If you’re GenX like me, about half your life was captured on film only (if at all). Digital cameras were not a thing when we were kids. If you were the third or fourth kid in the family, there may be very few photos of you as a child. This is not the case with me. I am the oldest and my parents were diligent. There are a lot of pics of me as a kid. Later on, I liked taking photos and even took a photography class or two.
Therefore, I’ve got a huge closet full of photo albums, boxes of loose photos, and a folder of black and white negatives in my basement, most of which have not been digitized. These include photos from throughout my life from 1965 through the birth of my second child in 2000. (After that, we went digital.) The photo albums are pretty easy to leaf through as they mostly have the correct year on the spine. And the boxes aren’t too bad because they’re pretty small. Until this weekend, I had ignored the big folder of negatives.
Welp, I finally decided to have a look and it turns out that the negatives are almost entirely from the year 1989–the year I took a photography class at the Museum of Fine Arts School in Boston. There are apps now for scanning negatives with your phone. I used one called FilmBox. It worked OK. There were a few surprises in those negatives. Things I had completely forgotten or only vaguely remembered were jolted back into my mind through the tiny black and white images.
My three best friends from college and me in Boston’s North End. This was about 18 months after we graduated. I had forgotten that we briefly all lived in the same city.
This was an art exhibition opening at the museum where I got my first job: The Institute of Contemporary Art. I had forgotten about those openings and the cheap white wine we always served at them. I typically invited my friends who lived in Boston.
The woman on the right, Teil, was my second boss at the museum. She taught me so much and was such a wonderful person. I think this is the only picture I have of Teil. It’s appropriate that she has a plastic cup of that cheap white wine in her hand.
I had forgotten that my 80s friend Debbie came to visit me in my first studio apartment in the Fenway. Seeing her in front of my turntable, CDs and record albums (in milk crates) reminded me of how people used to look through each others music collections as a way of sort of figuring out what they were like. At that point, I think our musical tastes were diverging, but we both liked Prince.
In that same studio apartment, I had forgotten that my very bad cat Kimba was SO bad that I had to keep the bathroom trashcan above the mirror or he’d spread it all around the apartment. He was very cute, but a real pain in the neck.
I definitely remember going to the massive March on DC for abortion rights in April 1989, but had forgotten I went with two friends from work—Ann and Bridget. Later that year, Bridget and I became roommates in the North End.
Another commonly held belief seems to be that older generations are somehow tougher than younger ones. That life was harder for them and people have gotten progressively more comfortable.
I beg to differ.
Although the tremendous sacrifices and bravery of the so-called “Greatest Generation” can never be overestimated (they literally risked everything to defeat the Nazis), I would argue that non-marginalized groups in the following generation (my parents cohort) have had it pretty good. Many went from lower class (aka poor) to highly comfortable and secure in a single lifetime. And although we benefited from our parents’ prosperity, the following generation (mine) has had it harder in many ways. And our kids are going to have it even harder.
Not to be a Debbie Downer, but there are reasons the birthrate is historically low in 2025. We all know millennials who are choosing not to have children (or GenXers & Boomers who are sad that they will never be grandparents).
I asked ChatGPT to compare the lives of someone born in the mid 1930s, mid 1960s, and mid 1990s.
Facts:
1. Income & Jobs
Born mid-1930s (entered workforce ~1950s): Median household income in 1955: ~$5,000 (≈ $58,000 in today’s dollars). A single income (often the father’s) could support a family, home, and college savings. Job security was higher; pensions were common. Born mid-1960s (entered workforce ~1980s): Median household income in 1985: ~$23,600 (≈ $66,000 today). Both parents often worked, butwages grew more slowly compared to the cost of living. 401(k)s replaced pensions, shifting retirement risk to individuals. Born mid-1990s (entered workforce ~2015–2020): Median household income in 2019: ~$68,700. In real terms, wages for young workers have stagnated since the 1970s, while housing, education, and healthcare rose sharply. Gig economy and contract jobs more common, less stability/benefits.
