I’ve mentioned (about 100 times) that I’m turning 60 this year. And so are all my friends from high school and college. We were all born in 1965–the first official year of GenX, which is usually labeled as people born from 1965 to 1980. Personally, I don’t really think 1980 belongs with us. I think GenX should be 1964-1979. We’ll take Michelle Obama and Kamala Harris (both born in 1964) and the millennials can have book-banning Ron DeSantis (born 1980), but I digress…
That’s right, the coolest generation is turning 60.
One of the coolest members of GenX—actor/writer Pamela Adlon (b. 1966)—sets her daughter straight in “Better Things”
Travel seems to be a top priority for people turning 60, but my friend Susan is doing something different for her birthday this weekend. She’s going on a silent retreat. This is a first. I’ve not heard of anyone else spending a weekend in silence for their milestone birthday. I like it though. It’s unexpected and exactly what she wants. Maybe she will have some sort of A-Ha moment that she will share with us when she gets back.
Cheryl Strayed (born in 1968) from her bestselling memoir “Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail.”
My husband and I are major consumers of “prestige TV.” We get all the channels and watch all the shows. (Severance, Succession, Hacks, The Last of Us, The Bear, Handmaids Tale, etc.) We watch together and we talk about the shows. TV is our thing.
Sometimes a show is too violent for me, so I relinquish it to my husband to watch while I’m at choir or doing something else. (For example, I bailed on The Sopranos fairly early on and I never watched Breaking Bad.) I always have a few shows I’m watching on my own, because I stay up later than him. Currently, I’m watching Marie Antoinette on PBS Passport on my own. Downton Abbey is another example of a show that my husband didn’t watch with me, though he fully embraced The Gilded Age, so it’s not that he won’t watch period pieces. (We’re big fans of Wolf Hall.)
We plan our TV watching out in advance. Sometimes, a very important show—like last night’s White Lotus season 3 finale—needs to be watched live (rather than on demand) in order to avoid spoilers, which will undoubtedly be everywhere today!
We fully intended to watch the White Lotus season finale live last night, but then my husband got tired and wanted to save it. Obviously I wouldn’t watch it without him, so now I will spend the entire day trying not to read anything about it, which basically will require staying offline altogether.
So, as the stock market crashes (I’m assuming another Black Monday is underway) and people are distracting themselves by discussing whatever happened on White Lotus last night, I will try to finish reading my library book today.
Ironically, the book is Intermezzo by Sally Rooney (author of Normal People) and I could totally see it getting made into a Hulu series (like Normal People did) that I would end up watching on my own because my husband doesn’t like shows that are too “relationshipy.”
Comments closed due to abject fear of White Lotus spoilers.
As I prepare to turn sixty in 77 days, I am working on my Bucket List (things I want to do and places I want to see before I “kick the bucket”). I’ve always been one to keep a “to do” list (I like getting stuff done), but this one is fun. I started it shortly after my dear friend Carla unexpectedly got sick and passed away in 2022 at age 57.
I try to really think about places and experiences that call to me, not just rack up instagrammable, exotic locations. I have reasons for wanting to see these places. For the bigger trips, I try to keep the budget to $10,000 (or less) for the two of us for a full week. I know that’s a lot of money for a lot of folks, but believe me, I know people that spend a whole hell of a lot more than that on their luxury vacations. I would say we are “budget conscious” travelers, but I will splurge on special experiences like dinner in the Eiffel Tower or a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon.
Is there any other foreign country that looms quite so large in the American psyche? I don’t think so!
Like millions of other Americans, I am a descendant of poor Irish immigrants. My great grandmother Mary Barry was from Dublin.
My mother’s father’s mother, Mary Barry, with six of her children, including my maternal grandfather Henry (far right). She was born in Dublin, Ireland in 1880 and died in Queens, NY in 1952. She immigrated to America, through Ellis Island, in 1903. She was 23 years old and arrived with three US dollars to her name.
