Be Inspiring. Be Likable. (And more Paris pics)

Bloganuary writing prompt
What makes a good leader?

In my experience, one key to leadership is being able to inspire people. You’ve got to: a) have a vision; and b) be able to communicate your vision in a way that makes others want to get behind it. This does not necessarily mean that your vision is a “good” or moral one. Massive numbers of people have gotten behind leaders with sickening visions. Hitler is the most obvious example, but Trump is another one. He’s literally running on revenge and lies.

I learned a lot about two of the most famous leaders of France on my trip to Paris in December—Louis XIV and Napoleon I. 

Louis XIV, a.k.a. the “Sun King” because the nation revolved around him, reigned for a loooong time (1643-1715). He loved his mother and the arts and had a great personality. Allegedly, he made everyone feel comfortable when speaking with him. He managed to move the entire French government out of Paris to his favorite sleepy suburb—Versailles. People liked the guy!

One of many portraits of the Sun King in the Palace of Versailles. Don’t you just want to hang with him? I wonder if he loaned out his cool shoes.
The “Gallery of Battles” in Versailles—a modest little wing of Louis’ house.

Napoleon, as you may have heard, was good at war. Eventually, he got cocky and went too far, but still, the French took him back. It was said that having Napoleon on the battlefield to rally the troops was equivalent to having 10,000 additional men. Clearly, he had something good going on personality-wise. Even now, he looms large in French life. A French couple asked me to take their photo, with his tomb, when I was in Paris.

Napoleon’s tomb in its grand setting: Les Invalides cathedral
The dome above Napoleon’s tomb

Whatever it was, the 2023 film “Napoleon” starring Joaquin Phoenix completely missed it. Boy, was it bad! I hope the Oscar nominators agree. (Check out Dan’s predictions here.) As my husband said when we left Les Invalides, “The guy that Joaquin Phoenix played in the film did not deserve that tomb.” He was wasn’t the least bit inspiring – or likable. For a laugh, check out what the French had to say about the film here.

A portrait of Napoleon as Emperor that hangs in Versailles

The Socials & the Daily Prompt

In what ways do you communicate online?

I have a Facebook (FB) and an Instagram (IG). I used to be a regular, lighthearted Facebook contributor, but then Trump happened. I could not NOT weigh-in. So, that alienated a small number of friends and certain relatives. A couple of old but significant friendships ended largely due to Facebook bullshit. I got more interested in Instagram during the COVID lockdown. I have far fewer connections on Instagram. It’s just mostly about the pictures, and I really like to take pictures. I use IG more than FB now, but I occasionally still share something on Facebook. And I check Facebook multiple times each week to see what other people are posting, especially the big announcements. (Sadly, it’s now the main way I hear about high school and college classmates’ deaths.)

Because I hated my boss for the last few years, I’ve kept my LinkedIn up to date and I use it pretty frequently—mostly for private messages. Like Facebook, LinkedIn is good for tracking people down. Almost everyone with a job has a LinkedIn profile.

Also, because I’m cool I have two GenZ children, I have a Snapchat, which I use with my kids and a couple of close friends.

This blog, which I started when I turned 50, but largely ignored after Trump got elected, is now my favorite way to communicate online, so thank you WordPress readers and commenters! I enjoy reading your posts too–especially your responses to the daily prompt. It’s fun to see all the different directions people will go with the same few words. For example, ItsAmyISaid is a terrific writer and frequently gives us a wonderful original poem like this one, in response to the daily prompt. Check her out.

And yes, I use whatever these are—stickers? Bitmojis?

Senior Directory

Daily writing prompt
What is your mission?

In my high school yearbook, there was a “Senior Directory.” It was an alphabetical listing of all the seniors with our names, addresses, and activities throughout high school in simple form (i.e. Tennis 1; Choir 2,3,4). There were also optional “Thanks To” and “Future Goals” sections.

I think you could say that “Future Goals” were mission statements for our 17-year old selves. Some were very specific: “To go to Westfield State and major in Computer Science. Get a good job when I graduate.” Others were non-committal: “No big plans–I’ll take it as it comes.” Some were aspirational: “To be a famous auto mechanic and build a lot of fast cars” or “To be a sound man for Iron Maiden.” The class nerd/genius’ was: “Live long and prosper.” Some of the girls (not many) mentioned marriage and motherhood. I don’t think a single boy mentioned fatherhood.

Mine was: “To learn, travel and be happy.” (I guess I was destined to be a liberal arts major.) I still like it though. It’s short and covers everything, but commits to nothing. The only problem is that it’s so self-centered. There’s no element of giving back or activism. Although I could argue that “learning” has led me to want to take action on various issues (like women’s rights) and that makes me “happy.”

So yeah, I’ll stick with my 17-year old self’s mission statement: To learn, travel and be happy.

Related posts:

I hate funeral homes

La Dolce Vita

AIDS made me a lifelong lib

How have your political views changed over time?

I’ve gotten more liberal.

When I was young, my views were influenced by my parents and the Catholic Church. I remember defending Nancy Reagan in an editorial I wrote for a high school social studies class.

By the time I was a junior in college, I had totally changed my mind about President Reagan. Working in the arts after college, and being exposed to the AIDS activism in that community, opened my eyes further to structural inequities. The fact that the AIDS virus (HIV) was considered a “pre-existing condition” by insurance companies and could leave young, sick people without medical care was very real and horrific to me.

Reagan was so slow to even acknowledge AIDS was a disease (much less a full blown crisis), the arts community was absolutely furious and made a lot of art about it. That had a profound effect on me.

