People don’t look good

I don’t know if this is just a New England thing or what, but people do not look well to me. It’s been a looooong winter here in New England (currently 42 degrees with light snow in Nashua, NH), but it’s like this every year. We know this. March is a winter month and it’s foolish to expect anything else, even with global warming. You can easily get snow on Easter Sunday. Hell, I’ve seen snow on Mother’s Day.

But this is different. A lot of people look miserable to me. An older woman with a walker was my cashier at Marshall’s yesterday. At age 65+, she has a job that requires her to stand up—for hours. Can she not retire? Is she one of the millions of Americans whose retirement plan is “work til I die.”

I have no idea of the political affiliation of strangers, so maybe this has nothing to do with the erosion of democracy or ascendent authoritarianism, but it does remind me a bit of my trip to the Soviet Union in 1987. Nobody smiled there. Everyone looked…grey (for lack of a better word). If they did smile, you could see that their teeth were horrible. They did not have American smiles.

I have done a fair bit of traveling and I can tell you that we tend be the warmest smilers in the world. And as a rule, we have fantastic teeth. (Maybe it was the fluoride and all the other public health initiatives we benefited from as kids.) But I’m seeing far fewer smiles lately. And more people are missing teeth.

An older woman sitting in a museum in Suzdal (Russia/USSR) in 1987 – “smiling” without showing her teeth
A couple struggling their way through a Nashua mall today in search of a free wheelchair for her to use

White Lotus Finale

OK, I have now watched the Season 3 White Lotus finale and am ready to discuss! (I managed to avoid all spoilers yesterday—except for one: I knew there were going to be multiple deaths, thanks to a headline in the NYT.)

In my opinion, it was a very good ending with one truly excellent scene. When the three childhood friends (three women over forty) finally share deeply and openly, Carrie Coons’ monologue brought me to tears:

I’ve been most intrigued by this trio the entire season. Although we’re nothing like these three (other than being white and over 40), my two high school besties and I go on vacation together about once every ten years (usually for a milestone birthday). We live in different cities and usually meet up in a fourth city that we all want to see. We did Chicago when we turned 40, New Orleans when we turned 50, and were planning to go to Montreal for our 60th.

Even though we’re not in each other’s lives on a super regular basis, I get a deep feeling of love and fulfillment whenever I am with them. Our lives have taken different paths, but we started in the exact same place at the exact same time. It’s like Laurie (Carrie Coons) said:

“But I had this epiphany today: I don’t need religion or God to give my life meaning, because time gives it meaning. We started this life together. I mean, we’re going through it apart, but we’re still together. And I look at you guys and it feels meaningful and I can’t explain it, but even when we’re just sitting around the pool talking about whatever and name shit, it still feels very fucking deep. I am glad you have a beautiful face and I’m glad that you have a beautiful life. I am just happy to be at the table.”

When you have friends you’ve known since junior high—nearly 50 years for me—there’s a bit of God in that. Women know this.

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Ireland planning 🇮🇪

As I prepare to turn sixty in 77 days, I am working on my Bucket List (things I want to do and places I want to see before I “kick the bucket”). I’ve always been one to keep a “to do” list (I like getting stuff done), but this one is fun. I started it shortly after my dear friend Carla unexpectedly got sick and passed away in 2022 at age 57.

I try to really think about places and experiences that call to me, not just rack up instagrammable, exotic locations. I have reasons for wanting to see these places. For the bigger trips, I try to keep the budget to $10,000 (or less) for the two of us for a full week. I know that’s a lot of money for a lot of folks, but believe me, I know people that spend a whole hell of a lot more than that on their luxury vacations. I would say we are “budget conscious” travelers, but I will splurge on special experiences like dinner in the Eiffel Tower or a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon.

Here’s where my Bucket List stands now:

Grand Canyon ✅ (June 2023)

Paris ✅ (December 2023)

Finger Lakes & Hot Air Ballooning ✅ (May 2024)

Tanglewood ✅ (August 2024)

Yellowstone National Park ✅ (September 2024)

Northern Lights ✅ This wasn’t a planned trip, I just got lucky! (October 2024)

Key West ✅ (February 2025)

NEXT UP: Ireland ☘️

Is there any other foreign country that looms quite so large in the American psyche? I don’t think so!

