thoughts

Monthly delights

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments

Tell us about the last thing you got excited about.

For Christmas 2019, my husband got me a 3-month subscription to BloomsyBox, a monthly delivery of beautiful flowers. By the end of the three months, COVID had hit and we were stuck at home, so I kept the subscription going. It was just so nice to have these gorgeous blooms to look at, especially in the winter.

Three years later, I still get these monthly deliveries. Each one is different and quite stunning. And I get excited about each one.

Here’s this month’s. Yellow is such a great color.
July’s were exotic – hot and tropical
June’s were really gorgeous. My birthday month.

TIP: I ordered and paid for an entire year of deliveries on Black Friday and saved hundreds of dollars.

Why write?

~ MaryG ~ 2 Comments

What do you enjoy most about writing?

My earliest journal

I think I like to write mostly because it’s therapeutic. Getting some thoughts out of my head and onto “paper” helps me let them go and move on. I originally started this blog when I turned 50. Here’s a post I did then called “Why Blog?” Reading it now (8 years later), it still seems about right.

Also, I’ve always been a reader. I love fiction and memoirs. It seems that many people who really like to read also enjoy writing. The difference between me and a real writer is the discipline and dedication to craft. I’ve found some real writers here on WordPress using the “Discover” button on Jetpack. I loved this post by Jodi Lee Reifer. I’m not ready to tackle an essay like this about my own sister, but Jodi’s thoughts (so beautifully expressed) truly resonated.

The first entry: an account of my New Year’s Day, 1974

Get in the water at the beach

~ MaryG ~ 1 Comment

What brings you peace?

I feel peace in the ocean. There’s something about floating on the waves that gives me a sense of perspective. You literally become part of the earth’s surface and know that you and your problems are but a tiny speck in a much bigger universe.

Living in New England, it can be hard to find ocean water warm enough to bring you peace. This website is good for checking ocean temperatures.

My children and me enjoying warm Rhode Island waters, August 2010

Animal Videos

~ MaryG ~ 1 Comment
Instagram giraffes sent by a dear friend

I was never one to spend time watching cat videos online. I knew people absolutely loved them and spent hours watching them, but I just scrolled right past. If someone sent one to me, I liked it, but was never tempted to re-share. I tended to focus on news, celebrities, and schadenfreude.

But I’m starting to understand why millions of people will watch a baby panda sneeze, a cat with an inner voice, or a cute snail enjoying a shower. A cute snail? The clips make you smile, or even laugh. And sometimes, they make you think of a friend or family member who might enjoy them.

When my friend Carla was dying in a faraway state, she didn’t communicate much, but occasionally she’d send an animal video. It was usually a baby giraffe, because she knew I liked giraffes. It was so moving to know she was thinking of me at that time.

So, I get it now. Animal videos make you smile, laugh, think about friends, distract from the news. They’re awesome.

Now please enjoy these ducks getting flower hats put on their tiny heads.

Cars and Crosswalks

~ MaryG ~ Leave a comment

What bothers you and why?

Some drivers don’t understand how intersections work. If traffic is so backed up that you’re going to have to idle in a crosswalk on the other side, don’t go. Wait until there’s enough room for your whole car, before heading across.

Last week I saw a blind student with a cane encounter a car blocking the entire width of a crosswalk in Boston.

I know—Boston—but I think it happens everywhere.

Yeah, no I don’t think so

~ MaryG ~ 1 Comment
Daily writing prompt
What do you think gets better with age?

Your ability to say “no” gets better with age. Pleasing people (parents, teachers, bosses) seems so important when you’re young, especially to oldest daughters. Being “nice” is paramount, and nice people don’t say no. The older I get, the more free I feel to decline that invitation to travel with someone who irks me, join a potentially contentious or time-consuming church committee, or even take on a work assignment that’s outside my job descripton. I’d rather be kind than nice, if you know what I mean.

Flowers I sent to myself

Two More Weeks

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments

Two more weeks until Election Day. I can’t believe it’s been FOUR years since Pantsuit Nation got the crushing news that America is way WAY more racist and misogynistic than we thought. (It turns out Black people were already well aware of this and were not terribly surprised that the pussy-grabbing reality TV star won, but it sure was a massive shock to the rest of us.)

So, here we are, after 7 months of COVID-19 lockdown with 220,000+ dead and no end in sight. We all want Trump to lose by a HUGE margin, so that he won’t be able to dispute the results and start a Civil War. We need the Senate too, especially now that the Supreme Court will be so conservative. (Amy Coney Barrett terrifies me even more than Brett “I like beer” Kavanaugh, because I think she’s smart and her worldview was formed in some sort of extreme Catholic sect.)

I’ve already voted, sent postcards to swing state voters, annoyed my social media friends with numerous political posts, and made sure my kids and their friends got registered to vote. I’ve taken action on local legislation that will hopefully protect my state if Roe v Wade gets overturned. I even went to Town Meeting to vote for a Climate Action Resolution. It really feels like there’s nothing left to do but wait and worry.

Sometimes I think it helps to imagine the worst, so you can let it go—like writing a letter that you’ll never send. (Picture the worst.) OK, that just can’t happen.

Postcards to Florida Democrats

Why Blog?

~ MaryG ~ 10 Comments

I’ve periodically kept diaries and journals over the years.  (I have a whole crate of them in the attic.)  At one point, in my 30s, I read through them all in an attempt to figure out my own personal “theology.”  (I did this for a class led by a minister at my Unitarian Universalist church.)

