Massachusetts

Supporting Susan

~ MaryG ~ 12 Comments

We have a woman in our church choir with dementia or Alzheimer’s (not sure of her official diagnosis). She has a lovely singing voice. In fact, she was a music teacher at one point.

But Susan (not her real name) is getting worse. She has an extremely difficult time keeping track of her sheet music and the folder it lives in. Last Sunday, as we began to warm-up before the congregation arrived, she turned to me and said, “I have no idea why I’m standing here, but I was a music teacher once.” She gets upset when she doesn’t know what’s going on. She’s never caused a scene or melted down, but her anxiety is a real issue. She needs constant reassurance. And she can get snippy with people who are trying to help her.

Her partner Jim is a nice man who has already lost both of his adult daughters to diseases. He’s doing his best, but this has got to be really tough on him.

The plan now is to make a formal schedule whereby her fellow sopranos will take turns supporting her each week, so that nobody gets stuck doing it all the time. It’s going to mean showing up early, sitting with her, making sure she has music, reassuring her throughout the rehearsal and performance, and then making sure she gets back to Jim.

To be perfectly honest, I’m not looking forward to it. I never knew this woman before she had dementia. She’s not a family member of mine. I have no special fondness for her.

But clearly, I need to step up. That’s the whole point of church, especially Unitarian Universalist churches, where belief in God is optional. “Community” is the goal. I know that if I get dementia (or cancer or anything else), these people will support me. They are GOOD PEOPLE. Most are better than me. (I’m not just saying that. They really are.)

Here’s something Susan said to me in one of her sweeter moments: “I have a trick for when I don’t know what’s going on. I smile more.”

I’m going to try to remember that. Smile more. If she’s annoying me with her inability to follow along and constant questions, I’ll smile at her. She has a lovely smile. And so do I.

Selfie on the rail trail. I was trying to get a pic for a self-portrait for painting class.
Our rail trail yesterday

Smiling in annoying or uncomfortable situations might not help. But it can’t hurt. I think this might be a uniquely American thing.

No Kings

~ MaryG ~ 8 Comments

Quick update since my last post.

I fit everything I planned onto my poster. It was a tight squeeze, but I did it.

Liberal churches like mine are ready to show up on Saturday – peacefully.

XOXOXO

Mary G,

Retired Grandma

😀 🌈 🦄

Cellpic Sunday—The Country Fair

~ MaryG ~ 7 Comments

My church runs an annual “country fair” which serves as both a fundraiser for the church and a fall festival for the town. A portion of the proceeds are donated to a local nonprofit each year.

It’s always in early October and it has been going on for decades. Different teams work to prepare and then implement the various revenue areas: the book sale, the country store, “trash & treasure,” face painting, bake sale, etc.

For the past few years, I’ve worked jewelry. We get a tremendous amount of jewelry donated by members and friends of the church throughout the year—everything from diamond rings to Mardi Gras beads.

Sorting, pricing and displaying it is a big job! There are about five of us that usually handle this task, with Julie being our fearless leader. Julie is a former Peace Corps volunteer and retired high school teacher with an eye for precious metals. She’s extremely good at making sure we don’t accidentally give away a real gold ring or a vintage sterling brooch for $5.

She tends to monitor and sell the “real jewelry” at the fair while the rest of us sell the mounds and mounds of “costume jewelry.” She can be tough when needed, especially on the early birds who are clearly looking to score some real gold for next to nothing.

Julie has permanently dedicated a significant portion of her basement to donated jewelry, props on which to display jewelry, and tools to evaluate and repair jewelry.

Here’s my snap of Julie the Jewelry Queen setting up necklace displays in the church office the night before the Country Fair.

And here’s a cell pic of our group in action yesterday. (It was taken by our minister.)

Posted for John’s Cellpic Sunday.

Most of us wear our church t-shirts to work at the fair which have our shared UU values on the back.

Two vaccines and a coupon

~ MaryG ~ 19 Comments

The CVS app said that the newly updated Covid vaccine is available so I decided to get one while I can (before the brain worm host sends us back to the 1940s).

I easily booked an appointment to get both the new Covid vaccine and the updated flu shot at my local Massachusetts CVS. Since I’m under 65, I had to choose a “condition” to qualify for the Covid vaccine of which many were listed including mood disorders and having a BMI over 25. I chose “current or former smoker” which is true, but nobody asked for any proof of that.

Nobody asked me for my insurance card or charged me any money. I got one jab in each arm and a 50% off coupon. I bought some moisturizer that’s supposed to make me look younger with the coupon.

Boston

~ MaryG ~ 8 Comments
The USS Constitution (“Old Ironsides”) with the Bunker Hill Monument in the background (August 21, 2025)

Do you know which great American city has been fighting authoritarians for 250 years? Sit down Philadelphia, because it’s Boston.

