![A logo for "50 Happens," [a site dedicated to Gen X women with children and grandchildren] [who embrace life's challenges with humor and resilience], [featuring a modern and uplifting design] [that embodies strength and positivity] [with an elegant and playful style] [and a harmonious blend of colors like pink, fuchsia, purple, and blue].](https://50happens.blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/img-5uorrxvwartomopcpuhjfjd0.png?w=300)
I think law enforcement cracked this case long ago. It’s the fingerprints! Book ‘em, Danno.
Happy Easter
TV
Saying yes
Daily writing prompt
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
I was good at saying “no” to things for many years, especially volunteer roles in my church and in the schools. I had too much going on with the kids and work. I did my part for various fundraisers and events, but I wasn’t one to get roped into running the whole thing. In fact, a woman once told me she admired my ability to say “no.” (possibly a backhanded compliment)
Now that I’m retired (there, I said it) I’m ready to say “yes” to more things, especially if it’s something fun. Kudos to my husband, who is still working, but says “yes” to quite a few of my proposals. He doesn’t agree to everything I want to do together, but I’d estimate that he says “yes” 75% of the time. For example, we went and saw ALL TEN Best Picture nominees before the Oscar broadcast. And he’s been especially good about visiting museums with me. (He likes museums too, but it’s a bit more of a sacrifice for him to make the time to go.)
On Saturday, we went to a very cool exhibit at Boston’s Museum of Fine Arts about Hallyu (Korean Wave)—the surge of popular culture from South Korea that started with K-drama and cinema in the 90s and then spread across the globe with K-pop and its massive fandoms in the mid 2000s. K-beauty and fashion has also been a huge cultural export and Korean designers’ work was on display. After that, we went to a Korean restaurant to round out the K-culture experience.
Related post:
I made a difference
Specific compliments are nice.
When I left my job in November, I got a lot of the usual stuff (“it’s been great working with you, you’ll be missed,” etc), but a few people reached out with specific compliments that I truly appreciated. One of my colleagues from way back wrote: “I’m so glad we worked together in my early career. I learned a lot from you that I still use.” This woman is now the Executive Director of a terrific nonprofit organization, so I was very happy to hear that I had taught her a useful thing or two.
I try to pay others specific compliments when I can. I think people like to know that they’ve somehow made a difference.
Roma 🇮🇹
OK, so it’s fantasy Saturday?
I’d be miraculously transported to Rome, with no airports, passports or wait times involved. (Beam me up, Scotty)
I’d spend the morning shopping on the Via del Corso and then head over to Trastevere for the afternoon. I would replace the buttery-soft, knee-length black leather coat that I bought on my semester abroad (which was subsequently stolen in NYC) and also get some new black leather gloves and whatever the heck else I want (it’s a fantasy, right?)
I would have plenty of time to take breaks in outdoor cafés. The weather would be 70 degrees and sunny. My feet would not hurt. My husband would cheerily accompany into every single store and carry my purchases without complaint. The dollar/euro exchange rate would be in my favor.
Related posts:
Stonework
I married a hard worker.
Our first house was a somewhat dilapidated antique outside of Boston. It had a “city yard” – about a quarter acre of rutted dirt and weeds. My husband Mario transformed it into an adorable garden and play area, complete with extensive stonework, including a patio and stone wall.
I take credit for none of it. He lifted all those rocks and pavers himself. Italians are known for their wonderful stonework. I think he got that gene. He also got the Italian “green thumb” gene.
As for me, sometimes I paint my own fingernails.
Related post:
Two Great Tastes that Taste Great Together
What’s your favorite candy?
As I’ve mentioned, I’m a fan of fancy artisanal and European chocolates, but in terms of widely-available American candy, there’s one clear winner and it’s Reese’s. The fact that the two flavors – milk chocolate and peanut butter – taste great together cannot be denied.
I don’t know which Don Draper/Madison Avenue ad agency came up with the original commercials, but they were genius.
I have memories of dipping chocolate bars into open jars of Skippy or Jif, just like in the ads. I also remember when Friendly’s came out with their jumbo peanut butter cup sundaes, which had both hot fudge and peanut butter sauce. They were amazing. Freshman year of college, my late friend Carla and I loved nothing better than smoking a joint, then sharing one of those babies at our neighborhood Friendly’s. They definitely contributed to my freshman 15. (Somehow Carla never gained an ounce.)
Judging from the trick-or-treaters I got this past Halloween, Reese’s have not lost their appeal. They were gone first from my offerings – and I had extras. Again and again, they were chosen over KitKats, Snickers, plain Hershey bars, and White Chocolate with Oreo (Cookies n’ Creme) bars.
Thank goodness my tree nut allergy does not include peanuts, which are technically legumes.
