Gen X

Life’s not fair, but justice is worth working for.

~ MaryG ~ 2 Comments

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

Kids think things should be fair. Siblings, especially, are always going to their parents with equity gripes. “She got more” “ You like him better” “Why does she get to stay up later than me?” “How come he gets the last doughnut?”

The sooner you accept that life’s not fair, the easier it is.

Many people are born with tremendous disadvantages—from physical disabilities to impoverished circumstances. Others have horrible bouts of bad luck—from getting hit by drunk drivers to graduating high school amidst a world war or global pandemic.

Not only should you try to appreciate what you do have (because it’s more than a lot of people and it could change at any moment), but you should waste as little time as possible expecting things to be fair. They are not.

However, I believe it’s a worthy (and honestly, patriotic) goal to try improve truly inequitable circumstances for people.

“Liberty and justice for all” is going to take some real effort from all of us in the coming year. Voting is the least you can do! Here’s an organization I work with to increase voter turnout: https://votefwd.org/. We send handwritten letters to people encouraging them to get to the polls. It’s easy and fun to do with other people in groups.

Vote Forward letter writing pool party in Hollis, NH, July 2022

Sweet tooth

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What are your favorite types of foods?
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I don’t enjoy cooking much, or even really eating. I’m not a big foodie. I didn’t cook at all until I became a mother, and then it suddenly felt like part of the job description. One day, after my husband was back at work and I was home all day with the baby, I remember thinking, “I should really cook something for dinner.” Going to the grocery store with a baby was an adventure all its own. It could take hours just to get out the door with the grocery list, car seat, and well-rested, pre-fed, happy baby, dressed in appropriate clothing for the weather. Picking out the items, while seeing all those people, could be a fun morning activity, if everything went smoothly.

Despite not caring all that much about dinner, I’ve always loved desserts and sweet foods in general. As a kid, I would always order french toast in a breakfast restaurant – never eggs. When I was pregnant, I craved baked goods and had lengthy dreams about cakes, pies, brownies, cookies, congo bars and other bakery items. I’d wake up and have apple pie or carrot cake for breakfast, if we had it.

Now that I’m an empty-nester, I’ve been trying to make something a bit interesting for dinner about once a week–something beyond our usual standbys (roast chicken, turkey meatloaf, pasta and meat sauce). I’m finding I still gravitate to the recipes with a sweet ingredient or two. I made the NYT Cooking’s Skillet Meatballs With Peaches, Basil and Lime (weird, but good) and this week I will be attempting (for the second time), the Silver Palate’s Chicken Marbella. It contains both prunes and brown sugar, thereby addressing my sweet tooth.

If ever there was a GenX/Baby Boomer crossover recipe, Chicken Marbella is it. Many people love it. I’ve had it and liked it. But the first time I tried it, something went horribly wrong with the oregano. Wish me luck.

My version of Skillet Meatballs With Peaches, Basil and Lime

Moms Decide

~ MaryG ~ Leave a comment

Do you see yourself as a leader?

I don’t see myself as a leader, as much as a decisive person. I can make a decision. I don’t waffle much, for better or worse.

I have no direct reports at work, but I’m a respected individual contributor. When my kids were growing up, I worked part-time as a consultant and developed a specific area of expertise, which is still my field.

GenX and older might remember when President George W. Bush famously said “I’m the decider” in 2006, when the press was questioning him on the wisdom of keeping Don Rumsfeld as Secretary of Defense.

Turns out it was a bad decision (in my opinion), but I borrowed W’s phrase many times in my life as a mom. It was my #1 answer to the never ending question: why do we have to go to swim practice? It was a nice alternative to the pre-Bush answer: “because I said so”

Swim meet, 2007

The Z Word

~ MaryG ~ 5 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite word?
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I am a church-goer, but not a Christian. For many years I have attended Unitarian Universalist (UU) churches in Massachusetts. Nearly every town has one. My #1 reason for going to church is to sing in the choir. My #2 reason is to hear a good sermon. I’ve been lucky to have some very smart ministers who consistently deliver thoughtful, interesting sermons.

