What’s the best way to deal with negative thoughts?
This is a hard one for me to answer. I’ve been dealing with a lot of negative thoughts since the beginning of this year, due to a situation that has forever changed my feelings about my family of origin.
I’ll be interested to read others’ responses.
I guess distraction is one way!
So, here’s a mommy and baby osprey in their very dramatic nest near the beach on the South Coast of Massachusetts:
And some video of the two interacting:
This nearby beach is just over border, so it’s actually in Rhode Island, not Massachusetts.
New England has many beautiful areas, but this one is my favorite. The ocean is noticeably warmer here than in Northern New England and there are never shark sightings like on Cape Cod (knock wood) so you can get in and swim to your heart’s content.
Actually, that’s my answer: swimming is the best way to deal with negative thoughts.
I’m changing this prompt. I’m answering this question instead:
What do you love now, that you hated loved when you were younger, but didn’t realize was unique to your area and is slowly disappearing?
Answer: New England Chinese Food
I spent the weekend with a couple of fellow GenX/Baby Boomers and learned something new.
The Chinese food we grew up loving is not the same elsewhere in the country. It’s unique and when people move away from New England (especially Massachusetts and Rhode Island), they can’t find it and they miss it.
In a nutshell, here’s why and how ours is different:
Most New England Chinese restaurants were established by Chinese immigrant families who adapted recipes to local American tastes in the mid-20th century. Restaurants tended to influence one another, creating a regional style that became its own tradition. The result is a cuisine that’s generally:
Sweeter
More heavily fried
More focused on appetizers
Less spicy than many restaurants in places like California, New York City’s Chinatown, or areas with larger recent Chinese immigrant communities.
One of my Boomer friends, who is Jewish, grew up in Massachusetts going out for Chinese food on Christmas, so he was especially sad when his lifelong favorite Chinese restaurant closed recently. He brought me up to speed on what everyone else apparently knows already.
You can’t get this stuff everywhere!
From Scorpion Bowls to PuPu platters filled with fried delights, you will not find any of it in modern pan-Asian restaurants with bright lights and sushi chefs.
We had an absolutely delightful meal at Jade Garden in New Bedford, MA which was about as Old School as you can get.
Our PuPu platter. Pass the Duck Sauce.
Everything, especially the chicken fingers, were delicious and absolutely glistening in their fried batter. I did not manage to grab one of those classic New England-style Chinese egg rolls fast enough, so will need to return. Barely visible are the sweet, boneless park spare ribs which, according to all reports, are hard to find outside New England.
Here’s my chicken lo mein, hold the MSG. Yummy!
I am now a member of a very large Facebook group dedicated to the love of New England Style Chinese Food—“a regional Americanization of Chinese Food, which features such things as lobster sauce, pupu platters, and chow mein. This group serves as a place to share favorite restaurants, photos, and memories.”
Clearly Jewish families have many Christmas memories associated with this cuisine, and it’s sad when those restaurants inevitably close. For me, it was the Yangtze River in Lexington, Massachusetts. That was the go to place for my family, but also for the “music nerds” in my high school. We went there after all our musical performances. We could excitedly relive that evening’s performance of The Music Man or Annie Get Your Gun over a pile of fried apps as big as the snare drum from the pit orchestra.
Who knows, maybe the football team went to Yangtze River too, but they weren’t at my table. I was with the band, music and theater kids.
What’s a piece of media (book, movie, song) that changed how you see the world?
Weirdly the book that’s coming to mind is Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt, which came out in 1996 and won a Pulitzer. It seemed that everyone read it at the same time.
It’s a memoir of McCourt’s desperately impoverished childhood in Limerick, Ireland, after his family returned from Brooklyn. It follows young Frank navigating alcoholism, death, hunger, and humiliation, centered on his father’s chronic drunkenness and his resilient mother Angela.
McCourt was the same generation as my parents—born in the 1930s. Their parents were also poor Catholic immigrants, including some from Ireland to Brooklyn like McCourt.
I still think of that book when people talk about income inequality, tenements, an alcoholic father, or “food insecurity” (aka starvation) in a country of plenty.
I know they made a film out of it, but it’s the book that stayed with me.
If you could change the ending of any book, which one would it be?
I don’t really like this prompt.
To me, the most memorable ending of any book I’ve ever read was the final scene of John Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath. I wouldn’t change a thing.
In the spirit of being grateful for FOOD, here’s a photo of a “Pasta alla Gricia” that my husband made last night. He used guanciale (pig’s jowl) that my thoughtful son got him from an Italian store for Father’s Day.
Did I tell you that my husband’s first name is Mario and he’s of 100% Italian ancestry?
Which languages do you speak and how did that impact your life?
I’m a native English speaker which has facilitated my laziness in never becoming fluent in a second language. (That’s my excuse anyway.) I’m in awe of all the bi and tri linguals here on WordPress.
The closest I ever got to fluency in another language was Italian during my semester in Rome, but that’s mostly gone now. It was so long ago. If you don’t use it, you lose it.
I can also pull out some words and phrases in French and Spanish when necessary. But let’s face it, it is very rarely necessary. Nearly everyone I encounter, even when traveling, speaks English.
