What do you do to improve your sleep?

I have had bouts of insomnia over the years. The worst was when my daughter was newborn. I developed a problem where I couldn’t get back to sleep after getting up to feed her. And as many people know, lack of sleep for extended periods can cause very real problems. Mine caused vertigo. It was scary. But since then, I’ve mostly had my sleeping under control. I use the Calm app when sleep problems flare-up.

My husband is a totally different story. It seems like he hasn’t had a good night of sleep since 1993. He has sleep apnea, Restless Leg Syndrome, chronic arthritis pain, and he’s just a restless guy in general. This can make his health and moods quite variable. (You really do need good sleep to feel “well.”)

I’ve tried to help with his problems over the years, but it’s really on him. You can’t “fix” another person. I long ago decided that everyone is responsible for their own happiness. If he’s having a bad day due to lack of sleep, I really try to not let it ruin mine. I want to enjoy my life and good health for however long it lasts. You can be sympathetic without “taking on” another person’s problems.

I’m now watching the second season of The Four Seasons on Netflix and I love it. It’s about a group of GenX friends who are dealing with relatable issues like the death of a close friend. The long-married, straight couple is played by Tina Fey and Will Forte. In the episode I watched last night, one scene really resonated. It ended with Will Forte saying exactly what I’ve been saying: “we are each responsible for our own happiness.” And Tina Fey responded, “so we’re still married, but we stop trying to fix each other.”

Yes, I agree!

And fortunately, we have a second bedroom I can escape to, if needed. That’s actually my key point, come to think of it.

If you live with a bad sleeper, you MUST have a second bedroom where you can go sleep in peace by yourself. Nobody can sleep on “eggshells” – worried to death that they’ll accidentally wake someone else up.