![A logo for "50 Happens," [a site dedicated to Gen X women with children and grandchildren] [who embrace life's challenges with humor and resilience], [featuring a modern and uplifting design] [that embodies strength and positivity] [with an elegant and playful style] [and a harmonious blend of colors like pink, fuchsia, purple, and blue].](https://50happens.blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/img-5uorrxvwartomopcpuhjfjd0.png?w=300)
Veering into dangerous, personal, none-of-my-business territory here…
I know very well how difficult life is for young people these days. Truly unaffordable for many—especially those with debt. Combined with global warming, gun violence, rising authoritarianism, and a million other things, there are many excellent reasons to not procreate. I get it.
Also, some are not blessed with good enough health and/or a supportive partner in the child bearing years—two excellent reasons to remain childless.
BUT, I will say (and did say to my nephew and his fiancé), life is short, but it can also be looooong. You might live to be 90+ like my parents. That’s 50 years beyond 40! That’s a long damn time to not have children, and therefore grandchildren, and even great grandchildren.
My nephew’s response was that you can’t have “just one baby,” so therefore they aren’t going to have any kids. This rationale is misguided in my opinion. I think only children are wonderful. Many GenXers had just one child and they’re great. Three-person families are fantastic. My book group was comprised of all women with just one awesome daughter (until I changed my mind and had a second child later in life). I love my son beyond words, but if I’d never had him, we’d be a happy family regardless. No sibling rivalry or fights and more disposable income. We probably would’ve taken a friend on vacation with us, so my daughter would’ve always had someone to play with.
And let’s face it, adult siblings are a mixed bag. Some get along. Many do not. And things can get complicated when parents get old and die, if the siblings are not on the same page. In some ways, one supportive, well-adjusted adult child is better than two or more who do not get along.
So yes, you CAN have just one child. And if you choose to remain childless, that’s fine. We love you still. But please do not compare your dog (or cat or goldfish) to our kids and grandkids. It’s really not the same. Like…at all.
50 Happens 
I get your sentiments 100%. Children are truly a blessing, now that I have a partner worth procreating with, let’s see! I’m glad that you acknowledged all the reasons why people should not have a child yet too as the world doesn’t need anymore struggling broken homes, and abandoned/neglected children.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for your comment Rochelle. I can only imagine how absolutely adorable and well-loved any baby of yours would be! 🥰
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree with all of your reasoning points, and I have only one child. To think I’d have not had him simply because he’s an only child is so absurd that I can’t come up with a metaphor.
LikeLiked by 4 people
It’s really so misguided—this idea that you’d “owe” your baby a sibling. I love reading about your terrific relationship with your son on your blog. I’ve honestly never met an only child that didn’t turn out great.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah. Ask my son, the compassionate, community-driven, birder and friend to many, plus PhD in physics if he’d rather have not been born because he’s bereft of a sibling, and see what he says.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Being an only child myself…. I highly recommend it. My husband is one of nine, and let’s just say more is not always merrier.
😉
LikeLiked by 5 people
Nine! Goodness. That’s a whole different animal. I knew a few families with eight. Getting enough food was job #1. You were definitely better off 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Of course you can have only one child. I only have one. Simply, because you can’t always plan life 🤷🏼♀️.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Totally agree. And it’s hard to explain in words to prospective parents what they’ll be missing, if they opt out. It’s like you’re either a parent or you’re not…the number of children doesn’t matter.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely. And while I do still love my childless friends and relatives – I also have to admit that they all become a tiny bit odd & eccentric with time… 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
I was the only child my parents had.
I thought one time I would have at least one child. But that did not happen and with things that have gone on in the past relationships, it will never happen.
I am single and I am childless. And that is how it is going to be, until I die.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I have two close friends who are also single and childless because it just didn’t work out for them. One went through a grieving period at age 50, because of the finality of menopause. Both have good networks of friends and seem to be truly thriving in their 60s and 70s, but I know it’s not easy. I would go to great lengths to help either of them because they’ve both been such good friends to me through the years.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Not even goldfish! 😦
LikeLiked by 2 people
🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
Many good ways to live. For some, it involves having children. For others, it doesn’t. Very glad that women now have the option to choose. Once upon a time, there was not much choice if you were married. And marriage was really the major option for women unless like Emma in Jane Austen’s novel, the woman was independently wealthy. Only a lucky few were in that category. Sometimes, things do change for the better.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great point. Women do have the option to choose (in some states, for now) as they should. The Forced Birth/Abortion Ban movement seems to be having the opposite of the desired effect – the birthrate is at its lowest point in decades.
LikeLiked by 1 person