Our first house was a somewhat dilapidated antique outside of Boston. It had a “city yard” – about a quarter acre of rutted dirt and weeds. My husband Mario transformed it into an adorable garden and play area, complete with extensive stonework, including a patio and stone wall.
I take credit for none of it. He lifted all those rocks and pavers himself. Italians are known for their wonderful stonework. I think he got that gene. He also got the Italian “green thumb” gene.
My daughter driving her car on the stone patio, 1997ish
About 5 years later, my son on the same patio with the stonewall behind him
The patio was the perfect size for toddlers and their large plastic toys. I could watch them from my kitchen window.
Our late cat Kimba the White Lion on the stone wall
My husband grew all of these vegetables himself in that tiny yard one summer.
As I’ve mentioned, I’m a fan of fancy artisanal and European chocolates, but in terms of widely-available American candy, there’s one clear winner and it’s Reese’s. The fact that the two flavors – milk chocolate and peanut butter – taste great together cannot be denied.
I don’t know which Don Draper/Madison Avenue ad agency came up with the original commercials, but they were genius.
1979 Reese’s TV commercial
I have memories of dipping chocolate bars into open jars of Skippy or Jif, just like in the ads. I also remember when Friendly’s came out with their jumbo peanut butter cup sundaes, which had both hot fudge and peanut butter sauce. They were amazing. Freshman year of college, my late friend Carla and I loved nothing better than smoking a joint, then sharing one of those babies at our neighborhood Friendly’s. They definitely contributed to my freshman 15. (Somehow Carla never gained an ounce.)
The Friendly’s Peanut Butter Cup Sundae
Judging from the trick-or-treaters I got this past Halloween, Reese’s have not lost their appeal. They were gone first from my offerings – and I had extras. Again and again, they were chosen over KitKats, Snickers, plain Hershey bars, and White Chocolate with Oreo (Cookies n’ Creme) bars.
Thank goodness my tree nut allergy does not include peanuts, which are technically legumes.
Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.
I don’t know about my ideal day, but last night was pretty much my ideal Grammys. GenX, am I right?
I mean, Tracy Chapman performing “Fast Car” with Luke Combs (her voice still sounds great and she looks fantastic), Annie Lenox singing “Nothing Compares To You” in memory of Sinéad, Fantasia Barrino as Tina Turner, Billy Joel with his first new song in 30 years, and JONI MITCHELL absolutely wrecking us with that rendition of “Both Sides Now” – at age 80, after a brain aneurysm.
Well done, Grammys.
I also give two thumbs up to the new Netflix documentary “The Greatest Night in Pop.” It’s about the night they recorded We Are the World in 1985, which won Lionel Richie and Michael Jackson a Grammy for best song.
A seated Joni Mitchell performing Both Sides Now, with Brandi Carlile and other musicians at the Grammys last night 😭
GenX icon Tracy Chapman, age 59, singing “Fast Car” at the 2024 Grammy Awards
This blog has been more about looking back. Nostalgia. Turning 50 will do that. At 50, you know that your life is likely more than half over. Only 0.02% of people in the United States live to be 100.
Now, with 50 in the rear view and 60 fast approaching, I’m paying much more attention to what older people are doing, rather than trying to keep up with the latest trends. (One of the great things about leaving my job in November was that I never had to learn the new software tool that they were about to roll out. It was supposedly going to make things easier, but was already causing fights.)
Yes, there are many hardships in aging, particularly health-related ones, and all the losses–friends, parents, spouses. If you were lucky and never felt true, aching grief before age 50, it’s coming and there’s really nothing you can do to prepare for it.
So, I was basically ABC’s target audience for The Golden Bachelor. I am not a card-carrying member of “Bachelor Nation,” but I did watch a couple seasons early on. I was captivated by Trista, the very first Bachelorette who is now 51(!) and happily married to Ryan, the guy she met on the show. I watched their wedding on live TV twenty years ago. The intervening seasons did not interest me, especially when the son of a friend was cast and I learned a bit about what goes on behind the scenes. Spoiler alert: nothing is real. All the situations are staged.
