I don’t know if this is just a New England thing or what, but people do not look well to me. It’s been a looooong winter here in New England (currently 42 degrees with light snow in Nashua, NH), but it’s like this every year. We know this. March is a winter month and it’s foolish to expect anything else, even with global warming. You can easily get snow on Easter Sunday. Hell, I’ve seen snow on Mother’s Day.
But this is different. A lot of people look miserable to me. An older woman with a walker was my cashier at Marshall’s yesterday. At age 65+, she has a job that requires her to stand up—for hours. Can she not retire? Is she one of the millions of Americans whose retirement plan is “work til I die.”
I have no idea of the political affiliation of strangers, so maybe this has nothing to do with the erosion of democracy or ascendent authoritarianism, but it does remind me a bit of my trip to the Soviet Union in 1987. Nobody smiled there. Everyone looked…grey (for lack of a better word). If they did smile, you could see that their teeth were horrible. They did not have American smiles.
I have done a fair bit of traveling and I can tell you that we tend be the warmest smilers in the world. And as a rule, we have fantastic teeth. (Maybe it was the fluoride and all the other public health initiatives we benefited from as kids.) But I’m seeing far fewer smiles lately. And more people are missing teeth.
An older woman sitting in a museum in Suzdal (Russia/USSR) in 1987 – “smiling” without showing her teeth
A couple struggling their way through a Nashua mall today in search of a free wheelchair for her to use
My husband and I are major consumers of “prestige TV.” We get all the channels and watch all the shows. (Severance, Succession, Hacks, The Last of Us, The Bear, Handmaids Tale, etc.) We watch together and we talk about the shows. TV is our thing.
Sometimes a show is too violent for me, so I relinquish it to my husband to watch while I’m at choir or doing something else. (For example, I bailed on The Sopranos fairly early on and I never watched Breaking Bad.) I always have a few shows I’m watching on my own, because I stay up later than him. Currently, I’m watching Marie Antoinette on PBS Passport on my own. Downton Abbey is another example of a show that my husband didn’t watch with me, though he fully embraced The Gilded Age, so it’s not that he won’t watch period pieces. (We’re big fans of Wolf Hall.)
We plan our TV watching out in advance. Sometimes, a very important show—like last night’s White Lotus season 3 finale—needs to be watched live (rather than on demand) in order to avoid spoilers, which will undoubtedly be everywhere today!
We fully intended to watch the White Lotus season finale live last night, but then my husband got tired and wanted to save it. Obviously I wouldn’t watch it without him, so now I will spend the entire day trying not to read anything about it, which basically will require staying offline altogether.
So, as the stock market crashes (I’m assuming another Black Monday is underway) and people are distracting themselves by discussing whatever happened on White Lotus last night, I will try to finish reading my library book today.
Ironically, the book is Intermezzo by Sally Rooney (author of Normal People) and I could totally see it getting made into a Hulu series (like Normal People did) that I would end up watching on my own because my husband doesn’t like shows that are too “relationshipy.”
Comments closed due to abject fear of White Lotus spoilers.
As I prepare to turn sixty in 77 days, I am working on my Bucket List (things I want to do and places I want to see before I “kick the bucket”). I’ve always been one to keep a “to do” list (I like getting stuff done), but this one is fun. I started it shortly after my dear friend Carla unexpectedly got sick and passed away in 2022 at age 57.
I try to really think about places and experiences that call to me, not just rack up instagrammable, exotic locations. I have reasons for wanting to see these places. For the bigger trips, I try to keep the budget to $10,000 (or less) for the two of us for a full week. I know that’s a lot of money for a lot of folks, but believe me, I know people that spend a whole hell of a lot more than that on their luxury vacations. I would say we are “budget conscious” travelers, but I will splurge on special experiences like dinner in the Eiffel Tower or a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon.
Is there any other foreign country that looms quite so large in the American psyche? I don’t think so!
