This story on Instagram about a tax-payer funded Army helicopter hovering at very low altitude outside Kid Rock’s home in Tennessee (presumably to entertain him) reminded me of something my across-the-street neighbor did about ten years ago.

My neighbor Eric, a large and pompous French-speaking Canadian, somehow convinced a helicopter pilot to “drop in” to our neighborhood so Eric could wave to his kids from the sky. We had absolutely no warning that this was going to happen. I was just sitting in my family room one day when the sound of a helicopter became alarmingly loud. I looked out my kitchen window and there was a freaking helicopter hovering just above a tree in our side yard. It scared the shit out of me. I ran to the basement because I guess it seemed safer there. My husband and son ran to the front window and saw Eric’s long-suffering Parisian wife and their two little kids waving to “Papa” from their driveway.

I was so mad. That helicopter scared me half to death. I could not imagine what was happening. You really don’t understand how loud those things are until one is hovering just above your head. What if it had clipped a tree and crashed? How stupid!

I called the police non-emergency line and told them what had happened. They said they had no jurisdiction over the skies, but that it sounded “not right.” They sent over a squad car and some cop had a chat with know-it-all Eric. I don’t know if the pilot ever got into any kind of trouble. (He should have.)

Eric never apologized for scaring me so badly and that was effectively the end of our relationship with The Frenchies across the street. I never spoke to either of them again and only wave if absolutely necessary. We watch from afar as they continue to make questionable “improvements” to their home, including bricking over the entire back half of their property, which we now refer to as Versailles.

That sure is some petty, suburban drama, right?

Oh, and a few years later, when Eric emailed us about putting a basketball hoop in the turnaround (which is public property abutting our yard), my husband was inclined to not object but I told Eric to put his hoop in his own driveway like everyone else. The nerve of that guy!