New Year’s feelings

~ MaryG

This New Year’s is getting me down. I had so hoped that 2025, the year I turn 60, would be the year we’d finally stop seeing his ridiculous orange face and hearing his racist, lying voice forever. I had thought if we could just get through the November election, he’d fade from our consciousness. I worked hard to try to make that happen.

Instead, the shitshow continues. All the anger, fear and bitterness of the past nine years is back. I’m suspicious of old friends who seem to blame all their problems on immigrants. I’m worried that racism or god forbid—gun violence—is going to affect my family. I’m so sad for the planet. I’m scared that our new leaders are truly just self-dealers.

I used to want to try to make the world a better place for all our children and grandchildren. Now I just want to try to protect my own children and grandchild in whatever way I can.

All the expansive positivity, American pride, and hopefulness for all women I felt watching Kamala Harris accept her nomination for president is gone.

I am taking solace in the unparalleled personal, private, internal joy of becoming a grandmother. Maybe my love for this one child will save me.

The first time I got to hold my granddaughter was magical. I loved her immediately. (Photo taken by my daughter 9.24.24)

15 thoughts on “New Year’s feelings”

      1. I totally understand feeling the need for a break. Go enjoy the little one! And I think you’ll enjoy watching and helping your daughter in the new adventure of motherhood! Happy new year, Mary. Wishing you the very best in 2025.

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  5. Nothing like a wee one to center oneself. I certainly hear ya, MaryG. I hope that you take the time you need to care for yourself and family. When you’re ready, we must make sure that the 2026 elections stop these anti-democratic forces from any harm they may have done–and start to move us in the right direction once again.

    Have a happy and baby-focused New Year!

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  7. What a precious baby! Wonderful to read how it was love at first sight. As for 2025…I am still in the doldrums and am trying to buck up and carry on. Not easy. I have a feeling this presidency is going to be a real shoot-show. The only question is, how bad will it be?

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    1. Thanks Laurie. I am with you. It’s really hitting me now. Absolute worst case scenario is upon us — White House, Senate, House, and SCOTUS. It’s just so depressing, especially when you think about what could’ve been.

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  8. This sentence: I’m suspicious of old friends who seem to blame all their problems on immigrants inspired me to write a poem. I hope you’ll see the inspiration in the first few lines.

    I’ll post it and ping back to you on January 20th.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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