One embarrassing thing that I had forgotten about myself became clear as I read through those old journals: I was a cheater.  I had been caught numerous times in school passing notes or looking at other people’s papers.  Ouch!

Another thing I learned/remembered was that there was one song that had made a particularly big impression on me.  Billy Joel’s “Only the Good Die Young,” which was released in 1978, basically became my life’s permission slip to blow-off some of the more restrictive tenants of the Catholic Church.  (Google the lyrics and imagine yourself a heretofore “nice” Catholic teenager.)

So why blog?  I mean…it’s public.  Why not just keep journaling – in private?

I guess the answer for me is permanence and connection.

All my old journals could easily get tossed out in the next move, or ruined by the next interior water mishap…or God forbid, burned in a fire.  (Our attic, home of my old box of journals, narrowly escaped a lightning strike last year!  See photo.)  If you put your thoughts on-line, they’re basically permanent.  I realize I may come to regret that, but at the moment I like the idea of having some sort of permanent record that I existed and had thoughts.

The idea that someone else might read my blog, and perhaps relate to it in some way, is also appealing.  As someone who was born and came of age in the pre-internet world, it sometimes seems sad that people are now so glued to their various screens.  Still, I’ve come to understand that meaningful human interaction and connection can and does happen on-line.  Some people seem to find great joy sharing their lives on Facebook and other social media.  I thought blogging might be like that, but with just a bit more room to expand.

Lightening strike
My son in front of a tree that was struck by lightning in our front yard in August 2015.

 

Thoughts from a Field

~ MaryG ~ 1 Comment

IMG_2017

Technically speaking, over the past 20 years, I’ve been a soccer basketball swimming tennis softball track chorus band theater dance and lacrosse mom.  (Not all at the same time, thank goodness!)  Like many parents, I’ve been to hundreds of games, meets, matches, recitals, concerts, and plays. Many, if not most, have been enjoyable to watch.  The best ones are the ones where it looks your child is having a really great time doing whatever it is they’re doing.

There have been a few activities that were not optional for my kids.  For example, learning to swim well was required, as was learning to read music (at least the treble clef).  More than one teary battle was fought over swim team or band practice.  Heck, I knew I wasn’t raising a Phelps or a Mozart, but if they ever fell off a boat, or wanted to sing along in church, at least they’d have a fighting chance!  I also made sure they could ice skate.  Living in New England, it seemed like a must.

So what’s the point of signing kids up…and paying…and driving them all over hell…for the optional activities?

In my opinion, number one is FUN. (If they’re not smiling or happy or excited for at least part of the time, something is wrong.)

Number two is physical FITNESS.  Let’s face it, obesity is a lifelong battle for some people.  We want our kids be active—to know what it feels like to be in good shape and to want to keep it up.

Number three is TEAMWORK.   Being part of a team (or a band, or a choir) requires working together with others for a common goal, an indispensable skill.

Number four is MASTERY.  It’s good to get good at something. Eventually, one or two activities emerge as the favorites.  Continued participation, combined with some self-discipline and hard work, will hopefully result in a feeling of accomplishment.

Parents sacrifice a lot to have their kids participate in activities—money, time, sleep (my daughter was in a choral group that practiced at 7am 5 days a week).  Carpools alone can require dozens of organizational e-mails and texts.  So, before you sign your kid up for (fill in the blank), think about your reasons.  They might be different than mine, but it’s good to know what they are.

Also, don’t forget to ask your kid if they want to be signed-up for a particular activity.  They might say no, which is fine…unless of course it’s swimming lessons.

 

 

 

 

It starts with the glasses.

~ MaryG ~ 3 Comments

8/26/23: Somehow my very first blog post (from November 2015) got “unpublished” and turned back into a draft, so I’m re-publishing it now, 8 years later. UPDATE: my eyes are worse and those millennials are 40.

I remember exactly when it happened. It was four years ago. I had just turned 46 and I was trying to figure out how to use the new digital camera I got for my birthday. I was staring at the tiny little buttons and settings for quite a while. Then I looked up, took the picture, and when I looked back down at my camera, the little settings were blurry. WTF! Just a second ago, they were perfectly clear and now I couldn’t see them at all. I ran inside and sat down. I immediately thought “brain tumor,” but I decided to have some cold water, just in case it was dehydration. Miraculously, when I picked up the camera again, the small settings were clear.

After that, I occasionally had trouble reading tiny print. Having been blessed with perfect 20/20 vision my entire life, this became the first undeniable sign of middle-agedness. Sure enough, the eye doctor confirmed that this type of thing is part of the normal aging process and comfortingly reassured me that “it only gets worse.”

In the beginning, I embraced the fashionable aspect of reading glasses. They come in so many cool colors and designer styles! I bought way more glasses than I actually needed and wore them jauntily atop my head whenever I wasn’t using them. Now, at 50, I just keep a pair in as many rooms and pocketbooks as possible, because it’s a real pain in the neck to run around looking for glasses every time you want to read something smaller than a STOP sign.

But here’s the thing…if you find yourself without a pair, say in a dimly-lit restaurant, or at church choir practice, someone almost always offers you theirs! “Here you go, borrow mine” someone will say, and takes the glasses right off their own face and hands them to you. You see, you’re never alone in the 50+ club. We might not be as skinny and sexy as those 30-year olds at the next table, but we know something that they don’t fully understand yet: Nobody escapes…time marches on for everyone. So when you take those sparkly Target-brand readers from your friend’s ever-so-slightly wrinkled hand, give her the wink that says “thanks and yeah, I know, it’s happening to us too.” I’ve got you old friend.