I had been hoping our elected Democrats were going to do the heavy lifting for us fighting back against authoritarianism and protecting democracy (at least until the midterms). But it doesn’t seem like that’s the case.
Having watched interviews with a few Senate democrats recently, I have come to the conclusion that their planis us. It seems like they’re waiting for public outrage and mass protests to emerge so huge that they will be impossible to ignore and that this will somehow bend the trajectory of this country away from fascism.
If you didn’t get your invitation yet, here’s what’s happening April 5:
OH MY GOD, we’re literally protesting everything. My first thought is I’m tired and that sounds like a LOT. Jamming Boston Common (or DC or NYC or wherever) with thousands of other people holding all sorts of signs, with no bathrooms and no place to park, does not sound fun. Second, I’ve done mass protests before and they don’t seem to work. Third, is this type of thing still safe in America? What if Dear Leader pulls some crazyass shit—like declares “martial law”—and sends in the military? I have never been tear-gassed and I don’t want to be!
I and all of my high school and college classmates are turning 60 this year.
It’s interesting to see how people are marking the occasion. It looks like a lot of trips (and some parties), but mostly trips. People want to travel at 60, while their health is still good and the expenses of child-rearing are mostly behind them.
Today would’ve been my college friend Carla’s 60th birthday, but she didn’t make it. She died at 57 from a brain tumor. She was perfectly healthy and absolutely gorgeous, until that dumb tumor.
I wonder if she would’ve taken a special trip.
Shortly before she got sick, Carla shared this photo of her beautiful grey hair. She never colored it. It was just naturally gorgeous like her.
After many years of saying no, I agreed to serve on the Executive Team of my church for this fiscal year (summer 24-summer 25). Typically, it’s a three year term, but I’m filling the final year of a term that was vacated by a gentleman who sadly became sick and died.
I didn’t really want to do this heavy lift of a volunteer role, but I had run out of good excuses to say no. (I’m not working and my kids are grown.) Plus, I only had to commit to ONE year (not the usual three).
I gotta say…I am good at leadership. I believe I have significant skills in this area. I have received a lot of positive feedback from the congregation and other members of the Executive Team. So that’s been nice, but the long meetings and endless emailing have led me to conclude that if I’m going to do this type of work-work, I should get paid. I should seek out a role for which I’d start getting paid again for my skills. I’m too young to fully retire. I want to limit my church volunteer roles to the fun stuff (ie singing in the choir, circle dance, helping organize the jewelry booth at the country fair).
One thing I did on the Executive Team this year is project management. We got a donation to create a “memorial garden” — a contemplative outdoor space where people can go to reflect. We set a goal of March 16 to dedicate the space (in honor of the donor’s late wife’s birthday) and by George—it is happening today!
Later this morning, after the service, we will gather on the side lawn of the church to dedicate our new space and dramatically unveil the new stone monument at its center. The weather is going to be warm (for Massachusetts) and people are excited. The donor’s extended family and the artist who created the monument will be joining us.
Here’s a group of us in front of the 1.2 ton stone monument, which got installed in the nick of time on Thursday.
I have made lemon squares from scratch for the reception afterwards because it’s a Big Day. (And Big Days require something a bit more special than brownies from a box.)
I taste tested my lemon squares last night and they’re good.
I got to see Broadway legend Patti LuPone perform live in concert last night and it was inspiring.
She’s 75 (about to turn 76) and she fully commanded the stage for a full two-hour show (with a short intermission). She was accompanied only by a pianist and a very talented guitarist/violinist. Both men sang some backup vocals on a few songs.
At first I thought her voice sounded a bit weak, but as the performance went on, she won me over with her incredible ability to deliver the lyrics. The performance was called “A Life in Notes” and featured songs which were meaningful to her from throughout her life.
The crowd loved her and jumped to their feet many times. I think the single biggest cheer of the night came when she added a “HA!” after the line “They say I won’t last too long on Broadway” while performing the song On Broadway to open the second half.
She sang songs from each of her Tony-award winning roles including “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” from Evita, “Some People” from Gypsy and “The Ladies Who Lunch” from Company.
She sang several popular songs from the 50s – 80s including poignant versions of “Make You Feel My Love” and “Time after Time,” which she dedicated to her family (her husband and son) with whom she spent the long Covid lockdown (“washing hands and washing groceries”). She said that time with her family had been a gift.
She talked about being in The Third Act (of life) and how she’d been looking back on all of it, from the mundane to the extraordinary, with gratitude.
I know a lot of us are anxious for “certain people” in their 70s and 80s (👀: Congress!) to relinquish their power and let younger generations fully flower, but Patti LuPone is not one of them. Her talent, wisdom, humor and sheer stamina are inspiring. She’s a Diva in the best sense of the word. A woman who owns her talent and power and does not apologize for it. I hope she never steps aside.