2. Cost of College (Public University, In-State Tuition)
1930scohort (college in 1950s): $200/year tuition ($2,400 today). College was affordable even with part-time work; no significant debt. 1960scohort (college in 1980s): $1,500/year tuition ($4,000–$5,000 today). Still affordable with summer jobs; modest debt possible. 1990scohort (college in 2010s): ~$10,000/year tuition (public); $35,000–$50,000/year (private). Widespread reliance on loans; average borrower debt: $30,000+.
3. Healthcare Costs
1930s cohort: Out-of-pocket affordable; many employers covered full family insurance. Doctor visits and hospital stays far cheaper relative to income. 1960s cohort: Insurance became tied to employment. Costs rose, but still manageable. Deductibles/co-pays introduced. 1990s cohort: Healthcare costs skyrocketed (family premiums ~$24,000/year by 2025, often split with employer). Medical debt is a leading cause of bankruptcy.
4. Cost of Raising a Child (to age 18, middle-class family), not including college
1930s cohort (raising kids in 1960s): ~$25,000 total (≈ $240,000 today). 1960s cohort (raising kids in 1990s): ~$150,000 (≈ $280,000 today). 1990s cohort (raising kids in 2020s): ~$310,000. Housing, childcare, healthcare, and college costs exploded. Childcare alone can rival college tuition.
5. Retirement
1930s cohort: Retired with pensions, Social Security, mortgage-free home. Comfortable retirement was realistic for average workers. 1960s cohort: Retirement savings depended on 401(k)s and IRAs; investment risk shifted to individuals. Some still had pensions, but they were fading. 1990s cohort: Retirement is much more uncertain. Pensions rare; Social Security’s future questioned. Rising housing and healthcare costs make saving harder. Many expect to work past 65.
A final note: When my friend Carla was dying in 2022 at age 57 from brain cancer, she commented that at least she wasn’t going to have to worry about paying bills anymore. She felt that one upside of an early death would be a release from financial concerns. Carla had an advanced degree in nursing and worked (very hard) as a hospice medical director. She was married with two adult children that she’d been able to send to college.
And I’m sure she walked to school in the snow plenty of times.
There seems to be a commonly held belief that people are basically good. That despite all the problems in the world, humans are decent. People seem to attribute this to the fact that we “all want the same things” (peace, safety, etc.) Two friends of mine (a well-off white couple in their 70s) travel the country more than half of each year in their deluxe RV. They go everywhere—red states, blue states, purple states, Canada. (Come to think of it, they never seem to cross over into Mexico.) Anyway, when they get back, they always gush about how wonderful people are.
I must say—lately, I’m really questioning this whole idea.
The obvious example is war. All war, but Gaza in particular. I mean—holy shit. How are we allowing that to go on? Not just allowing it—enabling it. Ten-year old boys getting shot, while trying to bring a bit of food back to their starving families. The terrorism that started that particular war on October 7, 2023 included children getting murdered. And not by bombs. Individual human adults consciously murdered individual human children that day, including at least one 10-month old baby.
But back to America.
The level of depravity in the man who currently occupies the White House is well-documented. His words are so objectionable to me that I typically don’t read them directly. But I hear about them and they always make me think about the amount of “overlooking” millions of Americans had to do to allow him to become our highest leader—twice. Would a country that’s filled with “basically good” people do that?
Just one of endless examples of his cruelty—very often directed at women and people of color
And because nothing else has worked, Governor Gavin Newsom of California is imitating Trump’s cruel, egomaniacal writing style in an effort to try to fight back against Trumpism. Even the most profoundly “decent” leader of my lifetime, Barack Obama, says that what Newsom is trying to do is justified, given where we are.
So yeah, I’m not so sure about the “basically good” thing anymore.
President Obama tearing up as he spoke of the slaying of 20 first-graders in Newtown, Connecticut.
The USS Constitution (“Old Ironsides”) with the Bunker Hill Monument in the background (August 21, 2025)
Do you know which great American city has been fighting authoritarians for 250 years? Sit down Philadelphia, because it’s Boston.
Fought on June 17, 1775, the Battle of Bunker Hill was one of the first major battles of the American Revolutionary War. Despite being technically a British victory, the battle showed that colonial forces could stand up to the British army, significantly boosting American morale.
In 1776, with the signing of the Declaration of Independence in Philadelphia (OK Philly we see you) the colonies formally declared themselves a new nation, requiring defense both on land and at sea. By 1794, with independence secured but U.S. ships vulnerable to attacks by pirates and foreign powers, Congress authorized the building of six frigates, including the USS Constitution.
