boundaries

Grief

~ MaryG ~ 12 Comments

The fact of that matter is that the personal situation I’ve been alluding to is very serious emotionally.

My boundary setting over the holidays has resulted in the ending of relationships that I thought were unbreakable.

I’m grieving people who are still alive. I’m very upset. I can’t move on quickly from this. And it comes at a challenging time with my husband still struggling with pain from his surgery. It feels like people chose to kick me when I was down.

It sucks.

Internet Wisdom

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments

I’m not usually one to post internet wisdom, but given a recent event in my life, I went looking for some.

I liked this:

My blog is called “50 Happens” because I started it when I turned 50. Looking back at my posts, I see that one of my big realizations in my 50s was that all the little moments along the way are what actually matter. It’s about the journey, not the destination.

I’m lucky in that I’m not one of those women who has a hard time sticking up for herself. I can express myself, even if it leads to conflicts with others. I can be a bit righteous. I know that.

But now that I’m 60, I see clearly that time is limited. I’m truly not interested in any type of unnecessary drama. There’s too much real drama in life and in the world to contend with.

I believe I owe others:

Basic civility/politeness

Non-cruelty

Honesty about boundaries

I believe I deserve:

Happiness

Peace

Grandma

~ MaryG ~ 19 Comments

My granddaughter is perfect.

There’s no feeling like holding your first grandchild for the first time. It’s an experience of pure love. It’s a bit different than the new parent feeling of baby love, which is such a huge life-altering event. (Your life is ever after divided into two parts—before and after.)

Becoming a grandparent is just a…gift. A gift from the universe. I’m crying as I write this. I don’t love the word “blessed” because of its association with traditional Christianity, but…I mean…heck… it sure does apply here.

I’ve been searching for quotes about becoming a grandparent that resonate. I kind of like this one:

“Grandchildren are the reward for those who have labored as parents.”

But I don’t love the word “reward” in it. Children are not rewards.

Becoming a grandparent is just awesome. That’s all I can say. I know I’m very lucky too. For whatever reasons, the birthrate is way down in the US. A significant number of millennials are choosing not to have children. I’m just so fortunate that my wonderful daughter and her partner have chosen to take the parenthood plunge.

And some practical advice for new grandmothers (based on my one week of experience):

Don’t be annoying.

Be helpful.

Let the parents figure out how to feed and care for their brand new baby. Do your best to take care of the parents—with meals, cleaning, recycling boxes, and whatever else they obviously need. Some ideas have changed since we had kids, especially around bottle vs breast “nipple confusion.” Don’t assert yourself too hard with your old ideas. And don’t say any of those annoying things that all mothers have up their sleeve! Tell the parents how awesome they’re doing at life’s hardest job.

One thing you will always be 100% in agreement on is that their baby (“our” baby 😉) is the cutest baby.

I’ve mentioned before how much I enjoyed the Leanne Morgan comedy special “I’m Every Woman” on Netflix. This bit about becoming a grandma is one of my favorite parts 😂🤣😂