Watercolor Class Week 1: Just Paint

Started one of my art classes today and was wildly impressed with the community arts center where it’s being offered. I’ve lived within half an hour of this place for years and I had no idea how nice it is. Galleries, theaters, studios…kilns! It really has a lot going on.

Anyway, our teacher’s approach was to basically just dive right in. I haven’t used watercolor paints since elementary school, so that was a bit unnerving. I hadn’t even unwrapped my paints yet. Shouldn’t she teach us some sort of technique first? I guess she wanted to see where everyone is at. There are 12 of us in the class (all women) and some are total beginners, but others are quite experienced.

She pulled out a bin of objects and I got two plastic pears.

Day 1 painting. Let’s see if I improve over the next 8 weeks.

Our teacher has a degree (or two) in visual art and is a wonderful ceramicist, but said she’s “self-taught” in watercolor painting. She said she learned by trial and error and feels that’s the best way to learn. It seems like she’s one of these “there are no wrong answers” type of people.

I tend to like a bit more formality, so we’ll see how this goes…

My classmates seem nice.

Fawn in Snow

After being a finalist (and not getting) two different paid positions earlier this year, I’m feeling more and more like I actually am retired. My 30+ year career as a fundraiser feels over. It’s not that I couldn’t get some job in the field if I really wanted or needed one, but there just aren’t very many listings that excite me. And I don’t want to work a full-time job that I’m not excited about at this point in my life. I’m going to keep my LinkedIn profile open to recruiters, just in case someone reaches out with the perfect thing, but I’m not holding my breath.

[Side note: I know I’m lucky to have the option to not work at this age. All of my friends my own age are still working. My husband is still working part-time. All I can say is, we have been pretty diligent savers for most of our marriage and we got hooked up with a professional financial advisor early on. Left to our own devices, I’m not sure we’d be in this position. Honestly, my eyes just glaze over when this guy meets with us, but I do trust him. We’ve been with him for 30 years now.]

So, the question becomes: what to do? My daughter doesn’t need much help with my granddaughter and my outdoor summer pool closes Labor Day. I’m going to have a lot of time on my hands soon. I discovered last year that serving on my church’s governing board is not my thing. And my prior level of political activism (when I still thought we could stop Trump) feels futile now.

It seems like I should take advantage of this time and my health to start something new. After considering a number of options (from learning French to getting in way better shape), I’ve landed on something old. Something I used to love as a teenager. Art. I’ve enrolled in one drawing and one painting class for the fall. We’ll see where it goes, but I am excited.

Fawn in Snow, 1980, pastels, 56”x36”

Related:

Drawing

America the Beautiful

I just turned my house upside down looking for our “America the Beautiful” National Parks Annual Senior Pass that we bought last year to go to Yellowstone and Grand Tetons. It lets people 62+ get a whole car full of people into any national park for free. (It only costs $20, if you buy it in person.)

Good news! I found our pass in my husband’s wallet, even though he checked there himself. (Senior citizens cannot be trusted in these matters!) And even better, it’s good through September 30. So, I can book a post-Labor Day trip to one of our great national parks. I basically have to, right? I can’t let that Senior Pass go to waste!

I thought about Yosemite, because it’s such a wildly popular national park, especially for international travelers, but that’s a big commitment for people from the East Coast.

So, the national park I’ve most wanted to return to for many years (I haven’t been there since 1976) and that my husband has never been to is….

Drumroll

ACADIA

In the great state of Maine.

I’m going through my Bucket List so fast you guys. I’ll be good to kick it by the time I’m 65. 😉

Rejection

I left my full-time career in late 2023 with the thought of potentially retiring early (at age 58.5) and devoting more time to working on the 2024 election and other volunteer work. We were all done paying for our kids’ college educations, our investments were looking good, and Trump was safely out of the White House with many pending criminal indictments.

My how things can change in 18 months.

On the very bright side, I became a grandmother. Nothing is better than that.

BUT, everything else is looking very scary and one way to try to protect myself and my family would be to start earning money again. I mean who knows what the hell is coming next with this Mad King in the Oval Office—World War III, a deep recession or depression, another pandemic, civil war—any damn thing can happen with him in charge. Money won’t stop the fall of democracy in the United States, but maybe it could help protect my own family. And maybe that’s all any of us can really do.

Anyhow, I opened up my LinkedIn profile to recruiters and immediately got several interviews. One job looked perfect for me and I made it to the final round of interviews. I absolutely loved the organization. I was sure they were going to offer it to me.

Whelp, I found out yesterday that they decided to “move forward with a different finalist.”

OUCH! How dare they?? I was perfect for the job and I really wanted it!

So much for a great job just dropping into my lap. Am I really up for a protracted, arduous job search? I don’t know. I may be too old for this shit.

Related:

Are you retired?

Big Day

After many years of saying no, I agreed to serve on the Executive Team of my church for this fiscal year (summer 24-summer 25). Typically, it’s a three year term, but I’m filling the final year of a term that was vacated by a gentleman who sadly became sick and died.

