I have nothing for this prompt. I mean, I’d never want to visit a war zone, or someplace similarly unsafe. I admire all the brave journalists, like Clarissa Ward, who are willing to bring us news from dangerous places around the world.
Totally unrelated, did anyone happen to see Billy Joel performing his 100th concert in Madison Square Garden on CBS Sunday night? He still sounds great—both voice & piano. After telling the audience he didn’t know what was going to happen on the high notes in “Innocent Man” (and giving them permission to grimace), he nailed it. He’s 74 years old. At one point, Sting (fit and ageless at 69) waltzed out in a perfectly tailored shiny suit and they did a jazz number, backed by the amazing band. It had the feeling of a GenX “rat pack” reunion. The audience (me included) sang along with all the songs, including the new one, but especially with the last one.
I was good at saying “no” to things for many years, especially volunteer roles in my church and in the schools. I had too much going on with the kids and work. I did my part for various fundraisers and events, but I wasn’t one to get roped into running the whole thing. In fact, a woman once told me she admired my ability to say “no.” (possibly a backhanded compliment)
Now that I’m retired (there, I said it) I’m ready to say “yes” to more things, especially if it’s something fun. Kudos to my husband, who is still working, but says “yes” to quite a few of my proposals. He doesn’t agree to everything I want to do together, but I’d estimate that he says “yes” 75% of the time. For example, we went and saw ALL TEN Best Picture nominees before the Oscar broadcast. And he’s been especially good about visiting museums with me. (He likes museums too, but it’s a bit more of a sacrifice for him to make the time to go.)
On Saturday, we went to a very cool exhibit at Boston’s Museum of Fine Arts about Hallyu (Korean Wave)—the surge of popular culture from South Korea that started with K-drama and cinema in the 90s and then spread across the globe with K-pop and its massive fandoms in the mid 2000s. K-beauty and fashion has also been a huge cultural export and Korean designers’ work was on display. After that, we went to a Korean restaurant to round out the K-culture experience.
A K-pop idol’s costume at the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston
Reconstruction of a set from “Parasite,” the 2019 film directed and co-written by Bong Joon-ho. It was the first non-English language film to ever win the Academy Award for Best Picture.
When I left my job in November, I got a lot of the usual stuff (“it’s been great working with you, you’ll be missed,” etc), but a few people reached out with specific compliments that I truly appreciated. One of my colleagues from way back wrote: “I’m so glad we worked together in my early career. I learned a lot from you that I still use.” This woman is now the Executive Director of a terrific nonprofit organization, so I was very happy to hear that I had taught her a useful thing or two.
I try to pay others specific compliments when I can. I think people like to know that they’ve somehow made a difference.
I’d be miraculously transported to Rome, with no airports, passports or wait times involved. (Beam me up, Scotty)
I’d spend the morning shopping on the Via del Corso and then head over to Trastevere for the afternoon. I would replace the buttery-soft, knee-length black leather coat that I bought on my semester abroad (which was subsequently stolen in NYC) and also get some new black leather gloves and whatever the heck else I want (it’s a fantasy, right?)
I would have plenty of time to take breaks in outdoor cafés. The weather would be 70 degrees and sunny. My feet would not hurt. My husband would cheerily accompany into every single store and carry my purchases without complaint. The dollar/euro exchange rate would be in my favor.
My friend Andreada and me in NYC in 1988. This is the one and only picture of my Italian black leather coat. It was so soft. It got stolen that very night from my chair in a Manhattan bar.
Our first house was a somewhat dilapidated antique outside of Boston. It had a “city yard” – about a quarter acre of rutted dirt and weeds. My husband Mario transformed it into an adorable garden and play area, complete with extensive stonework, including a patio and stone wall.
I take credit for none of it. He lifted all those rocks and pavers himself. Italians are known for their wonderful stonework. I think he got that gene. He also got the Italian “green thumb” gene.
My daughter driving her car on the stone patio, 1997ish
About 5 years later, my son on the same patio with the stonewall behind him
The patio was the perfect size for toddlers and their large plastic toys. I could watch them from my kitchen window.
Our late cat Kimba the White Lion on the stone wall
My husband grew all of these vegetables himself in that tiny yard one summer.