Like millions of other Americans, I am a descendant of poor Irish immigrants. My great grandmother Mary Barry was from Dublin.

My mother’s father’s mother, Mary Barry, with six of her children, including my maternal grandfather Henry (far right). She was born in Dublin, Ireland in 1880 and died in Queens, NY in 1952. She immigrated to America, through Ellis Island, in 1903. She was 23 years old and arrived with three US dollars to her name.

This trip to Ireland will mark my first group tour experience. We’ve never been on a weeklong tour before. I usually book the hotels and do all the planning myself, but since it’s my birthday, I wanted to give myself a break and have someone else do the planning.

I looked at many types of tours (including on bikes and boats), but ultimately decided to try a Rick Steves tour. Good old Rick—PBS super nerd! I love his guidebooks and his travel philosophy in general. Plus, he is a well known weed-smoking liberal, so the chances of having any Trumpers in our group are slim.

So now, I need to start reading more about Ireland. I’ve already watched many of the recent TV shows and movies set there, including the excellent miniseries about The Troubles—Say Nothing.

Our tour is in the Republic of Ireland only, but I’m contemplating taking a trip up to Belfast (Northern Ireland, UK) at the end of the trip. We will be staying a few extra days in Dublin, where our son will join us, so I need to make some plans for that time.

Please send your Dublin recommendations and any advice you might have about planning a day trip to Belfast.

Also, books! What should I read to help truly understand the heart of this country and its people, from whom so many of us Americans descend?

I’m open to the classics, as well as modern fiction, historical fiction and nonfiction.

TYIA

☘️ 🇮🇪

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Birthdays not a given

I and all of my high school and college classmates are turning 60 this year.

It’s interesting to see how people are marking the occasion. It looks like a lot of trips (and some parties), but mostly trips. People want to travel at 60, while their health is still good and the expenses of child-rearing are mostly behind them.

Today would’ve been my college friend Carla’s 60th birthday, but she didn’t make it. She died at 57 from a brain tumor. She was perfectly healthy and absolutely gorgeous, until that dumb tumor.

I wonder if she would’ve taken a special trip.

Shortly before she got sick, Carla shared this photo of her beautiful grey hair. She never colored it. It was just naturally gorgeous like her.

The Best Key Lime Pie

On my recent trip to Key West, I ate key lime pie five times. One night, I was too full for dessert and on the last night, I succumbed to the siren call of a chocolate lava cake with vanilla ice cream. But every other night I felt a certain obligation to try a different version of the island’s signature dessert.

Here’s where I went:

Key Lime Pie Bakery (Greene St)

Kermit’s Key Lime

Red Shoe Island Bistro

Salute! (Same owners and same “mile high” key lime pie that is served at the famous Blue Heaven restaurant)

Limes & Pies (Duval Street)

And the winner is: Red Shoe Island Bistro

The entire meal was so good, it’s no surprise their pie was perfect. It also happened to be my husband’s birthday, so the delicious pie was on the house.

And the loser is: Salute! (Blue Heaven)

The “mile high” key lime pie is basically regular key lime pie with a ton of meringue piled on top. It just doesn’t work well. It looks cool, but the meringue does nothing to enhance the flavor of the pie. Any of the many grab-and-go key lime bakeries (Kermit’s, Limes & Pies, etc) are better than “mile high” in my opinion.

There is one bakery I really wanted to try for pie, but they close early. It’s possible that Old Towne Bakery could’ve been the winner. We met the founder (and recipe developer) at his satellite location and really loved his pastries. He’s a Boston expat and professional baker who relocated to Key West years ago.

Next time…

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It’s all vibes

Farewell Key West

Farewell Key West

I really do not want to leave Key West and go back to the cold and snow tomorrow. We’ve had fantastic Caribbean weather this whole week. It’s been gorgeous – day and night.

