1980s

Dark Spain

~ MaryG ~ 10 Comments

I read this article about a woman’s harrowing coming-of-age in Franco’s Spain and it triggered memories of a trip to Madrid I took with my parents in 1984 or 85—less than a decade after the end of the authoritarian Franco regime, which had lasted 36 years.

I cannot find a SINGLE photo from that trip, but I know it really happened. (Someday, if I find photos in my parents’ house, I will add them to this post.)

Here’s what I remember:

My father was in the process of selling his small company to a British company and had to go to London on business, so he took my mother and me with him. This was my first trip to Europe, so they wanted to visit one other city while we were over there and they randomly chose post-Franco Madrid. (For some reason, my sister did not come. She stayed home with the family dog who fell into the foundation of an unbuilt house and died while we were away.)

Of London, I remember only some heinously spicy Indian food, other bad food, and cream being poured on everything.

Here’s my very hazy memory of Madrid.

It was dark and dirty. We ate extremely late in the evening in smoke-filled restaurants. My parents spoke no Spanish, but still rented a car and drove up a one-way street the wrong way. A cop pulled us over and somehow it was communicated that he would take cash in lieu of giving my father a ticket.

We went to The Prado Museum and I looked at lots of dark paintings.

“David With The Head of Goliath” by Caravaggio (c1600) has been in The Prado forever. I feel like I remember seeing it there. So gruesome.

We visited Toledo, which is outside of Madrid, and I got a piece of their signature jewelry, which is also dark. They make it with black steel. I no longer have the piece, but it looked something like this.

And that’s it. That’s all I remember. The lack of photos doesn’t help.

Back to the BBC article about that poor young woman whose parents turned her over to the authorities and suffered the cruelest treatment imaginable during the Franco regime. I can’t imagine how she (or her daughter) carried on any type of relationship with her ultra conservative Catholic parents after that. The gall of that 90-year old grandfather saying “we suffered a lot too” is outrageous. I noticed the word “forgiveness” is not used.

Thursday will mark 50 years since Franco’s death. Spain has since seen a revolution in women’s rights – but survivors of the Patronato are still waiting for answers and are now demanding an inquiry.

My 80s friend

~ MaryG ~ 11 Comments

At Christmas dinner yesterday, my father told me he had run into my old friend Debbie at the fish market. They recognized each other and exchanged some quick pleasantries.

Debbie and I were neighborhood friends who ended up becoming close friends for many years. She knew my parents well and I knew her family too. Her dad was a great guy. We took several trips to California and Florida in our late teens and twenties. We did a fair number of edgy things together including lots of underage drinking, shoplifting, dine-n-dashing, and at least one crazy 80s Spring Break trip to Fort Lauderdale. (Wet t-shirt contest anyone?) Debbie was 18 months older than me (a year ahead of me in high school) and liked to party and dance. I’m sure my first nightclub experience was with her. Even though she was a true redhead, she loved the sun like I did and we went to the beach as often as possible. We went skiing a few times too and once spun out in my mother’s car driving in a snowstorm. We did a 180 and hit the guardrail. (Debbie was driving at the time and we were fine.) In fact, we wanted to carry on with our ski trip with one headlight dangling, but when we called my parents from a gas station, they made us come home.

Debbie and I stayed friends for many years through a variety of life experiences including her being severely burned in a freak accident. (I remember visiting her in Shriner’s Burn Center where I saw the most horrifically scarred young children.) We knew each other’s deepest, darkest secrets. We attended each other’s weddings and then drifted apart as we became mothers and got busy raising kids. Still, we sent Christmas cards and occasionally saw each other in person.

Then, at some point during the second Obama administration her right-leaning political posts on Facebook caused a tiff between us. We unfriended each other and that was that. Some years later, I felt badly about it, but figured she had probably morphed into a Trump supporter, so what would be the purpose of reaching out. We were too different by then.

You know that expression about some friends being for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime? Well, at one point I might’ve thought we’d be friends for a lifetime, but it turns out we were friends for a season. And our season was the 1980s. Big time.

Christmas 1989 (towards the end of our close friendship)

If I had to pick one song that tends to trigger a Debbie memory, it would be Kool & the Gang’s Celebration. I picture us dancing around in front of a mirror, sipping some alcohol, while we made our hair as big & fluffy as possible for whatever came next.

Blogging challenge

A logo for "50 Happens," [a site dedicated to Gen X women with children and grandchildren] [who embrace life's challenges with humor and resilience], [featuring a modern and uplifting design] [that embodies strength and positivity] [with an elegant and playful style] [and a harmonious blend of colors like pink, fuchsia, purple, and blue].
~ MaryG ~ 13 Comments

Thank you Stephanie for nominating me to participate in this fun blogging challenge.

How did you come up with your blog name? 

I turned 50 (as one does, if one is fortunate) and felt the urge to do something new, like start a blog. Fifty just sort of “happens” — it sneaks up on you and seems a bit more dramatic than either 30 or 40. Whereas there’s a good chance you’ll live to 60 or 80, there’s only a very slim chance (0.0173%) that you’ll live to 100. You can be pretty sure your life is more than half over at 50.

If your blog was a person (fiction or real), who would it be?

Hmmm…this one is hard. I’m obviously no Anne Lamott, but if she had a blog, I have no doubt I’d read every post.

What helps you create new content if you feel like you need some inspiration?

I like a writing prompt like this one (thanks Stephanie) or the WP Daily Prompt.

Do you have a specific style of blogging?

Gosh, I don’t know. Let’s ask ChatGPT.

“Her writing style is confessional, characterized by personal reflections and candid expressions of her thoughts and feelings. She discusses topics ranging from family traditions, such as holiday baking, to her reactions to current events, often conveying a sense of humor and resilience. This confessional style is popular among bloggers, as it allows for a personal connection with readers through the sharing of intimate experiences and emotions.”

Is there anyone you would like to collaborate with?

I do love 80s memories, music, and trivia. Maybe a bunch of GenX bloggers could all tackle a shared topic like “where were you when…(the Space Shuttle Challenger blew up)” or something like that.

Is there anything more you wish you had or would like to learn as a blogger?

Honestly, no. I like my blog, I love my regular readers (I like reading their blogs too) and I really have no desire to write fiction or get published.

I would appreciate it if WordPress would come up with some new Daily Prompts. After responding to them for a full year, it says I’ve already “answered” each one daily and doesn’t offer a new one.

My nominees:

S.J. Asher

Anyone else who wants to join in the fun!