My 80s friend

At Christmas dinner yesterday, my father told me he had run into my old friend Debbie at the fish market. They recognized each other and exchanged some quick pleasantries.

Debbie and I were neighborhood friends who ended up becoming close friends for many years. She knew my parents well and I knew her family too. Her dad was a great guy. We took several trips to California and Florida in our late teens and twenties. We did a fair number of edgy things together including lots of underage drinking, shoplifting, dine-n-dashing, and at least one crazy 80s Spring Break trip to Fort Lauderdale. (Wet t-shirt contest anyone?) Debbie was 18 months older than me (a year ahead of me in high school) and liked to party and dance. I’m sure my first nightclub experience was with her. Even though she was a true redhead, she loved the sun like I did and we went to the beach as often as possible. We went skiing a few times too and once spun out in my mother’s car driving in a snowstorm. We did a 180 and hit the guardrail. (Debbie was driving at the time and we were fine.) In fact, we wanted to carry on with our ski trip with one headlight dangling, but when we called my parents from a gas station, they made us come home.

Debbie and I stayed friends for many years through a variety of life experiences including her being severely burned in a freak accident. (I remember visiting her in Shriner’s Burn Center where I saw the most horrifically scarred young children.) We knew each other’s deepest, darkest secrets. We attended each other’s weddings and then drifted apart as we became mothers and got busy raising kids. Still, we sent Christmas cards and occasionally saw each other in person.

Then, at some point during the second Obama administration her right-leaning political posts on Facebook caused a tiff between us. We unfriended each other and that was that. Some years later, I felt badly about it, but figured she had probably morphed into a Trump supporter, so what would be the purpose of reaching out. We were too different by then.

You know that expression about some friends being for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime? Well, at one point I might’ve thought we’d be friends for a lifetime, but it turns out we were friends for a season. And our season was the 1980s. Big time.

Christmas 1989 (towards the end of our close friendship)

If I had to pick one song that tends to trigger a Debbie memory, it would be Kool & the Gang’s Celebration. I picture us dancing around in front of a mirror, sipping some alcohol, while we made our hair as big & fluffy as possible for whatever came next.

Freedom

What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?

OK, one reason I like my blog is that I feel free to say what I want, including about politics.

In the old days (before Trump), I thought Facebook and other emerging social media was fun. Find old friends and classmates, reminisce, post pics, share news, chat about nonsense, etc.

Then everything went to hell and I had real and permanent falling outs (fallings out?) with the Trumpers in my sphere, as did millions of others.

I’m still on Facebook, but I try not to post too many political things, with abortion access being an exception. (I will not shut my trap about that one until it’s no longer an issue or I’m dead.)

People who read and comment on my blog (and vice versa) are 99% online friends only. I will likely never meet them in real life. But there’s a freedom in that. They’re choosing to read my thoughts, and I theirs.

With 89 days left until we (hopefully) send Donald Trump packin’ for good, my Facebook and Instagram friends (all people I know or have known in real life) have my blog to thank for my relative level of self-control.

So, I can say this on my blog: I am loving the energy right now. From Kamala entering a packed and cheering rally to Beyoncé’s “Freedom” to the Tim Walz dad jokes. It’s soooo good. This is the kind of optimistic, joyful, caring country I want my granddaughter (coming soon) to grow up in.

Big Dad Energy on Threads