In 1797, the USS Constitution was launched in Boston Harbor. During the War of 1812, she defeated multiple British ships in single day combat. In her most famous victory, British cannonballs bounced off her hull which was built with dense live oak (60% denser than white oak), thus the nickname Old Ironsides. The ship become a powerful symbol of the young republic’s survival and determination.
The ship in my photo is not a replica, it’s the actual USS Constitution. While she has undergone many restorations (her timbers have been replaced over time), her keel and much of her structure remain historic. She’s berthed at the Charlestown Navy Yard in Boston Harbor and is still an active U.S. Navy ship, with a crew of active-duty sailors who give tours.
Now check out Boston’s current mayor—Michelle Wu—telling overreaching, authoritarian President Donald Trump to go fuck himself in so many words.
Like Sex and the City, Rosie O’Donnell is very aligned to me culturally.
In case you don’t remember the 1990s, Rosie O’Donnell was HUGE—one of America’s biggest cultural figures. Her daytime talkshow The Rosie O’Donnell Show won multiple Emmys and the media nicknamed her “The Queen of Nice.” She was truly a household name. I watched her a lot. She adopted her first child Parker in 1995, the same year I became a mom. She kept me company during the day when I was home with my kids. She was funny, kind, warm and loved Broadway musicals like I did.
In the 2000s, her image shifted as she came out publicly and became a strong advocate for LGBTQ+ rights, which made me like her even more. Later, when she was on The View, I didn’t watch her as often because I was back working, but I know that’s when her public fights with Donald Trump really ramped up. My recollection is that it was primarily a beef between two New Yorkers that had history and absolutely hated each other in a way that only two New Yorkers can.
Well, lo and behold, thirty years later, Trump is the most authoritarian President the United States has ever seen and Rosie has escaped to Ireland.
In fact, since I discovered her TikTok and Substack shortly before my trip to Ireland, I’ve been following her time abroad closely. She seems to really love living in Dublin, although she misses her family. I even went to the Dublin comedy club where she had been practicing her act for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. By all accounts, she was a smashing success there. She plays Australia next.
I’m happy for Rosie that things are going well for her abroad, but I’m very aware of the absolutely dystopian reasons she left the country.
We are in uncharted waters now.
We live in a time when an American President publicly threatens to revoke a natural-born American’s citizenship for no reason other than that he just really fucking hates her.
Tom Cruise on The Rosie O’Donnell Show (and BTW, good on Tom for declining to accept a lifetime achievement award from Orange Mussolini at The Kennedy Center)
It’s painful to go back and read this post from about a year ago—the day after Kamala Harris accepted the Democratic nomination for President of the United States. I had cried during her acceptance speech.
After so many months of dread and fear, I finally let myself feel hope and optimism for the future. My little granddaughter would be coming into a world where a woman of color was President, women’s rights to their own bodies would be restored, protecting our planet would be an international mission, and hate and racism would recede.
I did not fully understand the MAGA/Epstein drama until last night.
From The New York Times (David French, 7/13/25):
The Epstein story mattered so much in MAGA circles because it was a key element in their indictment of America’s so-called ruling class. Trump’s appeal to the Republican base isn’t just rooted in his supporters’ extraordinary affection for the man; it’s also rooted in their almost indescribably dark view of the American government.
Why are they so keen to burn it all down? Well, if you believe your government is populated by people so depraved that they’d participate in and cover up the systematic sexual abuse of children, then you wouldn’t just want them out of office; you’d want them prosecuted, imprisoned and maybe even executed. And you’d want all the power you’d need to make that happen.
And if you believe that the ruling elites would abuse children, then they’d certainly be the kind of people who’d gin up a Russia hoax or try to steal an election in 2020. People who are that terrible are capable of anything. And if you wonder why MAGA turned on the F.B.I. and the Department of Justice, well, it’s not just about the Russia investigation or the F.B.I. search of Trump’s home in Mar-a-Lago. MAGA America also believed the F.B.I. was protecting pedophiles to preserve the status quo.
