I’ve always liked giraffes. I like their spots, their long necks and legs, their big eyes and eyelashes, and their gentleness. And the calves are so cute, wobbling around on those long legs. Maybe I’m anthropomorphizing, but I think giraffes are cool.
Now I know people have mixed feelings about zoos, but if an African safari is not in your budget, zoos are the only place you’re ever going to see a live giraffe herd. The very best giraffe exhibit I’ve ever seen is at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs. You should make a point to visit, if you’re ever in the area. The giraffe exhibit is a real showstopper 🦒
Visiting the giraffes at Cheyenne Mountain Zoo, 2009
Yes, I do tend to trust my instincts. I’m not one to sweep things under the rug. The downside of that is that I sometimes overreact to things.
I think parenting is one of those areas where it’s important to trust your instincts. If you think there’s something wrong with your pregnancy, baby, toddler, child, teenager, etc., you should act on it. It’s better to be wrong, than to let a real problem go unaddressed.
I’m not a big animal lover. I mean, I love the animal kingdom, especially the giraffes, but I don’t love having animals in the house.
I’ve had pets over the years. We grew up with a husky that we adopted when my mother’s tennis partner moved to Dallas, where it was deemed too hot for a cold weather breed. His name was Bunky. He was OK.
Then, when I was young and single, I agreed to take a really cute kitten from my sister’s cat’s litter. Kimba was beautiful, like Kimba the White Lion, but so so bad. I’ll never forget the time he jumped up on my refrigerator in my tiny studio apartment and nudged the antique toaster off of it. The toaster was plugged in and an arc of blue sparks flew through the air as the cord separated from the appliance.
Then, in 1993, I married a cat person. He had his own sweet little black cat named Sticky (Stick for short). He named her Sticky because she stuck to things, like curtains and pant legs. Sticky and Kimba learned to live together, but were never really friends.
Then, when my daughter was five and an only child, we got a dog. Teddy was a purebred Sheltie. He was nuts. The mailman was afraid of him. He ripped up our outdoor furniture. My daughter loved him, but then we had another child. I just did not trust this dog around the baby. One day, I accidentally stepped on Teddy’s tail while he was sleeping and he bit my foot — right through my canvas sneaker. That was it. I didn’t think it was safe to keep him any longer, so we gave him to a Sheltie rescue organization. That was rough.
This brings me to my last and best pet Cricket. Cricket was a moon-faced, greenish grey striped kitty that we adopted from a shelter in Lowell when the kids were both in grade school. They really loved her and so did my husband. She would sit in his lap at night and I could just see that stroking her was probably lowering his blood pressure. There were clear benefits for him.
It was tough when she needed to be put down during COVID after we’d spent a fortune on veterinary surgery to try to correct a problem with her back. I had to make the final decision to end her life because my husband loved her too much. She was a good pet. Our sweet Cricket.
A portrait of Cricket that hangs on our wall: a thoughtful gift from my daughter to my husband
Invent a holiday! Explain how and why everyone should celebrate.
Facebook is always inventing holidays, like “National Daughters Day” or “National Sons Day.” They tend to make me feel annoyed. It’s like why would I randomly post a photo of my son, who doesn’t even have a Facebook? Everyone loves their kids — we know this. No extra holiday needed.
I think a lot of people need a lift these days, so what would make most people feel better? Hmmmmm… thinking….this is hard
I liked Obama’s “National Day of Service” idea, but I’ve honestly never participated in it. Earth Day is good too. Remember “Hands Across America” day? Another nice idea, but I don’t think it actually worked.
How about creating a national “I Can Swim” day? One thing I really hate reading about every summer is drownings. It’s so sad. Every kid in America should learn to swim. All barriers (cost, access to lessons, etc) should be removed. Every school district in America should have a public pool.
Maybe every kid (or adult) who passes the “I Can Swim” national test during a given year, gets celebrated on “I Can Swim” day with cake, balloons, presents and a big splash party at the community pool?
Yes, I’m liking this idea. Make “I Can Swim Day” as big of a deal as all the other growing up holidays like First Communion, Quinceañera or Bat/Bar Mitzvah. I can say with certainty that learning to swim has provided me with far more lifelong joy and safety than whatever I was made to memorize for my First Communion.
As kids, my neighborhood friends and I would play elaborate games of pretend. One game was “Little House on the Prairie,” based on the books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. We would turn my friend Carolyn’s bed into a pioneer wagon and pretend we were heading west. Calamities would befall us, especially stagecoach robbers. We were always getting attacked.
Here’s a Halloween photo from that time period that I happened to pull out yesterday. I was a cowboy that year. Thinking back, that would certainly fit with my “Little House on the Prairie” obsession.
Halloween, 1973
The magic of books that transported you to a world that you wanted to recreate and inhabit is something that “kid at heart” conjures.
