Personal Musings

That’s a wrap

~ MaryG ~ 15 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What’s a moment in your life that felt like it was straight out of a movie?
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I remember walking around in the airport in Paris—Charles De Gaulle—in December 1985. I was waiting for my flight back to Boston after my semester abroad in Rome. I was listening to my Sony Walkman, which had the songs that had been the soundtrack for the entire semester—Take on Me by A-Ha, Money for Nothing by Dire Straits, 99 Luftballons by the German band Nena.

I was hungover. I was sad. It was the end. Back to America. I knew it was going to be culture shock. So many things had happened that semester—some good, some bad—but all of it was new and exciting. I had traveled through Europe with friends, had a fling with a fellow student who was studying in France, been semi-stalked by an Italian guy, smoked hash and saw Sting perform live, been chased down the street by a very angry nun who was mad I’d let my friend use my roommate’s bed in the convent, been subjected to my first public masturbator (aka “The Jerk”), ordered entire meals in Italian, been awakened on a train by a French security guard who didn’t like my friend’s Filipino passport, got all my clothes destroyed by an Italian laundromat, and seen the most magnificent art and wonders of western civilization from the Mona Lisa to the Colosseum to Pompeii to the Vatican.

Walking through that airport felt like the last scene in a movie—a very 80s movie.

Here I am in Rome in 1985 with my short 80s hair and my friend Scott who was in my program with me. Scott was my close friend Carla’s boyfriend, but she was studying in cold old England for some reason. Girl Code obviously eliminated any chance of a fling with Scott, but he was so cute, right? Look at those legs.

Semiquincentennial

~ MaryG ~ 5 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Go on a walk today and share a photo of something that catches your eye.
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This is the only American flag of any kind that I saw on my walk today, which is weird.

This was near the mailbox of a house that gives MAGA vibes.

I feel like Trump has ruined the nation’s big 250th birthday celebration. Nobody around here is in the mood. Between the fascist arch, the 1.8B slush fund for insurrectionists, skyrocketing fuel & healthcare prices, and the horrific reports from inside the immigrant detention centers, it’s hard to get hyped for the big party.

Related post:

Memories of the Bicentennial

Giant Bubbles & Working Knees

~ MaryG ~ 21 Comments

Further proof for my knee-replacement-considering friends that my husband is truly bouncing back. He made giant bubbles with our granddaughter last Thursday—so ten weeks post op. It was a long damn ten weeks.

You can see that left knee is still a bit swollen and red, but hey…if he can do stuff like this, it’s WAAAY better.
The 6-month post-op right knee looks almost totally normal now except the scar, which isn’t too bad. The knee does “click” a bit when he walks, which is freaky but normal, according to the doctors.

He’s still not completely off the pain meds, but they’ve been put away in a drawer and I think he’ll be able to stop taking them soon. They substituted Tramadol for Oxy and he takes one only at night now. One of the tips he gives others for TKR recovery is to just take the opioids. It’s so damn painful post-op that you will not be able to do your physical therapy without them. And PT is KEY to ending up with a good working knee. And my further tip is to make friends with cannabis. That’s gonna help you need less of the hard stuff.

If you don’t live in a Recreational Weed State, then get your medical license. It’s pretty simple to do in most states. If you live in Idaho, Kansas, Nebraska or Wisconsin, then bummer for you. WTF with those states!

And yes, my granddaughter is completely adorable. She’s even cuter from the front but since my blog is public, I don’t post pics of her face.

GIANT bubbles are cool and honestly, so is my husband. Hate to admit it, but it’s true. (I always wanted to be the cool one.) There were many times when I wished I’d married more of a goody-two-shoes/nerd, but hey….we stuck it out and now we get to be grandparents together. 😊
He chooses to be called NONNO, like my late father-in-law. (That’s Italian for grandfather.) But I did not want to be called Nonna (that’s for old ladies in support hose), so I’m just a good old American GRANDMA 👵

Support parents

~ MaryG ~ 9 Comments
Daily writing prompt
If you had an unlimited budget for 24 hours, what would you do?
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If I had an unlimited budget for 24 hours, I would use it to help support young parents.

We’re making things very hard on all young people these days, but especially on those who are brave, selfless and optimistic enough to bring forth the next generation. They deserve all the love and support we can muster. As a grandmother, I feel this is my #1 job in life.

