Naked Despair

~ MaryG

I encountered a lot of naked despair, grief and anger at church today. I belong to a liberal Unitarian Universalist church outside of Boston. Many people were absolutely wrecked over the election results, including the minister.

We have many older members (I guess that includes me now at nearly 60) who have been fighting for all types of causes for decades, from the climate crisis to abortion. My church helped lead the marriage equality movement in Massachusetts. (We were the very first state in the country to legalize gay marriage in 2004–twenty years ago!) During the fight, our then minister refused to perform weddings in our beautiful historic church until same-sex marriage was legal. He really took a stand and it helped move things forward. Shortly after the law was passed, he married two longtime beloved church members—two women—in front of of the entire congregation. It was euphoric.

Anyway, I was doing OK at church, holding up pretty well, until the music director played John Lennon’s Imagine during the offertory. Oh man, hearing that just broke me (and a bunch of other people too). She was playing it beautifully on the grand piano (with no vocalist) but of course everyone in our congregation knows the words and was quietly singing along.

The dream has never felt further away. 😢

Related:

Time to Circle the Wagons

15 thoughts on “Naked Despair”

    1. It’s hard to fathom. I’ve stopped reading/watching all news. We’re trying to get into British mysteries (ie Masterpiece Mystery on PBS), which was never our thing, but we gotta fill the void with something.

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      3. I’ve watched a bunch on Masterpiece Mystery but the names escape me. I think I found them through Prime. Netflix has a lot of British mysteries/crime. Anything from Harlan Coben is fun. Luther (series and movie) is pretty good. Maybe check out Marcella or Collateral. After I binge them, I completely forget them. I wish I could remember them all.

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  2. I attended some online teachings and practice sessions yesterday, and it was very hard for the lama not to keep coming back to talking about the grief and fear those close to him are experiencing, even though he wanted in his role, to be inclusive of anyone who might see another way. I was thankful for the practices especially, because just to be in community with others for a while seemed so deeply needed. We’re not alone, but the reality distortion filters have a lot to gain by making us feel that way if they can.

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    1. I’m glad you have online communities of support Stephanie.
      I’ve never ever seen a UU minister so upset and angry from a pulpit before. There was absolutely no sense of wanting to be inclusive of the other side. She framed it as fascism is descending.

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  3. It’s profound that John Lennon’s song still rings true in current times, Mary. I think it’s wonderful that your church is progressive and huddled together during the horrible outcome. My sister, who I love very much, voted for him, and she and her hubby are ecstatic. I’m struggling with this because we’ve always been close. But what is so mind-boggling is that she is a devoted Christian, but her church is not liberal, very conservative. But how can you believe in God, living with the guidance of the bible and still vote for Trump? It’s illogical! I’m moving on, but my family is still in shock. Nothing makes sense. Anyway, hang in there, and let’s hope for a better week.

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    1. I’m sorry about your dilemma with your sister Lauren. My sister and father also supported him in the past and it has put a significant distance between us. In a word: mistrust. Can you really ever trust someone who overlooked so much hate, criminality, and misogyny in order to cast a ballot for him?
      UU churches are open and welcoming many of the brokenhearted.
      And yes, let’s hope for a better week ❤️

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    1. The message in our wayside pulpit now reads: “You Are Not Alone. You Matter. Don’t Give Up.” We had several first timers show up this Sunday. If there’s a UU church near you, you might possibly find some comfort there.
      It’s wonderful you have such a loving husband and daughters. ❤️

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