GenX

A Model Philanthropist

~ MaryG ~ 12 Comments
Daily writing prompt
If you could have something named after you, what would it be?
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Naming facilities is something I know a bit about due to my career in fundraising and philanthropy. At my last job, we built a sweet, state-of-the-art, 300-seat black box theater that could’ve been named (in 2009) for a mere $3 million. Sadly, we could not find a lead donor at that level…in Boston of all places (where we have many wealthy patrons of the arts). It was a real bummer. A total fail. We blamed the recession.

More recently (in 2023), a spectacular new non-profit community music center opened up near my home in the northwestern suburbs. And when I say spectacular, I mean it. You’ve heard of Tanglewood, right? This place is like Tanglewood East. Check it out here. I don’t know how much Groton Hill Music Center cost to build, but I’m certain it was hundreds of millions of dollars with the massive parcel of land that it’s set on (part of which was formerly owned by rocker J. Geils, who died in 2017). There is no other community music school like it – anywhere.

And get this. It was all paid for (including an endowment for maintenance) by an anonymous donor who wanted NO recognition. He didn’t put his name on any of it! It was only after his recent death that the community learned the donor was Al Stone, owner of Sterilite (maker of those ubiquitous clear plastic storage bins).

Recently, I spoke to Groton Hill staff and here’s what I learned about Mr. Stone. He was a visionary philanthropist. He didn’t believe in naming things (the Susie Smith elevator, the John Doe staircase, etc). He believed that type of fundraising let donors off the hook. Once they’d given enough money to get their names on something, they tended to stop giving. Mr. Stone wanted the community to embrace the venue and keep supporting its operations, year after year, regardless of recognition. The music itself should be the reward.

At Groton Hill Music Center, all donors (from $100 to $1,000,000+) are listed on a simple, tasteful sign in the lobby. A community resource this magnificent belongs to all of us.

I was in awe the first time I went to a concert in the largest of the venues within the music center. Known simply as “The Concert Hall,” it can seat 1,000 people and hosts all types of artists—from major classical performances, to Broadway stars, to folk, pop and world music.
Meadow Hall (seats 300)
A partial view of the exterior
Groton Hill Music Center, Massachusetts
One of dozens of studios for lessons and rehearsals at Groton Hill Music Center

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Randy Rainbow

~ MaryG ~ 10 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What makes you laugh?
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Are you like me—a musical theater lover who loathes Donald J. Trump with every fiber of your being? If so, then you probably know all about Randy Rainbow already!

For the uninitiated, check him out here. (Gilbert & Sullivan)

And here. (Funny Girl)

And here. (Fiddler on the Roof)

And here. (Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy)

And my personal favorite: Seasons of Trump (from Rent)

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The Brainiacs

~ MaryG ~ 7 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What’s something most people don’t understand?
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Oh gosh, I don’t know. Physics? I certainly don’t understand physics…or…chemistry…or calculus.

Here’s to the scientists and engineers. May they use their powerful brains for good not evil.

Albert Einstein and J. Robert Oppenheimer at Princeton in 1947
(image from http://www.life.com)

“For better or worse, we’re all living in Oppenheimer’s world.” ~Cillian Murphy

OK Boomer

~ MaryG ~ 24 Comments
Daily writing prompt
How has technology changed your job?
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As a recently-retired GenX elder (born in 1965–the first official GenX year), I am going to use this prompt to tell you a couple of stories about how we did things at my first job. You will probably find these stories boring, but that’s life. Older people will tell you their stories (repeatedly), regardless of their audience’s level of interest.

In the late 1980s, we had computers on our desks but no email or internet. So, if you wanted to put something into writing for others to see, you had to type it up in a Word document and then print it out on a ridiculously slow printer. “Memos” were written up like business e-mails are today, with the date (which you had to figure out yourself—people were always putting the wrong year on their memos in January and February), a “TO” line, a “FROM” line, a “SUBJECT” line, and a “CC” line. After you wrote and printed your memo, you had to initial it and then make Xeroxes (old timers called them “mimeographs”). Then you ran around the office, leaving your memo on peoples’ desks. As you can imagine, memos were used strictly for covering your ass, because otherwise, you’d just tell your co-workers whatever you wanted them to know.

