If I had an unlimited budget for 24 hours, I would use it to help support young parents.
We’re making things very hard on all young people these days, but especially on those who are brave, selfless and optimistic enough to bring forth the next generation. They deserve all the love and support we can muster. As a grandmother, I feel this is my #1 job in life.
If I could, I would pay off my daughter’s mortgage, buy her family a new car, and fully fund a college account for my granddaughter. And if I could figure out how to do it, I would help out all the other hardworking and responsible young parents out there who could really use a boost.
All photos by Melissa Briggs Photography.
My granddaughter and me
Bubbles are a favorite activity for one-year olds.
Imagine when everything in the world was new to you.
Despite continued pain and swelling, my husband is attempting to get on with his life after two total knee replacements, the second of which took place on March 16.
Gardening is something he always liked and is good at. I’m very pro-gardening for him. I think it’s healthy and without the excessive strain and physical danger of his other hobby: powerlifting. (It’s like, you have two artificial knees dude…would you just not.) But as most people in longterm marriages know, you cannot control the other person. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do and you gotta decide if the good outweighs the bad. (You’re free to go, if you’re not into it.)
Therefore, I’m happy to report he planted a bunch of dahlia bulbs, trimmed some shrubs, planted my spur-of-the-moment purchase of a lovely lupine in bloom, bought some clones from the dispensary, and potted up two of them as gifts for our kids. This represents a small but significant return to gardening. Yay!
My new lupine, expertly planted by my husband who got his BS in Botany.
We bought 3 types of clones at our local dispensary’s big plant sale: The Hive (Honey Banana X Papaya), Terpgasm (Sin n Juice X Udder Madness), Tail Dragger (Alligator Wine X Pearl Cadillac)
Don’t you just love the names of weed strains 🤣
Q: Why are weed plants called clones?
A: Weed plants are called “clones” because they are literally exact genetic replicas of a parent plant (called a “mother plant”). Instead of using seeds, growers cut a branch off a thriving plant and encourage it to grow its own roots.
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UPDATE: photos of my husband kneeling for my friends considering arthroplasty
Right knee was replaced November 24, 2025Left knee was replaced March 16, 2026He says it feels weird to kneel but doesn’t hurt.
Sharing financial resources is a zero sum game. Someone’s gain or increase is going to be someone else’s loss.
Do you think parents of adult children have an obligation to financially help the ones with children of their own more than the ones who do not have kids? Or do you think parents should always maintain total equality in the ways they divvy up their support to adult children?
I have been on one end of this dilemma for over 30 years. I’m the one who stayed married and raised a family. My sibling had a lavish wedding (in two locales), but quickly divorced and had no kids. She never found a career she enjoys and is frequently unemployed, despite being very highly educated.
Now I am temporarily (hopefully) on the other end of it. My son currently only has himself to take care of and my daughter is building her family.
Hypothetically, if you had 10K to share at Christmas, would you give each one 5K? Or would you take into account the selflessness and outrageously high cost of raising a child through college and tip the scale towards the parent?
I think maybe you can tell which way I lean, but I know that there are strong counter arguments.
If you’re childless and found out your parents gave your sibling more money than you in their estate plans, how would you feel? Would you feel as if they didn’t value your life as much as theirs? Or would you understand that grandchildren were factored in?
What about an opposite situation, where parents support a single, childless adult daughter more than another one who had the benefit of a husband’s income? Do singles deserve more support than those who married and raised children?
This prompt is N/A (not applicable) to a retired person.
Sometimes I have to wrack my brain to remember what day of the week it is, when I wake up in the morning. As other retirees know well, you want to take advantage of weekdays to do stuff like grocery shopping, when other people are busy at work. I had to learn this lesson the hard way over the past year. I messed-up several times. I specifically remember fighting for a parking spot at Costco in tax-free Nashua on a busy Saturday last year when the lightbulb went on: Why on earth would anyone go to Costco on a weekend unless they had to?
Back when I was working and raising children, work-life balance wasn’t a huge problem for me. I mostly worked as a part-time consultant/contractor, except at the very end of my career when I went full-time. I liked my job a lot and was happy to leave suburbia and go to the city a couple times a week. I especially liked going out to lunch with my work friends, most of whom had no children. It was great to talk about non-mom things with other adults. They couldn’t have cared less about the outcome of travel soccer try-outs or which kids were recommended for Honors Math.
One of the biggest issues for me back then was traffic. Getting back to the suburbs from my Boston office could take over 2 hours on a bad day. It was hell. I got involved in several road rage incidents. I was sometimes late to pick-up my son at his afterschool program.
