Not to make light of the whole “United States is becoming a fascist nation” thing (we’re not there quite yet), but it does beg the question: What would the American Resistance look like? I mean…what would we actually wear? And could we possibly hold a candle to the best and most fashionable resistance movement ever: The French Resistance.

If you were going to sneak around behind the Nazis’ backs, you definitely needed a good trench coat. A belted one, bien sûr! And you needed boots—sturdy ones. And a messenger bag (obviously) for all the coded messages you’re transporting, and extra snacks for those poor people hiding in your attic. And the finishing touch…the pièce de résistance of your French Resistance outfit was clearly the beret.

These are the things you have time to think about when you’re no longer reading the national news.

I hope the American Resistance adopts berets. Call me when they issue the berets.