Politics

New Year’s feelings

~ MaryG ~ 15 Comments

This New Year’s is getting me down. I had so hoped that 2025, the year I turn 60, would be the year we’d finally stop seeing his ridiculous orange face and hearing his racist, lying voice forever. I had thought if we could just get through the November election, he’d fade from our consciousness. I worked hard to try to make that happen.

Instead, the shitshow continues. All the anger, fear and bitterness of the past nine years is back. I’m suspicious of old friends who seem to blame all their problems on immigrants. I’m worried that racism or god forbid—gun violence—is going to affect my family. I’m so sad for the planet. I’m scared that our new leaders are truly just self-dealers.

I used to want to try to make the world a better place for all our children and grandchildren. Now I just want to try to protect my own children and grandchild in whatever way I can.

All the expansive positivity, American pride, and hopefulness for all women I felt watching Kamala Harris accept her nomination for president is gone.

I am taking solace in the unparalleled personal, private, internal joy of becoming a grandmother. Maybe my love for this one child will save me.

The first time I got to hold my granddaughter was magical. I loved her immediately. (Photo taken by my daughter 9.24.24)

My 80s friend

~ MaryG ~ 11 Comments

At Christmas dinner yesterday, my father told me he had run into my old friend Debbie at the fish market. They recognized each other and exchanged some quick pleasantries.

Debbie and I were neighborhood friends who ended up becoming close friends for many years. She knew my parents well and I knew her family too. Her dad was a great guy. We took several trips to California and Florida in our late teens and twenties. We did a fair number of edgy things together including lots of underage drinking, shoplifting, dine-n-dashing, and at least one crazy 80s Spring Break trip to Fort Lauderdale. (Wet t-shirt contest anyone?) Debbie was 18 months older than me (a year ahead of me in high school) and liked to party and dance. I’m sure my first nightclub experience was with her. Even though she was a true redhead, she loved the sun like I did and we went to the beach as often as possible. We went skiing a few times too and once spun out in my mother’s car driving in a snowstorm. We did a 180 and hit the guardrail. (Debbie was driving at the time and we were fine.) In fact, we wanted to carry on with our ski trip with one headlight dangling, but when we called my parents from a gas station, they made us come home.

Debbie and I stayed friends for many years through a variety of life experiences including her being severely burned in a freak accident. (I remember visiting her in Shriner’s Burn Center where I saw the most horrifically scarred young children.) We knew each other’s deepest, darkest secrets. We attended each other’s weddings and then drifted apart as we became mothers and got busy raising kids. Still, we sent Christmas cards and occasionally saw each other in person.

Then, at some point during the second Obama administration her right-leaning political posts on Facebook caused a tiff between us. We unfriended each other and that was that. Some years later, I felt badly about it, but figured she had probably morphed into a Trump supporter, so what would be the purpose of reaching out. We were too different by then.

You know that expression about some friends being for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime? Well, at one point I might’ve thought we’d be friends for a lifetime, but it turns out we were friends for a season. And our season was the 1980s. Big time.

Christmas 1989 (towards the end of our close friendship)

If I had to pick one song that tends to trigger a Debbie memory, it would be Kool & the Gang’s Celebration. I picture us dancing around in front of a mirror, sipping some alcohol, while we made our hair as big & fluffy as possible for whatever came next.

The Holiday Spritz

~ MaryG ~ 16 Comments

I am baking up a storm over here in the land of incredulous liberals who are (to a person, I believe) avoiding the news. (I did take a quick peek at Facebook earlier and saw that the incredible Randy Rainbow has just dropped a new video, which basically says it ALL.)

Back to baking…the holiday spritz is a tradition for my family. I received a fine Italian-made cookie press from my childhood friend Bethanne at my bridal shower 30+ years ago and have been making these cookies pretty much every year since. (My mother had a cookie press and she made them for years too.) They are strictly a holiday cookie. I’ve never made them at any other time of year.

