I’ve mentioned (about 100 times) that I’m turning 60 this year. And so are all my friends from high school and college. We were all born in 1965–the first official year of GenX, which is usually labeled as people born from 1965 to 1980. Personally, I don’t really think 1980 belongs with us. I think GenX should be 1964-1979. We’ll take Michelle Obama and Kamala Harris (both born in 1964) and the millennials can have book-banning Ron DeSantis (born 1980), but I digress…
That’s right, the coolest generation is turning 60.
One of the coolest members of GenX—actor/writer Pamela Adlon (b. 1966)—sets her daughter straight in “Better Things”
Travel seems to be a top priority for people turning 60, but my friend Susan is doing something different for her birthday this weekend. She’s going on a silent retreat. This is a first. I’ve not heard of anyone else spending a weekend in silence for their milestone birthday. I like it though. It’s unexpected and exactly what she wants. Maybe she will have some sort of A-Ha moment that she will share with us when she gets back.
Cheryl Strayed (born in 1968) from her bestselling memoir “Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail.”
I think one of the hardest things about accepting Trump’s reelection is that it feels like a mortal wound to the idea of the “beloved community” that many of us 70s kids grew up with.
Popularized by Martin Luther King Jr, the “Beloved Community” is a global vision in which racism, poverty, and militarism are eradicated—a society based on justice, equal opportunity, and love of one’s fellow human beings. In King’s words, the Beloved Community was not utopian, but attainable through hard work and commitment to ethical principles and systemic change achieved through nonviolence.
Mr. Rogers brought that vision to life for those of us who were a bit too young to remember MLK when he was alive. Mr. Rogers (and also Sesame Street) taught us there’s a place for everyone in the neighborhood. It’s better to be kind than to win. Bullies were unequivocally bad. Even the cold old Catholic Church got nicer in the seventies when the reforms of Vatican 2 led to a focus on the New Testament—lots of felt banners and folk music.
And raise your hand if you remember Free to Be, You and Me. For those who don’t remember, it was a pioneering children’s album and television special created by Marlo Thomas in the early 1970s that promoted gender equality, individuality, and emotional expression. Featuring stars like Alan Alda and Diana Ross, it encouraged kids to reject traditional stereotypes and embrace who they are, becoming a cultural touchstone for a more inclusive generation. My sister and I listened to that album over and over again.
Someday Trump will be gone.
And on that day, I’m going to listen to Free to Be, You and Me from start to finish.
OK, I have now watched the Season 3 White Lotus finale and am ready to discuss! (I managed to avoid all spoilers yesterday—except for one: I knew there were going to be multiple deaths, thanks to a headline in the NYT.)
In my opinion, it was a very good ending with one truly excellent scene. When the three childhood friends (three women over forty) finally share deeply and openly, Carrie Coons’ monologue brought me to tears:
I’ve been most intrigued by this trio the entire season. Although we’re nothing like these three (other than being white and over 40), my two high school besties and I go on vacation together about once every ten years (usually for a milestone birthday). We live in different cities and usually meet up in a fourth city that we all want to see. We did Chicago when we turned 40, New Orleans when we turned 50, and were planning to go to Montreal for our 60th.
Even though we’re not in each other’s lives on a super regular basis, I get a deep feeling of love and fulfillment whenever I am with them. Our lives have taken different paths, but we started in the exact same place at the exact same time. It’s like Laurie (Carrie Coons) said:
“But I had this epiphany today: I don’t need religion or God to give my life meaning, because time gives it meaning. We started this life together. I mean, we’re going through it apart, but we’re still together. And I look at you guys and it feels meaningful and I can’t explain it, but even when we’re just sitting around the pool talking about whatever and name shit, it still feels very fucking deep. I am glad you have a beautiful face and I’m glad that you have a beautiful life. I am just happy to be at the table.”
When you have friends you’ve known since junior high—nearly 50 years for me—there’s a bit of God in that. Women know this.
My husband and I are major consumers of “prestige TV.” We get all the channels and watch all the shows. (Severance, Succession, Hacks, The Last of Us, The Bear, Handmaids Tale, etc.) We watch together and we talk about the shows. TV is our thing.
Sometimes a show is too violent for me, so I relinquish it to my husband to watch while I’m at choir or doing something else. (For example, I bailed on The Sopranos fairly early on and I never watched Breaking Bad.) I always have a few shows I’m watching on my own, because I stay up later than him. Currently, I’m watching Marie Antoinette on PBS Passport on my own. Downton Abbey is another example of a show that my husband didn’t watch with me, though he fully embraced The Gilded Age, so it’s not that he won’t watch period pieces. (We’re big fans of Wolf Hall.)