Long live the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.
Related posts:
The Grammys
Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.
I don’t know about my ideal day, but last night was pretty much my ideal Grammys. GenX, am I right?
I mean, Tracy Chapman performing “Fast Car” with Luke Combs (her voice still sounds great and she looks fantastic), Annie Lenox singing “Nothing Compares To You” in memory of Sinéad, Fantasia Barrino as Tina Turner, Billy Joel with his first new song in 30 years, and JONI MITCHELL absolutely wrecking us with that rendition of “Both Sides Now” – at age 80, after a brain aneurysm.
Well done, Grammys.
I also give two thumbs up to the new Netflix documentary “The Greatest Night in Pop.” It’s about the night they recorded We Are the World in 1985, which won Lionel Richie and Michael Jackson a Grammy for best song.
The Golden Bachelor
Daily writing prompt
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
This blog has been more about looking back. Nostalgia. Turning 50 will do that. At 50, you know that your life is likely more than half over. Only 0.02% of people in the United States live to be 100.
Now, with 50 in the rear view and 60 fast approaching, I’m paying much more attention to what older people are doing, rather than trying to keep up with the latest trends. (One of the great things about leaving my job in November was that I never had to learn the new software tool that they were about to roll out. It was supposedly going to make things easier, but was already causing fights.)
Yes, there are many hardships in aging, particularly health-related ones, and all the losses–friends, parents, spouses. If you were lucky and never felt true, aching grief before age 50, it’s coming and there’s really nothing you can do to prepare for it.
So, I was basically ABC’s target audience for The Golden Bachelor. I am not a card-carrying member of “Bachelor Nation,” but I did watch a couple seasons early on. I was captivated by Trista, the very first Bachelorette who is now 51(!) and happily married to Ryan, the guy she met on the show. I watched their wedding on live TV twenty years ago. The intervening seasons did not interest me, especially when the son of a friend was cast and I learned a bit about what goes on behind the scenes. Spoiler alert: nothing is real. All the situations are staged.
STILL, I could not resist The Golden Bachelor, which featured 72-year old widower Gerry and twenty-two women over 60 competing for his love. Many, including the “winner” Theresa (a widow), were over 70. Yes, there was a lot of cringe. Yet, I cried at Gerry & Theresa’s televised wedding last night. When their daughters spoke about how they wanted their parents to find happiness again, after such profound sorrow. Theresa’s daughter urged her mother to “put him first,” which seemed so generous given that Theresa is a highly-involved grandmother. The other thing that was inspiring was the (seemingly) real comraderie between the women. Even the runner-up (for lack of a better word), seemed truly happy to “celebrate love.”
So, thanks ABC. Looking back can be fun, but as Theresa said at one point, “there’s always something to look forward to.”
Related posts:
Happy New Year
What are your biggest challenges?
One challenge I have is being unproductive. I’m lazy by nature. I can sit on my sofa for hours in the morning – drinking coffee and doing things on my phone or laptop. Winter tends to exacerbate this inertia problem.
Now that I’m not working, and the holidays are over, I’m going to have to create a more productive morning routine.
I’ll get on that – tomorrow.
Happy 2024 to all.
GenX arrives
Share what you know about the year you were born.
OK, I cheated and googled it. A fantastic photo journey through 1965 from The Atlantic came up. Check it out here.
The eldest members of Generation X arrived in a big year – Selma, Vietnam, The Beatles, the first moon walk, the Voting Rights Act. I did not know that Winston Churchill died in 1965, or that the US occupied the Dominican Republic that year.
Now I’ll admit to a horribly vain thing that I do: I keep track of a select list of female celebrities – born in 1965 – for the sole purpose of watching them age and comparing myself to them. I’ll literally pause a TV show and ask my husband if Sarah Jessica Parker looks older or younger than me. He knows the right answer is always “about the same as you.” You don’t stay married for 30+ years without learning basic shit.
Here’s my “born in 1965” vanity comparison list with birthdays. I was born in June, so I’m within 6 months of each of them.
Kyra Sedgwick, 8/19
Diane Lane, 1/22
Sarah Jessica Parker, 3/25
Elizabeth Hurley, 6/10
Brooke Shields, 5/31
Kristin Davis, 2/23
Paulina Porizkova, 4/9
Viola Davis, 8/11
Julia Ormond, 1/4
Maura Tierney, 2/3
Marlee Matlin, 8/24
Shania Twain, 8/28
Linda Evangelista, 5/10
I seem to have a special fondness for my fellow GenX Gemini, Brooke Shields. (She was looking at colleges the same time I was and visited some of the same schools.) I really enjoyed the recent documentary about her (Pretty Baby). She’s keepin it real and, in my opinion, looks better than ever.
50 Happens 