Exciting news! A question has been answered:

And the answer is:

Yup, that’s right. I’m going to have another granddaughter and I’m thrilled.

There’s a new show on Apple TV called Margo’s Got Money Troubles and it’s really got me thinking about grandparents and the many different ways people inhabit that role.

We tend to think of grandmas as kindly, white-haired ladies that bake stuff and give you socks for Christmas. That’s pretty much how I think of my grandmothers. Both were widows for decades after their husbands died. (I never knew a grandfather) and both were wonderful, but very typical grandmothers to me and my sister. Interestingly, both played a very different role for my cousins (two sets of cousins on opposite sides of the family). One set of cousins lost their mother to breast cancer when they were tiny, so my grandmother (my mother’s mother) became their second parent. She moved in with them, cooked for them, taught them to read, etc. And my father’s mother did the same thing, but for a different reason. In that case, it was because my aunt and uncle worked 24/7 at their grocery store. It was a family business that required them to be gone all day long, so my grandmother did all their cooking, cleaning and childcare until my cousins were grown.

So, one woman can be two different “types” of grandmother, depending on the circumstances of her adult children.

In the show, Michelle Pfeiffer (age 68, but looks younger) becomes a grandmother unexpectedly after her daughter (played by Elle Fanning, age 28) gets pregnant accidentally in college—via her lit professor—and decides to keep the baby. Michelle Pfieffer’s character has been a single mom and Hooters waitress who had hoped her daughter would have a better life. She’s about as far as you can get from the white-haired, baking stereotypical Grandma.

There are other great characters of my generation in this show. Nick Offerman (age 56) plays Elle Fanning’s biological father, who was not around at all while she was growing up, but appears on the scene straight out of rehab. He’s a former pro wrestler who may or may not have been Michelle Pfeiffer’s one true love. He needs a place to stay and ends up moving in with his daughter and helps care for his grandson, while his daughter tries to make some money for them to live on. (Enter “Only Fans”) Offerman is SO good in this unique role. I’ve really never seen a grandfather presented in this way.

And then there’s Greg Kinnear (age 63). He plays the guy Michelle Pfeiffer is planning to marry. He’s a stable, kind, quiet churchgoer who devoted his entire life to his parents, until they died. Michelle Pfeiffer is his first girlfriend – ever. Kinnear is also terrific in his role. He turns what could have been a silly joke of a man (a Mamma’s Boy extraordinaire) into someone understated and complex. I’m actually really rooting for him too.

In any case, there are many different ways people become grandparents and fulfill the role. I really had no idea how I would fulfill the role before my granddaughter was born. How much would I be needed? Or wanted?

One online resource I wish I’d discovered earlier is: More Than Grand. (Yes, they are trying to selling you some products, but the advice delivered through their social media posts and blog is very solid and helpful.)

Finally, if you’re not following Red’s Wrap here on WordPress, you’re missing out on a fantastic writer. Jan is a REAL writer (unlike me). She will touch your heart in a way similar to great talents like Anne Lamott. Tragically, Jan lost an adult daughter to a heart defect recently and is now caring for a 4-year old granddaughter in her late 70s.

So many different ways women are fulfilling the role…