We plan our TV watching out in advance. Sometimes, a very important show—like last night’s White Lotus season 3 finale—needs to be watched live (rather than on demand) in order to avoid spoilers, which will undoubtedly be everywhere today!
We fully intended to watch the White Lotus season finale live last night, but then my husband got tired and wanted to save it. Obviously I wouldn’t watch it without him, so now I will spend the entire day trying not to read anything about it, which basically will require staying offline altogether.
So, as the stock market crashes (I’m assuming another Black Monday is underway) and people are distracting themselves by discussing whatever happened on White Lotus last night, I will try to finish reading my library book today.
Ironically, the book is Intermezzo by Sally Rooney (author of Normal People) and I could totally see it getting made into a Hulu series (like Normal People did) that I would end up watching on my own because my husband doesn’t like shows that are too “relationshipy.”
Comments closed due to abject fear of White Lotus spoilers.
As I prepare to turn sixty in 77 days, I am working on my Bucket List (things I want to do and places I want to see before I “kick the bucket”). I’ve always been one to keep a “to do” list (I like getting stuff done), but this one is fun. I started it shortly after my dear friend Carla unexpectedly got sick and passed away in 2022 at age 57.
I try to really think about places and experiences that call to me, not just rack up instagrammable, exotic locations. I have reasons for wanting to see these places. For the bigger trips, I try to keep the budget to $10,000 (or less) for the two of us for a full week. I know that’s a lot of money for a lot of folks, but believe me, I know people that spend a whole hell of a lot more than that on their luxury vacations. I would say we are “budget conscious” travelers, but I will splurge on special experiences like dinner in the Eiffel Tower or a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon.
Is there any other foreign country that looms quite so large in the American psyche? I don’t think so!
Like millions of other Americans, I am a descendant of poor Irish immigrants. My great grandmother Mary Barry was from Dublin.
My mother’s father’s mother, Mary Barry, with six of her children, including my maternal grandfather Henry (far right). She was born in Dublin, Ireland in 1880 and died in Queens, NY in 1952. She immigrated to America, through Ellis Island, in 1903. She was 23 years old and arrived with three US dollars to her name.
This trip to Ireland will mark my first group tour experience. We’ve never been on a weeklong tour before. I usually book the hotels and do all the planning myself, but since it’s my birthday, I wanted to give myself a break and have someone else do the planning.
I looked at many types of tours (including on bikes and boats), but ultimately decided to try a Rick Steves tour. Good old Rick—PBS super nerd! I love his guidebooks and his travel philosophy in general. Plus, he is a well known weed-smoking liberal, so the chances of having any Trumpers in our group are slim.
So now, I need to start reading more about Ireland. I’ve already watched many of the recent TV shows and movies set there, including the excellent miniseries about The Troubles—Say Nothing.
Our tour is in the Republic of Ireland only, but I’m contemplating taking a trip up to Belfast (Northern Ireland, UK) at the end of the trip. We will be staying a few extra days in Dublin, where our son will join us, so I need to make some plans for that time.
Please send your Dublin recommendations and any advice you might have about planning a day trip to Belfast.
Also, books! What should I read to help truly understand the heart of this country and its people, from whom so many of us Americans descend?
I’m open to the classics, as well as modern fiction, historical fiction and nonfiction.
After seeing all of the Oscar-nominated films, I watched the broadcast with great interest last night—and lots of snacks. I tried to keep them healthy-ish (fig newtons, apple butter), but by the end of the night I was eating salted dark chocolate caramels.
Considering the state of our democracy, there was an eerie lack of political commentary. Is Hollywood actually afraid to directly criticize Dear Leader?? I thought Conan did a generally good job, but he only made one joke about Trump (saying that maybe Anora was popular because people liked seeing someone stand up to a powerful Russian). And only honorary GenXer Daryl Hannah (age 64) said anything at all about Ukraine. She came out with a “Slava Ukraine 🇺🇦” before she started reading her lines from the teleprompter.
I was not a huge fan of Anora, but I was glad to see an independent film do so well. I thought that GenXer Sean Baker’s plea to get people to go see movies in theaters again was good. He’s right that there’s a certain kind of magic in the communal, big screen experience. Plus, it helps keep those independent theaters open.
For me, the best parts of the night were the Wicked parts! The two stars looked amazing on the red carpet and their opening number was electrifying. It moved from Ariana Grande singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow in a ruby slippers-inspired gown to Cynthia Erivo singing something familiar from The Wiz (the hit 70s movie musical produced by Quincy Jones) to a live version of Defying Gravity that had every woman and gay man in the audience crying Broadway tears of joy. Long live musical theater!
