Music

Dealing with caterwaulers

~ MaryG ~ 17 Comments

What are your strategies for SEO?

Soprano Enforcement Operations are difficult and delicate.

I’m no professional singer, but I’m a decent amateur choral singer. I’ve been singing in choirs my whole life. I’ve had voice lessons. I can sing high notes well. I can give a choir director what they want.

Also, I love to sing, as do many other people with far less experience than me. So, what to do when one of them feels very happy and confident singing soprano alongside you – very loudly with no real sense of the pitch? The term caterwauling comes to mind. Here are a few strategies:

  1. Appreciate her enthusiasm! She loves to sing, just like you do.
  2. Never, and I mean NEVER, correct another singer in your amateur church or community choir.
  3. You’ll notice the director trying to tamp down the caterwauler, who may or may not catch on. All you can do is MODEL the correct way to sing something and do exactly what the music director asks.
  4. Sing softer and with the best possible technique. The caterwauler will hopefully realize that she’s screeching like a cornered cat and pipe down on her own.
  5. If you have a good ear and a bad ear (like me), position yourself with the caterwauler near your bad ear and the rest of the choir on your good side. (It’s more important to hear them than her.)
  6. Final tip, and this one is a bit risky. Just prior to important soprano entrances, subtly block the ear near the caterwauler (you can pretend you’re scratching your head or adjusting your glasses). That way when the caterwauler blasts in with the wrong note, she won’t throw you off and you can help right the ship.

Highly recommended film for choir ladies (and gents): The Choral on Netflix, starring Ralph Fiennes. I really loved it. My husband (who is not a choir guy) liked it too.

Tell everyone it’s your birthday

~ MaryG ~ 18 Comments

What’s the best way to meet new people while traveling?

I wrote many posts about my trip to Ireland in 2025. I turned 60 on that trip and it was my first ever extended group tour. I think we had 28 people in all, including me and my husband. We were together for about a week.

I was nervous about how I’d like traveling with strangers, but wanted the ease of not driving or needing to book every attraction and meal myself. I researched a lot of tours and chose Rick Steves, largely for the price and the fact that Steves is a well known Trump-hating liberal. I figured the chances of me getting stuck making small talk with some Texan in a red hat were minimal.

It was great. I decided on Day One to be open and friendly and our group had great rapport. Our Irish guide Joe was a deeply intellectual and thoughtful artist type (bit of a tortured soul), but honestly, what better type of person to show you Ireland? When it rained, he played us haunting songs like Fairytale of New York by the Pogues and Grace by Rod Stewart on the bus’ sound system.

That’s Joe on the right paying our tab in a pub in Listowel, County Kerry, Ireland. The other man is the pub owner and son of the famous Irish playwright John B Keane (author of The Field)

I was not shy about jumping in with my questions (like is “paddy” a slur or not? Short answer: yes, but they can use it). Joe teased me—a lot—but that was OK. He needed someone to play off and help him lighten up at times. Plus, it was MY birthday, which I made clear.

Blowing out my 60th birthday candle in Dingle, Ireland

I’ve kept in touch with a few folks from the group, including two sisters from Minnesota who came to Boston, where I met up with them. They gave me credit for our group getting on so well. They said I just came in and announced “it’s my birthday this week and I want everyone to sing to me” and that broke the ice. It turns out there were two other birthday girls on our trip, so we celebrated them too.

So, I’d say go ahead and try a group tour on your next foreign excursion, but do your research about the company you choose. Make sure it matches your personality. And then, don’t be shy. Don’t be obnoxious, but don’t be shy.

Rick Steves Group Tour photo near Gallarus Oratory, Dingle Penninsula, County Kerry 🇮🇪

8647

~ MaryG

The genie grants you a wish. What is it?

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Just to be clear, “86” = impeach and remove from office (preferably to a jail cell). I’m also good with death from natural causes or Melania smothering him with a pillow. I do not condone violence (except for Melania smothering him with a pillow).

Be Best.

Food

~ MaryG ~ 19 Comments

Which relationship has taught you the most about yourself?

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Since food and I have had a good relationship for decades now, I sometimes forget about the early years. In my teens I was was pretty obsessed with being thin. Back then, there was a lot of interest in dramatic cases of eating disorders, especially Karen Carpenter’s death from heart failure due to anorexia nervosa in 1983 (my senior year of high school), but the casual use of Dexatrim (over-the-counter speed), starving yourself and occasional self-induced vomiting was no big deal. All the supermodels had protruding hip bones and thighs that did not touch. That was the goal. I remember a gym teacher talking to me once about being too thin. (I was 5’8” and about 118 pounds.) I thought I looked great. So did my boyfriend.