This trip to Ireland will mark my first group tour experience. We’ve never been on a weeklong tour before. I usually book the hotels and do all the planning myself, but since it’s my birthday, I wanted to give myself a break and have someone else do the planning.
I looked at many types of tours (including on bikes and boats), but ultimately decided to try a Rick Steves tour. Good old Rick—PBS super nerd! I love his guidebooks and his travel philosophy in general. Plus, he is a well known weed-smoking liberal, so the chances of having any Trumpers in our group are slim.
So now, I need to start reading more about Ireland. I’ve already watched many of the recent TV shows and movies set there, including the excellent miniseries about The Troubles—Say Nothing.
Our tour is in the Republic of Ireland only, but I’m contemplating taking a trip up to Belfast (Northern Ireland, UK) at the end of the trip. We will be staying a few extra days in Dublin, where our son will join us, so I need to make some plans for that time.
Please send your Dublin recommendations and any advice you might have about planning a day trip to Belfast.
Also, books! What should I read to help truly understand the heart of this country and its people, from whom so many of us Americans descend?
I’m open to the classics, as well as modern fiction, historical fiction and nonfiction.
OK, I’ve deactivated my Facebook as a first step in trying not to care as much about the election. I’ve never done that before, but apparently it can be reactivated easily. I was just seeing way too many upsetting posts, particularly from feminist groups documenting the horrors that women in the Trump Abortion Ban States are enduring.
Also, I’m done reading The Washington Post. My husband reads it daily, so we won’t cancel it, but honestly, fuck Jeff Bezos. I’m so tired of these asshole white male billionaires and their outsized influence. And while I’m at it, fuck Joe Rogan too. Did you know that little shit is only 5’7”? I am taller than Joe Rogan. And of course, it goes without saying…FUCK ELON MUSK.
Aaaah, now that that’s off my chest…
Back to my efforts to not care about anything other than my own inner circle.
I have some fun things to look forward to:
-Luncheon today: I’m attending a ladies lunch this afternoon. (Actually, I think there’ll be one man there, but he’s cool.) The guests are all church friends of mine so there is absolutely no chance that any of them are Trumpers.
-Babysitting next weekend: My husband and I are going to babysit our adorable, perfect infant granddaughter for a few hours next weekend! I cannot wait to see that little angel again. I can already tell that having grandchildren is going to the absolute best part of being 60+.
-Book group meeting next week: I get to see one of my favorite groups of women. I am so fortunate to have this small group of book-loving friends with whom I can be completely open and always feel supported. (We are reading Solito by Javier Zamora this month and I need to finish it this weekend.)
Also, I had a realization that if Trump wins the election, I’m probably going to seek out a paid position (perhaps a part-time one). I’m going to need something else to focus on, other than the news and volunteering for lost causes. And I think I can still make some decent money in my field, which would mean more resources for the people I love.
I bought an octopus from a glass blowing artist. She’s just under a foot tall.
Marcella
I hadn’t been planning to buy an octopus, but then I read the book “Remarkably Bright Creatures” by Shelby Van Pelt, a novel about a grieving woman and a one-eyed Giant Pacific Octopus named Marcellus. After that, I visited a glass studio where the artist makes all types of sea creatures, waves, shells and other things. I was a bit confused why all his octopi had two eyes. It turns out I was not the only one left a bit confused about this by the book:
I can’t deal with a group larger than eight for dinner. I’d probably invite a bunch of creative types, especially funny ones. They might be hard to cook for, but the conversation would be entertaining.
Maybe…
Bowen Yang
Barbara Kingsolver (She’s the only guest that concerns me. A Pulitzer Prize-winning writer would be an amazing guest and I’ve read most of her books, but does she watch TV? Could she deal with all these funny people?)
Kate McKinnon
Greta Gerwig
Wanda Sykes
Quinta Brunson
Matthew Gilbert (retiring TV critic for The Boston Globe—I’m going to miss him so much!)
Speaking of buckets…way to go Boston Celtics! 🏀☘️ NBA championship #18.