In conclusion, if the powers that be want to help people have work-life balance they should fix traffic. And retirees should stay the heck out of the way and do their errands at 11am on Wednesday.
The 10 US Cities With the Worst Traffic: 1. New York 2. Chicago 3. Los Angeles 4. BOSTON 5. Philadelphia 6. Miami 7. Houston 8. Atlanta 9. Washington 10. Seattle
Veering into dangerous, personal, none-of-my-business territory here…
I know very well how difficult life is for young people these days. Truly unaffordable for many—especially those with debt. Combined with global warming, gun violence, rising authoritarianism, and a million other things, there are many excellent reasons to not procreate. I get it.
Also, some are not blessed with good enough health and/or a supportive partner in the child bearing years—two excellent reasons to remain childless.
BUT, I will say (and did say to my nephew and his fiancé), life is short, but it can also be looooong. You might live to be 90+ like my parents. That’s 50 years beyond 40! That’s a long damn time to not have children, and therefore grandchildren, and even great grandchildren.
My nephew’s response was that you can’t have “just one baby,” so therefore they aren’t going to have any kids. This rationale is misguided in my opinion. I think only children are wonderful. Many GenXers had just one child and they’re great. Three-person families are fantastic. My book group was comprised of all women with just one awesome daughter (until I changed my mind and had a second child later in life). I love my son beyond words, but if I’d never had him, we’d be a happy family regardless. No sibling rivalry or fights and more disposable income. We probably would’ve taken a friend on vacation with us, so my daughter would’ve always had someone to play with.
And let’s face it, adult siblings are a mixed bag. Some get along. Many do not. And things can get complicated when parents get old and die, if the siblings are not on the same page. In some ways, one supportive, well-adjusted adult child is better than two or more who do not get along.
So yes, you CAN have just one child. And if you choose to remain childless, that’s fine. We love you still. But please do not compare your dog (or cat or goldfish) to our kids and grandkids. It’s really not the same. Like…at all.
My son has been out of the house for a year now. He moved into his first apartment with friends, this time last year. Because he did a year of “pre-first” grade, he was 19 years old when he graduated high school, 23 when he graduated college, and 24 when he moved out on his own. I thought that was late, but many of his friends were still living at home. (“Saving money” was the usual reason.)
I gave both of my kids a nudge out the door. Not that I wasn’t going to miss them, but I just feel like you can’t fully become an adult, until you live out in the world on your own. To be clear, I did not want my kids to move to a different state. I wanted them nearby, but independent (with roommates their own age).
Being in your twenties is fun, but it’s also hard. A lot gets decided then. Career choices, romantic partnerships, work-life balance, health/fitness habits, etc. Once I left my parents’ house at age 22, I never moved back in. If I had needed to, I could have, but I’m glad I never did. In addition to independence, I think it gives people motivation. You don’t really know what you value and want most in life until you’re paying all your own bills.
I recently helped my son get a primary care doctor and he actually went to see her for a check-up. His dentist’s office bugs him to get his teeth cleaned every six months, so that’s off my list. He filed his state & federal tax returns on his own (motivated entirely by a potential refund – which he got)
I think if they can possibly afford to live on their own, give them the boot (in a nice way).
My son hit the road to the big city on April 1, 2025. First Major Adulting Hurdle: renting, driving, and parking a UHaul in Boston. ✅
Two good things have happened in my family recently. My daughter’s partner is now my official son-in-law. They tied the knot on their own at the Town Hall. I’m a little bit disappointed that I wasn’t there, but hey, at least I got a picture. My son-in-law is a good and kind person and a wonderful Girl Dad to my granddaughter. He’s also tall and good looking (never hurts).
Let’s face it, weddings are fun, but some young people and their parents spend (waste?) ridiculous amounts of money on them. Personally, I was a lifelong believer in the Princess Bride fantasy and had a traditional wedding (paid for by my parents). I think I’ve cracked open our wedding album about three times in 33 years. And I’ve never watched my wedding video. So the fact that my daughter totally skipped out on feeding “the wedding-industrial conplex” (as my friend calls the wedding biz) is OK by me.
The other good thing is that my son landed a new, better job within his company. And the really good news is that he doesn’t have to move out of state to take it! I really like his company and they seem to really like him. He started there as an intern after his junior year of college. They know him quite well and they truly seem to care about their employees. Perhaps it’s because they’re based in Sweden, where people’s happiness actually matters to employers.
I’m proud of my kids! There. I said it. I find it super annoying when people brag about their adult children on Facebook, but hey—it’s my blog and I’ll brag if I want to 😉
My son’s company sends all employees to Sweden for orientation during their first year. Now I want to go to Sweden!