Thankfully, I mostly quit dieting in college and eventually got into swimming and was a pretty normal eater. I dabbled in vegetarianism, but I ended up consuming so much cheese that it elevated my cholesterol and I also developed lactose intolerance, which thankfully resolved. (Imagine a life without ice cream!) I now take a daily statin to control my high cholesterol, which I blame on my genetics. My parents both take statins, but at 87 and 92 they’re still traveling and eating whatever they want, so I’m not gonna worry about it.

I really love to eat good food now. We have a great relationship. Sometimes I try fancy recipes from the New York Times, but more often I make a few standbys that have like 4 ingredients and always come out great.

One of those is crockpot lemon chicken. A friend of mine once shared this recipe on Facebook and said “this sounds good” —and so it was. I’ve made this recipe dozens, if not hundreds, of times:

Crock Pot Lemon Chicken
Ingredients
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
3–4 large boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into thirds
1/4 cup butter
1 packet Good Seasons Italian dressing/seasoning mix
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
1/2 cup chicken broth
Salt and pepper, to taste


Directions

1.) Rinse the chicken pieces with water, then lightly coat them in flour. Set aside.

2.) Heat 2 tablespoons of butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. When the butter is melted, add half of the flour-coated chicken pieces. Avoid overcrowding the pan; you will cook the chicken in two batches.

3.) Season with salt and pepper. Cook the chicken for 3–4 minutes on each side, or until golden brown. You are not cooking the chicken all the way through at this stage, just creating a golden-brown crust.

4.) Remove the chicken from the skillet and place it in the crock pot.

5.) Add the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter to the skillet. Cook the remaining flour-coated chicken pieces for 3–4 minutes on each side, or until golden brown. Remove the chicken from the skillet and place it in the crock pot.

6.) Sprinkle the Italian dressing/seasoning mix evenly over the chicken.

7.) Pour the fresh lemon juice and chicken broth over the chicken.

I use these packets to make the broth

8.) Cover with the lid and cook on LOW for approximately 3 hours.

My crockpot works as a nonstick skillet too, so it’s literally a one-pot meal for me.

9.) Serve the chicken pieces whole or shredded, topped with the lemon sauce and broth.

Sometimes I serve it on rice. Other times I serve it on cholesterol-free (no yolk) egg noodles

RIP Karen Carpenter. I loved her voice so much. She was one of the greatest altos of all time. If only she hadn’t had such a fraught relationship with food, she would have been 76 now.

Dog karma

~ MaryG ~ 15 Comments

Do you believe in karma?

You know how people always say that you can tell if someone is actually a good person based on how children and dogs feel about them?

Well, I don’t love that, because I’m not a big fan of dogs. Does that make me a bad person? (I’m great with kids, by the way.)

Well, last night, I had an experience that improved my dog karma (I think). There was no actual dog present (yay), but I felt the dog’s spirit.

A wonderful church friend in her 80s had had to put her beloved dog Grace down earlier that day. At choir practice, she told us the meaning behind the dog’s name and a bit about her personality. (Apparently Grace disliked men, but was a peacemaker amongst dogs.) My friend then asked us to sing two different versions of Amazing Grace in honor of Grace the Dog.

It was so moving. I have honestly never heard our choir sing so beautifully. I’ve never sung so beautifully. There were tears, even from one of the men Grace constantly barked at while she was alive.

We sang all three verses of the song over the two renditions, the last one a cappella. Then we silently closed our hymnals and moved on with choir rehearsal.

It was the perfect way to honor a dog.

Image from Pexels

The Boston Masshole

~ MaryG ~ 29 Comments

What’s the most annoying trope in books or movies?

Listen, one thing I know about is Massholes. I grew up with plenty of them. I know when the accent is real.

In movies, they never get it right. Even Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, who grew up in highbrow Cambridge, don’t get it quite right. (Despite that slight flaw, I loved the film Good Will Hunting. It captured one of the key characteristics of Masshole mentality—class awareness. “You think you’re bettah than me cuz you go to Hah-vahd? Well Faaaack you”)

Mark Wahlberg, on the other hand, is an objectively terrible actor, but an authentic Boston Masshole. Did you know he grew up in the infamous South Boston “projects” and was involved in a number of serious racially-motivated assaults and harassment incidents as a teenager in Boston during the mid-1980s? I did! He’s the type of guy I would’ve avoided like the plague in high school.

