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I’ve got a fairly long and hard to pronounce last name, but if my last name were Smith, I’d go with something more exciting than Mary for my first name.
Marina?
Marissa?
Melissa?
Melody?
Melanie?
Melania
First name upgrade
Trump
Permanent damage
I had a fear that I was never going to be able to get past knowing that certain people in my family had supported Trump for President in 2016 and 2020. When Trump finally lost in 2020 (after multiple days of waffling by the networks), I thought I’d be able to put that knowledge behind me, but then the insurrection happened and they did not condemn it.
When Biden was finally sworn in, I tried to “get over it.” For a while, I did. I never dreamed the GOP would nominate Trump again in 2024, but apparently that’s exactly what’s going to happen next month (despite the fact that Trump is now a convicted felon).
My feelings of anger towards these family members is back and now I feel they are truly permanent. I don’t think I will overcome them.
It’s sad that a once-in-a-lifetime con man and demagogue has torn apart so many perfectly good relationships. To me, supporting the new MAGA GOP is not a matter of right vs left, but right vs wrong.
Friends
Now that I’m 55+ and have lost several friends my own age to cancer and addiction, I am not picky. I like all my old friends. If I’m in touch with them at all at this point in my life, it means there was/is a real connection there.
In making new friends, I gravitate to people who both listen and talk. And obviously, no MAGA. That’s a deal-breaker.
Preaching to the choir
“Disagree” is not the right word (far too mild), but I feel I might be preaching to the choir here on WordPress. (As a longtime church choir member, I love that expression.)
Perhaps I’ll see what a (free) AI image generator can do with my intense feelings.
Perps in Prison. Jerks in Jail. Dirty Old Men. Power Pervs. Catch & Chill (suggestions welcomed)
I vote so we can keep it
National, statewide and local elections are all important. I always vote. I have a couple of friends who are very involved in town affairs. Sometimes I reach out to them before local elections. They advise me on who to vote for, when I’m unfamiliar with the candidates. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you have friends who share your values, you can ask them how to vote.
On the federal level in the United States, it’s all on the line in November. For those who missed the exceedingly well-researched TIME magazine cover story on how far Trump would go in a second term, here it is.
I hope voter turnout in November is huge and that people don’t waste their votes on third party candidates (or that creepy Kennedy who hates vaccines). Yes, Joe Biden is very old, but he’s the only candidate with a realistic chance of preventing an “imperial presidency that would reshape America and its role in the world.”
On September 17, 1787, at the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia, Benjamin Franklin was 81 years old and in terrible pain from gout and kidney stones. After hashing it out for more than two weeks (seven hours per day), he finally convinced thirty-nine convention delegates to sign the Constitution of the United States, with just three delegates refusing. (It would still need to be ratified by the states.)
At the end of the day, they all went out to dinner at the City Tavern in Philly. Delegate McHenry (Maryland) wrote a diary entry describing a conversation between Franklin and Elizabeth Willing Powel who said, “Well, Doctor, what have we got, a republic or a monarchy?” Benjamin Franklin responded:
“A republic, if you can keep it.”
Source
Independence Hall, Philadelphia, where both the Declaration of Independence (1776) and the Constitution of the United States (1787) were signed
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Nonfiction
I feel productive when I finish a nonfiction book. Not a memoir mind you, but a real nonfiction book about history or ideas. I’m a fan of novels, so reading nonfiction feels a bit like school—a completed assignment.
Recently, I finished The Persuaders—a NYT bestseller by the American journalist Anand Giridharadas. It’s been on my list for a long time due to recommendations from friends who are more serious activists than me. I wouldn’t say I loved it, but it gave me some things to think about.
In 2022, I read a nonfiction book by the American journalist Mark Leibovich, who now writes for The Atlantic. Leibo is actually an old friend of mine from my post-college party years so I tend to read his stuff. I think he’s hysterical. I enjoyed every single word of his bestseller Thank You for Your Servitude: Donald Trump’s Washington and the Price of Submission. Highly recommend. It was an amazing poolside read. Even better with wine.
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Zeitgeist
I like talking about the zeitgeist—current events and popular culture (especially movies and TV). I also love talking about books with my book group and music with my choir peeps. I enjoy hearing about people’s travels (to a point). I’m not a big sports fan, but if a Boston team is in the playoffs, I like to know what’s happening with that. Go Celtics ☘️! (and Bruins, I guess)
And as anyone who follows my blog knows, I despise Trump with a deep, burning, crimson hatred I’ve never felt for any other public figure in my lifetime, so I’m always up for any conversation which involves trashing him.
Am I the only one with a sign like this on display in my kitchen for the past 8 years?
Nervous about November
How on earth is a disgraced, twice-impeached, 4X-indicted, racist, gun culture-supporting, coup d’état-attempting grifter and rapist the GOP’s choice for President of the United States in the next election?
And worst of all, he’s directly responsible for this.
Ways to help from home:
Curse therapy
My strategy depends on the particular shade of negativity I’m experiencing.
Since 2016, I’ve been mad – a lot. Anger can be channeled into productivity, but sometimes it needs to be unleashed. I find swearing to be one of the best ways to deal with anger. Sometimes (usually after watching the news), I let rip a loud string of F-bombs and then I can move on. Thank goodness my husband and I are 100% in agreement on politics. I don’t know how anyone is surviving in a politically “mixed marriage” at this point.
Do you remember when Trump visited Scotland in 2016? The coverage of their reaction was the absolute best. Does any other brand of English-speakers curse more creatively than the Scots? I don’t fucking think so.
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Dear Mary
Dear Centenarian Mary,
Congratulations! We made it to the big ten-oh. I hope 2065 is treating us well and that we haven’t run out of money. Seriously, we’ve lived 8 years longer than our financial planner modeled. (I hope I didn’t fuck us by retiring at 58.)
In case you’ve forgotten, 2024 was quite a year. If the United States is now a dictatorship under Baron Trump, it’s not due to lack of effort on our part. We worked hard to try to stop his wretched orange father from overturning democracy.
Hopefully things took a turn for the better in 2025—the year we turned 60. Hopefully. Fingers crossed that we get to go out on a high note.
Love,
Middle-aged Mary
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