GenX

The Golden Bachelor

~ MaryG ~ 5 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
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This blog has been more about looking back. Nostalgia. Turning 50 will do that. At 50, you know that your life is likely more than half over. Only 0.02% of people in the United States live to be 100.

Now, with 50 in the rear view and 60 fast approaching, I’m paying much more attention to what older people are doing, rather than trying to keep up with the latest trends. (One of the great things about leaving my job in November was that I never had to learn the new software tool that they were about to roll out. It was supposedly going to make things easier, but was already causing fights.)

Yes, there are many hardships in aging, particularly health-related ones, and all the losses–friends, parents, spouses. If you were lucky and never felt true, aching grief before age 50, it’s coming and there’s really nothing you can do to prepare for it.

So, I was basically ABC’s target audience for The Golden Bachelor. I am not a card-carrying member of “Bachelor Nation,” but I did watch a couple seasons early on. I was captivated by Trista, the very first Bachelorette who is now 51(!) and happily married to Ryan, the guy she met on the show. I watched their wedding on live TV twenty years ago. The intervening seasons did not interest me, especially when the son of a friend was cast and I learned a bit about what goes on behind the scenes. Spoiler alert: nothing is real. All the situations are staged.

STILL, I could not resist The Golden Bachelor, which featured 72-year old widower Gerry and twenty-two women over 60 competing for his love. Many, including the “winner” Theresa (a widow), were over 70. Yes, there was a lot of cringe. Yet, I cried at Gerry & Theresa’s televised wedding last night. When their daughters spoke about how they wanted their parents to find happiness again, after such profound sorrow. Theresa’s daughter urged her mother to “put him first,” which seemed so generous given that Theresa is a highly-involved grandmother. The other thing that was inspiring was the (seemingly) real comraderie between the women. Even the runner-up (for lack of a better word), seemed truly happy to “celebrate love.”

So, thanks ABC. Looking back can be fun, but as Theresa said at one point, “there’s always something to look forward to.”

The golden couple

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The underrated Box of Chocolates

~ MaryG ~ 9 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What is the greatest gift someone could give you?
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I know that some people start strict diets in the New Year, but for everyone else, it’s chocolate season. Let’s face it, you’ve now eaten every last Christmas cookie in the house, so when you want something sweet, you’re going to crack open that nice box of chocolates that you (hopefully) received as a gift. (Nobody ever buys a box of fine chocolates for themselves. It’s always a gift.) When you open it on Christmas (or your birthday, or Valentine’s Day), it might not seem that exciting, but you’ll be very glad you got it later on.

As previously mentioned (many times), I have a sweet tooth. As a kid, I remember reading “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” by Roald Dahl, while nibbling on a solid chocolate heart I’d received for Valentine’s Day. Reading Dahl’s fantastical description of magical, delicious chocolate, while actual chocolate melted in my mouth, was pretty much heaven for 10-year old me.

My ideal gift box of chocolates contains no nuts as a listed ingredient (because I’m allergic to a couple kinds of tree nuts), but if the box says only “may contain trace of nuts,” that’s OK. Artisanal boxes of chocolates from local chocolatiers like Chequessett or Chocolate Moonshine are good, as are fancy gold boxes from countries like Belgium, France, or Switzerland.

The other great thing about a gift box of chocolates is that it’s yours. You may share it if you wish, but you decide who gets one and when. (It helps to hide it after opening, especially if there are children or teenagers in your house.)

Here’s the box of chocolates I opened last night–a gift from my husband–which entitled him to one chocolate of his choice. I generously gave him first pick. He had a Midnight Swirl (“full-bodied 85% cacao dark chocolate ganache covered in dark chocolate”). I then had a Dark Chocolate Ganache Heart AND a Salted Caramel Lion of Belgium (amazing). Now I have fifteen fine Belgian dark chocolates left, but who’s counting?

I love a box of chocolates that comes with a guide. This one is in French too (a good sign).
Which one would you choose next? Big decision.

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Short cuts

College: 80s edition

~ MaryG ~ 10 Comments

What colleges have you attended?

I went to just one college—Trinity College in Connecticut—four years, straight through, with one semester abroad. In many ways, it was the quintessential New England liberal arts college experience, except we were in a city (Hartford), not a rural area. Music was a big part of it. My college memories all come with a soundtrack. That’s one reason I love this blog. If you’re a GenX music lover (and who doesn’t love music?), you need to check it out. He’s a wonderful writer with a great playlist. It’s about as close to my college soundtrack as I can imagine.