Like millions of other Americans, I am a descendant of poor Irish immigrants. My great grandmother Mary Barry was from Dublin.
My mother’s father’s mother, Mary Barry, with six of her children, including my maternal grandfather Henry (far right). She was born in Dublin, Ireland in 1880 and died in Queens, NY in 1952. She immigrated to America, through Ellis Island, in 1903. She was 23 years old and arrived with three US dollars to her name.
This trip to Ireland will mark my first group tour experience. We’ve never been on a weeklong tour before. I usually book the hotels and do all the planning myself, but since it’s my birthday, I wanted to give myself a break and have someone else do the planning.
I looked at many types of tours (including on bikes and boats), but ultimately decided to try a Rick Steves tour. Good old Rick—PBS super nerd! I love his guidebooks and his travel philosophy in general. Plus, he is a well known weed-smoking liberal, so the chances of having any Trumpers in our group are slim.
So now, I need to start reading more about Ireland. I’ve already watched many of the recent TV shows and movies set there, including the excellent miniseries about The Troubles—Say Nothing.
Our tour is in the Republic of Ireland only, but I’m contemplating taking a trip up to Belfast (Northern Ireland, UK) at the end of the trip. We will be staying a few extra days in Dublin, where our son will join us, so I need to make some plans for that time.
Please send your Dublin recommendations and any advice you might have about planning a day trip to Belfast.
Also, books! What should I read to help truly understand the heart of this country and its people, from whom so many of us Americans descend?
I’m open to the classics, as well as modern fiction, historical fiction and nonfiction.
Do you ever wonder what regular old middle class Germans chatted about in say…1935? Did they mostly carry on as if everything was basically OK? Did they politely avoid talking about “politics” in social situations?
It’s definitely getting harder to continue having light, casual conversations with people who are completely unperturbed by what’s happening in our country right now. (You know, those folks who can somehow just ignore an American President who flouts our laws, attacks journalists, outlaws all diversity initiatives, and wants to annex Canada.)
On the other hand, I’m not (yet) up for joining “The Fight” to save our country, which so many of my liberal friends have already embraced wholeheartedly. It all failed so miserably in 2024, I feel like they’re missing something.
I really do wonder about Germany.
Happy-looking members of the “League of German Girls” in 1935 (source: Wikipedia). I wonder what they were hearing at home from their parents.
I had been hoping our elected Democrats were going to do the heavy lifting for us fighting back against authoritarianism and protecting democracy (at least until the midterms). But it doesn’t seem like that’s the case.
Having watched interviews with a few Senate democrats recently, I have come to the conclusion that their planis us. It seems like they’re waiting for public outrage and mass protests to emerge so huge that they will be impossible to ignore and that this will somehow bend the trajectory of this country away from fascism.
If you didn’t get your invitation yet, here’s what’s happening April 5:
OH MY GOD, we’re literally protesting everything. My first thought is I’m tired and that sounds like a LOT. Jamming Boston Common (or DC or NYC or wherever) with thousands of other people holding all sorts of signs, with no bathrooms and no place to park, does not sound fun. Second, I’ve done mass protests before and they don’t seem to work. Third, is this type of thing still safe in America? What if Dear Leader pulls some crazyass shit—like declares “martial law”—and sends in the military? I have never been tear-gassed and I don’t want to be!
I’m starting to hear more stories of individual lives affected by the chaos in DC: my son’s friend (a 2024 college graduate) is losing his job at the local Air Force Base because he is a “probationary employee” (employed less than a year); my cousin’s brilliant daughter is a diplomat on maternity leave from a State Department post abroad and has no idea what will happen with her job upon her return—a job for which she is uniquely well qualified and very highly trained; a friend of a friend’s disabled daughter is losing all of her special services and programs in Connecticut; and the mother of a trans 18-year old in my church is trying to source the medications he needs from pharmacies outside the US because Trump’s anti “child mutilation” order arbitrarily states that 19 is the age at which the order does not apply.