Some people (me included) spent a great deal of time chit-chatting with co-workers throughout the day. One guy I worked with “made the rounds” ALL afternoon. After lunch, he went from office to office, desk to desk, cubicle to cubicle, trading information and gossip. He knew everything about everyone, which was very valuable back then. One person that everyone knew they needed to be liked by was the boss’s assistant (we called them secretaries back then). If the boss’s secretary didn’t like you, you were fucked. I once made the HUGE mistake of taking the boss’s secretary’s gift away from her during a Yankee Swap holiday gift exchange (which was my right, per the rules of the game). It was a salad spinner and I wanted it, but so did she! It took me months to get back on her good side. The so-called “soft skills” (reading a room, communicating, putting people at ease, small talk, empathy) were very important back then. Excel spreadsheets were non-existent.

So that’s how we rolled in the late 1980s…and don’t call me Boomer.

Saying yes

~ MaryG ~ 6 Comments
Daily writing prompt
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
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I was good at saying “no” to things for many years, especially volunteer roles in my church and in the schools. I had too much going on with the kids and work. I did my part for various fundraisers and events, but I wasn’t one to get roped into running the whole thing. In fact, a woman once told me she admired my ability to say “no.” (possibly a backhanded compliment)

Now that I’m retired (there, I said it) I’m ready to say “yes” to more things, especially if it’s something fun. Kudos to my husband, who is still working, but says “yes” to quite a few of my proposals. He doesn’t agree to everything I want to do together, but I’d estimate that he says “yes” 75% of the time. For example, we went and saw ALL TEN Best Picture nominees before the Oscar broadcast. And he’s been especially good about visiting museums with me. (He likes museums too, but it’s a bit more of a sacrifice for him to make the time to go.)

On Saturday, we went to a very cool exhibit at Boston’s Museum of Fine Arts about Hallyu (Korean Wave)—the surge of popular culture from South Korea that started with K-drama and cinema in the 90s and then spread across the globe with K-pop and its massive fandoms in the mid 2000s. K-beauty and fashion has also been a huge cultural export and Korean designers’ work was on display. After that, we went to a Korean restaurant to round out the K-culture experience.

A K-pop idol’s costume at the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston
Reconstruction of a set from “Parasite,” the 2019 film directed and co-written by Bong Joon-ho. It was the first non-English language film to ever win the Academy Award for Best Picture.
The costumes from Squid Game
Fashions by South Korean designers
Korean “sticky ribs”

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Not-so-secret skills

~ MaryG ~ 25 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?
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I think the difficult word in this prompt is “secret.” I have a couple of skills that I like to brag about and/or show off, with baton twirling being the most impressive. I can also sing a very high note, when called for. For example, my choir was asked to perform “Bohemian Rhapsody” at a memorial service last year and someone had to sing that very high note (you know the one). It’s a high B-flat. Welp, I fucking nailed it. (And yes, there is a video, but the fact that it was a funeral prevents me from posting it.)

So clearly, modesty is not keeping me from sharing any other exciting skills with the world. If I could choose a new skill to secretly have, it’d probably be clairvoyance. Sometimes, I’d like to know what’s going to happen ahead of time so I wouldn’t worry so much.

Sunny Orlando

~ MaryG ~ 9 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What is your favorite type of weather?
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Sun makes all the difference, right? Cold and gray is so much worse than cold and sunny. I know one family that left Seattle (including a tenured academic position) after 10+ years, due to the infrequency of sunny days. I’ve never been to Seattle, but that does sound rough.

New England winters are LONG. It’s best to break it up with a trip south, if possible. For years, Orlando (Florida) was our top family destination for school vacation weeks. My sister-in-law lives there, so we’ve been many times. Don’t knock Orlando ‘til you’ve tried it. They’ve got something for everyone.

It wasn’t always hot when we went to Orlando in February (or even in April), but it was always sunny.

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The Choir Teachers

~ MaryG ~ 13 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Who was your most influential teacher? Why?
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That was nice when Billie Eilish thanked her choir teachers at the Oscars when she won Best Song for “What was I Made For” from Barbie.

