Catholic Church

God questions

~ MaryG ~ 22 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Do you think everything happens for a reason?
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I feel like this is low-key one of the “God questions.” It’s not directly asking if you believe in God, but who else is providing the “reasons,” if not God?

It’s hard to imagine there could be any conceivable “reason” for the awful things that happen in this world. Here in Massachusetts, we are dealing with daily gruesome reporting on the Lindsay Clancy trial—the labor & delivery nurse who strangled all 3 of her young children and then attempted suicide by jumping out a window in a state of post-partum psychosis, while her husband was out picking up dinner. He came home to find his wife paralyzed on the front lawn and all three of his children in the basement with exercise bands wrapped around their necks. What possible reason?

When my own three cousins were tiny (under 5), their mother (my aunt) found a lump in her breast and then died of breast cancer at age 30. I had prayed so hard to Catholic God for her to live. But Catholic God decided she should die. And, at her funeral, Catholic priest implied God had a good reason for “calling her home” to Him early. I’m pretty sure that was the exact moment I quit believing in the Catholic Church and its God.

So no, I don’t think “everything happens for a reason.” Some things are just horrible misfortunes that nobody deserves.

My aunt Betsy (far left) holding one of her children. She died a year or so later.

Angela’s Ashes

~ MaryG ~ 20 Comments

What’s a piece of media (book, movie, song) that changed how you see the world?

Weirdly the book that’s coming to mind is Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt, which came out in 1996 and won a Pulitzer. It seemed that everyone read it at the same time.

It’s a memoir of McCourt’s desperately impoverished childhood in Limerick, Ireland, after his family returned from Brooklyn. It follows young Frank navigating alcoholism, death, hunger, and humiliation, centered on his father’s chronic drunkenness and his resilient mother Angela.

McCourt was the same generation as my parents—born in the 1930s. Their parents were also poor Catholic immigrants, including some from Ireland to Brooklyn like McCourt.

I still think of that book when people talk about income inequality, tenements, an alcoholic father, or “food insecurity” (aka starvation) in a country of plenty.

I know they made a film out of it, but it’s the book that stayed with me.

You do you

~ MaryG ~ 18 Comments

What is something you wish you could tell your 20-year-old self?

You are not responsible for your sister’s problems. That’s on them. Distance yourself from the dysfunction—now. Pay attention to your own feelings.

Lose the Catholic Guilt. In fact, just bag the Catholic Church church now. You were never really Catholic. You’re a Unitarian Universalist.

I know you think you couldn’t dislike any politician more than Ronald Reagan, but someone so sickening will arise in 30 years, you’re not going to believe it. Pay attention to the seeds of that catastrophe being planted now. Fight them. Observe and use your privilege.

“Welfare Queens” aren’t real.

They’re gonna legalize weed right around the same time as the catastrophe, which will be helpful. Yup, you can just walk in and buy it! And you won’t have to worry that it’s laced with anything.

Go see The Cure live.

First Communion

~ MaryG ~ 11 Comments

I’m continuing to selectively digitize my old photos and I bring you a comparison of the two methods: iPhone photo vs PhotoScan by Google.

iPhone photo of an old print
PhotoScan by Google of the same picture
iPhone photo
PhotoScan by Google

Let me know if you have thoughts about which method is better quality, because it’s too much work to do both.

Because most of these photos are stuck in the old adhesive style photo albums, I’m having to pry them out if I want to see what (if anything) is written on the back. Then I’m stuck with a loose photo that I’ve been taping back into place with painter’s tape.

The photos above were taken on my “First Communion” day in April 1973. Despite my previously described love of veils, I remember I did not like that one. It was attached to a very uncomfortable headband that squeezed my head painfully. Perhaps this was a sign of the rocky road ahead for me and the Catholic Church.

Other than the painful headband, I remember getting some religious-themed presents (a Bible locket, an angel) and being made to feel quite special with a family party after the main event at the church.

I think we look like a real mid-century Italian-American family in these photos, but my dad is no Tony Soprano. He loved his mother (my long-widowed “Grammy”) dearly and she worshipped him. He was far and away her favorite child. As the only boy in an Italian family, he was extra special and he took great care of her until her death in 1992, just a month short of her 90th birthday.

Your tone

~ MaryG ~ 19 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Do you remember life before the internet?
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As one of the oldest GenXers, I’ve had the internet for just about half of my life, so I remember pre-internet life quite well.

The turning point was around the time I got married—in 1993. I planned the entire wedding and honeymoon without the internet. Imagine that. I had books, a work friend who loved weddings, Bride magazine, a landline, and my mother as my main resources.

As a courtesy to my mother, I called my childhood Catholic church to inquire about getting married there. At that time, my future husband and I were already living together, which is considered to be “the sin of adultery” in the Catholic Church. The fact that we were cohabitating was clear from the greeting on our answering machine.

Well, the very sound of the priest’s condescending voice on my answering machine when he returned my call sent me straight to the Unitarian church down the street. And that’s where we ended up getting married.

Before the internet, the human voice and all its various inflections, mattered more than they do now. There were no emojis, only “your tone” — and I did not like Father Sheehan’s tone.

Image from Pexels

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I’d rather laugh with the sinners