My current minister opened the church year last Sunday (UU churches take summers off) talking about how she likes learning foreign words that have no real English equivalent. “Esperanza,” she said means both hope and waiting in Spanish. She said “expectancy” was the closest English equivalent.

That got me thinking about other words like that. In Italy, they say “prego” all the time. Sometimes they say it twice in a row – or even three times. It can mean anything from please, to what, to “after you.” On a trip to Italy in 2009, my family got a quadruple prego, which meant “hurry up and get on this bus NOW.”

There are a couple of German words that have made their way into English that I really like. One is “schadenfreude.” So fun to say. And I mean, let’s face it, Facebook basically required the adoption of “schadenfreude” into English. (Show me 67 pictures of your perfect family Thanksgiving and you’re setting yourself up for some schadenfreude. Sorry!) But the one I really love is ZEITGEIST. It’s SO fun to say and to think about. Something in the zeitgeist helped make Barbie the top-grossing movie of 2023. I wonder which new streaming shows will truly capture the zeitgeist of the 1980s?

My husband knows I like “zeitgeist” and texted me at work to let me know that Dana Bash had just used it on CNN. About what? Hunter Biden.

My family in Rome where we got a quadruple “prego”

Nothing Terrible Happens

~ MaryG ~ 1 Comment
Daily writing prompt
Describe your ideal week.
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At age 58, my ideal week is one in which nothing terrible happens.

Twenty-two years ago today, several thousand Americans, including 343 NYC firefighters, went to work thinking it would be a normal Tuesday and never made it home. That was a horrible week.

No school shootings, no terrible floods, no massive fires, no acts of terrorism, no insurrections, no friends or family diagnosed with cancer, no pandemics, no big news at all. That’s ideal.

If I can also manage to close all three Activity Rings on my Apple Watch every day, that’s a bonus.

This is the award you get from Apple Watch for a “Perfect Week“

From Billie Jean to Coco

~ MaryG ~ 3 Comments

Name the professional athletes you respect the most and why.

Although I haven’t watched much lately, tennis is the sport I’ve probably watched the most. I played on a few tennis teams in high school and was somewhat competitive for a couple of years. I can really appreciate how hard it is to hit a precise backhand and powerful serve.

As a kid, I liked watching Björn Borg (the big brooding Swede) and bratty John McEnroe. But it’s the American women who I’ve really come to appreciate. From Billie Jean King and Chrissie Evert to Venus and Serena Williams (the greatest ever), these women are groundbreakers, leaders, and role models.

And now Coco Gauff. If you didn’t see it, check out her trophy acceptance speech at last night’s US Open Women’s Singles championship. Wow, what grace and respect she showed to her family, supporters, event organizers, competitor, and predecessors in the sport. And she’s only 19! The moment when she thanks Billie Jean for fighting for equal prize money was the highlight for me.

Summer reading

~ MaryG ~ 1 Comment

How do you relax?

I like to lay on the beach with a good book. It’s usually a hassle to get to the beach in New England (driving, parking, etc), but once I’m there, I find it relaxing.

We had a discussion about “summer reads” in my book group. I was reluctant to read anything too traumatic or depressing in August. Other people made no distinction between summer reading and regular reading.

Here’s the book I read at the beach in August. It certainly looked the part. Very beachy!

REVIEW: It liked it. It was a little darker than the cover would have you think. It was a good complement to the “Summer of Barbie.” The main character is a woman (a scientist) severely hampered by the boxes American society forced women into in the 1950s and 60s. There is one central tragedy, but it has a key “summer read” element: a happy ending.

Yeah, it’s politics

~ MaryG ~ 1 Comment
Daily writing prompt
Are you holding a grudge? About?
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I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact that people I know–close family members–voted for Trump. That’s it. That’s the grudge. Sadly, it permanently changed how I feel about them.

