White Lotus Finale

~ MaryG ~ 3 Comments

OK, I have now watched the Season 3 White Lotus finale and am ready to discuss! (I managed to avoid all spoilers yesterday—except for one: I knew there were going to be multiple deaths, thanks to a headline in the NYT.)

In my opinion, it was a very good ending with one truly excellent scene. When the three childhood friends (three women over forty) finally share deeply and openly, Carrie Coons’ monologue brought me to tears:

I’ve been most intrigued by this trio the entire season. Although we’re nothing like these three (other than being white and over 40), my two high school besties and I go on vacation together about once every ten years (usually for a milestone birthday). We live in different cities and usually meet up in a fourth city that we all want to see. We did Chicago when we turned 40, New Orleans when we turned 50, and were planning to go to Montreal for our 60th.

Even though we’re not in each other’s lives on a super regular basis, I get a deep feeling of love and fulfillment whenever I am with them. Our lives have taken different paths, but we started in the exact same place at the exact same time. It’s like Laurie (Carrie Coons) said:

“But I had this epiphany today: I don’t need religion or God to give my life meaning, because time gives it meaning. We started this life together. I mean, we’re going through it apart, but we’re still together. And I look at you guys and it feels meaningful and I can’t explain it, but even when we’re just sitting around the pool talking about whatever and name shit, it still feels very fucking deep. I am glad you have a beautiful face and I’m glad that you have a beautiful life. I am just happy to be at the table.”

When you have friends you’ve known since junior high—nearly 50 years for me—there’s a bit of God in that. Women know this.

Related:

I Hate Funeral Homes

GenX Mom Not Calm

White Lotus Avoidance Day

~ MaryG ~ 1 Comment

My husband and I are major consumers of “prestige TV.” We get all the channels and watch all the shows. (Severance, Succession, Hacks, The Last of Us, The Bear, Handmaids Tale, etc.) We watch together and we talk about the shows. TV is our thing.

Sometimes a show is too violent for me, so I relinquish it to my husband to watch while I’m at choir or doing something else. (For example, I bailed on The Sopranos fairly early on and I never watched Breaking Bad.) I always have a few shows I’m watching on my own, because I stay up later than him. Currently, I’m watching Marie Antoinette on PBS Passport on my own. Downton Abbey is another example of a show that my husband didn’t watch with me, though he fully embraced The Gilded Age, so it’s not that he won’t watch period pieces. (We’re big fans of Wolf Hall.)

We plan our TV watching out in advance. Sometimes, a very important show—like last night’s White Lotus season 3 finale—needs to be watched live (rather than on demand) in order to avoid spoilers, which will undoubtedly be everywhere today!

We fully intended to watch the White Lotus season finale live last night, but then my husband got tired and wanted to save it. Obviously I wouldn’t watch it without him, so now I will spend the entire day trying not to read anything about it, which basically will require staying offline altogether.

So, as the stock market crashes (I’m assuming another Black Monday is underway) and people are distracting themselves by discussing whatever happened on White Lotus last night, I will try to finish reading my library book today.

Ironically, the book is Intermezzo by Sally Rooney (author of Normal People) and I could totally see it getting made into a Hulu series (like Normal People did) that I would end up watching on my own because my husband doesn’t like shows that are too “relationshipy.”

Comments closed due to abject fear of White Lotus spoilers.

Related: Consider the Source

Image from Pexels

Empty nest – for real this time

~ MaryG ~ 15 Comments

My kids are nearly six years apart in age. My daughter is the oldest and is now a mom herself. She owns a home with her partner. She hasn’t lived at home with us since 2018. She’s all the way grown.

My son graduated college in 2024 and has been gainfully employed for ten months, but since his job is nearby, he’s been living at home to save money. Now that’s about to change—as it should. He and his buddies found an apartment in the city and he’s moving out Tuesday.

I will miss him, but at least he’s not moving to New York. I know I’ll get to see him. Heck, he could even come over for dinner after work (our house is that close to his job). Still, it is the end of an era. If all goes well, he won’t move back in with us, probably ever. No more seeing what he wears to work each morning. No more casual chats with my husband after work about the Patriots’ latest roster moves.

I didn’t intend to space out my kids by six years. It was more like I was very happy with one child, but then when the biological window started closing, I had second thoughts.