I also received a cookie cookbook from Bethanne at my bridal shower (we had baked many batches of cookies together as girls), and I still use the recipe from that very same cookbook:

If you’re not familiar with how a cookie press works, you stuff a pump/barrel full of cookie dough and then squeeze it out through little silver discs, which form various decorative shapes. (There are about 12 shapes to choose from.)

Based on input from my son, the fleur-de-lis 🇫🇷 was added to the more seasonal snowflake and tree shaped cookies this year.
Voilá
And just for fun, here’s a photo of Bethanne (top right) and me (bottom right) with my mother and two other friends, circa 1977.

Off the rails

~ MaryG ~ 10 Comments

Do you ever see wild animals?

I see lots of wild animals around here, but I don’t feel like writing about them today.

Unfortunately I took a peek at the national news yesterday and I’m feeling scared today. It feels as if the country is definitely going off the rails. Humans behaving like animals is going to be the norm.

For the most part, I have not been watching the news since the election, but my husband told me about the assassination of the UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, and then my son showed me the horrific video. It was so chilling. I was thinking, “Is this Russia? Is the President-elect somehow involved in this?” I literally thought that…and I am not a whacko conspiracy theorist.

But the reality is almost worse. The overwhelming reaction to this guy’s murder is completely justifiable rage at the health insurance industry. There is very little sympathy for his widow and children. I did a quick check of social media and it seemed the overwhelming consensus to the police’s request for help in finding the suspect is “snitches get stitches.” (So yeah, maybe “the public option” or even “Medicare for All” weren’t such crazy communist ideas after all.)

Animals. We are like animals now.

Then I read a quick article about the animal that has been nominated to lead our Department of Defense—Peter Hegseth. If you think “animal” is too harsh a characterization, please just google him. This guy could be walking around with the nuclear codes as soon as next month. I wonder if he’ll keep them in a pocket near his pro-Crusades tattoo?

Animals. An animal is nominating other animals to help him debase this country to a level we could have never imagined 10 years ago.

Acceptance

~ MaryG ~ 7 Comments

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

One great thing about growing older is that you finally accept yourself. I know a lot of people want to lose weight and that sort of thing after 50, but for the most part, you’ve accepted who you are as a person by age fifty.

If you were a dutiful oldest daughter for too long, you should be fully over it by age 50. Even if your parents are still alive, their guilt trips should no longer hurt you. If you got raised in a repressive church, you should have escaped it by now and realized that you have agency. You are the captain of your own ship. Whatever you feel is correct. You don’t have to be nice all the time. You can say no. If you’ve been feeling anger over what’s been going on in this country since 2016, that’s fully justified. If you are angry and fearful about what’s coming next, that’s also fine. No need to apologize to anyone for anything you say or do, women especially.

So no, I’m 59 and I’m perfect. There’s nothing I would change.

I’m so perfect I could be a Disney Princess. (AI image generated by my daughter, who is also perfect.)

Rail Trail A**holes

~ MaryG ~ 16 Comments

Name your top three pet peeves.

  1. Cyclists on the rail trail who don’t yield to pedestrians. They like to “thread the needle” through two pedestrians (or groups of pedestrians) walking in opposite directions, coming within inches of the walkers. Just wait until it’s safe to pass, jerk!
  2. E-bikes on the (very flat) rail trail moving at top speed. Technically e-bikes are considered “non-motorized” vehicles, so they’re allowed, but they can go very fast and seem dangerous. Typically, the people choosing to use all the power their e-bikes have to offer are quite fat and should really be pedaling (in my opinion).
  3. Anyone on the rail trail in MAGA gear. Honestly, just fuck off. This is Massachusetts.

How’s that? Angry enough for a Tuesday? Thanks WordPress. You finally let me answer the Daily Prompt and now I’m mad! 😡

Resistance fashion

~ MaryG ~ 8 Comments

Not to make light of the whole “United States is becoming a fascist nation” thing (we’re not there quite yet), but it does beg the question: What would the American Resistance look like? I mean…what would we actually wear? And could we possibly hold a candle to the best and most fashionable resistance movement ever: The French Resistance.