STILL, I could not resist The Golden Bachelor, which featured 72-year old widower Gerry and twenty-two women over 60 competing for his love. Many, including the “winner” Theresa (a widow), were over 70. Yes, there was a lot of cringe. Yet, I cried at Gerry & Theresa’s televised wedding last night. When their daughters spoke about how they wanted their parents to find happiness again, after such profound sorrow. Theresa’s daughter urged her mother to “put him first,” which seemed so generous given that Theresa is a highly-involved grandmother. The other thing that was inspiring was the (seemingly) real comraderie between the women. Even the runner-up (for lack of a better word), seemed truly happy to “celebrate love.”
So, thanks ABC. Looking back can be fun, but as Theresa said at one point, “there’s always something to look forward to.”
One challenge I have is being unproductive. I’m lazy by nature. I can sit on my sofa for hours in the morning – drinking coffee and doing things on my phone or laptop. Winter tends to exacerbate this inertia problem.
Now that I’m not working, and the holidays are over, I’m going to have to create a more productive morning routine.
I’ll get on that – tomorrow.
My husband and I had a good laugh about this painting by John Singer Sargent at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. It’s called “Nonchaloir” or Repose. Let’s just say, I could’ve been Sargent’s model for this one.
Happy 2024 to all.
I caught the last hour of GenXers Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen getting drunk on live TV. This segment, when John Mayer calls in from a cat cafe in Tokyo, is just great live television. 😂
OK, I cheated and googled it. A fantastic photo journey through 1965 from The Atlantic came up. Check it out here.
The eldest members of Generation X arrived in a big year – Selma, Vietnam, The Beatles, the first moon walk, the Voting Rights Act. I did not know that Winston Churchill died in 1965, or that the US occupied the Dominican Republic that year.
Now I’ll admit to a horribly vain thing that I do: I keep track of a select list of female celebrities – born in 1965 – for the sole purpose of watching them age and comparing myself to them. I’ll literally pause a TV show and ask my husband if Sarah Jessica Parker looks older or younger than me. He knows the right answer is always “about the same as you.” You don’t stay married for 30+ years without learning basic shit.
Here’s my “born in 1965” vanity comparison list with birthdays. I was born in June, so I’m within 6 months of each of them.
Kyra Sedgwick, 8/19
Diane Lane, 1/22
Sarah Jessica Parker, 3/25
Elizabeth Hurley, 6/10
Brooke Shields, 5/31
Kristin Davis, 2/23
Paulina Porizkova, 4/9
Viola Davis, 8/11
Julia Ormond, 1/4
Maura Tierney, 2/3
Marlee Matlin, 8/24
Shania Twain, 8/28
Linda Evangelista, 5/10
I seem to have a special fondness for my fellow GenX Gemini, Brooke Shields. (She was looking at colleges the same time I was and visited some of the same schools.) I really enjoyed the recent documentary about her (Pretty Baby). She’s keepin it real and, in my opinion, looks better than ever.
Wow, tough prompt. There are different kinds of happiness. There’s contentment, relief, satisfaction, pure joy, thrill, etc. I was relieved when I woke up in my warm bed this morning and realized again (re-realized?) that someone I truly dislike is out of my life forever. Ahhhhh.
I’m content sitting here looking at my beautiful December delivery from BloomsyBox.com. I’ll be satisfied when we finish our Christmas puzzle, but – horror or horrors – it appears that a piece may have disappeared into the vaccum cleaner. Lifting up my voice with others in song is pure joy, especially when I feel like our choir is really nailing it and the congregation responds. Travel can be thrilling. My very first glimpse of the Arc de Triomphe in Paris from the taxi on the way to the hotel was a thrill. There it was – the real thing.
My first glimpse of the Arc de Triomphe from a Paris taxi was a thrill. Now that I look at photo, I’m remembering our driver was named Clovis and was French-Haitian. He had some interesting objects hanging from his rear view mirror.