And, like millions of other Americans, we’ve seen our healthcare costs go up and retirement investments and overall net worth go down since January 20.
I feel as if we are basically powerless to do anything about what’s happening in Washington right now, but at least we can “bear witness”— and that’s what I’m witnessing right now.
What are you witnessing in your community? Do you know anyone who has lost their job as a direct result of Dear Leader & his chainsaw-wielding Robot Man?
Honestly, sometimes I think Republicans are just mean. Can you imagine treating a person sitting right in front of you as if they don’t even exist?
Chris of A New Life After Cancer reminded me that it’s International Women’s Day (IWD), which is not typically on our radar (or our calendars) in the US.
With the resurgence of full blown patriarchy on steroids here, it’s probably a good year to remember to mark IWD!
I’ll start with Boston Mayor Michelle Wu who did a great job defending our city in front of the bullies in Congress this week. She was forced to travel to DC to testify in front of hostile MAGA legislators just 7 weeks after giving birth and many found her calm, brave strength inspiring.
Boston Mayor Michelle Wu with 7-week old Mira in Washington DC on Ash Wednesday
Thank you Mayor Wu—a strong and fearless millennial.
After seeing all of the Oscar-nominated films, I watched the broadcast with great interest last night—and lots of snacks. I tried to keep them healthy-ish (fig newtons, apple butter), but by the end of the night I was eating salted dark chocolate caramels.
Considering the state of our democracy, there was an eerie lack of political commentary. Is Hollywood actually afraid to directly criticize Dear Leader?? I thought Conan did a generally good job, but he only made one joke about Trump (saying that maybe Anora was popular because people liked seeing someone stand up to a powerful Russian). And only honorary GenXer Daryl Hannah (age 64) said anything at all about Ukraine. She came out with a “Slava Ukraine 🇺🇦” before she started reading her lines from the teleprompter.
I was not a huge fan of Anora, but I was glad to see an independent film do so well. I thought that GenXer Sean Baker’s plea to get people to go see movies in theaters again was good. He’s right that there’s a certain kind of magic in the communal, big screen experience. Plus, it helps keep those independent theaters open.
For me, the best parts of the night were the Wicked parts! The two stars looked amazing on the red carpet and their opening number was electrifying. It moved from Ariana Grande singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow in a ruby slippers-inspired gown to Cynthia Erivo singing something familiar from The Wiz (the hit 70s movie musical produced by Quincy Jones) to a live version of Defying Gravity that had every woman and gay man in the audience crying Broadway tears of joy. Long live musical theater!
Later, as part of a tribute to Quincy Jones, Queen Latifah did Ease on Down the Road from The Wiz (my favorite number from that show) with a big cast of dancers. You could see Colman Domingo, along with Cynthia and Ariana, dancing in the front row.
GenX, if you missed seeing The Wiz in the seventies, then you need to go back and at least watch that number with Diana Ross (as Dorothy) and Michael Jackson (as the scarecrow).
My favorite award of the night was when Paul Tazewell won Best Costume Design for Wicked. He proudly lifted up the fact that he was the first Black man to ever win this award and it was very moving.
Costume designer Paul Tazewell
Least favorite speeches: I thought that both of the white guys winning the major acting awards—Aidan Brody and Kieran Culkin—went on too long (shushing the music several times) and were self-indulgent. Culkin used the opportunity to pressure his wife into bearing another one of his children and Brody eventually got around to mentioning something important (antisemitism) but it took forever. Sit down guys. You’re both very wealthy actors. Have some self-awareness.
In contrast, I thought Zoe Saldaña’s speech was heartfelt and meaningful. A first-generation immigrant from the Dominican Republic, she dedicated the award to her late grandmother. Plus, she looked amazing.
There are very few women who could pull off this “bubble” dress look, but I thought Zoe Saldaña wore it beautifully.
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