“Little Women” is another book that we liked to act out. We would pretend we were playwrights and write & perform mini-plays.
I remember being so excited when my son built himself a tree perch in which to read “The Swiss Family Robinson.” I knew he was feeling that book magic.
My son reading “The Swiss Family Robinson” in a tree, with the remnants of a brilliant sunset in the background, November 2010
Without a doubt, the thing I’m most proud of is my family.
Even though getting married and having kids seems traditional, even conservative in some ways, it’s actually a crazy risk. Who the heck knows how it’ll all work out? You hope for the best when you choose a partner, knowing full well that nearly half of marriages fail. Then, once a baby arrives, you become the second most important in your own life. There’s not one single thing you would not do to protect your child. As Hillary Clinton said, “having a child is like deciding to let your heart forever walk around outside your body.” There is no love stronger, or more terrifying.
I know I’ve had it easier than many, but my generation has dealt with A LOT. It is completely understandable that many GenXers did not choose to go the marriage and children route. From the AIDS epidemic just as we were starting our biggest “hooking up” years (AIDS first made the cover of TIME magazine when I was a senior in high school), to President Reagan massively cutting federal aid for higher education (my two best friends had to drop out of their private colleges after freshman year), to the “Black Monday” stock market crash in 1987 (the year I graduated college), there were some pretty negative external forces at play.
The other thing that GenX has seen a lot of is addiction – both alcoholism and drug abuse. I know Baby Boomers smoked plenty of weed, but GenX had a lot more access to harder and more addictive drugs. If you’re in your fifties and you don’t know someone who overdosed and/or went to rehab, you’re lucky.
That is all to say, things weren’t always easy, but I’m so glad I took that leap of faith and got married and had two awesome children! I miss them terribly, but it’s only because we did such a damn good job raising them that they are out in the world living independently. “Adulting” is no easy task and I’m so proud of both of them for doing it so well.
I think I’m more pragmatic than highly principled. I want to live in a peaceful world, where everyone gets along, and basic needs are met for all. I believe in democracy and capitalism within reason. I believe the government should provide basic services, including education, and should get involved in regulating and overseeing private industry to protect us and our environment. I believe there are certain things that only government can do, like protect our civil rights and bodily autonomy, including protecting us from gun violence.
I believe it is an individual’s responsibility to act in a way that contributes to society and if possible, don’t burden others. Work, pay your taxes, raise decent children, exercise, floss, and for goodness sake’s VOTE, even when it’s a real pain in the ass. Like tonight.
Massachusetts towns have this crazy form of local government called Town Meeting. It’s incredibly time consuming as people can stand up and pontificate ad nauseum on anything from a new firetruck to a new bylaw regulating backyard chickens.
Tonight there’s a zoning question around guns. Pro second amendment people will pack the meeting, as will parents and others who want to limit the number of firearms businesses in town. I’d rather stay home and watch Hotel Portofino on Masterpiece, but I will go to Town Meeting. Because you gotta do your part.
This is Article 9. It’s not as interesting as Masterpiece, but showing up and voting YES is the least I can do.The simple version
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
About a week after I had my daughter, I ventured out into the world without her. I left her with my husband in our apartment while I went to a pharmacy to pick-up the first photos of her. (This was 1995 and we still took actual film to Walgreens or CVS to get prints made.)
I remember thinking, “This is so weird. It’s not just me walking around anymore. I’m someone’s mother.” I wondered if I looked different, because I sure felt different. I was 29 years old.
There’s nothing like the responsibility of having a teeny, tiny human completely dependent on you to make you feel like a true grown up real fast.
Here’s one of the photos I was picking up at the pharmacy that day: my February baby 💕
What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?
I’m not a big goal setter. I tend to believe in the old John Lennon quote, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
One time I really did make a conscious, considered decision to do something and then made it my personal mission was when I decided to have a second child at 35+.
We had one perfect kindergartner and my husband was not really on board with baby #2. I had been thinking the same, but then had a change of heart and knew I wasn’t getting any younger.
So I made it happen.
It took about six months to get pregnant. The pregnancy itself was OK, but my son was huge and 8 days late just before the holidays, so that was rough. Also, I had natural childbirth with a midwife which was hard, but also exhilarating and rewarding.
So yeah, having my son was the hardest and best personal goal I ever set for myself. And good news – my husband eventually came around too!
What would you do if you lost all your possessions?
If I lost all possessions, I assume it would be in a tragic situation like a fire or flood. Most people in those situations, when you see them interviewed on TV, say they’re going to be OK, if they and their families are unhurt. They say something like, “things are just things, people cannot be replaced.”
I hope I’d be like them — filled with grace.
Me and my people that cannot be replaced, Thanksgiving 2016
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