Exciting news! I won a free sandwich at my local convenience store & deli. The guy that called to tell me the good news is a native Arabic speaker, but his English is great, just like so many other immigrants.
What’s the best advice you’d give to someone younger than you?
I feel like the older generations have messed things up so thoroughly that our “best advice” should be taken with a grain of salt.
However, here are a couple of things my kids have brought up recently in a “you were right” kind of way:
My daughter said it was good that she got ALL her vaccines including the HPV series that some other parents declined. It prevents unnecessary complications later in life, including during pregnancy—a time when you absolutely do not need extra things to worry about!
So, I’d say get yourself and your kids all the vaccines you’re offered, including the annual flu and Covid shots. And people 50+, get the Shingles vaccine for God’s sake. It works and Shingles SUCK. (My husband had it and it was awful.)
In general, avoid the “I do my own research” crowd, especially followers of that quack RFK, Jr. Listen to actual doctors and scientists.
My son said he broke one of my “life rules” on a recent business trip and I laughed. He had forgotten to pack a bathing suit and it turned out his hotel had a lovely pool. I LOL’d, but it’s true, I always say pack a bathing suit, wherever you go. They take up solittlespace and you just never know when an inviting pool, pond, lake, stream, ocean or hot tub will present itself to you.
As a corollary to that, I think everyone should learn to swim well. Make your kids drown-proof. Get them swimming lessons, even if it’s a hassle.
I’m really leaning on all the brave people helping those of us who pay attention to the news get through the absolute degradation of our country that is the second Trump administration.
We recently got a huge dose of inspiration from the Obamas, with the opening of the Obama Presidential Center last week. Their speeches (especially Michelle’s) are incredible. Watching the follow-up videos of the Obamas greeting families and reading library books to children are fantastic too.
While I was listening to the Grand Opening Ceremony of the Obama Presidential Center, I worked on a watercolor portrait of Heather Cox Richardson that I had started a few weeks ago.
Did you know this mild-mannered American historian gets hate mail and threats for keeping us informed as she does? And yet, she keeps showing up on our small screens and writing her nightly “Letters from an American” which are read by hundreds of thousands (possibly millions) of people each day.
She said her 250 for 250 series is a labor of love for the country she loves. Be sure to watch a few of those short videos, when you get a chance.
This painting actually looks a bit better in person than in the photo. I like how the bookshelves and her pullover came out, but skin tones and face contours are really hard. I do like painting portraits, so I’m going to try to find some YouTube tutorials to practice this summer.
Which inspiring figure should I try to paint next? Should I give Michelle Obama a shot? (I’m actually a bit scared to try her at my current skill level.)
Try your best to remember people’s first names when you meet them or talk to them on the phone. (Yes, the phone! Use it as a phone, young people.)
Then, when you say goodbye (or see them again) use the name.
If you didn’t understand or forgot their name when they first said it, it’s OK to ask them to repeat it – once.
If it’s a difficult name, most people have a trick for you. For example, I met a guy named Goker at my local convenience store. (He works there. I see him a lot.) First time I met him, he said “Goker – rhymes with joker.” Now it’s locked in my brain.
Doing this will make you more engaging, likable, caring, and friendly.
Our fellow humans are really all we have to help us get through this life “successfully.” Learn their names.
What’s a book, movie, or TV show that you wish you could experience again for the first time?
I’ve written before about seeing Star Wars and the big movie musicals of the late 70s over and over again. Grease in particular was so fun to see on the big screen for the first time. The “teenagers” in the movie were a few years older than me and they made high school look like, well…a Hollywood musical. What could be better? And it’s hard to explain just how appealing young John Travolta was back in the day.
I had a poster similar to this in my bedroom (though mine was in color).
OK, I looked it up and Travolta was actually 24 when he played Danny Zuko. And Jeff Conaway, who played Kenickie, was 28. (So I was a 13-year old lusting after grown men twice my age.)
What’s a common misconception people have about happiness?
One thing I know about happiness is that it’s fleeting. There’s really no such thing as “happily ever after.” Things will change. They always do.
Here in the United States, millions had a happy day yesterday. New Yorkers reached a state of high ecstasy celebrating their championship basketball team—the Knicks. And we all got to see our inspirational former leader—America’s first Black President—Barack Obama open the new, magnificent Obama Presidential Center in Chicago. All of our living presidents and their wives were there, except the Incompetent Orange Fascist currently occupying Our White House. He was not invited. There were speeches and incredible musical performances by everyone from Jennifer Hudson to Eddie Vedder.
We got reminded of how far we’ve come and what the future could be, if we don’t give up. Michelle Obama’s speech was so beautiful it made me cry. Check it out here.
Combined with all the World Cup joy in Boston and beyond (thank you Tartan Army) and the successful Artemis 2 voyage earlier this year, I’m reminded that Americans can be happy again.
Also, I just read that the correct guy won the special election in the UK yesterday, which is also great news.
Read President Obama’s speech here. For me, the opening of the Obama Presidential Center was the real celebration of America’s 250th birthday.
NYT Cooking’s Salmon with Avocado and Cilantro salad. This is part of my eat more salad to lose weight quest. Unfortunately I followed it up with a big bowl of freshly baked peanut butter cookies and vanilla ice cream.
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