Politics

AIDS made me a lifelong lib

~ MaryG ~ 2 Comments

How have your political views changed over time?

I’ve gotten more liberal.

When I was young, my views were influenced by my parents and the Catholic Church. I remember defending Nancy Reagan in an editorial I wrote for a high school social studies class.

By the time I was a junior in college, I had totally changed my mind about President Reagan. Working in the arts after college, and being exposed to the AIDS activism in that community, opened my eyes further to structural inequities. The fact that the AIDS virus (HIV) was considered a “pre-existing condition” by insurance companies and could leave young, sick people without medical care was very real and horrific to me.

Reagan was so slow to even acknowledge AIDS was a disease (much less a full blown crisis), the arts community was absolutely furious and made a lot of art about it. That had a profound effect on me.

Activist art by the Keith Haring, who died of complications from AIDS in 1990 at age 31

All bets are off

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Are you a good judge of character?
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No, I am not a good judge of character. Prior to the 2016 election, I would’ve had a different answer. Back then, my idea of “good character” was still based on what I’d learned over the years in school and church and from my family. Lying and stealing were bad. Racism and misogyny were also bad. Nazis were the absolute worst. Sure, I had rejected the Catholic Church and become a Unitarian Universalist, but I believed that most people (liberal or conservative) had a common understanding of the differences between right and wrong. I did not vote for John McCain or Mitt Romney, but I understood why reasonable people would. They were men of good character. Then, 63 million of my fellow Americans, including the man I’ve loved and trusted since Day One (my dad), voted for someone who had been caught on tape admitting to sexual assault and I realized that I never really knew anything about anyone. 

Back when things were clearer, my mom was a leader of Camp Fire Girls and took us camping. The Camp Fire Girls motto was WoHeLo, which stood for Work, Health, Love.

Ralph Nader

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.
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When I was a senior in college (around 1986), Ralph Nader came to campus and I went to hear him speak. At that time, he was mainly known as a consumer safety advocate and had not yet run for POTUS. He was suffering from Bell’s Palsy at the time (a temporary condition) and half his face was paralyzed, yet he persevered with a pair of dark sunglasses to protect his unblinking eye and gave a very inspirational speech.

I had no idea what I wanted to do when I graduated. I’d majored in history. My standard answer to people who asked me what I planned to do after graduation was, “well, I have jury duty,” which was true.

It seemed that a lot of people were planning either to go to graduate school or seek jobs in New York City (Wall Street for financial types and Madison Avenue for advertising types). I was interested in neither. Nader was the first person to introduce me to the idea of a “nonprofit organization.” He talked about “the greater good” and floated the idea that a career in the nonprofit world was a perfectly legitimate option for college graduates. I honesly had never considered that path until I went to a lecture by Ralph Nader.

That led to me seeking out an internship and eventually a job in the art museum world (a true passion of mine). I remember that my college had exactly zero resources for someone looking to work in nonprofits. I had to drive down to neighboring Wesleyan University to access a datatbase of opportunities. One job lead to another and I ended up working in the nonprofit world for over 35 years. For the most part, I really enjoyed my career and was motivated by the missions of the various organizations I served. I don’t think I ever would’ve been happy at a bank or an insurance company.

So thanks Ralph. I do appreciate the door you threw open in my mind back in 1986. This does not, however, excuse your possibly throwing the 2000 election to George W. Bush over Al Gore, but everyone makes mistakes.

First day as a mother of two

~ MaryG ~ 1 Comment
Daily writing prompt
Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.
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Today is my son John’s birthday. It’s also Taylor Swift’s birthday and Santa Lucia day in Sweden – so it’s a big day around the world. (Lucia is my daughter’s name, so it’s interesting that he was born on her saint’s name day. And by the way, I’ve added visiting Sweden to my bucket list.)

I waited a long time (six years) to have a second child. I was happy with my one little girl and didn’t think I wanted more children. When I started to second guess that decision, I really agonized about it. I made lists of pros and cons, saw a therapist, and read a book about the environmental impact of having more than one child in a First World country: Maybe One by the great environmentalist Bill McKibben. 

In the end, my heart won out and we were so fortunate to receive the best Christmas present ever in the last month of the first year of the new millennium: an adorable baby boy. I was over 35, so I know I was lucky! On my first day as a mother of two, I felt that our family was complete. There was no turning back now. It felt like I had fully committed to this motherhood thing. It would be the most important part of my identity for the foreseeable future.

Christmas 2000

Related:

I’m someone’s mother

Public singing vs public speaking

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
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I have performed on stages many times, with choirs and choruses. In the past, I wrote about how I took voice lessons in my forties so I would be better prepared for the occasional solo.

Public speaking is harder than public singing for me. I can’t remember ever giving a speech. I once presented an award to a dear colleague – in front of cameras and an audience – but I don’t think I had to say anything. They used my words (from a previous essay) to quote me while I was on the stage. Here’s the photographic proof.

