Election 2024

Naked Despair

~ MaryG ~ 15 Comments

I encountered a lot of naked despair, grief and anger at church today. I belong to a liberal Unitarian Universalist church outside of Boston. Many people were absolutely wrecked over the election results, including the minister.

We have many older members (I guess that includes me now at nearly 60) who have been fighting for all types of causes for decades, from the climate crisis to abortion. My church helped lead the marriage equality movement in Massachusetts. (We were the very first state in the country to legalize gay marriage in 2004–twenty years ago!) During the fight, our then minister refused to perform weddings in our beautiful historic church until same-sex marriage was legal. He really took a stand and it helped move things forward. Shortly after the law was passed, he married two longtime beloved church members—two women—in front of of the entire congregation. It was euphoric.

Anyway, I was doing OK at church, holding up pretty well, until the music director played John Lennon’s Imagine during the offertory. Oh man, hearing that just broke me (and a bunch of other people too). She was playing it beautifully on the grand piano (with no vocalist) but of course everyone in our congregation knows the words and was quietly singing along.

The dream has never felt further away. 😢

Related:

Time to Circle the Wagons

Time to Circle the Wagons

~ MaryG ~ 13 Comments

Welp, that’s that.

I am devastated, but I’m going to try to get over it quicker than in 2016. My conscience is clear. I didn’t sit on the sidelines. I did what I could to try to defeat Trump—marching, calling, writing, donating, posting, rallying, protesting, singing, voting.

For years…years…we did all that stuff.

But Trump won a second term anyway – fair and square. American voters chose a senile pervert and felon over a perfectly good female candidate (again).

It’s time to circle the wagons and focus mainly on my own family. I plan to devote my time and resources primarily to them. I have so many cute pictures of my granddaughter in my phone. If I get down, I’ll just look at them. I am too old to be angry about Trump for another four years. By the time my granddaughter gets to kindergarten, he’ll be out of office. In fact, I’m going to try not to use his name in my blog anymore.

Maybe I’ll get involved again if they try for a National Abortion Ban. Otherwise, I’m just going to huddle up here with my loved ones in Massachusetts, where we will (hopefully) be relatively safe.

Keep Calm and Carry On

~ MaryG ~ 10 Comments

It’s finally here. Election Day 2024.

And the stakes seem absolutely monumental. Not just for the United States, but for the whole world.

The best advice I’ve seen is from my former UU minister, the Reverend Fred Small. He says, “If you’re feeling anxious (or worse) about the presidential election, I recommend deep breaths, meditation, and this video released last night by the Harris campaign.”

He was right. The video makes me feel better. We’ve got some extremely competent and professional women— like Jen O’Malley Dillon and Dana Remus—running the Harris Campaign. They know what they’re doing.

Breathe.

Keep Kamala & Carry On-a-la

Deactivated

~ MaryG ~ 17 Comments

OK, I’ve deactivated my Facebook as a first step in trying not to care as much about the election. I’ve never done that before, but apparently it can be reactivated easily. I was just seeing way too many upsetting posts, particularly from feminist groups documenting the horrors that women in the Trump Abortion Ban States are enduring.

Also, I’m done reading The Washington Post. My husband reads it daily, so we won’t cancel it, but honestly, fuck Jeff Bezos. I’m so tired of these asshole white male billionaires and their outsized influence. And while I’m at it, fuck Joe Rogan too. Did you know that little shit is only 5’7”? I am taller than Joe Rogan. And of course, it goes without saying…FUCK ELON MUSK.

Aaaah, now that that’s off my chest…

Back to my efforts to not care about anything other than my own inner circle.

I have some fun things to look forward to:

-Luncheon today: I’m attending a ladies lunch this afternoon. (Actually, I think there’ll be one man there, but he’s cool.) The guests are all church friends of mine so there is absolutely no chance that any of them are Trumpers.

-Babysitting next weekend: My husband and I are going to babysit our adorable, perfect infant granddaughter for a few hours next weekend! I cannot wait to see that little angel again. I can already tell that having grandchildren is going to the absolute best part of being 60+.

-Book group meeting next week: I get to see one of my favorite groups of women. I am so fortunate to have this small group of book-loving friends with whom I can be completely open and always feel supported. (We are reading Solito by Javier Zamora this month and I need to finish it this weekend.)

Also, I had a realization that if Trump wins the election, I’m probably going to seek out a paid position (perhaps a part-time one). I’m going to need something else to focus on, other than the news and volunteering for lost causes. And I think I can still make some decent money in my field, which would mean more resources for the people I love.

Emotional roller coaster

~ MaryG ~ 12 Comments

I am not feeling good about the election today. The polls are too close.

I feel like it might be better to just expect the worse. Maybe we’re not such a great country. If we elect Trump again, it would be hard to come to any other conclusion. Maybe the country is deeply misogynistic—to the core. The fact that a second highly-qualified woman could lose to a serial sexual assaulter and convicted felon is unreal.

Maybe people really are only out for themselves.

Maybe it’s time to circle the wagons and focus only on the five other people that actually matter to me. Maybe I should put all my energy and resources into them.

Maybe the “greater good” is not real.

