rail trails

Supporting Susan

~ MaryG ~ 12 Comments

We have a woman in our church choir with dementia or Alzheimer’s (not sure of her official diagnosis). She has a lovely singing voice. In fact, she was a music teacher at one point.

But Susan (not her real name) is getting worse. She has an extremely difficult time keeping track of her sheet music and the folder it lives in. Last Sunday, as we began to warm-up before the congregation arrived, she turned to me and said, “I have no idea why I’m standing here, but I was a music teacher once.” She gets upset when she doesn’t know what’s going on. She’s never caused a scene or melted down, but her anxiety is a real issue. She needs constant reassurance. And she can get snippy with people who are trying to help her.

Her partner Jim is a nice man who has already lost both of his adult daughters to diseases. He’s doing his best, but this has got to be really tough on him.

The plan now is to make a formal schedule whereby her fellow sopranos will take turns supporting her each week, so that nobody gets stuck doing it all the time. It’s going to mean showing up early, sitting with her, making sure she has music, reassuring her throughout the rehearsal and performance, and then making sure she gets back to Jim.

To be perfectly honest, I’m not looking forward to it. I never knew this woman before she had dementia. She’s not a family member of mine. I have no special fondness for her.

But clearly, I need to step up. That’s the whole point of church, especially Unitarian Universalist churches, where belief in God is optional. “Community” is the goal. I know that if I get dementia (or cancer or anything else), these people will support me. They are GOOD PEOPLE. Most are better than me. (I’m not just saying that. They really are.)

Here’s something Susan said to me in one of her sweeter moments: “I have a trick for when I don’t know what’s going on. I smile more.”

I’m going to try to remember that. Smile more. If she’s annoying me with her inability to follow along and constant questions, I’ll smile at her. She has a lovely smile. And so do I.

Selfie on the rail trail. I was trying to get a pic for a self-portrait for painting class.
Our rail trail yesterday

Smiling in annoying or uncomfortable situations might not help. But it can’t hurt. I think this might be a uniquely American thing.

The indignity of falling

~ MaryG ~ 17 Comments

I was determined to close all three rings on my Apple Watch yesterday, so I went out for a walk in the rain. I wore a baseball hat and a large LL Bean raincoat with the hood up. My peripheral vision may have been slightly impaired.

I was listening to music from my phone in my pocket, when I briefly looked at my watch to see how far I’d walked. I must have stepped on a piece of loose asphalt and turned my ankle.

I went down. All the way down. I landed on my left side and caught myself with both wrists. I was briefly laying on my side in the wet street (a quiet cul de sac).

My watch started beeping and tapping my wrist telling me that I’d fallen and asking if it should call for help. That part was actually nice. Someone cared! But I didn’t think anything was broken, so I hit the little X to decline.

What the fuck ankle! You can’t handle stepping on a little bump?? (This ankle has let me down before.) How many times have I implored my mother and others “watch your step, don’t fall”? Falling is the worst. It’s sudden. It’s stupid. You weren’t watching. Dumb.

A few days ago I voluntarily got down on the ground to take this photo of a mushroom along the side of the rail trail where I typically walk, which has no loose asphalt.

Rail Trail A**holes

~ MaryG ~ 16 Comments

Name your top three pet peeves.

  1. Cyclists on the rail trail who don’t yield to pedestrians. They like to “thread the needle” through two pedestrians (or groups of pedestrians) walking in opposite directions, coming within inches of the walkers. Just wait until it’s safe to pass, jerk!
  2. E-bikes on the (very flat) rail trail moving at top speed. Technically e-bikes are considered “non-motorized” vehicles, so they’re allowed, but they can go very fast and seem dangerous. Typically, the people choosing to use all the power their e-bikes have to offer are quite fat and should really be pedaling (in my opinion).
  3. Anyone on the rail trail in MAGA gear. Honestly, just fuck off. This is Massachusetts.

How’s that? Angry enough for a Tuesday? Thanks WordPress. You finally let me answer the Daily Prompt and now I’m mad! 😡