Here are a couple photos from Trinity College Spring Weekend 1985. We had the Ramones and Til Tuesday on campus. Til Tuesday leader/songwriter Aimee Mann (with the platinum mohawk) had a huge hit with “Voices Carry,” so I think she was the headliner, but it looks like there was some slam dance/mosh pit energy happening during the Ramones. What could possibly go wrong? (According to classmates on Facebook, something bad did happen that day, but I have no recollection of it. I just remember a good ole time. Funny how memory can be selective like that.)

The Ramones performing at Trinity College, 1985
Men slamming to the music – stay out of the way!
Til Tuesday
Aimee Mann, a Boston musician, wrote “Voices Carry,” a song about an affair, and it was a huge hit in 1985.
The Quad
Student with his XL Boombox – very 80s

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Ginger the Giraffe

~ MaryG ~ 6 Comments

Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?

I was going to answer “no” to this prompt, but then I remembered I’ve been pretending to feed a giraffe I bought at Boston’s Snowport Holiday Market all week.

Her name is Ginger, because she is made from a ginger beer can. She’s imported from Zimbabwe. So far, my husband and son have refused to pretend she’s real.

Ginger having some basil

As previously mentioned, I have a thing for giraffes. If you haven’t seen the new film Wonka, with Timothée Chalamet, it’s worth it for the giraffe scenes alone. For GenXers, nobody can replace Gene Wilder in the role of Willy Wonka. His laissez-faire attitude toward his bratty visitors (“stop, don’t”) is priceless. But the message of the original film comes through in this latest prequel version of Willy Wonka. It’s all about “Pure Imagination,” which is liberally reprised throughout the new film.

There is no life I know

To compare with pure imagination

Living there, you’ll be free

If you truly wish to be

For me, nothing evokes pure childhood-like playtime than a good game of pretend.

Related posts: Book magic, Giraffes, The Mean(ish) Peacocks

Happy New Year

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments

What are your biggest challenges?

One challenge I have is being unproductive. I’m lazy by nature. I can sit on my sofa for hours in the morning – drinking coffee and doing things on my phone or laptop. Winter tends to exacerbate this inertia problem.

Now that I’m not working, and the holidays are over, I’m going to have to create a more productive morning routine.

I’ll get on that – tomorrow.

My husband and I had a good laugh about this painting by John Singer Sargent at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. It’s called “Nonchaloir” or Repose. Let’s just say, I could’ve been Sargent’s model for this one.

Happy 2024 to all.

I caught the last hour of GenXers Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen getting drunk on live TV. This segment, when John Mayer calls in from a cat cafe in Tokyo, is just great live television. 😂

Rachel from the parking garage

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What relationships have a positive impact on you?
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Modern wisdom would have you believe that virtually every relationship (except for an abusive one) has a positive impact on you. I’m always reading articles about the “crisis of loneliness” which is leading to “deaths of despair,” especially in men. Apparently even small, positive, daily interactions with other humans can lead to a sense of well-being. I read one article about how self checkout at pharmacies and other stores is depriving the elderly of meaningful opportunities to have face-to-face contact with human clerks and cashiers. If this is true, then extroverts have a distinct advantage. Not everyone is comfortable smiling and engaging strangers in small talk.

As I was saying goodbye to people at work in November, I realized that some of the folks I would miss the most were staff at the garage where I parked in Boston. Three Ethiopian-Americans–Yousef, DJ and Rachel–were there, night and day, helping me out for 10+ years. Parking is a total nightmare in Boston. There are not enough spaces for all the cars and being a part-timer, I never wanted to spring for a monthly spot (which are exorbitantly priced), so I always hustled around to different parking lots trying to get an open spot at a decent rate, until I found MY garage. They were always so kind to me there. They’d take my car, even if they didn’t have an all-day spot open and move it midday. They smiled, asked me how I was, and even gave me my own key to the building, so I could get in or out after hours. They gave me a break on the price and sometimes didn’t charge me at all.

