What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?
Having spent my whole career in fundraising, I used to think it would be fun to work on the other side – giving the money away, rather than seeking it. I remember I applied for a fellowship to work at the National Endowment for Arts in Washington, DC, when I was in my twenties. (I didn’t get it.)
I’ve met all kinds of “philanthropists” through my work over the years – from extremely wealthy individuals (think Maya Rudolph in “Loot”) to highly-educated subject matter experts at large private legacy foundations like Hearst and Ford.
I think I’m past the point where I’d want to switch careers to work for a government agency or a large private foundation, but if someone needed my help giving away a couple million a year, I’d be down.
I am not a great cook, but I am in possession of several good and reliable recipes that I make a lot and sometimes get asked to make. These include my swiss & mushroom quiche, my carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, and my blueberry muffins. Even with those, I will use short cuts like pre-made pie crusts. Let’s face it, those Pillsbury refrigerated pie crusts (in the long red box) are really good!
Speaking of short cuts, I have discovered what I think is the single best cake mix in the world. I had read about it somewhere and put it on my grocery list, where it stayed for many months annoying my husband. He kept wanting to cross it off, but I would not let him. I had heard it was really good and wanted to try it. I asked the staff at Trader Joe’s about it and they said it was “seasonal,” but the season never seemed to arrive. Was it a holiday item? A summer item?
Finally, one day, there it was on the shelf: Trader Joe’s Meyer Lemon Cake Mix with Lemon Icing. There were two boxes left. I bought both. It did not disappoint. If you like lemon cake, you really need to try this. It smells so lemony and is so moist and delicous. It’s both very easy to make and very “special” looking when it’s done and glazed. It’s good for company or family, breakfast or dessert, summer or Christmas. Be sure to use an 8 x 4 loaf pan, like it says on the box. My only additional recommendation would be to lightly flour the pan, after you grease it, to be sure the cake comes out easily. After it’s on your cake plate and completely cooled, drizzle on the lemon glaze. Trader’s Joe’s also makes a “Blood Orange Cake Mix with Icing,” which I’ve tried. It’s also very good, but not quite as good as the Meyer Lemon. So, don’t pass this up if you see it on the shelf at TJs. It may not be “in season” again for a very long time.
This prompt sent me thinking back on many events — some happy, some sad — but the earliest memory I have of a major historical event is the Bicentennial. Yes, I’m THAT old.
I grew up in the birthplace of the American Revolution. I could ride my bike to both the Lexington Green and the center of Concord, Massachusetts. My hometown, Bedford, was best known for having the nation’s oldest battle flag. As you can imagine, the Bicentennial was a huge deal for us.
President Ford visited the area for Patriot’s Day in April 1975 to kick-off the nation’s big birthday year. (Patriot’s Day is a special Massachusetts holiday where we celebrate the beginning of the American Revolution: “the shot heard round the world”) I went to see President Ford speak in Concord at the Old North Bridge. I was nine. I mainly remember my oufit. My mother made full colonial dresses with aprons and hats for my sister and me. She actually made us two hats each — a bonnet (in the picure) and a white colonial Martha Washington hat. We wore those outfits a lot that year. (Parades, parades, and more parades!) I vaguely remember seeing President Ford at the Old North Bridge, but the secret service frogmen in the water under the bridge made a bigger impression. The idea that the President needed intense, 24-hour protection was new to me.
The funny thing is that last year I took a visiting friend to The Old Manse in Concord and the tour guide told us about a whole different side of that same day. Apparently there were thousands of teenagers (including her) and some well-known musicians camped out near the bridge. They were supposedly protesting Ford’s visit to Concord (he had pardoned Nixon the year before), but she said it turned into a wild, debauched party, with fantastic music. She made it sound like a mini-Woodstock! It was weird because I didn’t remember hearing about any of that, but I did find a story about it in The New York Times. Somebody needs to make a documentary about what really went on in Concord that day.
President Ford at the Bicentennial Commemoration, Old North Bridge, April 1975
“Across the Concord River were 20,000 youthful demonstrators, bleary-eyed from a night of listening to radical speeches and songs, partying and drinking beer, sleeping in the rain, many waving the yellow flag of the early Revolutionary period emblazoned with a coiled rattlesnake and the motto, “Don’t Tread on Me.”Me in my Bicentennial costume, made by my mom
What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?
I’ve enjoyed my job for many years. I’ve gone from contractor, to part-time employee, to full-time employee with the same organization over the past 18 years.
The organization went through a rocky merger with a larger one in 2017 and it’s just never been as fun as it was in the old days. The money and benefits are better, but I don’t like the person I ended up having to report to. And there are other problems.
So, the biggest risk I’d like to take, but haven’t been able to (yet), would be to give my notice. The risk is less about the income, and more about the void. What am I going to do with all that time and mental energy? What do healthy retired people in their 60s actually do all day?
Without a doubt, the thing I’m most proud of is my family.
Even though getting married and having kids seems traditional, even conservative in some ways, it’s actually a crazy risk. Who the heck knows how it’ll all work out? You hope for the best when you choose a partner, knowing full well that nearly half of marriages fail. Then, once a baby arrives, you become the second most important in your own life. There’s not one single thing you would not do to protect your child. As Hillary Clinton said, “having a child is like deciding to let your heart forever walk around outside your body.” There is no love stronger, or more terrifying.