Berklee 2017 Urban Service Awards

A side story to this photo is that Boston’s current Mayor, Michelle Wu, also received an award at this same event and I was seated next to her. This was before she was the mayor. At the time, she was a Boston City Councilor, but I did not recognize her. She looked so young. I thought she was a college student and I asked her what her major was. Then she got up to receive her award. Oops! Embarassing. (Sorry, Mayor Wu)

The Flinstones and The Phryges

~ MaryG ~ 8 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite cartoon?
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I no longer watch cartoons, but as a kid, my favorite cartoon was definitely The Flinstones–a GenX cornerstone. If you never pictured yourself going out for a Brontosaurus Burger with Fred in his foot-powered vehicle, you must be a millennial (or younger). And I still think of any one-shouldered dress as a “Wilma.”

The Flinstones

But sorry, I’m not done relating these “daily prompts” to my recent trip to Paris. As I mentioned, they were very busy gearing up for the 2024 Olympics, while we were there. The mascot is The Phryges – pronounced like “fridge” with a long E sound and an “uh.” He/She/They? (I’m feeling like “they” is the correct pronoun in English) are described as “being part of the Phryges tribe, those little Phrygian hats that have come to help the French with their revolution through the power of Sport.” They’re cute, n’est-ce pas?

I didn’t buy one, but I thought about it.
By 1791, the Phrygian Cap or Bonnet Rouge had become de rigueur for sans-culotte militants to wear to show their loyalty to the cause. (I’m hoping US citizens don’t need to adopt something similar after our 2024 national election.)

Family

~ MaryG ~ 1 Comment

Who are your current most favorite people?

Thanksgiving 2023

My family is the most important thing to me. If they’re OK, I can live my life and have fun doing things I like. If something is wrong with one of them, it’s hard for me to concentrate on anything else.

When I wake up in the morning, I sometimes think about all the people around the world who are struggling with so many things – from chronic pain or addiction, to loneliness, to war. I know circumstances can change for anyone, anytime, anywhere. I wish everyone could have at least one happy hour a day – pain-free, safe, loved.

On a related note, it’s been heartwarming to see some of the hostages released in Israel. The moment when they’re reunited with their loved ones is so powerful. I’m happy for those families.

Masshole here

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

I think I’ll stay in Massachusetts. It’s such a boring answer, but with the world the way it is, I really wouldn’t want to risk any other state or country. The long cold winters are a big problem for me, but you can always jump on a plane to someplace warm.

Top 5 things about Massachusetts:

We have many beaches — from Salisbury to Westport, plus Cape Cod and the islands of Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket

We have mountains — the Berkshires are a magical region loaded with world class cultural organizations like Tanglewood and Jacob’s Pillow

We have Boston — it ain’t NYC, but it’s a real city with an international airport and several wonderful art museums

Most of the people I love and care about live here.

Politics: we were the first state to legalize same sex marriage and pass universal healthcare. We guarantee women’s reproductive freedom and have restrictive gun laws (although loopholes still exist). Trump lost every single Massachusetts county in the 2020 election.

People call us “Massholes,” but that’s just because they don’t know how to fuckin’ drive.

I Hate Funeral Homes

~ MaryG ~ 6 Comments

What was your favorite subject in school?

My favorite subject in school was English.

I always liked reading, and writing was OK too. As a senior in high school, I took a class called Humanities, which looked at different periods through literature, art, and music. It was co-taught by a team of three teachers.

The class was only for seniors and everyone had to do a final project. We did them in groups. My two best friends and I wrote and performed a play entitled “I Hate Funeral Homes.” As best I can remember, it was about three high school friends meeting up at their 15th reunion. So we were 18-year olds pretending to be 33-year olds, which seemed very old at the time. We had each taken different paths in our lives since high school—one of us was married, one divorced, and one was something else I can’t remember.

One of the themes of the play was how people don’t really listen to each other. Instead, they’re always thinking about what they’ll say next. So the lines were a series of non-sequiturs starting with “I Hate Funeral Homes.”

I don’t remember much else about the play except my costume, which was a black taffeta pantsuit. I was supposed to be the rich one. It was my first pantsuit, but not my last.

So, yeah, English was my favorite subject in school, but writing and performing a play with my best friends is my favorite memory.

The cast of “I Hate Funeral Homes” celebrating our 50th birthdays together in New Orleans

Down with paywalls

~ MaryG ~ Leave a comment

What are your favorite websites?

It’s weird how we spend most of our time on apps now, rather than websites. I barely use my personal laptop anymore. Two apps I look at a lot are Instagram and Jetpack. I love reading other bloggers’ answers to the WordPress daily prompt on Jet. Keep ‘em coming!

I mostly go to websites for news and interesting articles by great journalists. I look at The New York Times website quite frequently. And nothing beats The Atlantic for interesting articles by great writers.

It’s very frustrating that both websites have paywalls. As a subscriber, I wish I could share more articles with friends, but unless you send it as “a gift article” (which is inconvenient), people who aren’t subscribers can’t read it.

Great journalism should be free to all!