree
I have done some baking with our Asian pears in the past, but they’re very sweet. They’re best eaten fresh off the tree.
These beautiful pears are hanging just out of my reach, untouched by squirrels. We finally broke down and ordered a fruit picking tool so we can get these down, but it’s not being delivered until Tuesday. 😕 I really I hope we beat the squirrels to these.
And here’s a throwback photo (August 2002). Check out that harvest. My husband grew all that food! He actually remembers the exact moment he went Organic after reading the ingredients on a bag of grub killer at our first house in Canton, MA in 1995.

Growing some of our own food again has become increasingly appealing in Trump’s America. Between skyrocketing food prices, never ending news of American food supply contaminations, and now an absolutely ridiculous trade war with Canada, we want to put our sunny yard back to doing something useful.

The best laid plans

~ MaryG ~ 17 Comments

How do you deal with uncertainty?

Clearly not very well, based on yesterday’s post, which I have since deleted because it was so whiny. (Turns out I got all the information I needed about the out-of-town wedding later that day.)

As Tina of A Midlife Adventure once noted that one of the good outcomes of COVID is that nearly all travel plans are cancellable these days. I’ve had to cancel both my Dance Camp and Acadia National Park trips because I have developed plantar fasciitis in my left heel. It started after my Circle Dance in June. I was wearing cheap shoes and we did a flat-footed dance and I think I just stomped too hard for too long. I’m finally getting physical therapy for it, but I can’t walk very far at the moment.

Life is totally uncertain. Everyone knows this, but people over 60 really know it. Sadly, we all have close friends and family members who have died. I guess the main things you can do in the face of uncertainty are: 1) Breathe; 2) Gather as much information as you can about the issue at hand (burying your head in the sand rarely helps); and 3) Don’t get too attached to your plans!

Fine dining in Boston

~ MaryG ~ 13 Comments

Which is the best restaurant in your city?

For the purposes of this prompt, I’m going to claim Boston as “my” city, even though I live about 20 miles northwest in suburbia.

And the winner is:

Deuxave

Wonderful food

Classy, intimate atmosphere

Great service

Terrific location in Boston’s most beautiful neighborhood—the Back Bay—at the corner of two of Boston’s most iconic streets: Massachusetts and Commonwealth Avenues, thus the name. DeuxAve (get it? French for two avenues)

If you’re coming to Boston and you want to splurge on fine dining ($$$), I recommend a meal at Deuxave.

My family and me in the bar at Deuxave on my 50th birthday (11 years ago). The restaurant has been in business since 2010.

Eldest Daughter Syndrome

~ MaryG ~ 16 Comments

If you had a time machine and could send just one message to your past self, what would it say?

I don’t know if everyone knows this or not, but there’s an entire corner of the internet dedicated to “Eldest Daughter Syndrome.” It seems like it applies largely to immigrant families where the oldest daughters and/or oldest granddaughters get stuck with a LOT, like becoming the family’s default adult long before they’re actually adults, translating for parents, managing paperwork and appointments, mediating conflicts, supervising younger siblings, and generally absorbing emotional labor that “should” belong to a parent. The pattern often continues into adulthood.

Now, I’m not saying I had to do any of that really hard stuff. (I’m a third generation immigrant. My parents were both born here and did fine. My grandfather was born in Italy and died young, and my grandmother was illiterate in both English and Italian, although she spoke and understood English just fine.) Still, I do relate a bit to the Eldest Daughter problems that other women describe. Being the oldest, I think I tried too hard to please my parents. I cared too much what they thought. As I’ve mentioned many times, I was raised Catholic. I think I took the fifth commandment “Honor thy Mother and Father” too seriously. I tried too hard to be perfect — for them. Also, I was made to feel responsible for some of my sister’s problems, which were completely beyond my control.

So, I guess my message to my younger self would be, don’t worry so much about what Mom and Dad think, especially Dad. It’s OK to disappoint them. You do you.

Perfect me with my father and sister on my First Communion day. That dumb veil pinched my head so much.

Books

~ MaryG ~ 22 Comments

Which author would you love to have dinner with?

The two novelists I follow on Instagram are living legends—one American and one Canadian. Ideally, I’d have dinner with both of them and silently listen to them talk to each other.

*Barbara Kingsolver, 71, is an acclaimed American novelist known for works like The Poisonwood Bible, The Bean Trees, and Demon Copperhead, blending rich storytelling with themes of social justice, family, and the environment. She’s the first author to win the Women’s Prize for Fiction twice (for The Lacuna and Demon Copperhead), and Demon Copperhead also earned her the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in 2023.

*Margaret Atwood, 86, is a celebrated Canadian novelist known for works like The Handmaid’s Tale, Cat’s Eye, and Oryx and Crake, blending speculative and dystopian fiction with feminist themes and sharp social commentary. She’s won the Booker Prize twice (for The Blind Assassin and The Testaments) and remains one of the most influential English-language authors of her generation.

(*Bios by Claude)

Speaking of contemporary fiction, I highly recommend Absolution by Alice McDermott.

Really good!

Dance walker

~ MaryG ~ 9 Comments

What’s a moment when a stranger completely restored your faith in people?

Several years ago, I passed a middle-aged woman dance walking on our rail trail. She was dancing with wild abandon while walking for exercise. She was wearing big over-the-ear headphones. I have no idea what she was listening to, but I always imagined it was the BeeGees.

I loved it. I’m not sure why exactly, but I think it had something to do with seeing a woman alone enjoy herself so thoroughly and unselfconsciously.

You don’t realize how rare that is until you see it.

2046

~ MaryG ~ 17 Comments

If your future self could send you one sentence, what do you hope it would say?

I feel like I am my future self. Things are somewhat settled for me. I’m 61, I’m retired, I’m a grandmother, I’m married and I’m going to stay married until one of us dies.

My hopes for the future are all for my kids and grandkids, and for humans in general.

I am beyond horrified at what we’re currently seeing in my country…from the return of measles, to the reversing of the hard won victories of the Civil Rights and Women’s movements, to the alienation of our democratic allies over a wildly ill-conceived war in the Middle East, which is costing us all a shit ton of money and has no end in sight.

I hope 81-year old me can say something like this in 2046:

Dear Mary,

Fear not! After President Trump was found dead on the toilet by his delighted wife, VP Vance was sworn in, but lost in a landslide to President Ocasio-Cortez, who ushered in a new era of democracy, peace, prosperity, equality and optimism, which continues to this day.

Sea to Table

~ MaryG ~ 26 Comments

What’s the best local dish you’ve ever eaten while traveling?

Summer is far and away my favorite season in New England—my lifelong home. I generally stay within its six states in summer. Why leave? I know it’s been very hot here, but I’m a swimmer. Outdoor pools and oceans beckon me. The water temperature at Rhode Island beaches was 70F last weekend. Perfect.

A plate of fresh, farm-raised oysters at Westport Sea Farms in Westport, MA
Jonathan Richman—a Boston original.
He gets it.

OK, if I HAD to rank them, I’d go:

Massachusetts

Rhode Island

Maine

New Hampshire

Vermont

Connecticut

But they’re all great – in the SUMMAH.

Pumpkin spice, stay away!