“We Don’t Want Kids”

~ MaryG

Veering into dangerous, personal, none-of-my-business territory here…

I know very well how difficult life is for young people these days. Truly unaffordable for many—especially those with debt. Combined with global warming, gun violence, rising authoritarianism, and a million other things, there are many excellent reasons to not procreate. I get it.

Also, some are not blessed with good enough health and/or a supportive partner in the child bearing years—two excellent reasons to remain childless.

BUT, I will say (and did say to my nephew and his fiancé), life is short, but it can also be looooong. You might live to be 90+ like my parents. That’s 50 years beyond 40! That’s a long damn time to not have children, and therefore grandchildren, and even great grandchildren.

My nephew’s response was that you can’t have “just one baby,” so therefore they aren’t going to have any kids. This rationale is misguided in my opinion. I think only children are wonderful. Many GenXers had just one child and they’re great. Three-person families are fantastic. My book group was comprised of all women with just one awesome daughter (until I changed my mind and had a second child later in life). I love my son beyond words, but if I’d never had him, we’d be a happy family regardless. No sibling rivalry or fights and more disposable income. We probably would’ve taken a friend on vacation with us, so my daughter would’ve always had someone to play with.

And let’s face it, adult siblings are a mixed bag. Some get along. Many do not. And things can get complicated when parents get old and die, if the siblings are not on the same page. In some ways, one supportive, well-adjusted adult child is better than two or more who do not get along.

So yes, you CAN have just one child. And if you choose to remain childless, that’s fine. We love you still. But please do not compare your dog (or cat or goldfish) to our kids and grandkids. It’s really not the same. Like…at all.

9 thoughts on ““We Don’t Want Kids””

  1. I get your sentiments 100%. Children are truly a blessing, now that I have a partner worth procreating with, let’s see! I’m glad that you acknowledged all the reasons why people should not have a child yet too as the world doesn’t need anymore struggling broken homes, and abandoned/neglected children.

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  2. I agree with all of your reasoning points, and I have only one child. To think I’d have not had him simply because he’s an only child is so absurd that I can’t come up with a metaphor.

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    1. It’s really so misguided—this idea that you’d “owe” your baby a sibling. I love reading about your terrific relationship with your son on your blog. I’ve honestly never met an only child that didn’t turn out great.

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    1. Totally agree. And it’s hard to explain in words to prospective parents what they’ll be missing, if they opt out. It’s like you’re either a parent or you’re not…the number of children doesn’t matter.

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