Pay attention to the journey

~ MaryG
Daily writing prompt
How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?
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“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.”

Is that actually a John Lennon quote or does it just get attributed to him? I don’t know.

In any case, I think that’s the lesson you learn – again and again.

Through age 50 or so, life seems to be all about achieving your goals. Education, career, marriage, home, children. Once you know your life is definitely more than half over (less than 1% of Americans live to 100), you start realizing that life isn’t so much about the destination (or goals achieved), as it is about the journey.

When my best friend from college died in 2022, shortly after realizing her lifelong dream of moving back to New Mexico, I was surprised by the depth of my grief. We didn’t see each other or talk often anymore, but we’d been extremely close for many years and she’d had a huge influence on me.

I got to visit her one last time in Santa Fe, when she was dying. I brought a lot of photos and we when we were scrolling through them, she said things like “we were so happy” and “we were so lucky.” And we were. But back then, we were always planning, dreaming, GOING. We didn’t realize that the good times we were in the midst of would be amongst the most cherished memories of our lives.

So my advice from the wise old age of 58 is to pay attention to the trip you’re on while it’s happening – and especially to your fellow travelers. That co-worker who always gives you great advice may turn out to have been one of the best mentors you ever had. That church you joined, only because you wanted to sing in a choir, might turn out to be your most important source of support in retirement. Those high school best friends that knew your family growing up may turn out be the people you can tell anything later in life because they know it all.

Goals are important, but it’s the unplanned “little” stuff you did along the way that you’ll remember. Pay attention to it all.

Good times with Carla in New Mexico in 1994, when she was about 7 months pregnant with her first child and absolutely glowing with happiness.

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19 thoughts on “Pay attention to the journey”

  3. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. Deepest sympathies.

    You give such great advice. It’s easy not to pay attention to the journey. But that’s where the memories are… the everyday walk through life.

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  5. You are SO right. I possibly have a greater appreciation for the ‘small’ things these days – see my post today – but we spend so much of our lives striving to get ‘somewhere’ but there are so many things we miss along the way if we become too blinkered. 🙂

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  8. Wise words…Thank you for sharing.

    My mom passed in 2022. She had me in 1994 and had three more. She was a teacher for thirty-something years, and made our childhood the best ever. My siblings and I find comfort in those memories of her now. It’s as if she never left. A phenomenal person walked the earth and we got to call her mom. Now, I have learnt to embrace the totality of my journey, the memories will outlive me.

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    1. Thank you for sharing the wonderful memories of your mother. I’m sorry you lost her so young, but happy that you and your siblings can rejoice together in your shared memories. She lives on in you.

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