Fought on June 17, 1775, the Battle of Bunker Hill was one of the first major battles of the American Revolutionary War. Despite being technically a British victory, the battle showed that colonial forces could stand up to the British army, significantly boosting American morale.

In 1776, with the signing of the Declaration of Independence in Philadelphia (OK Philly we see you) the colonies formally declared themselves a new nation, requiring defense both on land and at sea. By 1794, with independence secured but U.S. ships vulnerable to attacks by pirates and foreign powers, Congress authorized the building of six frigates, including the USS Constitution.

In 1797, the USS Constitution was launched in Boston Harbor. During the War of 1812, she defeated multiple British ships in single day combat. In her most famous victory, British cannonballs bounced off her hull which was built with dense live oak (60% denser than white oak), thus the nickname Old Ironsides. The ship become a powerful symbol of the young republic’s survival and determination.

The ship in my photo is not a replica, it’s the actual USS Constitution. While she has undergone many restorations (her timbers have been replaced over time), her keel and much of her structure remain historic. She’s berthed at the Charlestown Navy Yard in Boston Harbor and is still an active U.S. Navy ship, with a crew of active-duty sailors who give tours.

Now check out Boston’s current mayor—Michelle Wu—telling overreaching, authoritarian President Donald Trump to go fuck himself in so many words.

Summah

~ MaryG ~ 18 Comments
Boiled lobsters for sale at Woodman’s in Essex, MA
The tip jar at Woodman’s—a family-run business since 1914
The “Italian garden” at the Crane Estate in Ipswich, MA (my Italian is on the far right 😉)
The property is now owned and managed by a nonprofit organization: The Trustees of Reservations
The Great House (with a wedding reception underway on the lawn)
The “rose garden” at the Crane Estate is now mostly filled with more sustainable plantings.
The Crane Estate’s salt marsh is part of the largest continuous salt marsh system north of Long Island, spanning nearly 25,000 acres across Essex County.
Everyone around here knows that the one big drawback to this part of our beautiful state is Greenhead fly season. Those little buggers love the salt marshes and their bites really hurt! I was not being bothered by the flies, but they were really going after my poor husband. Maybe they prefer 100% Italian-Americans. (I’m only 50%.) My Irish was protecting me ☘️ 😊

“Summah” is Boston for “summer.” The truth is I’ve never had much of a Boston accent and my husband has mostly lost his, but I do like to hear it when I’m away from home. There are different versions of it, based largely on socioeconomic class. In my opinion, the upper class “Kennedy” version is fading away. You rarely hear it. (Listen to JFK say “summer” at minute 6:00 of this speech.)

The middle class/blue collar version of the accent is way more common. Former Boston Mayor Mahty Walsh had a good one.

We’ve got four distinct seasons here in Massachusetts and there’s just no doubt about it…

Summah’s the best.

60 Happens

~ MaryG ~ 21 Comments

Lo and behold, I’m able to answer today’s daily prompt! (Typically I see a message saying that I have already answered the daily prompt, as I’ve been blogging regularly for well over a year now.)

How do you waste the most time every day?

The big news is that I started this blog when I turned 50 and named it accordingly, but the seasons…they go round and round…and now I’m 60.

And, I’m still wasting far too much time looking at social media. I’ve even added TikTok to my repertoire. Oy.

But here’s what I’m going to try to stop wasting so much time on this decade: controlling situations and worrying about outcomes. I’m really REALLY going to try to live in the moment more. I want to enjoy my life.

Stephanie’s terrific response about worry reminded me that just recognizing when you’re fretting is a step in the right direction.

From the moment we get a positive pregnancy test to the day we die, moms will worry about their kids, but the active “molding” phase of that job is over for me. I can relax. I’ve told my kids everything I think they should know. We got them all the shots, hosted all the birthday parties, went to all the games, helped with all the homework, paid all the tuition bills. We did good! If I die tomorrow, they will be fine.

So, as a first step, here’s three things I enjoyed recently:

  1. Swimming outside – my outdoor lap pool is open for the season and how lucky am I that I get to swim in a nice, warm, sun-filled lap lane?
  2. Strawberries 🍓- It’s strawberry season here and they are delicious.
  3. Books – I got a free Audibles subscription for two months and have started listening to books, which is a very different experience. I find that memoirs read by the author are especially good, because they know exactly which words to emphasize! (Currently listening to Molly Jong-Fast’s new book: “How to Lose Your Mother: A Daughter’s Memoir”)

Final thought: hating DJT and everything he represents and does has been a pretty major feature of the past ten years for me. In order to enjoy my life more, I need to somehow let that go a bit. My feeling is that maybe by staying involved in my church (which is full of activists), I can feel like I’m doing something without letting the political situation make me feel hopeless. Would love any tips that other like-minded people may have about this.

Massachusetts farmstand strawberries