Coincidentally, I’m LX too—same as the Super Bowl.
Last night was a bummer for Pats fans, but hey…nobody ever expected them to make it to the Super Bowl this year. It’s just too bad they were never really in the game. Husband disappointed, but not crushed.
On the bright side, Bad Bunny was awesome. I closed the activity ring on my Apple Watch dancing along. No, I didn’t understand most of the Spanish, but I liked the vibe. My favorite part was the ending where they came dancing straight towards the camera flying all the flags of the Americas.
“The only thing more powerful than hate is love” was the message on the screen above the flags.
It definitely felt like a big F U to Trump and ICE and all that they represent—white nationalism, hate, fear.
I took my family to Puerto Rico in 2016, because I really wanted to see it. We liked it a lot. Ahead of that trip, I tried to learn some Spanish with an online language learning program through my library. I gained a lot of words, but no real fluency. I did the same thing before a trip to Mexico.
Bad Bunny made me want to give it another shot at some point.
My kids and me on a street in San Juan in 2016
A very hot kitty resting in a tree trunk in Old San Juan in the summer of 2016
A stop on the way to El Yunque National Rainforest in Puerto Rico
Final thought: Brandi Carlile did a beautiful version of America the Beautiful—it would make a much better national anthem.
Have you ever received a casual invitation that was likely not meant sincerely? You know, something like “you should come visit sometime”? Welp, I got one of those once and I decided to take the person up on it.
My husband’s cousin (an interior designer) and his husband (an investment firm VP) live in a very fancy Manhattan coop in Murray Hill. We saw them at a family gathering in Massachusetts in 2008 and they “encouraged” us to visit. Looking back now, I really don’t think they meant it. They were childless city folk and we had young kids.
Anyway, I reached out that summer because my friend and I wanted to go to NYC to see Legally Blonde on Broadway with our daughters and get this—they offered us their apartment for the weekend! They were going to be at their “country home” the weekend we were coming, but said we could stay in their city place by ourselves.
We couldn’t believe their place. First of all, it was HUGE. Second, it was decorated in the least kid-friendly way imaginable. There was glass everywhere, Nothing was left out on any surface, everything was completely smooth. There were sculptures (mostly of gorgeous male bodies) on pedestals that would have been deadly if knocked over.
It was actually comical. We were so afraid of breaking anything that we barely moved! At one point, I remember hunting for a coffee maker in their exquisite, smooth-surfaced kitchen (a note said it was in “the appliance garage”) but then just giving up and going out for coffee.
This interior hallway door gives you the vibe of the place—smooth, orderly and very adult.
The huge living room/dining room area
Sculptures on display
A bathroom
The girls sitting very carefully in the HUGE living room (remember this is in midtown Manhattan)
The smooth and baffling kitchen where I couldn’t figure out how to make coffee
Getting cast autographs after Legally Blonde
A fun weekend—and we left that apartment just as we found it. Nothing broken 😅
I realize I’m not using Dan’s Thursday’s Doors in the usual way. I search my photo file for “door” and some door pops up that prompts a memory.
Check out the other cool doors here or just search for posts tagged Thursday Doors.
In case you haven’t heard, a major winter storm is coming—the likes of which we haven’t seen around here since 2022.
It’s currently 1 degree Fahrenheit and the grocery stores will be packed today with everyone trying to stock up before the snow starts tomorrow around noon. (At this point, I’m still planning to go to church tomorrow morning.) People in non-snow climates: the idea of being stuck inside with your loved ones for 24-48 hours tends to make people buy eggs, milk, bread and firewood like they’re going out of style.
A shared memory for GenXers from Massachusetts is the Bizzard of ‘78, when they cancelled school for like a whole week. It was awesome. People remember jumping off their roofs into huge snowbanks, bumper skiing (when you hold onto your friend’s bumper and they pull you down the snow covered street), and building giant holes and igloos which could’ve collapsed and suffocated their occupants at any moment. There were surprisingly few snow accidents, although one friend’s brother was very seriously injured by a plow that didn’t see him playing in a snow bank. Stay OUT OF THE WAY of the plows, people!
My doll and me tasting the snow in February 1969
The famous Blizzard of 1978 brought us like 4 feet of snow and no school for days on end.
In 1978, 7th graders were far too cool for snow pants, so we just wore jeans to play in the snow.
My son on a huge snowbank in APRIL 2005 – the “April Fools Day” storm
My kids shoveling out a car after Winter Storm Nemo (aka the Blizzard of 2013)
And the stairs
My son “swimming” in the snow in January 2015. He was determined to make it out to his basketball hoop after Hurricane Juno.
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