I’ve never been one to wildly fluctuate in weight. I’m tall and naturally thin—or at least I was.

I was 5’ 8” and about 118 pounds as a senior in high school, with a tiny waist and relatively big boobs. I had the ideal 80s body. (I had no ass, but that was fine back in pre-Kardashians America.)

I remember a woman came up to me at a pool where I was lifeguarding once and said “How do you DO that? Like really, how do you have that body? Do you do aerobics or what?” She truly wanted to know my secret. (I had no secret. I did not exercise. And I ate plenty of crap. I was just young and tall.)

Over the decades my weight has crept up—about ten pounds per decade. No big leaps or losses other than during and after my two pregnancies.

Doctors now are never concerned about my weight. I’m well within the normal range for my height and age, but I’m not skinny anymore. I’m average.

Yet…I’ve been clinging to some old clothing sizes. I want to be a medium (not a large) in some basic items like t-shirts and underwear, but I’m not. I’m just not. Large is way more comfortable. I’m a size 10 now in dresses (despite many years of wearing size 6 or 8).

So, at 18 days from sixty, I’ve tossed a bunch of old bras and underwear and replaced them with the next size up. I’m never gonna be that old size again. I put a couple of size 8 dresses on a resale website and bought a new size 10 dress for a wedding I’m going to in July.

I don’t think I look bad, really. I’m just older. I don’t have it in me to exercise like crazy or take one of those new-fangled weight loss drugs. I’m just going to be the size I am now and hopefully stay healthy. And comfortable.