This is a famous image by Stanley Forman. Titled “The Soiling of Old Glory,” the photo won a Pulitzer Prize for breaking news photography. Forman took the picture on April 5, 1976, for what was then the Boston Herald American. A young white man lunges at a black man (Ted Landsmark) with the sharp point of a flagpole, with the American flag attached.

Well, this is all a long-winded way of saying that I finally saw an authentic portrait of that trope last night. The film Tony about one summer in the life of the late celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain has a great Masshole character played by Leo Woodall. He’s SO good in this. In my opinion, he steals the film, which is largely set on Cape Cod in the summer of 1975. His accent and demeanor are perfect. It just figures that he’s a Brit! He totally nailed his part. GENXers should go see the film for Woodall and the soundtrack (including some classic Jonathan Richman) alone.

Leo Woodall as the Masshole character—a restaurant worker named Sal—in Tony (in theaters now)
Here’s me at a dinner with Ted Landsmark (from the Pulitzer Prize winning photo) in 2013. It was an honor to meet such a distinguished Bostonian.

Dance walker

~ MaryG ~ 9 Comments

What’s a moment when a stranger completely restored your faith in people?

Several years ago, I passed a middle-aged woman dance walking on our rail trail. She was dancing with wild abandon while walking for exercise. She was wearing big over-the-ear headphones. I have no idea what she was listening to, but I always imagined it was the BeeGees.

I loved it. I’m not sure why exactly, but I think it had something to do with seeing a woman alone enjoy herself so thoroughly and unselfconsciously.

You don’t realize how rare that is until you see it.

Sea to Table

~ MaryG ~ 24 Comments

What’s the best local dish you’ve ever eaten while traveling?

Summer is far and away my favorite season in New England—my lifelong home. I generally stay within its six states in summer. Why leave? I know it’s been very hot here, but I’m a swimmer. Outdoor pools and oceans beckon me. The water temperature at Rhode Island beaches was 70F last weekend. Perfect.

A plate of fresh, farm-raised oysters at Westport Sea Farms in Westport, MA
Jonathan Richman—a Boston original.
He gets it.

OK, if I HAD to rank them, I’d go:

Massachusetts

Rhode Island

Maine

New Hampshire

Vermont

Connecticut

But they’re all great – in the SUMMAH.

Pumpkin spice, stay away!

Do-Re-Mi

~ MaryG ~ 24 Comments

What’s a skill you consider basic, that most people don’t actually know how to do?

So many people say they “can’t sing” and it bugs me. Everyone CAN sing, but not everyone can sing in tune. My mother is a non-singer. She said she’s so bad at it that she was told to “mouth the words” to her sorority song, so as not to be heard by whatever audience listened to sorority girls sing songs in the 1950s. I’ve literally never heard her sing.

My husband can’t read music or play an instrument but he can sing — in tune. He will do karaoke in a pinch, if required. I think it’s because he listens to a lot of music and sings or hums along.

That is honestly the best way to learn to sing: Sing or hum along with music you like.

If you can’t find a song you like, then sing this one. It’s the classic.

Julie Andrews taught me

Imagine a world where nobody ever says “I can’t sing,” but instead just joins in with everyone else, I think it might actually fix all our problems.

Obama sings Amazing Grace

Happy Fourth

~ MaryG ~ 18 Comments

Like nearly every American of good conscience, I have mixed feelings this Fourth of July. The promise of America is faltering under the most corrupt and despicable administration in our 250 year history. The upcoming midterm elections will hopefully spark some sort of a course correction.

In the meantime, there are children and grandchildren; national parks and beaches; fresh cherries and watermelon to be thankful for.

This land was made for you and me.

Here’s a “Cherry Clafoutis” I made with delicious fresh cherries yesterday.

This is a fairly simple and absolutely delicious use of fresh cherries. We got a cherry pitter to make it even easier.

Here’s the recipe from NYT Cooking.

I substituted Licor 43 (vanilla liqueur from Spain) for Kirsch (cherry brandy) in the recipe. And no I didn’t “scrape a vanilla bean” into the cherries—that step was a bit much!