retirement

Big Day

~ MaryG ~ 12 Comments

After many years of saying no, I agreed to serve on the Executive Team of my church for this fiscal year (summer 24-summer 25). Typically, it’s a three year term, but I’m filling the final year of a term that was vacated by a gentleman who sadly became sick and died.

I didn’t really want to do this heavy lift of a volunteer role, but I had run out of good excuses to say no. (I’m not working and my kids are grown.) Plus, I only had to commit to ONE year (not the usual three).

I gotta say…I am good at leadership. I believe I have significant skills in this area. I have received a lot of positive feedback from the congregation and other members of the Executive Team. So that’s been nice, but the long meetings and endless emailing have led me to conclude that if I’m going to do this type of work-work, I should get paid. I should seek out a role for which I’d start getting paid again for my skills. I’m too young to fully retire. I want to limit my church volunteer roles to the fun stuff (ie singing in the choir, circle dance, helping organize the jewelry booth at the country fair).

One thing I did on the Executive Team this year is project management. We got a donation to create a “memorial garden” — a contemplative outdoor space where people can go to reflect. We set a goal of March 16 to dedicate the space (in honor of the donor’s late wife’s birthday) and by George—it is happening today!

Later this morning, after the service, we will gather on the side lawn of the church to dedicate our new space and dramatically unveil the new stone monument at its center. The weather is going to be warm (for Massachusetts) and people are excited. The donor’s extended family and the artist who created the monument will be joining us.

Here’s a group of us in front of the 1.2 ton stone monument, which got installed in the nick of time on Thursday.

I have made lemon squares from scratch for the reception afterwards because it’s a Big Day. (And Big Days require something a bit more special than brownies from a box.)

I taste tested my lemon squares last night and they’re good.
Recipe

Waxing gibbous

~ MaryG ~ 8 Comments
Daily writing prompt
How do you want to retire?
View all responses
Waxing gibbous moon around 4:30pm yesterday

From WikiHow:

  • During the waxing gibbous moon phase, the moon’s illumination is increasing with more than half of its surface being lit up. This is the phase before a full moon.
  • The waxing gibbous moon signifies the final stretch of completing a project. It is the phase for knocking off tasks and tying up loose ends.

Maybe this is a good metaphor for retirement. Try to go out on a high note—building to your full power. Maybe retirement should be the time when you become the best, fullest, most authentic version of yourself.

Saying yes

~ MaryG ~ 6 Comments
Daily writing prompt
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
View all responses

I was good at saying “no” to things for many years, especially volunteer roles in my church and in the schools. I had too much going on with the kids and work. I did my part for various fundraisers and events, but I wasn’t one to get roped into running the whole thing. In fact, a woman once told me she admired my ability to say “no.” (possibly a backhanded compliment)

Now that I’m retired (there, I said it) I’m ready to say “yes” to more things, especially if it’s something fun. Kudos to my husband, who is still working, but says “yes” to quite a few of my proposals. He doesn’t agree to everything I want to do together, but I’d estimate that he says “yes” 75% of the time. For example, we went and saw ALL TEN Best Picture nominees before the Oscar broadcast. And he’s been especially good about visiting museums with me. (He likes museums too, but it’s a bit more of a sacrifice for him to make the time to go.)

On Saturday, we went to a very cool exhibit at Boston’s Museum of Fine Arts about Hallyu (Korean Wave)—the surge of popular culture from South Korea that started with K-drama and cinema in the 90s and then spread across the globe with K-pop and its massive fandoms in the mid 2000s. K-beauty and fashion has also been a huge cultural export and Korean designers’ work was on display. After that, we went to a Korean restaurant to round out the K-culture experience.

A K-pop idol’s costume at the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston
Reconstruction of a set from “Parasite,” the 2019 film directed and co-written by Bong Joon-ho. It was the first non-English language film to ever win the Academy Award for Best Picture.
The costumes from Squid Game
Fashions by South Korean designers
Korean “sticky ribs”

Related post:

Are you retired?

Dear Mary

~ MaryG ~ 7 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.
View all responses

Dear Centenarian Mary,

Congratulations! We made it to the big ten-oh. I hope 2065 is treating us well and that we haven’t run out of money. Seriously, we’ve lived 8 years longer than our financial planner modeled. (I hope I didn’t fuck us by retiring at 58.)

In case you’ve forgotten, 2024 was quite a year. If the United States is now a dictatorship under Baron Trump, it’s not due to lack of effort on our part. We worked hard to try to stop his wretched orange father from overturning democracy.

Here we our with our activist friends in 2024

Hopefully things took a turn for the better in 2025—the year we turned 60. Hopefully. Fingers crossed that we get to go out on a high note.

Love,

Middle-aged Mary

Related post:

The Big One

Are you retired?

~ MaryG ~ 19 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.
View all responses

Having recently been through a bunch of toxic workplace bullshit that resulted in me resigning my position a couple years earlier than originally planned, I’m not loving the question, “So, are you retired now?”

I mean, yeah, I guess I am. I can afford to stop working for money now. But it does feel unusual and rather lazy, when nearly every other able-bodied person my age is still working full-time.

I know, I know. This is a First World problem that I’m lucky to have.

If I answer unenthusiastically, “yeah, I guess so,” sometimes I get “oh, I only ask because you look too young to be retired,” which is 100% the correct way to recover from asking me the question in the first place. Playing to someone’s vanity, when put your foot in your mouth, can work quite well.

Selfie, March 2023

The one question that is truly non-recoverable from, if you ask the wrong woman, is: “when are you due?” Just don’t. Ever.

It’s great to be done with Danielle

~ MaryG ~ 2 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?
View all responses

A year ago, I would not have anticipated being unemployed (or very possibly, I’ll just say it: retired) by December 2023, although I had been thinking about it.

I had worked in a job I really loved for nearly 20 years, but it was definitely getting repetitive. ALL my requests had been honored (full-time status; remote status, etc.) except ONE. And the one was that I really didn’t want to report to my toxic supervisor Suzanne Danielle (her real name) any longer. But I thought I’d put up with Danielle until I turned 60 (at least). The salary was quite good and the benefits were great.

Well, a “last straw” event led to my resigning and leaving just after Thanksgiving. As of today, I think I made the correct decision. I’m so happy to never have to deal with Danielle again – ever. We’ll see how I feel about being unemployed/retired once the excitement of the holidays has passed.

In the meantime, my son came home from college yeserday (yay) and I made an attempt at one of NYT Cooking’s top 50 recipes of the year. They call it “Marry Me Chicken.” Supposedly, if you’re single and you make this for someone, they’ll put a ring on it fast. Here‘s the recipe. Here’s how mine came out:

I have no notes. I followed the recipe as written and it’s a winner.

Contemplating early retirement

~ MaryG ~ 6 Comments

What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?

I’ve enjoyed my job for many years. I’ve gone from contractor, to part-time employee, to full-time employee with the same organization over the past 18 years.

The organization went through a rocky merger with a larger one in 2017 and it’s just never been as fun as it was in the old days. The money and benefits are better, but I don’t like the person I ended up having to report to. And there are other problems.

So, the biggest risk I’d like to take, but haven’t been able to (yet), would be to give my notice. The risk is less about the income, and more about the void. What am I going to do with all that time and mental energy? What do healthy retired people in their 60s actually do all day?

If you could retire at 60, would you?