But maybe it worked out in my favor? By spacing my kids out so far, I became a grandma before my nest was truly, permanently empty. Having an adorable baby granddaughter in my life takes the sting out of my own little birdie flying the coop.

My son and me in 2001.

Babies don’t keep.

Come ON ladies

~ MaryG ~ 6 Comments

Occasionally women embarrass me by doing things that seem to play into stereotypes about us. The gold digger, the gossip, the busybody, etc.

Typically I expect better of women than men, especially ones that have been around for six decades or more. They should know what truly matters in life by our age. They should be using their outgoing personalities and superior verbal skills to bring people together, rather than bickering about nonsense.

In my role as an Executive Team member of my church (thankfully ending soon!), I have been unwillingly cc’d on waaaay too many emails this year.

One recent exchange:

Woman 1:

“overkill”

Woman 2:

“rude” “rash” “confrontational” “provocative”

Woman 1:

“Rants” “put downs” “micromanager”

Result:

Awkwardness for the EIGHT people cc’d on the conversation

Relationship effectively ended between the two women

Good GAWD ladies!

This is not how email should be used!

And if I told you what they were arguing about, you would die about how stupid and minor it is.

Honestly, it reminds me of my role as Mrs. Squires in my high school’s production of The Music Man. Here’s a professional version of our big number when all the self-important hens in the town get together to gossip and complain (aka “pick a little, talk a little”):

🤣

And just for fun, here’s me on stage in my high school’s 1983 production of The Music Man:

I’m on the left in the red dress.

Pick-a-little, Talk-a-little

CHEEP

🐓

Baked Oatmeal

~ MaryG ~ 13 Comments

As I’ve mentioned many times before on this blog, I like sweets, especially baked goods! (When I was pregnant many years ago, I had what seemed like hours-long “bakery dreams” about pies, cookies, Congo bars, etc.) In recent years, I have become a big fan of the blog: Sally’s Baking Addiction. Virtually all of her cookie, bar, and muffin recipes come out perfectly. I also subscribe to her free newsletter, which recently highlighted some healthier options.

Her “One Bowl Baked Oatmeal” caught my eye, so I gave it a try this week. It’s really good—and so easy. These oatmeal bars are delicious hot or cold. Nonfat vanilla yogurt makes an excellent healthy topping (but vanilla ice cream works too).

As the recipe suggested, I used real maple syrup (thank you, Vermont). I also chose to use applesauce (rather than the mashed banana option) and no nuts, because I am allergic.

11 ingredients mixed together in one bowl and poured into an 11×7 sprayed baking dish
Sally’s suggested cooking time of 35 minutes at 350 degrees was perfect
Yummy — and healthy

Ireland planning 🇮🇪

~ MaryG ~ 19 Comments

As I prepare to turn sixty in 77 days, I am working on my Bucket List (things I want to do and places I want to see before I “kick the bucket”). I’ve always been one to keep a “to do” list (I like getting stuff done), but this one is fun. I started it shortly after my dear friend Carla unexpectedly got sick and passed away in 2022 at age 57.

I try to really think about places and experiences that call to me, not just rack up instagrammable, exotic locations. I have reasons for wanting to see these places. For the bigger trips, I try to keep the budget to $10,000 (or less) for the two of us for a full week. I know that’s a lot of money for a lot of folks, but believe me, I know people that spend a whole hell of a lot more than that on their luxury vacations. I would say we are “budget conscious” travelers, but I will splurge on special experiences like dinner in the Eiffel Tower or a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon.

Here’s where my Bucket List stands now:

Grand Canyon ✅ (June 2023)

Paris ✅ (December 2023)

Finger Lakes & Hot Air Ballooning ✅ (May 2024)

Tanglewood ✅ (August 2024)

Yellowstone National Park ✅ (September 2024)

Northern Lights ✅ This wasn’t a planned trip, I just got lucky! (October 2024)

Key West ✅ (February 2025)

NEXT UP: Ireland ☘️

Is there any other foreign country that looms quite so large in the American psyche? I don’t think so!

Like millions of other Americans, I am a descendant of poor Irish immigrants. My great grandmother Mary Barry was from Dublin.