Given how excited I was feeling about voting for the first woman president (in my pantsuit) on November 8, 2016, it was the Access Hollywood tape that I cannot believe they overlooked in order to pull the lever for Trump. In 2020, it was just everything. I feel like their decision revealed a fundamental difference in values so deep that I never really knew them.

So now we just don’t talk about anything remotely political, but that’s hard. Small talk can be tedious with people you know (or thought you knew) well. It’s a real rift and that’s sad.

My daughter and me in Washington, D.C. on January 21, 2017 after the Women’s March. We’re smiling, but fury was the mood of the day.

Back in the USSR

~ MaryG ~ 3 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Share a story about the furthest you’ve ever traveled from home.
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I traveled to Russia (then called the Soviet Union or USSR) in January 1987 with a group of students and professors from my college. It was a Winter Break trip. We left just after New Year’s Day 1987. It was led by two professors of Russian History with whom I had taken classes. We went to Moscow and St. Petersburg (then called Leningrad), as well as some smaller cities–Suzdal and Vladimir.

I’m sure it was a fascinating trip, but my main memory is of how cold it was. It was really F***ing COLD.

This is the United Press International archives (UPI.com) report from January 8, 1987:

MOSCOW — An Arctic cold snap with temperatures lower than minus 40 degrees has gripped most of central Russia, slowing life in Moscow to a frozen crawl. The daytime temperature in Moscow is now almost four times colder than the average home freezer. A record low of minus 45 degrees hit Leningrad overnight and Moscow recorded minus 39, close to the 1940 record of minus 44. The official Tass news agency said the first week of January 1987 was the coldest recorded in Moscow in 35 years. Auto traffic in Moscow was virtually non-existent as a frozen mist, triggered by the snow on the ground being warmer than the air, rolled over the city. Ice fishermen tried their luck in the frozen Moscow River, but few others ventured outside unless absolutely necessary.

I remember we were warned to keep every inch of skin covered while we were outdoors so as not to get frostbite. We kept bottles of vodka in our chilly hotel rooms which we slugged for warming purposes (mainly). Other memories include eating coarse brown bread with butter and caviar, the museum-like Moscow subway, and fur hats. We all bought fur hats.

Leningrad in the frozen mist on a frozen river
The Moscow Metro
Our group playing outside in Vladimir – very briefly!
A bit of sun in Suzdal

Related post:

Thursday Doors—The Kremlin

Budapest 1987

Swimming pools, movie stars

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What does your ideal home look like?
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GenXers will recognize “swimming pools, movie stars” as the last line of the theme song from the Beverly Hillbillies, a TV show that was popular when we were young children. Basically, some poor people find oil on their property in Appalachia, get rich, and move to “Cally-phonia” in a dilapidated truck. It was pretty dumb. The theme song was definitely the best part of the show.

From the Beverly Hillbillies to Downton Abby to the Kardashians, I’ll admit to being fascinated by the lifestyles of the very wealthy, particularly their homes. Honestly, most of them do not look that comfortable. They’re too big. Everything is so spread out. Kim Kardashian is basically living in the Louvre. She has to walk miles just to get to the back of her own closet.

BUT, it would really be cool to have a big swimming pool and a view. Those are the two features I would have, if money were no object.

Here are a few photos from a visit to Newport, Rhode Island in July. We toured Marble House, one of the Gilded Age mansions. And yes, of course I watched “The Gilded Age” on HBO and am eagerly awaiting Season 2 starting on October 29. My husband likes to count the number of times the word “luncheon” is said per episode.

Marble House (Newport) – one of the filming locations for Julian Fellows’ The Gilded Age
Marble House dining room – the very definition of “gilded”
Lest you think Mrs. Vanderbilt and her friends didn’t discuss serious things at their luncheons, here are her Women’s Suffrage dishes.