Soooo, the MAGAs are mad not because Epstein’s client list might expose Trump. They’re mad because the list is being withheld and will (they think) include big name Democrats so privileged and depraved that the MAGA worldview of a “corrupt liberal elite” will be confirmed. When Trump doesn’t pursue that narrative, it undermines his role as their chosen avenger.
Honestly, this is all so warped, I feel like it’s an alternate reality.
Is anyone else stumped when they have to choose their eye color for an official document like their REAL ID/Drivers License?
Last time I chose Hazel, but I really don’t think that was right.
AI generated eye color chart
The Massachusetts choices are: Black, Brown, Gray, Hazel, Pink, Blue, Dichromatic, Green, Maroon, and Unknown.
Maybe Gray is the closest?
Or Green?
Or basic Blue?
But definitely not Hazel, right? I think I messed up picking Hazel.
It’s not a big deal, but I think this may be the type of thing that concerns me more now that I feel like our country is descending into authoritarianism. In movies, Nazis are always asking people for their papers, Are my papers in order?
Excerpt: Belarus is a warning that democracy is fragile and that authoritarianism is not a wrecking ball but a hatchet, which slowly chips away until everything is broken beyond recognition.
My parents have traveled a lot. They’ve been to many countries and seen many things. And one thing I’ve noticed is that they’ve forgotten quite a few specifics of late. I’m not blaming them (they’re pretty darn old), but I’d like to not forget as much as possible.
Typically, I take photos of signs or menus to remember where I was, but now our phones tell us exactly where each pic was taken (which is handy).
In any case, this post is mostly for me, like a diary. And possibly for my kids or grandkids who may someday wonder where exactly we went in Ireland on that trip we took back in 2025.
Barry’s Tea in our room at the Old Ground Hotel in Ennis. I thought this was a good sign because “Barry” was my great grandmother’s last name! Barry’s is one of 2 major tea brands popular in Ireland. The other one is Lyons. We were told people are fiercely loyal to one brand or the other. Nobody ever switches brands.Irish breakfast at Café Aroma, Ennis This document is the 1916 Proclamation of the Irish Republic, one of the most important texts in Irish history. We saw it everywhere. This one is in Ennis. Here’s the sign at the Cliffs of Moher. Everything is written in both English and Irish (aka Irish Gaelic)—it’s not a dead language. People still speak it and kids are required to learn it in a school.My dessert at Henry’s Bistro & Wine Bar, EnnisWe took the The Killimer–Tarbert Ferry across the Shannon River in western Ireland. It connects Killimer, in County Clare to Tarbert, in County Kerry This is the pub in Listowel (County Kerry) owned by Billy Keane, son of beloved Irish playwright John B. Keane. Billy told us many great stories and (because it was my birthday) I was selected to play the part of a drunk patron being shooed from the bar with a push broom. I nailed it. 🤣This is The South Pole Pub in Annascaul, County Kerry, where we stopped for a drink on a rainy day. It was owned and run by Tom Crean, one of Ireland’s greatest polar explorers.Tom Crean (1877-1938) played a major role in Ernest Shackleton’s Endurance expedition, one of the greatest survival stories in exploration history. Handsome, right?In Dingle, we were lucky to get in to see the exceptional Harry Clarke stained‑glass windows in the Chapel of the Sacred Heart, part of the former Presentation Sisters’ convent on Green Street, now known as An Díseart – Institute of Irish Spirituality and Culture. A close-up of “The Three Kings” in one of the Harry Clarke windows (the faces, wow)This is where we saw a crystal cutting demo and I bought a cute little bud vase with Irish beehive design. It’s signed by the founder and master cutter Sean Daly.I managed to get it home unbroken in my carry-on, even though Irish airport security insisted on unpacking it! Slea Head Drive, The Blasket Centre and Gallarus Oratory in the Dingle Peninsula was the most spectacular day of the trip.I had my first Guinness at Curran’s Pub in Dingle and it was good. Not all pubs in Ireland serve Guinness correctly. You have to ask the locals.This is the lobby of the Milltown House in Dingle where we stayed for two nights. This horse—I mean dog—lives in the hotel. He’s a huge Irish Wolfhound named Seamus.We had a truly delicious dinner at Doyle’s Seafood in Dingle. I heard a great guitarist/singer at this pub in Dingle. He had the whole place singing along.The sign from the Monastery in Adare explains that the many pigeons you see nesting in the walls of ancient buildings in Ireland were actually a major food source for the monks. 