My policy

Bloganuary writing prompt
Where can you reduce clutter in your life?

Everyone knows there’s one really great way to declutter: MOVE. Moving forces you to go through all your stuff and evaluate whether or not each item is worth bringing to your next space. But moving is major. Nobody does it just to declutter.

Once, after a move many years ago, I developed a “policy” with my clothes and shoes. (We lived in a tiny antique house and my closet was from colonial times.) If I bought something new, I made sure to get rid of something I didn’t wear anymore. Something in, something out. It kept things in equilibrium. It also helped me see my clothes more clearly and put together outfits that I never would’ve thought of when everything was packed so tight. Eventually, I extended my policy to other things, like books and toys.

When we moved to a bigger house, I largely kept the policy. It helps keep clutter down. I have a large shelf in my closet, which I like to think of as “purgatory.” It’s where I put things I plan to get rid of. Things typically sit in purgatory for six months or so — retrievable, if I change my mind — before I donate them to Big Brother/Big Sister or to my church’s “trash and treasure” sale.

My son’s huge collection of worn out sneakers has largely been kept under control by the policy. (If he wants new sneakers, he’s got to agree to toss some old ones.) I even do it with my jewelry. If I’m tempted to buy new earrings, I’ll get rid of a pair I never wear. (They go to purgatory initially, in case I miss them and want them back, and then to the jewelry donation box at my church.)

Occasionally, I get rid of something and regret it later. For example, my son wanted to play tennis out of the blue last summer, but I had donated all our rackets to the Boy Scouts because nobody had used them in 5+ years. They were in the garage, which really needs a full “move-like” decluttering. We need to pretend we’re moving and take every single thing out of the garage, clean it, and then only put back the stuff we use.

That’s a job for the spring.

Family Road Trip: Colorado edition

Bloganuary writing prompt
Think back on your most memorable road trip.

In summer 2009, we took the kids on a fairly epic road trip in Colorado. They were eight and fourteen at the time and it was their first trip to the Great American West. We covered a lot of ground. After flying to Denver from Boston, we visited friends in Evergreen (who had recently relocated from Massachusetts), then visited Boulder and Rocky Mountain National Park. From there, we went to Red Rock Canyon and Colorado Springs to visit my cousin Andy and his family–some of whom I’d never met. After that, we headed to Creede, an old silver mining town in the San Juan Mountains, to visit my Aunt Mary and her boyfriend Harold, a real Western mountain man if ever there was. Along the way, we visited the Great Sand Dunes National Park and a few other sites, including a giant thermal swimming pool and an alligator farm, before returning to Denver for the flight home.

I remember it as being a really good trip. We saw a lot, including friends and family, and everyone got along well. When you’ve spent your entire life on the East Coast, it’s quite an experience to see those giant open skies and magnificent mountains for the first time. I hope my kids remember the feeling of it. It even smells different out there.

Harold and my namesake Aunt Mary, an East Coast girl turned true westerner
The rental car was solid. You don’t want car problems on those crazy mountain roads!
Rocky Mountain National Park
Creede, CO

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Mary had a little lamb

Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?

If you name a little girl Mary, someone’s bound to give her a lamb. “Lamby” was my very special stuffed animal when I was small. I’m not sure if the song reinforced my love of the toy, or vice versa, but Lamby was far and away my favorite stuffed animal. And I had a lot of stuffed animals.

Lamby was too important to toss and currently lives in a box in my attic.

I got to hold a real lamb once, but I didn’t get to take it to school.
Lamby looking pretty good for 55+

Related post:

Back when we were tiny

TO READ list

Daily writing prompt
You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?

I’ve read some nice posts from other bloggers this morning referencing famous writers. Their posts reminded me how Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own once affected me. It encouraged me to move into my own studio apartment, when I was just out of college. Living without roommates was a little scary, but somehow Woolf’s words from 1928 helped give me courage to live all by myself. I need to re-read that. I liked I.V. Greco’s post, which mentions Hemingway’s A Moveable Feast, a book I’ve been meaning to read since my friend Kathy recommended it while I was in Paris. I was never a Hemingway fan, but I’m going to give his Paris memoir a shot. Also, Rebuilding Rob wrote about Henry David Thoreau’s cabin on Walden Pond in his response to this prompt. Another book I need to read.

Now that I’m unemployed/retired, I need to read more books. Perhaps that will be my New Year’s resolution. In addition to Walden, A Moveable Feast, and A Room of One’s Own, I’ve got a lovely book of poetry waiting for me to pick it up. I can tell by the poems that she’s shared in her blog that Ever So Gently by Lauren Scott will be a treat.

Here are a few photos from my most recent trip to Walden Pond in Concord, MA. It was an unusually warm day in very late October. I wonder if Thoreau ever could’ve imagined his Walden would become such a popular, though still pristine, destination for people from around the world. Less than 20 miles from Boston, Walden is an especially popular spot for city residents who just want to get out in nature for the day. I saw several folks perched in quiet spots along the pond reading books, all by themselves. 

