Iād be miraculously transported to Rome, with no airports, passports or wait times involved. (Beam me up, Scotty)
Iād spend the morning shopping on the Via del Corso and then head over to Trastevere for the afternoon. I would replace the buttery-soft, knee-length black leather coat that I bought on my semester abroad (which was subsequently stolen in NYC) and also get some new black leather gloves and whatever the heck else I want (itās a fantasy, right?)
My friend Andreada and me in NYC in 1988. This is the one and only picture of my Italian black leather coat. It was so soft. It got stolen that very night from my chair in a Manhattan bar.
Iāve posted before about my double name: Mary Sue. Sue is my motherās name, so I like it. Most of us get our last names from our fathers (because patriarchy), so itās nice to get your first and/or middle name from your mother, or your motherās side of the family. We followed that tradition with our kids.
I kept my own last name when I got married (even though itās much harder than my husbandās to pronounce and spell). This couldāve caused a fight about our kidsā last name, but it didnāt, because Iām a pragmatist and a feminist. š
Sometimes I feel guilty that I read mostly fiction books. Typically, I read a couple of memoir-type nonfiction books each year (i.e. Michelle Obama, Anne Lamott, Prince Harry – couldnāt resist!), but I donāt prioritize the big, seriousnonfiction bestsellers, like The Persuaders, which I know I should read.
Still, I learn a lot from novels by great writers. (I realize this is not an amazing revelation. Readers of fiction know this already.) Great novelists do so much in-depth research that you end up learning a lot of stuff, while engrossed in the lives of fictional characters.
Yesterday, I finished āUnshelteredā by Pulitzer Prize-winning author Barbara Kingsolver. As with all Kingsolver books, I learned new things about the natural world, but I also learned a few things about Cuba in this one. Thereās an endearing character named Tig, a GenZ anti-capitalist who has returned to the US after a year in Cuba. She tells her mother about āthe yellow guyā (El Amarillo) in Cuba, which is a government-organized hitchhiking facilitation system. (The facilitators wear yellow/beige uniforms.)
Who knew? I mean, it doesnāt put Cuba on my bucket list or anything, but itās interesting that theyāve found a way to cut down on all the wasted seatsāin all the gas-guzzling vehiclesāthat are heading to the exact same destinations. American soccer moms could use a yellow guy.
Having recently been through a bunch of toxic workplace bullshit that resulted in me resigning my position a couple years earlier than originally planned, Iām not loving the question, āSo, are you retired now?ā
I mean, yeah, I guess I am. I can afford to stop working for money now. But it does feel unusual and rather lazy, when nearly every other able-bodied person my age is still working full-time.
I know, Iknow. This is a First World problem that Iām lucky to have.
If I answer unenthusiastically, āyeah, I guess so,ā sometimes I get āoh, I only ask because you look too young to be retired,ā which is 100% the correct way to recover from asking me the question in the first place. Playing to someoneās vanity, when put your foot in your mouth, can work quite well.
Selfie, March 2023
The one question that is truly non-recoverable from, if you ask the wrong woman, is: āwhen are you due?ā Just donāt. Ever.
Sometimes failure is just failure. The plays I didnāt get cast in, the rejection from my first-choice college, the math class I dropped because it was too hard, and the fellowship and jobs I didnāt get, are all examples of times I objectively failed.
People talk a lot about āgrit and resilience,ā usually in the context of blaming todayās parents for being too protective and helicopter-y. Well, failure forces you to build those qualities, even if your parents somehow messed-up.
What other choice do you have in the face of failure? You gotta keep going.
āKeep on Moving Forwardā by Emmaās Revolution is my all-time favorite protest song. I think it inspires personal fortitude, as well as strength to keep fighting for a better world.
Gonna keep on moving forward Keep on moving forward Keep on moving forward Never turning back Never turning back
Gonna keep on moving proudly Gonna keep on singing loudly Gonna keep on loving boldly Gonna reach across our borders Gonna end the occupations Gonna stop these wars together Gonna keep on moving forward
Pat Humphries and Sandy O (Emmaās Revolution)
ITāS SUPER TUESDAY in the USA. Donāt waste your right to vote.
To an obedient Catholic girl growing up in an affluent, sheltered Boston suburb, Billy Joelās 1978 hit Only the Good Die Young felt like an invitation.
Iām assuming nobody wants to hear about how dependent I am on my phone, car and TV. Iām thinking favorite gadgets might be more interesting?
Per Merriam-Webster, a gadget is āan often small mechanical or electronic device with a practical use, but often thought of as a novelty.ā
Based on that definition, my top three gadgets du jour are:
My Ember smart mug, which is pictured here. It keeps my coffee warm for a very long time. No need to nuke it* over and over again.
My Oxo citrus squeezer, which is pictured here. I bought it at Whole Foods. Itās the perfect size for juicing limes, specifically.
My Pure Enrichment tabletop humidifier. I like it because it also has a calming blue light. I bought it for $35 at CVS two years ago, kept the receipt, and the company sent me a new one this year when the original developed a slight crack. I like a company that stands behind its products.
*Nuke it means āmicrowave itā in the above context. My GenZ son thinks that my husband and I made this up and that nobody else in the whole wide world says ānuke it.ā If you would kindly let me know whether or not you say ānuke itā when you mean āput it in the microwave ovenā and (if comfortable) your approximate age and home country, I would be very grateful. (The results may be used to convince my son that I am not weird.)
For me, there was no greater growth experience than college. The college experience is like no other. The sheer number of new people and new ideas youāre exposed to in a short timeframe is bound to change even the most āset in their waysā 18-year old.
I was lucky my parents paid the bills and my college had no core requirements whatsoever, so I could take whatever classes I wantedāfrom poetry to Russian history. (Amazingly, I didnāt take a single science class.) Throw in my semester abroad, internships, guest speakers, drug experimentation, and a winter trip to the Soviet Union, and it really was a mind-expanding time for me.
Hanging out in college: my roommates Ann and Carla and other friends in our on-campus apartment in 1984 or 85. The three of us shared one bedroom, but we had a nice living room and a kitchen.
Itās sad that the liveaway college experience has become so expensive and debt-producing. Itās not fair. I think the four-year model needs to go. Three years of college is plenty, and would be significantly cheaper. āUniā – as they call it in the UK – is only three years. I mean, maybe a few select majors (like Engineering) need four years, but everyone else (Liberal Arts, Fine Arts, Business, etc.) could be done in three.
Speaking of the college experience, we went to see One Love, the Bob Marley biopic, based on DanLovesFilmās recommendation (American critics be damned) and I had fun. There are definitely some weaknesses in the script and I had a hard time understanding the Jamaican/Rastafarian accent, but the music is the music and itās great. Marley is played by Kingsley Ben-Adir and heās š„
Kingsley Ben-Adir as Bob Marley
So, GenX: I recommend you have yourself a cocktail or a weed gummy (or both) and go see One Love. Youāll have a good time jamming in your theater seat to one of our key college soundtracks.
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