I didn’t really want to do this heavy lift of a volunteer role, but I had run out of good excuses to say no. (I’m not working and my kids are grown.) Plus, I only had to commit to ONE year (not the usual three).

I gotta say…I am good at leadership. I believe I have significant skills in this area. I have received a lot of positive feedback from the congregation and other members of the Executive Team. So that’s been nice, but the long meetings and endless emailing have led me to conclude that if I’m going to do this type of work-work, I should get paid. I should seek out a role for which I’d start getting paid again for my skills. I’m too young to fully retire. I want to limit my church volunteer roles to the fun stuff (ie singing in the choir, circle dance, helping organize the jewelry booth at the country fair).

One thing I did on the Executive Team this year is project management. We got a donation to create a “memorial garden” — a contemplative outdoor space where people can go to reflect. We set a goal of March 16 to dedicate the space (in honor of the donor’s late wife’s birthday) and by George—it is happening today!

Later this morning, after the service, we will gather on the side lawn of the church to dedicate our new space and dramatically unveil the new stone monument at its center. The weather is going to be warm (for Massachusetts) and people are excited. The donor’s extended family and the artist who created the monument will be joining us.

Here’s a group of us in front of the 1.2 ton stone monument, which got installed in the nick of time on Thursday.

I have made lemon squares from scratch for the reception afterwards because it’s a Big Day. (And Big Days require something a bit more special than brownies from a box.)

I taste tested my lemon squares last night and they’re good.
Recipe

Waxing gibbous

Daily writing prompt
How do you want to retire?
Waxing gibbous moon around 4:30pm yesterday

From WikiHow:

  • During the waxing gibbous moon phase, the moon’s illumination is increasing with more than half of its surface being lit up. This is the phase before a full moon.
  • The waxing gibbous moon signifies the final stretch of completing a project. It is the phase for knocking off tasks and tying up loose ends.

Maybe this is a good metaphor for retirement. Try to go out on a high note—building to your full power. Maybe retirement should be the time when you become the best, fullest, most authentic version of yourself.

Saying yes

Daily writing prompt
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

I was good at saying “no” to things for many years, especially volunteer roles in my church and in the schools. I had too much going on with the kids and work. I did my part for various fundraisers and events, but I wasn’t one to get roped into running the whole thing. In fact, a woman once told me she admired my ability to say “no.” (possibly a backhanded compliment)

Now that I’m retired (there, I said it) I’m ready to say “yes” to more things, especially if it’s something fun. Kudos to my husband, who is still working, but says “yes” to quite a few of my proposals. He doesn’t agree to everything I want to do together, but I’d estimate that he says “yes” 75% of the time. For example, we went and saw ALL TEN Best Picture nominees before the Oscar broadcast. And he’s been especially good about visiting museums with me. (He likes museums too, but it’s a bit more of a sacrifice for him to make the time to go.)

On Saturday, we went to a very cool exhibit at Boston’s Museum of Fine Arts about Hallyu (Korean Wave)—the surge of popular culture from South Korea that started with K-drama and cinema in the 90s and then spread across the globe with K-pop and its massive fandoms in the mid 2000s. K-beauty and fashion has also been a huge cultural export and Korean designers’ work was on display. After that, we went to a Korean restaurant to round out the K-culture experience.

A K-pop idol’s costume at the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston
Reconstruction of a set from “Parasite,” the 2019 film directed and co-written by Bong Joon-ho. It was the first non-English language film to ever win the Academy Award for Best Picture.
The costumes from Squid Game
Fashions by South Korean designers
Korean “sticky ribs”

Related post:

Are you retired?

Dear Mary

Daily writing prompt
Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.

Dear Centenarian Mary,

Congratulations! We made it to the big ten-oh. I hope 2065 is treating us well and that we haven’t run out of money. Seriously, we’ve lived 8 years longer than our financial planner modeled. (I hope I didn’t fuck us by retiring at 58.)

In case you’ve forgotten, 2024 was quite a year. If the United States is now a dictatorship under Baron Trump, it’s not due to lack of effort on our part. We worked hard to try to stop his wretched orange father from overturning democracy.

Here we our with our activist friends in 2024

Hopefully things took a turn for the better in 2025—the year we turned 60. Hopefully. Fingers crossed that we get to go out on a high note.

Love,

Middle-aged Mary

Related post:

The Big One

Are you retired?

Daily writing prompt
What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.

Having recently been through a bunch of toxic workplace bullshit that resulted in me resigning my position a couple years earlier than originally planned, I’m not loving the question, “So, are you retired now?”

I mean, yeah, I guess I am. I can afford to stop working for money now. But it does feel unusual and rather lazy, when nearly every other able-bodied person my age is still working full-time.

I know, I know. This is a First World problem that I’m lucky to have.

If I answer unenthusiastically, “yeah, I guess so,” sometimes I get “oh, I only ask because you look too young to be retired,” which is 100% the correct way to recover from asking me the question in the first place. Playing to someone’s vanity, when put your foot in your mouth, can work quite well.

Selfie, March 2023

The one question that is truly non-recoverable from, if you ask the wrong woman, is: “when are you due?” Just don’t. Ever.