Hand-painted sign on a cute little Key West house
Only 90 miles to Cuba

On the bright side, I get to see my granddaughter this weekend.

That makes going back easier.

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Hemingway’s polydactyls

Hemingway’s polydactyls

The main attraction in Ernest Hemingway’s Key West home (now a museum) is the cats. 59 of them! About half have six or more toes (polydactyls).

The story goes that a Massachusetts boat captain sailed into Key West with a white six-toed cat named Snowball. Hemingway became enamored with the cat, so when she had kittens, Captain Dexter of Massachusetts gave one to Hemingway for his sons. They named the kitten Snow White.

Hemingways is quoted as saying, “One cat just leads to another.”

The museum staff includes many world class cat ladies (and gentlemen) who love taking care of them and even sleep over in the museum with them during hurricanes.

“Papa”
My husband on the veranda of Hemingway’s Key West home
Picking up the cats is not allowed, but you can pet them

I’m not even going to pretend to be a big Hemingway fan. I vaguely remember being forced to read “Old Man and the Sea.” I’m sure he was a great writer and all, but he did have four different wives (he divorced three of them). He also collected antique birthing and midwife chairs, which seems odd (and a bit creepy) for a man.

Birthing chair at the foot of the bed in the Hemingway’s bedroom

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Key West vibe re: politics

Key West vibe re: politics

During the American Civil War, Key West remained under Union control despite Florida joining the Confederacy. Its strategic deep-water port and existing naval base made it a crucial Union stronghold for blockading Confederate shipping in the Gulf of Mexico. Apparently some Key West residents didn’t like that and left the island permanently. (Good riddance assholes!)

Today, there is a big and thriving LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 community here. Along with all the artists, this makes for little to no open MAGA support. I have not seen one Trump hat or shirt on anyone. It’s great. There are also no Trump lawn signs or boats flying the obnoxious flag.

There is just one seedy store on Duval street, that carries the offensive paraphernalia. And because I am a leftist Boston MASShole, I had to stop and Flip the Bird to this particular retailer.

Other than this one tacky store, the coast is clear for MAGA haters to come to Key West.

Not so much for Kansas City fans though…I’ve only seen Eagles shirts. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say Key West is rooting strongly for Philly in the Superbowl.

Go birds 🦅

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It’s all vibes

It’s all vibes

A few photos from my bucket list trip to Key West.

It started out as many winter trips from Boston to Florida do:

But things quickly got better

We have an amazing balcony here.

I swam in this ocean today.

I’m settling into the vibe here. I know I was worried about getting bored on such a small island for a whole week, but Key West is actually a very lively town with many good restaurants and lots of live music. There’s definitely a lot of Yacht Rock here (I’ve heard multiple renditions of Steve Miller Band’s The Joker), but there’s also a lot of real talent playing in the bars.

The town feels safe, but colorful. There are some beautiful buildings and lots of cute houses, but none of the highrise condo buildings that are in virtually every other city in Florida.

Custom House
Episcopal Church
Walgreens

The roosters are real and they are everywhere. Apparently they were originally brought here by Cubans for cockfighting, but then cockfighting got banned, so the Cubans retaliated by letting the birds go free. They are now a protected species here.

Iguanas (“Key West dinosaurs”) are everywhere too, but they are not protected. They are an invasive species.

Despite my understanding that recreational weed wasn’t going to be available here, a very close hemp substitute is sold everywhere. This enhances the vibes, especially for those of us who aren’t big drinkers.

The food has been really good.

Blackened mahi mahi wrapped in banana leaf with mango salsa

And the legendary sunsets are truly spectacular.

To enhance the vibes, I’m reading Florida, short stories by Lauren Groff. They’re fantastic so far. She’s an amazing writer.

Before I left, I read The Last Train to Key West by Chanel Cleeton, historical fiction set in The Florida Keys in 1935, when the “Labor Day Hurricane” demolished Flagler’s wondrous railroad.

See? I got to the end of this post and haven’t mentioned Jimmy Buffett once.

🦜