I know I’ve had it easier than many, but my generation has dealt with A LOT. It is completely understandable that many GenXers did not choose to go the marriage and children route. From the AIDS epidemic just as we were starting our biggest “hooking up” years (AIDS first made the cover of TIME magazine when I was a senior in high school), to President Reagan massively cutting federal aid for higher education (my two best friends had to drop out of their private colleges after freshman year), to the “Black Monday” stock market crash in 1987 (the year I graduated college), there were some pretty negative external forces at play.
The other thing that GenX has seen a lot of is addiction – both alcoholism and drug abuse. I know Baby Boomers smoked plenty of weed, but GenX had a lot more access to harder and more addictive drugs. If you’re in your fifties and you don’t know someone who overdosed and/or went to rehab, you’re lucky.
That is all to say, things weren’t always easy, but I’m so glad I took that leap of faith and got married and had two awesome children! I miss them terribly, but it’s only because we did such a damn good job raising them that they are out in the world living independently. “Adulting” is no easy task and I’m so proud of both of them for doing it so well.
I have been working on improving my understanding of world geography. With all these wars, and constant references to countries like Qatar and Belarus in the news, I wanted to be able to find them all on a map. I mean, I could point to Ukraine and Israel, but not necessarily Jordan, Yemen, or Moldova. I started with Asia and Europe, but I’m also working on Africa, South America, Oceania, and North America. North America is not as easy as you think! All those islands in the Caribbean are different countries. Can you find Barbados on a map?
I’ve tried a couple different apps, but I think I like Map-Quiz the best. It doesn’t make you set up an account and there are no ads! Unfortunately, it seems that it’s only available for iPhone. I’m competitive and wanted to see if I could beat my husband at it, but he can’t find the app in his App Store.
What’s something most people don’t know about you?
Some people don’t know that I went to very great lengths to get a solid fake ID before I turned 21. I had a friend who was two years older and lived in Florida. I memorized all her important information and went into a Florida RMV and pretended I was her and had lost my license. I managed to walk out of there with an actual Florida drivers license that had her name and birthdate, but my photo. I guess I wanted to go to nightclubs REALLY badly, because I’m sure that was a crime.
That same friend and I got up to some other stuff that I’m not proud of—shoplifting, dine-n-dash, and lots of underage drinking.
We never got in trouble for any of it. That’s white privilege for you. Also, in the 80s, there was no internet and few security cameras. You could look like Molly Ringwald, but act like Judd Nelson, quite easily.
Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?
Hmmmm….not sure what to say about today’s prompt.
I just saw the most depressing picture of men carrying child-sized body bags in Gaza. Combined with last week’s horrific photos of dead babies in Israel, and the endless pics of carnage in Ukraine, I feel lucky just to be safe in my house with the lights on.
The first person that comes to mind when I think of the word “successful” is Ketanji Brown Jackson. I think I most admire people who are very smart and accomplished by typical standards (valedictorians, Ivy League graduates, etc.), but who choose careers not entirely based on financial remuneration. Accomplished judges, scientists, writers…they impress me. They have so much power and influence and can push humanity forward. I think we really want our “best and brightest” in those kinds of jobs.
Now, if Ketanji Brown Jackson had used her brilliant mind, work ethic, and Harvard education to go into something like, I don’t know–investment banking–I wouldn’t blame her, but I also wouldn’t admire her so.
There’s a difference between a good neighbor and a close neighbor. I grew up in a close neighborhood where the kids played together and the adults were friends. The adults organized a big Labor Day picnic every year that was tons of fun. For many years, the kids held a “carnival for muscular dystrophy,” which was a bunch of silly games and performances (think magic shows and baton twirling) in which we attempted to raise a few dollars for Jerry’s Kids.
Our nextdoor neighbors were a big part of our lives. We didn’t hesitate to go nextdoor and ask for a cup of sugar (and vice versa), if we discovered we were out midway through baking some cookies.
As an adult, I lived in one neighborhood that might have passed the sugar test. For a few years, there was a critical mass of moms who were home during the day and we hung out. I could’ve asked one of them for a cup of sugar, if I needed it.
After that, we moved to a bigger house in a different town – a subdivision. Here we have two acre lots and beautiful lawns. The lawns are a big deal. We did have a little outdoor neighbordhood gathering last weekend, but it’s not the same as the old days. The one neighbor I had here that would’ve passed the sugar test got divorced and moved to a condo downtown. (I still see her, but she’s not technically a neighbor anymore.)
These days the Number One quality of a good neighbor is that they’re quiet. If they don’t mow their lawns at 8pm or use a dreaded leafblower for hours on Saturday morning, I’m good. The noise of children is an exception. I love hearing kids play. We currently have no annoying dogs nearby, but we do have a problem. A big one. Some people moved in next door and built a chicken coop, which is not unusual, but then they did the one thing that cannot be overlooked or forgiven – they got a rooster.
Here’s the culprit with his girlfriends. He rises before 6 and squawks ALL day.
![A logo for "50 Happens," [a site dedicated to Gen X women with children and grandchildren] [who embrace life's challenges with humor and resilience], [featuring a modern and uplifting design] [that embodies strength and positivity] [with an elegant and playful style] [and a harmonious blend of colors like pink, fuchsia, purple, and blue].](https://50happens.blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/img-5uorrxvwartomopcpuhjfjd0.png?w=300)
50 Happens 