Activist art by the Keith Haring, who died of complications from AIDS in 1990 at age 31

All bets are off

Daily writing prompt
Are you a good judge of character?

No, I am not a good judge of character. Prior to the 2016 election, I would’ve had a different answer. Back then, my idea of “good character” was still based on what I’d learned over the years in school and church and from my family. Lying and stealing were bad. Racism and misogyny were also bad. Nazis were the absolute worst. Sure, I had rejected the Catholic Church and become a Unitarian Universalist, but I believed that most people (liberal or conservative) had a common understanding of the differences between right and wrong. I did not vote for John McCain or Mitt Romney, but I understood why reasonable people would. They were men of good character. Then, 63 million of my fellow Americans, including the man I’ve loved and trusted since Day One (my dad), voted for someone who had been caught on tape admitting to sexual assault and I realized that I never really knew anything about anyone. 

Back when things were clearer, my mom was a leader of Camp Fire Girls and took us camping. The Camp Fire Girls motto was WoHeLo, which stood for Work, Health, Love.

Ralph Nader

Daily writing prompt
Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.

When I was a senior in college (around 1986), Ralph Nader came to campus and I went to hear him speak. At that time, he was mainly known as a consumer safety advocate and had not yet run for POTUS. He was suffering from Bell’s Palsy at the time (a temporary condition) and half his face was paralyzed, yet he persevered with a pair of dark sunglasses to protect his unblinking eye and gave a very inspirational speech.

I had no idea what I wanted to do when I graduated. I’d majored in history. My standard answer to people who asked me what I planned to do after graduation was, “well, I have jury duty,” which was true.

It seemed that a lot of people were planning either to go to graduate school or seek jobs in New York City (Wall Street for financial types and Madison Avenue for advertising types). I was interested in neither. Nader was the first person to introduce me to the idea of a “nonprofit organization.” He talked about “the greater good” and floated the idea that a career in the nonprofit world was a perfectly legitimate option for college graduates. I honesly had never considered that path until I went to a lecture by Ralph Nader.

That led to me seeking out an internship and eventually a job in the art museum world (a true passion of mine). I remember that my college had exactly zero resources for someone looking to work in nonprofits. I had to drive down to neighboring Wesleyan University to access a datatbase of opportunities. One job lead to another and I ended up working in the nonprofit world for over 35 years. For the most part, I really enjoyed my career and was motivated by the missions of the various organizations I served. I don’t think I ever would’ve been happy at a bank or an insurance company.

So thanks Ralph. I do appreciate the door you threw open in my mind back in 1986. This does not, however, excuse your possibly throwing the 2000 election to George W. Bush over Al Gore, but everyone makes mistakes.

First day as a mother of two

Daily writing prompt
Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.

Today is my son John’s birthday. It’s also Taylor Swift’s birthday and Santa Lucia day in Sweden – so it’s a big day around the world. (Lucia is my daughter’s name, so it’s interesting that he was born on her saint’s name day. And by the way, I’ve added visiting Sweden to my bucket list.)

I waited a long time (six years) to have a second child. I was happy with my one little girl and didn’t think I wanted more children. When I started to second guess that decision, I really agonized about it. I made lists of pros and cons, saw a therapist, and read a book about the environmental impact of having more than one child in a First World country: Maybe One by the great environmentalist Bill McKibben. 

In the end, my heart won out and we were so fortunate to receive the best Christmas present ever in the last month of the first year of the new millennium: an adorable baby boy. I was over 35, so I know I was lucky! On my first day as a mother of two, I felt that our family was complete. There was no turning back now. It felt like I had fully committed to this motherhood thing. It would be the most important part of my identity for the foreseeable future.

Christmas 2000

Related:

I’m someone’s mother

Public singing vs public speaking

Daily writing prompt
Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?

I have performed on stages many times, with choirs and choruses. In the past, I wrote about how I took voice lessons in my forties so I would be better prepared for the occasional solo.

Public speaking is harder than public singing for me. I can’t remember ever giving a speech. I once presented an award to a dear colleague – in front of cameras and an audience – but I don’t think I had to say anything. They used my words (from a previous essay) to quote me while I was on the stage. Here’s the photographic proof.

Berklee 2017 Urban Service Awards

A side story to this photo is that Boston’s current Mayor, Michelle Wu, also received an award at this same event and I was seated next to her. This was before she was the mayor. At the time, she was a Boston City Councilor, but I did not recognize her. She looked so young. I thought she was a college student and I asked her what her major was. Then she got up to receive her award. Oops! Embarassing. (Sorry, Mayor Wu)

The Flinstones and The Phryges

Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite cartoon?

I no longer watch cartoons, but as a kid, my favorite cartoon was definitely The Flinstones–a GenX cornerstone. If you never pictured yourself going out for a Brontosaurus Burger with Fred in his foot-powered vehicle, you must be a millennial (or younger). And I still think of any one-shouldered dress as a “Wilma.”

The Flinstones

But sorry, I’m not done relating these “daily prompts” to my recent trip to Paris. As I mentioned, they were very busy gearing up for the 2024 Olympics, while we were there. The mascot is The Phryges – pronounced like “fridge” with a long E sound and an “uh.” He/She/They? (I’m feeling like “they” is the correct pronoun in English) are described as “being part of the Phryges tribe, those little Phrygian hats that have come to help the French with their revolution through the power of Sport.” They’re cute, n’est-ce pas?

I didn’t buy one, but I thought about it.
By 1791, the Phrygian Cap or Bonnet Rouge had become de rigueur for sans-culotte militants to wear to show their loyalty to the cause. (I’m hoping US citizens don’t need to adopt something similar after our 2024 national election.)