I had great choir teachers all through junior high and high school. Ms. Glinka was 7th grade. It was 1978 and she was my first-ever “Ms.” It took some getting used to (to call a teacher MIZZ, when we’d only ever had a Miss or Missus). Ms. Glinka was a cool, modern woman who wore dangly earrings. Her main influence on me was that she loved The Beatles and taught us their music. I specifically remember singing When I’m Sixty-Four and Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da in her class. Whoever introduces you to The Beatles shall never be forgotten. Am I right? Thanks Ms. Glinka. You rocked.

8th grade was Mrs. Nolan. She was married to Mr. Nolan, who also taught at the school. Mrs. Nolan was a bit more traditional than Ms. Glinka, but also great. She liked Irish/Celtic music. She taught us All Around My Hat by Steeleye Span, which I loved singing. I still sing it to this day and attempted to teach it to my kids.

Finally, in high school, we had Mr. Phinney. He was a legend in my town. A tall, demanding, sexist, old-school choirmaster, Mr. Phinney presided over the music wing of the school with his equally-powerful counterpart—the Band Director, Mr. Toland. As a majorette (baton twirler) for the marching band, I worked with Mr. Toland as well. If they liked you, you were all set. Fortunately, they liked me, so I had a TON of fun performing in high school ensembles, musical productions, and twirling my baton with the marching band. My best friends came from those circles, two of whom are still close friends of mine.

Mr. Phinney was a bit of a tyrant, but we learned a lot about musicianship from him. I’m surprised our yearbook advisor let that “quote” be printed on his photo.

Although I did not became a professional musician, music is an important part of my life, especially singing with others.

Thank you to my public school music teachers.

High school choir yearbook photo

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Dance

~ MaryG ~ 9 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What do you wish you could do more every day?
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A wonderful gentleman from my UU church, Ron, leads a monthly Sacred Circle Dance for the community, which I recently started participating in again. (I’d done it a few times when I was working, but I didn’t make it a point to go. Now I do.)

Dancing is fun, people! I had forgotten. I wish I did it more, but at least I do it some.

Ron is a retired gay man who absolutely loves leading dance circles. He has studied it extensively and traveled to many places (including Mexico) to learn new dances and attend workshops.

Our dance circle lasts two hours and Ron incorporates both folk dances as well as more modern dances. Ron teaches us the steps before each dance. He uses recorded music and always provides context for the cultures from which the folk dances come. Last time, our dances included a Coptic Greek dance and a dance in celebration of Women’s History Month to Peter Gabriel’s Shaking the Tree.

The steps are never too hard. Mistakes are fine. It’s not about performance at all. It’s about mind-body-spirit awareness, connection, and fun.

Happy Women’s History Month

Shaking the Tree (lyrics)

Songwriters: Peter Gabriel / Youssou N’Dour

Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon
We are shakin’ the tree
Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon
We are shakin’ the tree

Waiting your time, dreaming of a better life
Waiting your time, you’re more than just a wife
You don’t have to do what your mother has done
She has done, this is your life, this new life has begun

It’s your day, a woman’s day
It’s your day, a woman’s day

Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon
We are shakin’ the tree
Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon
We are shakin’ the tree

Turning the tide, you are on the incoming wave
Turning the tide, you know you are nobody’s slave
Find your sisters or brothers who can hear all the truth in what you say
They can support you when you’re on your way

It’s your day, a woman’s day
It’s your day, a woman’s day

Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon
We are shakin’ the tree
Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon
We are shakin’ the tree

Changing your ways, changing those surrounding you
Changing your ways, more than any man can do
Open your heart, show him the anger and pain, so you heal
Maybe he’s looking for his womanly side, let him feel

You had to be so strong
And you do nothing wrong, nothing wrong at all
We’re gonna break it down
We’re gonna shake it down, shake it all around

No no no no no no
No no no no no no
No no no no no no

It’s your day, a woman’s day
It’s your day, a woman’s day
It’s your day, a woman’s day
It’s your day, a woman’s day

You had to be so strong
You do nothing wrong, nothing wrong at all
We’re gonna break it down
We’re gonna shake it down, shake it all around