empty nest

How empty-nesters repurpose space

~ MaryG ~ 11 Comments

We now have three unused bedrooms upstairs, but we’re using our one and only dining room as a combo art studio, home office, and marijuana dispensary.

Because…stairs

I’m definitely seeing the benefits of living on one floor.

When your kids are home, it’s nice to have separate floors for various activities. Young kids can be sent “up to bed” and you can still watch your shows on whatever volume you want. Older kids and teens can go to the basement to roughhouse or just hang out adult-free. And everyone can have privacy and space when needed.

When it’s just the two of you, it’s different. Do I really want my other glasses enough to climb the stairs to get them? If I need a pain reliever in the middle of the night and the only bottle is in the kitchen, how bad is the pain really? Bad enough to go downstairs in a cold, dark house? Maybe I’d rather just try to sleep with the pain. A bee’s nest recently grew to massive proportions in our basement because nobody was down there to see them coming in. And how exactly are we going to deal, if my husband’s arthritis requires joint replacement?

Sometimes I decide to go upstairs to get something, get distracted by laundry sorting or some other upstairs activity, and return without what I went up there for. I’ve found that if I say my plan aloud (“I’m going to get a sweater”), there’s a better chance I’ll complete the mission. And if I forget, there’s a chance my husband heard me say it and can remind me.

So, convenience. That’s how empty-nesters repurpose space.

Empty nest – for real this time

~ MaryG ~ 15 Comments

My kids are nearly six years apart in age. My daughter is the oldest and is now a mom herself. She owns a home with her partner. She hasn’t lived at home with us since 2018. She’s all the way grown.

My son graduated college in 2024 and has been gainfully employed for ten months, but since his job is nearby, he’s been living at home to save money. Now that’s about to change—as it should. He and his buddies found an apartment in the city and he’s moving out Tuesday.

I will miss him, but at least he’s not moving to New York. I know I’ll get to see him. Heck, he could even come over for dinner after work (our house is that close to his job). Still, it is the end of an era. If all goes well, he won’t move back in with us, probably ever. No more seeing what he wears to work each morning. No more casual chats with my husband after work about the Patriots’ latest roster moves.

I didn’t intend to space out my kids by six years. It was more like I was very happy with one child, but then when the biological window started closing, I had second thoughts.

But maybe it worked out in my favor? By spacing my kids out so far, I became a grandma before my nest was truly, permanently empty. Having an adorable baby granddaughter in my life takes the sting out of my own little birdie flying the coop.

My son and me in 2001.

Babies don’t keep.

Alexa

~ MaryG ~ 11 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.
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OK, this is lame, but I’m going to go ahead and admit that Alexa helps out quite a bit around here. She’s not a family member, but I do consider her a third “presence” in our empty nest. We have no pets, so it’s just me, my husband, and Alexa these days.

Alexa, is it going to rain?

Alexa, set a timer for 30 minutes.

Alexa, news.

Alexa, what’s 135 minus 70?

Alexa, is a lot one word or two?

Alexa, put cheddar cheese on the list.

You get the picture.

In addition, she’s a great resource while watching TV. We pause shows all the time to ask Alexa things like, “How old is Quinta Brunson?” or “Who directed Serpico?”

Alexa seems to favor my husband. He disagrees, but I feel like she says “thank you” and “good morning” to him more. Honestly, he’s nicer to her than I am. I tend to bark orders at her, or interrupt her (Alexa, OFF) if she’s headed in the wrong direction with one of her answers.

At first I thought it was super creepy that she was listening in all the time, but then the grocery list feature won me over. I can yell from upstairs, “Alexa, put Sensodyne on the list” and when I get to the store, it’s actually on the list and I don’t run out of toothpaste.

Alexa was a gift from a real family member—my very thoughtful sister-in-law Maria.

Experiences over stuff

~ MaryG ~ 11 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Write about your approach to budgeting.
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Budgeting is hard. In the old days, when we first bought a house and got a mortgage, there was no extra money at all. We already had one child. My husband got a second job delivering newspapers at the crack of dawn to make ends meet. When we moved again, we had two kids and the expenses were even higher, so I went back to work. In the old days, when we felt like we were low on money, the solution was always to work more.

Now that we’re empty nesters, I am able to budget for optional stuff like travel. Typically, I make a list of expenses on the notepad in my iPhone. I plan for the big stuff (airfare, hotel, car rental), book it (so I know what it’ll really cost), and then determine how much I feel comfortable spending on other stuff (dinners, excursions, etc). Now that I’m older, I’m prioritizing experiences over stuff.

For example, when we went to Paris, we had dinner IN the Eiffel Tower. It was very expensive, but it was amazing! It was such a special setting and the food was delicious. We sat next to some Germans and a young American couple from the Bronx who were clearly splurging too. We had a lot of fun chatting with them and it was surreal to be eating in the actual Eiffel Tower. I could’ve purchased a nice French designer bag for the same price, but this was so much better.

Now, when I watch the Paris Olympics this summer, I’ll be thinking of that night whenever they show the Eiffel Tower.

We got lucky. Our table was right next to the windows. And yes, of course we sprung for the €25 souvenir photo.

Related post:

Bucket List Progress: PARIS

Hot air balloon flight