This morning’s Boston Globe
I started a Bucket List (I’ve heard some say “Life List”) in the notepad app on my phone a couple years ago. I update it whenever the mood strikes. Sometimes a TV show, movie or book will shake up the order. For example, I read a book called “Independent People” by Haldór Laxness (a Nobel prize winner in literature) which resulted in Iceland getting booted from my list.
Here’s the latest version: Grand Canyon ✅ Paris ✅ Finger Lakes & Hot Air Balloon ✅ Tanglewood Yellowstone National Park Ireland NYC comedy club or SNL Southern Italy (Naples; Amalfi Coast; Cinque Terra) and maybe Sicily Sweden Return to Paris in warmer weather and see the sites we missed Argentina? Return to SoCal – LA/San Diego; Santa Monica; Venice Beach; Yosemite; Joshua Tree? Key West Austin TX Greece Acadia National Park
An image from my last trip to LA (you know, the city that’s won 17 NBA championships)
The year was 1988 and George H.W. Bush was on the ballot.
My friend Julie (the eventual artist) made sure we visited the Watts Towers in South Los Angeles.
The famous Watts Towers in LA—a renegade 33-year folk art project by Italian immigrant construction worker and tile mason Simon “Sam” Rodia
Apparently some part of it was closed that day, but we got the idea. It’s very cool—a labor of love.
Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?
I remember having “Pat the Bunny” as a very young child.
This favorite book for babies was first published in 1940.
Books by Dr. Seuss and his protégé P.D. Eastman (“Go Dog Go”) were good for both learning to read and being read to. Horton was particularly fascinating, perched on that nest while lazy Mayzie flew off to Palm Beach!
As I got older, nothing beat Judy Blume for real talk about real things that I actually cared about. “Deenie” was a favorite and of course, “Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret?”
Book banners like to target Judy Blume books, which is all the more reason to keep buying them, reading them, and giving them to your kids and grandkids.
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck gave me a much better understanding of the Depression and the Dust Bowl and that whole chapter in US history. The take home message that people were poor to the point of starving, with no safety net, is something that stayed with me.
Stamped from the Beginning by Ibram X. Kendi was not an easy read, but I’m glad I made it through. It was one of several books that became bestsellers during the worldwide racial justice reckoning that followed the murder of George Floyd in May 2020. It’s a survey of the history of anti-Black racist ideas throughout American history. It helped lift the veil from my eyes.
I was having a hard time making it through this very dense and challenging material, so I started a short-term nonfiction book club with two friends over Zoom. I’m glad we read it together in the summer of 2020.
The Handmaids Tale by Margaret Atwood came out when I was in college and was a huge bestseller. This dystopian novel describes a Christian fundamentalist theocratic regime in the former United States where some women are forced to conceive and bear children in the most horrific way. It really motivated my involvement with the pro-choice movement of the 1980s. I recently read the sequel: The Testaments, which was published in 2019.
So much of Handmaid’s Tale horror has re-surfaced and resonated loudly since the Dobbs decision by the MAGA Supreme Court. It’s scary—and infuriating.
This prompt took me straight to FOOD. Maybe it’s because I just listened to “I’m Glad My Mom Died” by Jennette McCurdy—the bestselling memoir about a child star with an abusive mother and a really major eating disorder.
Having it all can mean the entire pint of ice cream, the whole row of Oreos, the full bag of chips. And yes, sadly, it is attainable.
Not to make light of eating disorders, but do my fellow GenXers remember those ubiquitous Alka-Seltzer ads? Before the famous “plop, plop, fizz, fizz” jingle, there was this guy (and his long-suffering wife) saying “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.”
To this day, I don’t think I’ve ever taken an Alka-Seltzer. They say it’s for “upset stomach and headache,” which sounds like code for a hangover. Did Madison Avenue intend for adults to read between the lines? Have you ever taken an Alka-Seltzer? And if so, was it because you were hung?
Jennette McCurdy (right) and her iCarly co-stars. Her award-winning memoir “I’m Glad My Mom Died” has sold over 2 million copies and been translated into ten foreign languages.
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