God questions

~ MaryG
Daily writing prompt
Do you think everything happens for a reason?
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I feel like this is low-key one of the “God questions.” It’s not directly asking if you believe in God, but who else is providing the “reasons,” if not God?

It’s hard to imagine there could be any conceivable “reason” for the awful things that happen in this world. Here in Massachusetts, we are dealing with daily gruesome reporting on the Lindsay Clancy trial—the labor & delivery nurse who strangled all 3 of her young children and then attempted suicide by jumping out a window in a state of post-partum psychosis, while her husband was out picking up dinner. He came home to find his wife paralyzed on the front lawn and all three of his children in the basement with exercise bands wrapped around their necks. What possible reason?

When my own three cousins were tiny (under 5), their mother (my aunt) found a lump in her breast and then died of breast cancer at age 30. I had prayed so hard to Catholic God for her to live. But Catholic God decided she should die. And, at her funeral, Catholic priest implied God had a good reason for “calling her home” to Him early. I’m pretty sure that was the exact moment I quit believing in the Catholic Church and its God.

So no, I don’t think “everything happens for a reason.” Some things are just horrible misfortunes that nobody deserves.

My aunt Betsy (far left) holding one of her children. She died a year or so later.

18 thoughts on “God questions”

  1. I’m totally with you. My mother was a very spiritual woman and believed in God/fate/karma. Thought everything was preordained and happened for a reason. The plan was in motion and she just went with the flow. That always bothered me as she rarely took responsibility for anything. The night my father died I was 14. It happened quickly at home and a pastor arrived with the local EMTs. He consoled my mother but I fled to my room. He followed me, sat on the edge of the bed and told me how my father was in a better place and his passing was actually a good thing. I strongly disagreed and asked him to leave. The good thing would have been being able to grow up with a father and have him know me as an adult, meet my husband. I know the pastor meant well, but it’s not what I needed to hear. Terrible things happen. For no good reason. Life is a crapshoot. I’ve always believed the road we’re on is a path but we have to choose when and where to turn.

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    1. Gosh, another thing we have in common. I’d just turned 11 when my father died instantly in our living room, while everyone was watching Dallas. Luckily, since we’d never been involved in a church, no one right then told me that it was for a good reason. For the rest of my life, though, they did. As my young niece suffered her life away in hospital after hospital then died, as my sister killed herself, as my mom’s second husband died of pancreatic cancer, as my mom died with dementia in my arms. If there is a God, I have a beef with him for sure.

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      4. I know they think they’re helping, but why would anyone believe losing a loved one is a good thing? It’s horrible and gut wrenching and life altering… and I’d much rather have someone grieve with me than issue all those useless platitudes.

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  2. My mother has similar vibes as yours. Very frustrating sometimes.

    I am so very sorry for the traumatic sudden loss of your father at such a tender age. And that your pastor said such a dumb thing in the moment. You should’ve had a dad in your life for MUCH longer. My cousins don’t really remember their mother, but you must have felt the loss so profoundly at that age. 💔

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    1. I did. And the sad thing was we were much closer than me and my mom. When he died she fell apart and started drinking to cope. Long ugly story, but I always felt like I lost both parents that night.
      😰

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  3. The “everything happens for a reason” stuff is cool when you are discussing small scale things like not getting into the school you wanted or the job you wanted but when it comes to death, and especially very young people dying, there’s absolutely no band-aid words that can rationalize it.

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    1. So true CJ. And those type of “band-aid words” are offensive to the survivors. I know I’ve fucked-up myself a few times, trying to say something upbeat to people who are grieving something that shouldn’t have happened.

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      1. Same. It’s so hard to know what the right words are. Everything happens for a reason, in death though, not cool.

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  4. This is an incredibly deep topic. I talked in my response about how a master plan eliminates the possibility of free will. That’s something I have a hard time with.

    And I think that the whole “God works in mysterious ways“ is the most ridiculous cop out I’ve ever heard

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    1. I think many people have a strong belief in God and also that man has free will. (That’s where morality comes in.)

      Like CJ said above, the “mysterious ways” type comment might be OK for comforting someone on something like a job loss, but not for a true catastrophe like a premature death.

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  6. Totally get where you are with this. I refuse to swear on the bible, state I am irreligious, yet paradoxically live by the ten commandments. Yet, some things do happen for a reason. Why else are we led to follow certain paths by forces we can’t even acknowledge? It’s too much of a biggie for me to comprehend and to be honest, I’ve stopped trying.

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