My mother’s father’s mother, Mary Barry, with six of her children, including my maternal grandfather Henry (far right). She was born in Dublin, Ireland in 1880 and died in Queens, NY in 1952. She immigrated to America, through Ellis Island, in 1903. She was 23 years old and arrived with three US dollars to her name.

This trip to Ireland will mark my first group tour experience. We’ve never been on a weeklong tour before. I usually book the hotels and do all the planning myself, but since it’s my birthday, I wanted to give myself a break and have someone else do the planning.

I looked at many types of tours (including on bikes and boats), but ultimately decided to try a Rick Steves tour. Good old Rick—PBS super nerd! I love his guidebooks and his travel philosophy in general. Plus, he is a well known weed-smoking liberal, so the chances of having any Trumpers in our group are slim.

So now, I need to start reading more about Ireland. I’ve already watched many of the recent TV shows and movies set there, including the excellent miniseries about The Troubles—Say Nothing.

Our tour is in the Republic of Ireland only, but I’m contemplating taking a trip up to Belfast (Northern Ireland, UK) at the end of the trip. We will be staying a few extra days in Dublin, where our son will join us, so I need to make some plans for that time.

Please send your Dublin recommendations and any advice you might have about planning a day trip to Belfast.

Also, books! What should I read to help truly understand the heart of this country and its people, from whom so many of us Americans descend?

I’m open to the classics, as well as modern fiction, historical fiction and nonfiction.

TYIA

☘️ 🇮🇪

Related posts:

Greetings from Ireland

More Ireland

I’m a Dubliner

Last Stop in Ireland

Food and Signs in Ireland

Thursday Doors—Dublin Unitarian Church

Apathy vs Anger

~ MaryG ~ 13 Comments

Do you ever wonder what regular old middle class Germans chatted about in say…1935? Did they mostly carry on as if everything was basically OK? Did they politely avoid talking about “politics” in social situations?

It’s definitely getting harder to continue having light, casual conversations with people who are completely unperturbed by what’s happening in our country right now. (You know, those folks who can somehow just ignore an American President who flouts our laws, attacks journalists, outlaws all diversity initiatives, and wants to annex Canada.)

On the other hand, I’m not (yet) up for joining “The Fight” to save our country, which so many of my liberal friends have already embraced wholeheartedly. It all failed so miserably in 2024, I feel like they’re missing something.

I really do wonder about Germany.

Happy-looking members of the “League of German Girls” in 1935 (source: Wikipedia). I wonder what they were hearing at home from their parents.

Mass protests (sigh)

~ MaryG ~ 10 Comments

OK, I think I get it now.

I had been hoping our elected Democrats were going to do the heavy lifting for us fighting back against authoritarianism and protecting democracy (at least until the midterms). But it doesn’t seem like that’s the case.

Having watched interviews with a few Senate democrats recently, I have come to the conclusion that their plan is us. It seems like they’re waiting for public outrage and mass protests to emerge so huge that they will be impossible to ignore and that this will somehow bend the trajectory of this country away from fascism.

If you didn’t get your invitation yet, here’s what’s happening April 5:

OH MY GOD, we’re literally protesting everything. My first thought is I’m tired and that sounds like a LOT. Jamming Boston Common (or DC or NYC or wherever) with thousands of other people holding all sorts of signs, with no bathrooms and no place to park, does not sound fun. Second, I’ve done mass protests before and they don’t seem to work. Third, is this type of thing still safe in America? What if Dear Leader pulls some crazyass shit—like declares “martial law”—and sends in the military? I have never been tear-gassed and I don’t want to be!

Sigh…

What to do? It’s a real dilemma for me.

Birthdays not a given

~ MaryG ~ 12 Comments

I and all of my high school and college classmates are turning 60 this year.

It’s interesting to see how people are marking the occasion. It looks like a lot of trips (and some parties), but mostly trips. People want to travel at 60, while their health is still good and the expenses of child-rearing are mostly behind them.

Today would’ve been my college friend Carla’s 60th birthday, but she didn’t make it. She died at 57 from a brain tumor. She was perfectly healthy and absolutely gorgeous, until that dumb tumor.

I wonder if she would’ve taken a special trip.

Shortly before she got sick, Carla shared this photo of her beautiful grey hair. She never colored it. It was just naturally gorgeous like her.