🤢The choir logo (for lack of a better word) from the choir quarters at the Rock of Cashel. As a choir lady myself, I had to get a photo of it. Apparently they treated those 15th century choristers very well around town! Free food, etc (if they flashed the logo)We had a nice cocktail party and group dinner here at “The Left Bank” in Kilkenny. We stayed nearby at the Pembroke.Explanation of another fascinating, ancient spiral 🌀 carving in the Glendalough Visitor Center, County Wicklow.This one has a cross in the middle of the spiral so they think it’s from a later period than the ones at Newgrange.Delicious lunch at Avoca Fern House, about 35 minutes south of Dublin in Kilmacanogue, County WicklowArtist and activist Grace Gifford Plunkett’s cell at Kilmainham jail (subject of Rod Stewart’s song Grace, she married her husband just before his execution)This is a huge sign on a building in the main courtyard of Trinity College near the Book of Kells entrance.An interactive display at the EPIC Museum in Dublin told me I’m part of the large Irish diaspora with the Barry nameWe stayed at the Iveagh Garden Hotel in Dublin, which is in a fantastic location. The ancient Gleninsheen Gold Collar at the National Museum of Archaeology in Dublin. In addition to the magnificent gold collection, the preserved human “bog bodies” are a highlight of this major FREE museum. The International is a centrally located bar with stand-up comedy shows upstairs AND in the cellar. Rosie O’Donnell (who left the US for Ireland due to Trump) has been honing her set here over the past few months. We pinned a dollar on the wall at The Hairy Lemon in Dublin.I finally got my Fish and Chips there. It was good! They served it with pea mash—unclear if the mash was for dipping the fish or fries—or just eating plain.A small sign in the exterior of the Unitarian Church of Dublin, which was very close to our hotel (Iveagh Garden)Pride and Diversity flags were flying all over Dublin.Ireland is a successful, progressive country in 2025. It has great public schools, free healthcare, free college, legal abortion, same sex marriage, and is the second wealthiest country in Europe, believe it or not! We were told on multiple occasions that the Catholic Church is used mainly to “match, hatch and dispatch” and that young people rarely attend mass. Multiculturalism is a goal there.
Lo and behold, I’m able to answer today’s daily prompt! (Typically I see a message saying that I have already answered the daily prompt, as I’ve been blogging regularly for well over a year now.)
How do you waste the most time every day?
The big news is that I started this blog when I turned 50 and named it accordingly, but the seasons…they go round and round…and now I’m 60.
And, I’m still wasting far too much time looking at social media. I’ve even added TikTok to my repertoire. Oy.
But here’s what I’m going to try to stop wasting so much time on this decade: controlling situations and worrying about outcomes. I’m really REALLY going to try to live in the moment more. I want to enjoy my life.
Stephanie’s terrific response about worry reminded me that just recognizing when you’re fretting is a step in the right direction.
From the moment we get a positive pregnancy test to the day we die, moms will worry about their kids, but the active “molding” phase of that job is over for me. I can relax. I’ve told my kids everything I think they should know. We got them all the shots, hosted all the birthday parties, went to all the games, helped with all the homework, paid all the tuition bills. We did good! If I die tomorrow, they will be fine.
So, as a first step, here’s three things I enjoyed recently:
Swimming outside – my outdoor lap pool is open for the season and how lucky am I that I get to swim in a nice, warm, sun-filled lap lane?
Strawberries 🍓- It’s strawberry season here and they are delicious.
Books – I got a free Audibles subscription for two months and have started listening to books, which is a very different experience. I find that memoirs read by the author are especially good, because they know exactly which words to emphasize! (Currently listening to Molly Jong-Fast’s new book: “How to Lose Your Mother: A Daughter’s Memoir”)
Final thought: hating DJT and everything he represents and does has been a pretty major feature of the past ten years for me. In order to enjoy my life more, I need to somehow let that go a bit. My feeling is that maybe by staying involved in my church (which is full of activists), I can feel like I’m doing something without letting the political situation make me feel hopeless. Would love any tips that other like-minded people may have about this.
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