Maybe we’re divided for a really good reason. Maybe everyone who ever saw fit to vote for Trump should be shunned, even family members. Maybe everyone who politely demurred and never made a single public utterance against the rising tide of fascism should be forgotten. Maybe there’s not one single good thing about the other side.

Maybe I should cancel all these damn newspaper subscriptions and save the money for the six who matter.

Letters to Voters

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments

I’m mailing my last batch of letters to voters this week. It doesn’t seem like simply asking someone to vote would have a big impact, but I think it can.

I liked this message from Vote Forward:

Header with Vote Forward logo

One of our favorite parts of each year is when we receive messages from letter recipients letting us and their letter writer know that they have a plan to vote. As the messages are already rolling in, we wanted to share one we received from a letter recipient in our U.S. Voters Abroad campaign! 

I’m 37 and while I have always maintained my registration to vote, I knew it expired at the end of last year and I honestly wasn’t going to re-register to vote. I had no plan to vote this year at all. I’ve lost so much hope in watching how things in my home country are progressing that I caught the mindset of “my one vote won’t change anything.”

Then I received my first letter from one of your volunteers. There was a simple message in it about it being important for me to vote because all votes count. My husband looked up the process with me to register to vote. We both realized how silly it would be for me to not register and cast my vote. I filled out the documents, printed them, signed them and then they sat on my desk for too long waiting to be scanned.

A few weeks ago, I scanned them and sent them to Hillsborough County, FL to register myself to vote for the 2024 presidential election. I received my ballot last week. I received my new, valid, voter card yesterday. Today, I received a second letter from your organization and this time the message really captivated me.

The message in this letter was from Joseph W. and he mentioned he is 82 years old. He wrote how he feels it is so important for strong voter turn out in order to aid our country. He is right and I wish I could send him so much gratitude for changing my mindset of “my one vote won’t matter” to it “takes a village to make a change.”

My ballot will be finished and mailed off by Friday. I will not give it time to collect dust. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to all of your volunteers who take the time to write letters to those of us in other countries like myself. Thank you for reminding us that our votes still matter and count. I never knew before that this organization existed, but I am certainly glad it does!!

Our group of “Letter Writers for Democracy” at my church last weekend. We wrote over 3,000 letters for Vote Forward.

Duh!

~ MaryG ~ 10 Comments
Posted on Facebook by “Feminist News”

My first thought when I saw this post was “no shit.” Do some women actually think they have to vote how their husbands do? (And don’t even get me started on churches. Pastors should not be telling their flocks how to vote. And if they do, they should get their nonprofit tax-exempt status revoked.)

My second thought was “how sad.” So many women are stuck in power-imbalanced marriages and feel they can’t get out.

I’ve been married 31 years and my husband (thankfully) never even entertained the idea of voting for Trump, but we’ve had plenty of other fights. Two things he’s never done is physically threaten me (even though he’s much bigger and stronger than me) or try to control what I do (even though he earned much more money than I did when we were both working).

If you’re being controlled by your husband or boyfriend—either physically or mentally—you should be making your escape plan. I firmly believe that.

And did you see that interview that Kamala did with Fox News? Infuriating! Fuck Bret Baier. Fuck him right in the ass.

18 more days.

The Northern Lights

~ MaryG ~ 36 Comments

I think a lot of people in the Northeast (including me!) checked off “See the Northern Lights” from their buckets lists last night. This was especially rewarding for those of us who missed seeing them in May. Who knew our once-in-a-lifetime chance would come twice in one year?

The Northern Lights from my very own neighborhood last night around 7:15pm. I was on my way to choir practice and happened to look up.

This feels like a lot of things.

Remembrance

The lights and colors in the sky last night reminded me of my close friend from college, Carla, who died in 2022. She had brain cancer. She really wanted to see the Northern Lights before she died, but was too sick to travel, so her friends and family found a way to project them onto the ceiling in her bedroom in Santa Fe. It was beautiful.

A Sign

I know I’m not alone in feeling a lot of anxiety about the state of the country and the way it feels like we’re never going to go back to “normal” — no matter who wins the election. I’ve never in my life been afraid of a US election, but I’m afraid of this one.

Similarly, I never once saw the Northern Lights as a kid growing up in Massachusetts, but this year, many New Englanders saw them twice! A little girl standing near me last night said, “this is God.” Maybe so. Or maybe it’s a sign of transition to a new era—an era where completely new things happen.

Unknown new things are scary and I have a strong urge to “circle the wagons” and try to protect the ones I love. (I think to myself, “please stay in Massachusetts where you’ll maybe be a bit safer from gun violence, flooding, dangerous reproductive care, crappy public schools, etc.)

But I know that’s not really possible.

My new granddaughter will hopefully live into the next century. She will live out most of her life in this new era, whatever it may be. I want her to feel free, adventurous, and safe to explore the world beyond her home state.

Living in the transitional time

An activist friend of mine left for New Zealand yesterday. She’s staying until the end of the month. She said she just needed to get out of the country for these last few weeks before the election. I can relate. In some ways, it’s all just too much.

Maybe seeing the aurora borealis is the reminder some of us needed to center ourselves and live in the moment. Humans have been around a long time and have accomplished many great things and many terrible things. Even though it sometimes feels like end times are upon us, there’s a decent chance that something great is just around the corner too.

Final thought: just breathe

Related post:

Northern Lights II