If you were going to sneak around behind the Nazis’ backs, you definitely needed a good trench coat. A belted one, bien sûr! And you needed boots—sturdy ones. And a messenger bag (obviously) for all the coded messages you’re transporting, and extra snacks for those poor people hiding in your attic. And the finishing touch…the pièce de résistance of your French Resistance outfit was clearly the beret.

These are the things you have time to think about when you’re no longer reading the national news.

I hope the American Resistance adopts berets. Call me when they issue the berets.

Sleeping baby therapy

~ MaryG ~ 15 Comments

I am continuing my weekly grandma snuggling sessions with my adorable granddaughter and I really wish everyone had such an amazing option. I know she won’t be so sleepy forever, and that we will be doing a lot of fun, active stuff in the future, but for now, this is perfect. She is perfect. Her mom and dad are doing such a great job taking care of her, there’s not all that much else to do. Snuggling is Job One.

The best is when she falls into a very deep sleep on me and stays that way for a couple of hours. When she’s awake, she is very cute and smiley, but there’s only so long you can stay awake when you’re busy growing so fast!

For all the folks dreading dealing with MAGA relatives on Thanksgiving, I recommend yesterday’s post in The Brevity Blog by guest blogger Andrea Tate, as well as her original, viral day-after-the-election piece in The Huffington Post. There’s nothing normal about any of this.

Woman of the Hour

~ MaryG ~ 17 Comments

An insightful post by Singing Gecko reminded me that I recently watched—and highly recommend—Woman of the Hour on Netflix. It stars Anna Kendrick, who also directed it. Quite a feat. She is extremely talented.

I think men especially should watch it.

We all know that the vast majority of men are not serial killers…or rapists…or even misogynists (despite the election results), but they’ve really never walked in our shoes. The “trapped” feeling when alone in an unlit area with a large man lurking is hard to describe in words. The mixture of fear, self-doubt (am I overreacting?) and calculation (what if I run to the stairs? will someone hear me if I scream?) is extremely well-portrayed in Woman of the Hour.

Woman of the Hour is a dramatic, bizarre and entertaining true story that helps explain why so many women recently said they’d choose the bear.

Even better, one of the major settings of the film is The Dating Game—a classic TV game show that elder GenXers like me will remember from childhood, especially if your parents let you watch tons of TV like mine did.

Tony Hale, Anna Kendrick and Daniel Zovatto in one of The Dating Game scenes in “Woman of the Hour.”

All-day retreat

~ MaryG ~ 5 Comments

I was at church ALL day yesterday. I got there at 9 for choir rehearsal. Then we had the service and coffee hour. After that, I attended a four-hour retreat for the Executive Team of the church. (I agreed to fill a one-year position on the Standing Committee. Typically these are three-year positions, but someone got sick and couldn’t fulfill their term.)

I’m finding that this leadership role feels a lot like work, except I’m not getting paid. If I’m going to be doing stuff that feels like work, I think I’d rather be getting paid. In my new post-election “Circle the Wagons” mentality, volunteerism should be limited to fun things that I truly enjoy, like singing in the choir and sacred circle dances. Anything else I do should directly benefit my own family. Therefore, it would be better for me to get a paid part-time job than continue to do volunteer work that feels like real work.

Pretty selfish, huh? Well that’s what the election hath wrought in this previously civic-minded, privileged white lady. Fuck it. I’m all about me and my own family now.

In addition to being politically liberal and drinking a lot of coffee, Unitarian Universalists (UUs) are known for talking endlessly. Our congregations are self-governed, democratically, without much control by the national organization. The minister is paid (obviously) but has no real authority over the congregation, other than her moral and intellectual leadership. The power of persuasion is her main tool.

Here are some classic jokes about UUs:

Why did the UU cross the road?

• To support the chicken in its search for its own path.

What’s a UU’s idea of a great sermon?

• A strong opening, a thoughtful middle, and no definite conclusion.

How do you scare a UU?

• Say, “Let’s vote on a creed!”

Why do UUs always bring pencils to services?

• To edit the hymnal as needed.

You get the idea.