Grandmother love

Before I became a grandmother, I asked a couple of people to describe how it felt to have a grandchild. I wanted to know exactly how it felt, as compared to becoming a parent. Do you love the grandchild just as much as your own children? Or is it a little bit less…like a “once removed” sort of feeling? How did you feel during labor & delivery? Do you worry about the baby’s health and safety constantly, like you did with your own children, or are you able to leave the worrying to the parents? Would you throw yourself in front of a moving train (or jump into the shark tank at the aquarium) to save a grandchild? Did you love the grandchild immediately (like a parent does) or do they need to grow on you over time?

Inquiring minds wanted to know!

To be honest, I never got a good, straightforward, detailed answer. Everyone just said things like “it’s amazing.” Some said, “it’s even better than being a parent.” My own mother said it was “exciting.” (Gee mom, that’s all you got? Not much of a description!) My sister-in-law said she “just wanted to cry.”

So, I’m going to go ahead and answer my own questions for other inquiring minds:

Do you love your grandchild just as much as your own children?

Yes. And I felt love the minute I saw the detailed ultrasound pics, with a clear little head and hands. It was primal. I wanted to cry. And the feeling of holding my child’s child for the first time was like…experiencing the greatest gift the universe has to offer. There’s no emoji for it!

Or is it a little bit less…like a “once removed” sort of feeling?

No, it’s not a once removed feeling. It’s actually doubled, because you love their parent so much too. It’s like you love each of them individually and you also love & celebrate the parent/child “couple.” I like happy pictures of my daughter and granddaughter together almost as much as cute pics of the baby alone.

How did you feel during labor & delivery?

Extremely anxious! Not going to lie—it was not fun! It may be worse when it’s your own daughter in labor.

Do you worry about the baby’s health and safety constantly, like you did with your own children, or are you able to leave the worrying to the parents?

Fortunately my granddaughter was born healthy to two responsible parents, so I do not worry about her healthy and safety constantly. But I do worry. I worry about infectious diseases and environmental toxins. I also worry about car accidents.

Would you throw yourself in front of a moving train to save a grandchild, if you had to?

Yes

Do you love the grandchild immediately (like a parent does) or do they need to grow on you over time?

For me, it was immediate.

My granddaughter is just under six months old, so that’s my report for now!

Here’s a throwback photo that my parents included in a slideshow they made me for my 50th birthday. I’m assuming my mother felt something like I do now.