If I could, I would pay off my daughter’s mortgage, buy her family a new car, and fully fund a college account for my granddaughter. And if I could figure out how to do it, I would help out all the other hardworking and responsible young parents out there who could really use a boost.

All photos by Melissa Briggs Photography.

My granddaughter and me
Bubbles are a favorite activity for one-year olds.
Imagine when everything in the world was new to you.
Hi Mommy!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Changed for Good

~ MaryG ~ 10 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What’s a show that had the perfect series finale?
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I have loved all five seasons of the series Hacks with Jean Smart and Hannah Einbinder and I know the series finale is being released today. I will make a point of watching it as soon as possible so that I don’t accidentally read about it.

In the olden days, you had one shot at seeing the series finale. You had to watch it when it aired—or wait forever for the rerun to come out. Most people didn’t get VCRs until the later 1980s. (And even then, “taping” your show was an unreliable process.)

The series finale I remember being the biggest deal was M*A*S*H—the long running dramedy series set during the Korean War that followed the doctors and staff of a mobile army surgical hospital. The show ran for 11 years. I was a senior in high school when it ended in 1983.

Although I had not watched every episode along the way, I knew the main characters well. I’m pretty sure I sat and watched the finale in real time and probably shed a tear or two.

According to Google, the M*A*S*H finale, titled “Goodbye, Farewell and Amen,” was 2.5 hours long and was one of the most-watched television broadcasts in U.S. history, drawing about 106 million viewers. In 1983, the total population of the US was 234 million people. So literally, half the country watched the M*A*S*H finale.

In case you’ve forgotten the very end (like I had), here’s when Hawkeye and BJ say goodbye.

Even though I haven’t seen the Hacks finale yet, I’m assuming there will be a similarity with M*A*S*H in that two people who have been through some major shit together will deeply understand that they’ve been changed for the better by the other person.

It’s like that song from the musical Wicked says:

Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

Sex and the City redux

~ MaryG ~ 13 Comments

I rewatched the first three seasons of Sex and the City while on my treadmill this winter. (The conclusion of the reboot—And Just Like That—prompted me to go back and relive some of the original.)

Now that treadmill season is thankfully over (we can walk outside here now), here are my random observations on the old show:

The women never ever reference their mothers. It’s like they didn’t have mothers.

Donald Trump is mentioned in the very first episode (which originally aired in 1998) and I decided to carry on rewatching it anyways.

Carrie had a zen teacher. (I had a zen teacher.)

Carrie and Charlotte did partner yoga. (I tried partner yoga once in the 90s and hated it. It put me off all yoga for years.)

When the women go to Connecticut for a baby shower, suburbia is like an uncomfortable foreign land to them with baffling things like “Invisible Fence.” (That one made me laugh, because we got both a dog and an Invisible Fence when we left the city.)

There was reference to having baby names picked out before you were even married or pregnant and “reserving” them with your friends. This was funny because I specifically remember my friend Gail reserving “Justine” when we were teenagers. Also, my friend Susan and I were pregnant at the same time and had a negotiation over the name “Henry” which we both liked. I “gave” it to her because it was her deceased father’s name. (It was also my deceased maternal grandfather’s name, so my son got it for his middle name.) For some reason, it was very important for GenX friends to not give their babies the same names.

There were pre-plane crash references to JFK Jr and Carolyn Bessette, which was interesting because I’m pretty sure Sarah Jessica Parker dated JFK Jr at one point, although I don’t think that was mentioned in Love Story.

That feeling of taking pregnancy tests when you didn’t want to be pregnant—remember that?

Palm Pilots – such a big deal at the time

Smoking cigarettes – aaah

And when the worst thing about Rudy Giuliani was that he cracked down on smoking in NYC…

The guest stars:

Bradley Cooper (played a single, straight smoker)

Will Arnette

Jon Bonjovi

Alanis Morrisette

Vince Vaughn (adorable)

Matthew McConaughy (still no)

Hugh Hefner (soooo creepy, but so mainstream and acceptable in the 90s)

Carrie Fisher (RIP Carrie. Loved her.)

There was definitely some dated and cringy stuff, especially around socio-economic class. But let’s face it, all of that inequality has just gotten worse.

Maybe I’ll go back and watch seasons 4-6 next winter. Or maybe not.

Progress

~ MaryG ~ 24 Comments

Despite continued pain and swelling, my husband is attempting to get on with his life after two total knee replacements, the second of which took place on March 16.