Three-time Tony winner Patti LuPone performing last night. She turns 76 next month.
I’m starting to hear more stories of individual lives affected by the chaos in DC: my son’s friend (a 2024 college graduate) is losing his job at the local Air Force Base because he is a “probationary employee” (employed less than a year); my cousin’s brilliant daughter is a diplomat on maternity leave from a State Department post abroad and has no idea what will happen with her job upon her return—a job for which she is uniquely well qualified and very highly trained; a friend of a friend’s disabled daughter is losing all of her special services and programs in Connecticut; and the mother of a trans 18-year old in my church is trying to source the medications he needs from pharmacies outside the US because Trump’s anti “child mutilation” order arbitrarily states that 19 is the age at which the order does not apply.
And, like millions of other Americans, we’ve seen our healthcare costs go up and retirement investments and overall net worth go down since January 20.
I feel as if we are basically powerless to do anything about what’s happening in Washington right now, but at least we can “bear witness”— and that’s what I’m witnessing right now.
What are you witnessing in your community? Do you know anyone who has lost their job as a direct result of Dear Leader & his chainsaw-wielding Robot Man?
Honestly, sometimes I think Republicans are just mean. Can you imagine treating a person sitting right in front of you as if they don’t even exist?
Chris of A New Life After Cancer reminded me that it’s International Women’s Day (IWD), which is not typically on our radar (or our calendars) in the US.
With the resurgence of full blown patriarchy on steroids here, it’s probably a good year to remember to mark IWD!
I’ll start with Boston Mayor Michelle Wu who did a great job defending our city in front of the bullies in Congress this week. She was forced to travel to DC to testify in front of hostile MAGA legislators just 7 weeks after giving birth and many found her calm, brave strength inspiring.
Boston Mayor Michelle Wu with 7-week old Mira in Washington DC on Ash Wednesday
Thank you Mayor Wu—a strong and fearless millennial.
Before I became a grandmother, I asked a couple of people to describe how it felt to have a grandchild. I wanted to know exactly how it felt, as compared to becoming a parent. Do you love the grandchild just as much as your own children? Or is it a little bit less…like a “once removed” sort of feeling? How did you feel during labor & delivery? Do you worry about the baby’s health and safety constantly, like you did with your own children, or are you able to leave the worrying to the parents? Would you throw yourself in front of a moving train (or jump into the shark tank at the aquarium) to save a grandchild? Did you love the grandchild immediately (like a parent does) or do they need to grow on you over time?
Inquiring minds wanted to know!
To be honest, I never got a good, straightforward, detailed answer. Everyone just said things like “it’s amazing.” Some said, “it’s even better than being a parent.” My own mother said it was “exciting.” (Gee mom, that’s all you got? Not much of a description!) My sister-in-law said she “just wanted to cry.”
So, I’m going to go ahead and answer my own questions for other inquiring minds:
Do you love your grandchild just as much as your own children?
Yes. And I felt love the minute I saw the detailed ultrasound pics, with a clear little head and hands. It was primal. I wanted to cry. And the feeling of holding my child’s child for the first time was like…experiencing the greatest gift the universe has to offer. There’s no emoji for it!
Or is it a little bit less…like a “once removed” sort of feeling?
No, it’s not a once removed feeling. It’s actually doubled, because you love their parent so much too. It’s like you love each of them individually and you also love & celebrate the parent/child “couple.” I like happy pictures of my daughter and granddaughter together almost as much as cute pics of the baby alone.
How did you feel during labor & delivery?
Extremely anxious! Not going to lie—it was not fun! It may be worse when it’s your own daughter in labor.
Do you worry about the baby’s health and safety constantly, like you did with your own children, or are you able to leave the worrying to the parents?
Fortunately my granddaughter was born healthy to two responsible parents, so I do not worry about her healthy and safety constantly. But I do worry. I worry about infectious diseases and environmental toxins. I also worry about car accidents.
Would you throw yourself in front of a moving train to save a grandchild, if you had to?
Yes
Do you love the grandchild immediately (like a parent does) or do they need to grow on you over time?
For me, it was immediate.
My granddaughter is just under six months old, so that’s my report for now!
Here’s a throwback photo that my parents included in a slideshow they made me for my 50th birthday. I’m assuming my mother felt something like I do now.
![A logo for "50 Happens," [a site dedicated to Gen X women with children and grandchildren] [who embrace life's challenges with humor and resilience], [featuring a modern and uplifting design] [that embodies strength and positivity] [with an elegant and playful style] [and a harmonious blend of colors like pink, fuchsia, purple, and blue].](https://50happens.blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/img-5uorrxvwartomopcpuhjfjd0.png?w=300)
50 Happens 