As I’ve mentioned, I’m a fan of fancy artisanal and European chocolates, but in terms of widely-available American candy, there’s one clear winner and it’s Reese’s. The fact that the two flavors – milk chocolate and peanut butter – taste great together cannot be denied.
I don’t know which Don Draper/Madison Avenue ad agency came up with the original commercials, but they were genius.
1979 Reese’s TV commercial
I have memories of dipping chocolate bars into open jars of Skippy or Jif, just like in the ads. I also remember when Friendly’s came out with their jumbo peanut butter cup sundaes, which had both hot fudge and peanut butter sauce. They were amazing. Freshman year of college, my late friend Carla and I loved nothing better than smoking a joint, then sharing one of those babies at our neighborhood Friendly’s. They definitely contributed to my freshman 15. (Somehow Carla never gained an ounce.)
The Friendly’s Peanut Butter Cup Sundae
Judging from the trick-or-treaters I got this past Halloween, Reese’s have not lost their appeal. They were gone first from my offerings – and I had extras. Again and again, they were chosen over KitKats, Snickers, plain Hershey bars, and White Chocolate with Oreo (Cookies n’ Creme) bars.
Thank goodness my tree nut allergy does not include peanuts, which are technically legumes.
Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.
I don’t know about my ideal day, but last night was pretty much my ideal Grammys. GenX, am I right?
I mean, Tracy Chapman performing “Fast Car” with Luke Combs (her voice still sounds great and she looks fantastic), Annie Lenox singing “Nothing Compares To You” in memory of Sinéad, Fantasia Barrino as Tina Turner, Billy Joel with his first new song in 30 years, and JONI MITCHELL absolutely wrecking us with that rendition of “Both Sides Now” – at age 80, after a brain aneurysm.
Well done, Grammys.
I also give two thumbs up to the new Netflix documentary “The Greatest Night in Pop.” It’s about the night they recorded We Are the World in 1985, which won Lionel Richie and Michael Jackson a Grammy for best song.
A seated Joni Mitchell performing Both Sides Now, with Brandi Carlile and other musicians at the Grammys last night 😭
GenX icon Tracy Chapman, age 59, singing “Fast Car” at the 2024 Grammy Awards
This blog has been more about looking back. Nostalgia. Turning 50 will do that. At 50, you know that your life is likely more than half over. Only 0.02% of people in the United States live to be 100.
Now, with 50 in the rear view and 60 fast approaching, I’m paying much more attention to what older people are doing, rather than trying to keep up with the latest trends. (One of the great things about leaving my job in November was that I never had to learn the new software tool that they were about to roll out. It was supposedly going to make things easier, but was already causing fights.)
Yes, there are many hardships in aging, particularly health-related ones, and all the losses–friends, parents, spouses. If you were lucky and never felt true, aching grief before age 50, it’s coming and there’s really nothing you can do to prepare for it.
So, I was basically ABC’s target audience for The Golden Bachelor. I am not a card-carrying member of “Bachelor Nation,” but I did watch a couple seasons early on. I was captivated by Trista, the very first Bachelorette who is now 51(!) and happily married to Ryan, the guy she met on the show. I watched their wedding on live TV twenty years ago. The intervening seasons did not interest me, especially when the son of a friend was cast and I learned a bit about what goes on behind the scenes. Spoiler alert: nothing is real. All the situations are staged.
STILL, I could not resist The Golden Bachelor, which featured 72-year old widower Gerry and twenty-two women over 60 competing for his love. Many, including the “winner” Theresa (a widow), were over 70. Yes, there was a lot of cringe. Yet, I cried at Gerry & Theresa’s televised wedding last night. When their daughters spoke about how they wanted their parents to find happiness again, after such profound sorrow. Theresa’s daughter urged her mother to “put him first,” which seemed so generous given that Theresa is a highly-involved grandmother. The other thing that was inspiring was the (seemingly) real comraderie between the women. Even the runner-up (for lack of a better word), seemed truly happy to “celebrate love.”
So, thanks ABC. Looking back can be fun, but as Theresa said at one point, “there’s always something to look forward to.”
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