Gardening is something he always liked and is good at. I’m very pro-gardening for him. I think it’s healthy and without the excessive strain and physical danger of his other hobby: powerlifting. (It’s like, you have two artificial knees dude…would you just not.) But as most people in longterm marriages know, you cannot control the other person. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do and you gotta decide if the good outweighs the bad. (You’re free to go, if you’re not into it.)

Therefore, I’m happy to report he planted a bunch of dahlia bulbs, trimmed some shrubs, planted my spur-of-the-moment purchase of a lovely lupine in bloom, bought some clones from the dispensary, and potted up two of them as gifts for our kids. This represents a small but significant return to gardening. Yay!

My new lupine, expertly planted by my husband who got his BS in Botany.
We bought 3 types of clones at our local dispensary’s big plant sale: The Hive (Honey Banana X Papaya), Terpgasm (Sin n Juice X Udder Madness), Tail Dragger (Alligator Wine X Pearl Cadillac)

Don’t you just love the names of weed strains 🤣

Q: Why are weed plants called clones?

A: Weed plants are called “clones” because they are literally exact genetic replicas of a parent plant (called a “mother plant”). Instead of using seeds, growers cut a branch off a thriving plant and encourage it to grow its own roots. 

_______________________

UPDATE: photos of my husband kneeling for my friends considering arthroplasty

Right knee was replaced November 24, 2025
Left knee was replaced March 16, 2026
He says it feels weird to kneel but doesn’t hurt.

Supporting parents over non-parents?

~ MaryG ~ 24 Comments

Sharing financial resources is a zero sum game. Someone’s gain or increase is going to be someone else’s loss.

Do you think parents of adult children have an obligation to financially help the ones with children of their own more than the ones who do not have kids? Or do you think parents should always maintain total equality in the ways they divvy up their support to adult children?

I have been on one end of this dilemma for over 30 years. I’m the one who stayed married and raised a family. My sibling had a lavish wedding (in two locales), but quickly divorced and had no kids. She never found a career she enjoys and is frequently unemployed, despite being very highly educated.

Now I am temporarily (hopefully) on the other end of it. My son currently only has himself to take care of and my daughter is building her family.

Hypothetically, if you had 10K to share at Christmas, would you give each one 5K? Or would you take into account the selflessness and outrageously high cost of raising a child through college and tip the scale towards the parent?

I think maybe you can tell which way I lean, but I know that there are strong counter arguments.

If you’re childless and found out your parents gave your sibling more money than you in their estate plans, how would you feel? Would you feel as if they didn’t value your life as much as theirs? Or would you understand that grandchildren were factored in?

What about an opposite situation, where parents support a single, childless adult daughter more than another one who had the benefit of a husband’s income? Do singles deserve more support than those who married and raised children?

Curious for your thoughts.

N/A

~ MaryG ~ 16 Comments

How do you balance work and home life?

This prompt is N/A (not applicable) to a retired person.

Sometimes I have to wrack my brain to remember what day of the week it is, when I wake up in the morning. As other retirees know well, you want to take advantage of weekdays to do stuff like grocery shopping, when other people are busy at work. I had to learn this lesson the hard way over the past year. I messed-up several times. I specifically remember fighting for a parking spot at Costco in tax-free Nashua on a busy Saturday last year when the lightbulb went on: Why on earth would anyone go to Costco on a weekend unless they had to?

Back when I was working and raising children, work-life balance wasn’t a huge problem for me. I mostly worked as a part-time consultant/contractor, except at the very end of my career when I went full-time. I liked my job a lot and was happy to leave suburbia and go to the city a couple times a week. I especially liked going out to lunch with my work friends, most of whom had no children. It was great to talk about non-mom things with other adults. They couldn’t have cared less about the outcome of travel soccer try-outs or which kids were recommended for Honors Math.

One of the biggest issues for me back then was traffic. Getting back to the suburbs from my Boston office could take over 2 hours on a bad day. It was hell. I got involved in several road rage incidents. I was sometimes late to pick-up my son at his afterschool program.

In conclusion, if the powers that be want to help people have work-life balance they should fix traffic. And retirees should stay the heck out of the way and do their errands at 11am on Wednesday.

The 10 US Cities With the Worst Traffic:
1. New York
2. Chicago
3. Los Angeles
4. BOSTON
5. Philadelphia
6. Miami
7. Houston
8. Atlanta
9. Washington
10. Seattle