But there’s nothing quite like laughter – tears in your eyes laughter – to really make you feel happy. Here’s where I admit that I enjoy smoking weed, always have. I have so many great memories of smoking a joint and giggling with my dear departed friend Carla. Looking into her big beautiful eyes and just cracking up about something. I’m not saying I need weed to laugh helplessly, but it does tend to have that effect on me. Most recently, I smoked (well, vaped) and watched a really funny Netflix stand-up comedy special by Pete Holmes (whom I’d never heard of before) and laughed out loud. White, straight, male stand-up comedians can go either way for me – I either hate them or I love them. Holmes has a modern, silly, interesting male perspective and goes a bit deep on things like God and atheism. Plus, he’s got some absolutley hysterical GenX bits, including one about the old “See and Say” toy we all had. Check it out. High or not. Hopefully, you’ll LOL like I did.
What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever found (and kept)?
At work last summer, I found my entire teams’ salaries (including mine) in the office printer. They were just sitting there — for hours — before I finally looked to see what they were.
I kept the paper for future reference.
Knowing that I was underpaid in relation to some less experienced colleagues made my decision to resign this week a bit easier.
I’m pretty sure this is a GenX and older problem. Nobody younger than 40 would ever print out a sheet of salaries — or really anything for that matter.
It’s not 2013 anymore. GenX (including me) needs to quit printing stuff.
Who is the most famous or infamous person you have ever met?
In 2016, I had lunch with Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer, and his pit bull Junior.
I was getting my lunch at a food truck in Boston’s Christian Science Plaza when I noticed someone asking for a pic with the guy in front of me. I soon figured out it was Cesar Millan, as we had watched his show, Dog Whisperer, many times when we had Teddy.
We sat near each other on a bench and chatted while we ate our lunches. Junior sat at Cesar’s side. Junior is a large and terrifying looking American Pit Bull with wicked eyes, but he was wearing a service dog vest and I figured there was absolutely no way that the Dog Whisperer’s dog would bite me. Theoretically he’s the best trained dog in America. So I relaxed.
I found Cesar to be a very open and warm person. He told me he grew up on his grandfather’s farm in Mexico with lots of dogs. They were very poor. He came to the USA looking for a better life, crossing over the border illegally. He said, “I was a wetback.” Once in LA, he became a sought-after celebrity dog walker, which eventually led to a story in The Los Angeles Times. This eventually led to his wildly successful TV show, which ran on the National Geographic channel from 2004 – 2011.
In 2016, when I met him, he had fallen on somewhat hard times. A wildly expensive divorce and some unscrupulous management had cost him a lot. He was in Boston to do a live stage version of his show in a second-rate venue north of the city. He had a good attitude about it though. He seemed to believe that everything happens for a reason. He had learned to be careful who you trust.
When I got back to the office after lunch, my coworker Tracy, who had declined my invitation to go to the food trucks, was incredulous. She couldn’t believe she had missed the opportunity to meet Cesar Millan! It was pretty funny.
Cesar Millan and me in Boston in July 2016 — just a couple of GenXers hanging out 😉
I’m not a big podcast listener, but I discovered “Smartless” on a long car ride a couple of years ago and have enjoyed quite a few episodes.
It’s basically three GenX guys — Will Arnett, Jason Bateman and Sean Hayes — talking and laughing. They bring on a special guest for each episode who is a surprise to two of the three hosts.
As you might imagine, they’re very well-connected and are able to bring in some pretty amazing guests. I listened to them talk with Paul Simon recently — a true living legend — and they somehow managed to show him great respect, while eliciting some wonderful personal stories and occasionally breaking into bits of his iconic songs.
Arnett is Canadian and is the most typically male of the three. He’s got a deep voice and you get the impression he definitely knows how to change a tire. Bateman is a rare bird — a Hollywood child star who became a successful adult actor. Best known for playing Jack on Will & Grace, Hayes is gay and so very talented and funny. He’s also a concert-level pianist and Broadway star.
I’m not sure if I’d like the podcast as much without Hayes. He adds a perspective that the other two don’t have. I can’t help but think back to high school when a guy like Hayes—clearly gay—would’ve been mercilessly bullied by guys like Arnett and Bateman. They never would’ve hung out together in the 80s. It’s nice to see how straight men have evolved.
The podcast is so successful that they went on tour with a stage version of it, which is now a documentary you can watch on Max.
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