Later, as part of a tribute to Quincy Jones, Queen Latifah did Ease on Down the Road from The Wiz (my favorite number from that show) with a big cast of dancers. You could see Colman Domingo, along with Cynthia and Ariana, dancing in the front row.
GenX, if you missed seeing The Wiz in the seventies, then you need to go back and at least watch that number with Diana Ross (as Dorothy) and Michael Jackson (as the scarecrow).
My favorite award of the night was when Paul Tazewell won Best Costume Design for Wicked. He proudly lifted up the fact that he was the first Black man to ever win this award and it was very moving.
Costume designer Paul Tazewell
Least favorite speeches: I thought that both of the white guys winning the major acting awards—Aidan Brody and Kieran Culkin—went on too long (shushing the music several times) and were self-indulgent. Culkin used the opportunity to pressure his wife into bearing another one of his children and Brody eventually got around to mentioning something important (antisemitism) but it took forever. Sit down guys. You’re both very wealthy actors. Have some self-awareness.
In contrast, I thought Zoe Saldaña’s speech was heartfelt and meaningful. A first-generation immigrant from the Dominican Republic, she dedicated the award to her late grandmother. Plus, she looked amazing.
There are very few women who could pull off this “bubble” dress look, but I thought Zoe Saldaña wore it beautifully.
I’m continuing to selectively digitize my old photos and I bring you a comparison of the two methods: iPhone photo vs PhotoScan by Google.
iPhone photo of an old print PhotoScan by Google of the same pictureiPhone photo PhotoScan by Google
Let me know if you have thoughts about which method is better quality, because it’s too much work to do both.
Because most of these photos are stuck in the old adhesive style photo albums, I’m having to pry them out if I want to see what (if anything) is written on the back. Then I’m stuck with a loose photo that I’ve been taping back into place with painter’s tape.
The photos above were taken on my “First Communion” day in April 1973. Despite my previously described love of veils, I remember I did not like that one. It was attached to a very uncomfortable headband that squeezed my head painfully. Perhaps this was a sign of the rocky road ahead for me and the Catholic Church.
Other than the painful headband, I remember getting some religious-themed presents (a Bible locket, an angel) and being made to feel quite special with a family party after the main event at the church.
I think we look like a real mid-century Italian-American family in these photos, but my dad is no Tony Soprano. He loved his mother (my long-widowed “Grammy”) dearly and she worshipped him. He was far and away her favorite child. As the only boy in an Italian family, he was extra special and he took great care of her until her death in 1992, just a month short of her 90th birthday.
These days everyone is encouraged to “look at the source” of information they take in. “Don’t believe everything you hear” is a common refrain.
Well, my husband and I have the same policy with TV and movies. Certain people are in the “respected recommender” category. If Alissa or Ann or Gina tell us we should watch something because we’ll love it, we listen. I even jot it down for future reference.
Other people are in “the grain of salt” category. We’ll listen to their recommendations, but we have to consider the source. They might be someone we like very much personally, but we just don’t share their taste in TV and movies.
Some people who were once under consideration to be respected recommenders have recently been categorized “grain of salt” based on highly touting a pretty stupid show on Netflix. (I’m not going to say the name of the show, because many are finding it delightful.)
Now that Boston Globe TV critic Matthew Gilbert retired, I feel a little lost sometimes. If you’re the kind of person that eagerly awaited each new episode of Succession and is sad that both What We do in The Shadows and Somebody Somewhere just ended forever, then I’m listening.
We’re already aware and are excited for new seasons of Severance and White Lotus starting soon. And I went ahead and bought tickets to see A Complete Unknown on New Year’s Eve, because even though it’s getting mixed reviews, Bob Dylan is Bob Dylan. And I like to see all the big rock biopics on a big screen, with that big Hollywood sound.
An insightful post by Singing Gecko reminded me that I recently watched—and highly recommend—Woman of the Hour on Netflix. It stars Anna Kendrick, who also directed it. Quite a feat. She is extremely talented.
I think men especially should watch it.
We all know that the vast majority of men are not serial killers…or rapists…or even misogynists (despite the election results), but they’ve really never walked in our shoes. The “trapped” feeling when alone in an unlit area with a large man lurking is hard to describe in words. The mixture of fear, self-doubt (am I overreacting?) and calculation (what if I run to the stairs? will someone hear me if I scream?) is extremely well-portrayed in Woman of the Hour.
Woman of the Hour is a dramatic, bizarre and entertaining true story that helps explain why so many women recently said they’d choose the bear.
Even better, one of the major settings of the film is The Dating Game—a classic TV game show that elder GenXers like me will remember from childhood, especially if your parents let you watch tons of TV like mine did.
Tony Hale, Anna Kendrick and Daniel Zovatto in one of The Dating Game scenes in “Woman of the Hour.”
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