Back when we were tiny

What is your all time favorite automobile?

I’m not a car enthusiast, but I associate certain cars with certain events or periods in my life. For example, Honda minivans will forever remind me of my young parenting years. Those were the largest cars I ever owned.

On the other extreme, my parents owned a blue Volkswagen bug when I was very young. I have an early memory of stuffing myself into a tiny spot in the upper part of the back seat. I remember looking up at the interior ceiling. It had little dots or holes in the material and you could kind of blur your eyes and it created an optical illusion. The dots would seem closer than they actually were, like in a Magic Eye book.

I don’t have a photo of that car, but here I am, around the same time, stretching out my legs in my new red wagon. I fit perfectly!

Do you remember fitting yourself into a small space back when you were tiny?

Merry Christmas

How are you creative?

I’m up early (7:30am) thinking of all the parents of all the young children around the world who have probably been up for two hours already. Santa came! Woo hoo! Enjoy it…these years are a lot of work, but will fly by in the blink of an eye. (Sorry, I’m sure you’ve heard this once or twice – or like ten thousand times – before.)

I think my main creative outlet these days, besides singing and this blog, is photography. And I don’t even use a real (35mm) camera anymore, just my iPhone. Here’s a shot I got the other night on my way home from choir. I thought this deer was a holiday lawn ornament, then I realized he was real. I backed up my car, opened my window, and said “hey deer.” This made him stop munching the neighbor’s shrub and look up at me.

We’re not having a white Christmas here in New England, but at least we’ve got (rein)deer.

Christmas deer

Grant Us Peace

I hope you enjoy this recording that my choir made in 2021 during the pandemic lockdown. We each recorded ourselves singing alone at home and then sent the files to our choir director. She mixed them together using some sort of software and it really sounds quite good, especially considering she’d never done anything like this before. It was also very meaningful to the choir, and to the congregation, to hear our voices blended again after being separated for so long. Many were struggling with loneliness and isolation.

The text “Dona nobis pacem” means “Grant us peace.” The melody has been passed orally, although it is sometimes attributed to Mozart. English-language hymnals usually mark it “Traditional.” It is sung as a round, so you can sing any of the three parts at any time. You’ll never be wrong.

Beyond use at church, the round has been sung around the world in secular settings as a prayer for peace.

Here’s the music. Sing with us.

Merry Christmas.

Peace on Earth.

All bets are off

Daily writing prompt
Are you a good judge of character?

No, I am not a good judge of character. Prior to the 2016 election, I would’ve had a different answer. Back then, my idea of “good character” was still based on what I’d learned over the years in school and church and from my family. Lying and stealing were bad. Racism and misogyny were also bad. Nazis were the absolute worst. Sure, I had rejected the Catholic Church and become a Unitarian Universalist, but I believed that most people (liberal or conservative) had a common understanding of the differences between right and wrong. I did not vote for John McCain or Mitt Romney, but I understood why reasonable people would. They were men of good character. Then, 63 million of my fellow Americans, including the man I’ve loved and trusted since Day One (my dad), voted for someone who had been caught on tape admitting to sexual assault and I realized that I never really knew anything about anyone. 

Back when things were clearer, my mom was a leader of Camp Fire Girls and took us camping. The Camp Fire Girls motto was WoHeLo, which stood for Work, Health, Love.

First day as a mother of two

Daily writing prompt
Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.

Today is my son John’s birthday. It’s also Taylor Swift’s birthday and Santa Lucia day in Sweden – so it’s a big day around the world. (Lucia is my daughter’s name, so it’s interesting that he was born on her saint’s name day. And by the way, I’ve added visiting Sweden to my bucket list.)

I waited a long time (six years) to have a second child. I was happy with my one little girl and didn’t think I wanted more children. When I started to second guess that decision, I really agonized about it. I made lists of pros and cons, saw a therapist, and read a book about the environmental impact of having more than one child in a First World country: Maybe One by the great environmentalist Bill McKibben. 

In the end, my heart won out and we were so fortunate to receive the best Christmas present ever in the last month of the first year of the new millennium: an adorable baby boy. I was over 35, so I know I was lucky! On my first day as a mother of two, I felt that our family was complete. There was no turning back now. It felt like I had fully committed to this motherhood thing. It would be the most important part of my identity for the foreseeable future.

Christmas 2000

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I’m someone’s mother

Family

Who are your current most favorite people?

Thanksgiving 2023

My family is the most important thing to me. If they’re OK, I can live my life and have fun doing things I like. If something is wrong with one of them, it’s hard for me to concentrate on anything else.

When I wake up in the morning, I sometimes think about all the people around the world who are struggling with so many things – from chronic pain or addiction, to loneliness, to war. I know circumstances can change for anyone, anytime, anywhere. I wish everyone could have at least one happy hour a day – pain-free, safe, loved.

On a related note, it’s been heartwarming to see some of the hostages released in Israel. The moment when they’re reunited with their loved ones is so powerful. I’m happy for those families.