Obama

ARE people basically good?

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments

There seems to be a commonly held belief that people are basically good. That despite all the problems in the world, humans are decent. People seem to attribute this to the fact that we “all want the same things” (peace, safety, etc.) Two friends of mine (a well-off white couple in their 70s) travel the country more than half of each year in their deluxe RV. They go everywhere—red states, blue states, purple states, Canada. (Come to think of it, they never seem to cross over into Mexico.) Anyway, when they get back, they always gush about how wonderful people are.

I must say—lately, I’m really questioning this whole idea.

The obvious example is war. All war, but Gaza in particular. I mean—holy shit. How are we allowing that to go on? Not just allowing it—enabling it. Ten-year old boys getting shot, while trying to bring a bit of food back to their starving families. The terrorism that started that particular war on October 7, 2023 included children getting murdered. And not by bombs. Individual human adults consciously murdered individual human children that day, including at least one 10-month old baby.

But back to America.

The level of depravity in the man who currently occupies the White House is well-documented. His words are so objectionable to me that I typically don’t read them directly. But I hear about them and they always make me think about the amount of “overlooking” millions of Americans had to do to allow him to become our highest leader—twice. Would a country that’s filled with “basically good” people do that?

Just one of endless examples of his cruelty—very often directed at women and people of color

And because nothing else has worked, Governor Gavin Newsom of California is imitating Trump’s cruel, egomaniacal writing style in an effort to try to fight back against Trumpism. Even the most profoundly “decent” leader of my lifetime, Barack Obama, says that what Newsom is trying to do is justified, given where we are.

So yeah, I’m not so sure about the “basically good” thing anymore.

President Obama tearing up as he spoke of the slaying of 20 first-graders in Newtown, Connecticut.

My 80s friend

~ MaryG ~ 11 Comments

At Christmas dinner yesterday, my father told me he had run into my old friend Debbie at the fish market. They recognized each other and exchanged some quick pleasantries.

Debbie and I were neighborhood friends who ended up becoming close friends for many years. She knew my parents well and I knew her family too. Her dad was a great guy. We took several trips to California and Florida in our late teens and twenties. We did a fair number of edgy things together including lots of underage drinking, shoplifting, dine-n-dashing, and at least one crazy 80s Spring Break trip to Fort Lauderdale. (Wet t-shirt contest anyone?) Debbie was 18 months older than me (a year ahead of me in high school) and liked to party and dance. I’m sure my first nightclub experience was with her. Even though she was a true redhead, she loved the sun like I did and we went to the beach as often as possible. We went skiing a few times too and once spun out in my mother’s car driving in a snowstorm. We did a 180 and hit the guardrail. (Debbie was driving at the time and we were fine.) In fact, we wanted to carry on with our ski trip with one headlight dangling, but when we called my parents from a gas station, they made us come home.

Debbie and I stayed friends for many years through a variety of life experiences including her being severely burned in a freak accident. (I remember visiting her in Shriner’s Burn Center where I saw the most horrifically scarred young children.) We knew each other’s deepest, darkest secrets. We attended each other’s weddings and then drifted apart as we became mothers and got busy raising kids. Still, we sent Christmas cards and occasionally saw each other in person.

Then, at some point during the second Obama administration her right-leaning political posts on Facebook caused a tiff between us. We unfriended each other and that was that. Some years later, I felt badly about it, but figured she had probably morphed into a Trump supporter, so what would be the purpose of reaching out. We were too different by then.

You know that expression about some friends being for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime? Well, at one point I might’ve thought we’d be friends for a lifetime, but it turns out we were friends for a season. And our season was the 1980s. Big time.

Christmas 1989 (towards the end of our close friendship)

If I had to pick one song that tends to trigger a Debbie memory, it would be Kool & the Gang’s Celebration. I picture us dancing around in front of a mirror, sipping some alcohol, while we made our hair as big & fluffy as possible for whatever came next.