In turn, I smiled and chatted with them a lot, tipped them at Christmas, and tried to help out if they asked me for any advice about American logistical things, like which towns had better schools or how to get services for a child with disabilities. Fortunately, I got to say a proper goodbye to DJ and Yousef and give them a big hug, but sadly, I didn’t see Rachel on my last day. However, about a month prior to my departure (before I knew I was leaving), Rachel said the nicest thing to me. We were chatting as I was paying and about to exit the garage and she told me that she appreciated how I spoke to her and her colleagues. She said I treated them with kindness and respect (unlike some other customers) and that I was “a good woman.” A good woman. Honestly, it brought tears to my eyes then, and still does. Hardworking Rachel, immigrant from Africa, mother of two boys that she’s putting through college on her parking garage wages is a good woman too.

My garage. I wish I had a picture of Rachel.

The Mean(ish) Peacocks

~ MaryG ~ Leave a comment
Daily writing prompt
If you started a sports team, what would the colors and mascot be?
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I’d go with violet, teal, and fuchsia.

So, maybe the mascot could be a peacock, but like, a mean one.

Image from Pinterest
OK, now I’m just using this prompt as a way to play with AI. Image by ARTA app. I told it to “make an image of a mean peacock in violet, teal, and fuchsia, 4K, digital art.”
AI giraffe in my colors
AI rainbow kitten

AIDS made me a lifelong lib

~ MaryG ~ 2 Comments

How have your political views changed over time?

I’ve gotten more liberal.

When I was young, my views were influenced by my parents and the Catholic Church. I remember defending Nancy Reagan in an editorial I wrote for a high school social studies class.

By the time I was a junior in college, I had totally changed my mind about President Reagan. Working in the arts after college, and being exposed to the AIDS activism in that community, opened my eyes further to structural inequities. The fact that the AIDS virus (HIV) was considered a “pre-existing condition” by insurance companies and could leave young, sick people without medical care was very real and horrific to me.

Reagan was so slow to even acknowledge AIDS was a disease (much less a full blown crisis), the arts community was absolutely furious and made a lot of art about it. That had a profound effect on me.

Activist art by the Keith Haring, who died of complications from AIDS in 1990 at age 31

TO READ list

~ MaryG ~ 7 Comments
Daily writing prompt
You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?
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I’ve read some nice posts from other bloggers this morning referencing famous writers. Their posts reminded me how Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own once affected me. It encouraged me to move into my own studio apartment, when I was just out of college. Living without roommates was a little scary, but somehow Woolf’s words from 1928 helped give me courage to live all by myself. I need to re-read that. I liked I.V. Greco’s post, which mentions Hemingway’s A Moveable Feast, a book I’ve been meaning to read since my friend Kathy recommended it while I was in Paris. I was never a Hemingway fan, but I’m going to give his Paris memoir a shot. Also, Rebuilding Rob wrote about Henry David Thoreau’s cabin on Walden Pond in his response to this prompt. Another book I need to read.

Now that I’m unemployed/retired, I need to read more books. Perhaps that will be my New Year’s resolution. In addition to Walden, A Moveable Feast, and A Room of One’s Own, I’ve got a lovely book of poetry waiting for me to pick it up. I can tell by the poems that she’s shared in her blog that Ever So Gently by Lauren Scott will be a treat.

Here are a few photos from my most recent trip to Walden Pond in Concord, MA. It was an unusually warm day in very late October. I wonder if Thoreau ever could’ve imagined his Walden would become such a popular, though still pristine, destination for people from around the world. Less than 20 miles from Boston, Walden is an especially popular spot for city residents who just want to get out in nature for the day. I saw several folks perched in quiet spots along the pond reading books, all by themselves. 

Back when we were tiny

~ MaryG ~ 2 Comments

What is your all time favorite automobile?

I’m not a car enthusiast, but I associate certain cars with certain events or periods in my life. For example, Honda minivans will forever remind me of my young parenting years. Those were the largest cars I ever owned.

On the other extreme, my parents owned a blue Volkswagen bug when I was very young. I have an early memory of stuffing myself into a tiny spot in the upper part of the back seat. I remember looking up at the interior ceiling. It had little dots or holes in the material and you could kind of blur your eyes and it created an optical illusion. The dots would seem closer than they actually were, like in a Magic Eye book.

I don’t have a photo of that car, but here I am, around the same time, stretching out my legs in my new red wagon. I fit perfectly!

Do you remember fitting yourself into a small space back when you were tiny?